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00:00:02,124 --> 00:00:03,834
winter break, Greendale!
Happy last day before

2
00:00:03,875 --> 00:00:05,376
Time to visit our loved ones.

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00:00:05,418 --> 00:00:08,088
Some of you will travel
as far as three miles.

4
00:00:08,130 --> 00:00:11,049
winter wonderland in the quad,
Don't forget to visit our

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00:00:11,091 --> 00:00:12,884
where we're giving away
catalogues

6
00:00:12,926 --> 00:00:15,262
of next semester's classes.

7
00:00:17,848 --> 00:00:19,808
Whoa! What's that sound?

8
00:00:19,850 --> 00:00:24,479
Is that the tippy-tapping
of secular boots on the roof?

9
00:00:24,521 --> 00:00:29,901
Oh, well, it must be yet another
sign that it 'tis the season,

10
00:00:29,943 --> 00:00:32,445
because rumor has it

11
00:00:32,487 --> 00:00:35,573
that non-denominational
Mr. Winter

12
00:00:35,615 --> 00:00:37,993
to the student lounge!
is on his way

13
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I am so sick of the dean jamming
his PCness down my throat.

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00:00:42,956 --> 00:00:45,458
Pierce, I'd like to commend you
for letting that one go.

15
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:49,213
PCness. Now I get it.

16
00:00:49,254 --> 00:00:51,422
It sounds like penis.
I just got it too.

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00:00:51,464 --> 00:00:53,466
Well, it's still Christmas
to all of us.

18
00:00:53,508 --> 00:00:55,302
And I made you all
a little gift,

19
00:00:55,344 --> 00:00:57,428
because you're like
my new family.

20
00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:59,181
"W.W.B.J.D."?

21
00:00:59,223 --> 00:01:00,932
"What would Billy Joel do?"
If that stands for

22
00:01:00,974 --> 00:01:03,476
he'd write another crappy song.
I'll tell you right now,

23
00:01:04,644 --> 00:01:06,146
Yeah, in your face,
Billy Joel.

24
00:01:06,188 --> 00:01:07,356
Who is that?

25
00:01:07,397 --> 00:01:08,899
"What would baby Jesus do?"

26
00:01:08,940 --> 00:01:10,901
And it's to remind us
that the real meaning

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00:01:10,942 --> 00:01:12,944
of this season is Christmas.

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thank you, Shirley.
Oh, well,

29
00:01:14,988 --> 00:01:18,616
I'm gonna put that in the pocket
closest to my heart.

30
00:01:18,658 --> 00:01:21,328
No, no, no. It's a bracelet,
you put 'em on.

31
00:01:22,287 --> 00:01:23,621
Everybody put 'em on.

32
00:01:31,963 --> 00:01:34,758
Hey. Hey.

33
00:01:34,799 --> 00:01:37,135
the Winter-Doodles.
You took all

34
00:01:37,177 --> 00:01:39,096
What are you, a douche bag?

35
00:01:39,137 --> 00:01:41,390
They're for my friends.
But there's a lot of
other cookies left.

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00:01:41,430 --> 00:01:44,393
No. Only macadamia nut cookies.
I have a tree-nut allergy.

37
00:01:44,433 --> 00:01:46,270
Christmas-tree-shaped cookies.
You should stay away from

38
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even make allergic sense.
Ha-ha-ha! That did not

39
00:01:48,397 --> 00:01:50,857
What are you, an idiot?

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00:01:50,899 --> 00:01:52,525
Okay, we get it,

41
00:01:52,567 --> 00:01:55,153
you and the A-Team
are awesome, now beat it.

42
00:01:55,195 --> 00:01:56,905
Oh, look at that.
Pretty boy,

43
00:01:56,947 --> 00:01:58,865
standing up for bird-face
over here.

44
00:01:58,907 --> 00:02:00,658
Give me a Winter-Doodle.

45
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,035
If you're trying to be menacing,

46
00:02:02,077 --> 00:02:03,870
maybe don't call the cookie
by its name.

47
00:02:05,289 --> 00:02:07,249
you're a funny man.
Oh, you're funny,

48
00:02:07,291 --> 00:02:08,666
something funny, funny man?
Wanna hear

49
00:02:08,708 --> 00:02:11,878
My fist up your balls.
Knock, knock.

50
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:13,797
Who's there?

51
00:02:13,838 --> 00:02:15,382
Ho, ho, ho!

52
00:02:15,424 --> 00:02:19,636
Merry happy!

53
00:02:19,677 --> 00:02:20,971
This ain't over.

54
00:02:23,223 --> 00:02:25,809
There won't always be
a dean around, all right?

55
00:02:27,311 --> 00:02:29,020
those cookies, Abed.
Still waiting on

56
00:02:32,983 --> 00:02:36,194
To run out of steam ♪
d Give me the hope

57
00:02:39,448 --> 00:02:43,660
Tied up dead in a year ♪
d We could be roped up

58
00:02:56,131 --> 00:02:58,049
It was like My Bodyguard,
Jeff protected my honor.

59
00:02:58,091 --> 00:02:59,384
but I was the kid
from Meatballs,

60
00:02:59,426 --> 00:03:01,136
Full Metal Jacket,
Jeff was from

61
00:03:01,178 --> 00:03:03,305
and mustache guy was the brother
of the guy in Entourage.

62
00:03:03,347 --> 00:03:05,765
You got it.
Thanks for dumbing that down.

63
00:03:05,807 --> 00:03:09,102
What's the deal, Jeff? You leave
your stones in your other suit?

64
00:03:09,144 --> 00:03:10,979
Why didn't you rap that guy
in the face?

65
00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:13,190
that I floss, have a bedframe,
For the same reason

66
00:03:13,231 --> 00:03:15,524
in its case… I'm over 23.
and keep my guitar

67
00:03:15,566 --> 00:03:17,986
handling it peacefully, Jeff.
I'm proud of you for

68
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Like a certain little birthday
boy. Heh-heh-heh.

69
00:03:21,906 --> 00:03:24,993
Real men turn the other cheek.
Let's see 'em.

70
00:03:25,035 --> 00:03:27,704
Nonsense. Men were wired
to fight each other

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00:03:27,745 --> 00:03:29,331
so that women could choose
the right mate.

72
00:03:29,373 --> 00:03:31,666
No, the real reason
men fight

73
00:03:31,708 --> 00:03:33,710
their pent-up gayness.
is to release

74
00:03:33,751 --> 00:03:35,712
That guy wasn't gay,
he had a mustache.

75
00:03:35,753 --> 00:03:37,422
You know what I have? Finals.

76
00:03:37,464 --> 00:03:39,257
for Spanish or not?
Are we cramming

77
00:03:39,299 --> 00:03:41,676
or I'm gonna flunk the class.
I need a 65

78
00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:44,888
Why didn't you do the extra
credit if you knew

79
00:03:44,929 --> 00:03:47,057
that you were failing?

80
00:03:47,098 --> 00:03:50,435
minimum work is my definition of
Because doing more than the

81
00:03:50,477 --> 00:03:52,937
failing.
Quick question.

82
00:03:52,979 --> 00:03:55,232
Christmas party after the final
Are you all coming to my

83
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or are you stopping home

84
00:03:56,774 --> 00:03:59,403
your Christmas outfits?
to change into

85
00:04:02,822 --> 00:04:05,075
one of my Hanukkah sweaters.
I guess I could wear

86
00:04:05,116 --> 00:04:09,662
you weren't, um, Christian.
Ah. Annie, I didn't know

87
00:04:09,704 --> 00:04:13,542
even say I'm Jewish.
Yep, one might

88
00:04:13,583 --> 00:04:15,960
Oh, that's good for you.
That's wonderful.

89
00:04:16,002 --> 00:04:18,004
I respect all religions
of the world.

90
00:04:18,046 --> 00:04:19,923
Jehovah's Witness.
I'm Muslim.

91
00:04:19,964 --> 00:04:22,175
The Lord is testing me.
Atheist.

92
00:04:22,217 --> 00:04:23,427
Guys, this is a subject

93
00:04:23,468 --> 00:04:25,636
that breeds conflict,
can we please…?

94
00:04:25,678 --> 00:04:27,638
What religion are you, Jeff?
I'm agnostic.

95
00:04:29,307 --> 00:04:33,186
Agnostic.
Lazy man's atheist.

96
00:04:33,228 --> 00:04:34,979
I'm born-again.
Oh!

97
00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:37,648
We had are-birthing ritual
in my friend's hot tub.

98
00:04:37,690 --> 00:04:41,611
I'm now a level five Laser Lotus
in my Buddhist community.

99
00:04:41,652 --> 00:04:43,530
That does not sound like
Buddhism.

100
00:04:43,572 --> 00:04:44,781
you're not in a cult?
Are you sure

101
00:04:44,822 --> 00:04:47,117
Just by asking me
that question,

102
00:04:47,158 --> 00:04:49,286
you put me back down
to a level four.

103
00:04:49,327 --> 00:04:51,913
2000 Energon Cubes.
You now owe me

104
00:04:51,955 --> 00:04:54,124
Do you know how foolish
you sound right now?

105
00:04:54,165 --> 00:04:56,543
What else do you believe in,
blood transfusions?

106
00:04:56,585 --> 00:04:59,463
Jehovah's Witnesses are a type
of Christian, right, Troy?

107
00:04:59,504 --> 00:05:02,715
Yeah, but we don't celebrate
birthdays or Christmas,

108
00:05:02,757 --> 00:05:05,260
and we can't drink.
But it helps.

109
00:05:05,302 --> 00:05:07,053
You're like a Muslim.
Assalamu alaikum.

110
00:05:07,095 --> 00:05:08,638
Shama-lama-ding-dong.

111
00:05:08,679 --> 00:05:10,848
a diverse little family.
Well, don't we have

112
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:13,684
I say we open up this party
to all faiths.

113
00:05:13,726 --> 00:05:15,270
my Star of Bethlehem,
Ah, I brought

114
00:05:15,312 --> 00:05:18,231
to the savior of all mankind.
which led the wise men

115
00:05:18,273 --> 00:05:20,650
And you guys can bring
a little trinket

116
00:05:20,691 --> 00:05:24,028
philosophies. Sounds good?
or doodad from your

117
00:05:24,070 --> 00:05:27,115
As an agnostic, I'm gonna
bring my winning smile.

118
00:05:39,002 --> 00:05:42,422
Ugh! So boring.

119
00:05:43,923 --> 00:05:45,467
Done. Hee, hee!

120
00:05:48,428 --> 00:05:50,763
Feliz Navidad.

121
00:05:50,805 --> 00:05:55,101
or none of the above?"
"True or falso

122
00:05:55,143 --> 00:05:56,769
That doesn't make any sense.

123
00:06:00,190 --> 00:06:01,899
Hey, look at that,

124
00:06:01,941 --> 00:06:03,692
Forehead's taking a test.

125
00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:05,487
Why don't you get going,
Chuck Norris?

126
00:06:06,655 --> 00:06:08,114
Did you just shoo me?

127
00:06:08,156 --> 00:06:09,698
Why don't you just kiss him
already?

128
00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:12,327
Dude, I will shoo your nose
down your throat.

129
00:06:12,369 --> 00:06:14,329
Señor Chang, can you do
something about this?

130
00:06:15,330 --> 00:06:16,998
I'll allow it.

131
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,668
Qué pasa here, huh?

132
00:06:21,419 --> 00:06:24,005
It's usted, dude.
Even I know that.

133
00:06:27,217 --> 00:06:29,678
correct my Spanish, No Sleeves.
You picked the wrong day to

134
00:06:29,718 --> 00:06:31,179
It's on!

135
00:06:31,221 --> 00:06:33,139
He's doing this for me.
He's my bodyguard.

136
00:06:33,181 --> 00:06:35,058
Maybe to some show tunes?
You wanna dance?

137
00:06:35,099 --> 00:06:37,268
No, I want to beat
the crap out of you,
and I'm gonna enjoy it.

138
00:06:37,310 --> 00:06:38,769
Because you're like
this school.

139
00:06:38,811 --> 00:06:40,813
You're obnoxious,
you're cramping my style

140
00:06:40,855 --> 00:06:42,315
and you smell like
french-fry oil.

141
00:06:42,357 --> 00:06:44,733
Three o'clock.
I don't get it!

142
00:06:44,775 --> 00:06:47,237
Bike rack! But not the one
by the parking lot!

143
00:06:47,278 --> 00:06:49,531
Right! The one by the trash
cans, near the orange cones,

144
00:06:49,573 --> 00:06:51,282
where they're building
the wheelchair ramp!

145
00:06:51,324 --> 00:06:54,743
Yeah.
Best exam ever.

146
00:06:54,785 --> 00:06:56,954
That guy's awesome.

147
00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:03,420
jerkweed made me fail.
So help me, if that

148
00:07:03,461 --> 00:07:06,047
Well, I aced it, amigo.
That means cousin.

149
00:07:06,089 --> 00:07:07,840
So, what's my role going
to be in the fight?

150
00:07:07,882 --> 00:07:10,594
Is there a moment where I stand
up for myself, and take revenge?

151
00:07:10,635 --> 00:07:12,970
Uh, maybe you should
just hang back.

152
00:07:13,012 --> 00:07:15,014
Yeah, I will. In his face.

153
00:07:15,056 --> 00:07:17,225
Whatever you do, don't tell
Shirley about the fight.

154
00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:20,520
mothery guilt-inducing powers.
She'll start in with all her

155
00:07:20,562 --> 00:07:22,355
You know what I mean?
No.

156
00:07:22,397 --> 00:07:25,108
I'm wearing this Jesus bracelet
because it gets me chicks.

157
00:07:25,149 --> 00:07:26,610
I know guys like this Mike.

158
00:07:26,651 --> 00:07:28,737
He used to be a nerd,
now he's a meathead.

159
00:07:28,778 --> 00:07:30,029
Dangerous combo.

160
00:07:30,071 --> 00:07:33,324
Tyson, Lou Ferrigno,
Rosie O'Donnell.

161
00:07:33,366 --> 00:07:35,868
You're a pretty big dude.
You've probably got moves.

162
00:07:35,910 --> 00:07:38,622
Yeah, I got some theories.

163
00:07:38,663 --> 00:07:41,040
You've never been in a fight?
Technically, no.

164
00:07:41,082 --> 00:07:43,251
and likeable. Call me a name.
I guess I'm too charming

165
00:07:44,669 --> 00:07:46,463
Mm.
I can't.

166
00:07:46,504 --> 00:07:48,923
Are you telling me you've never
been punched in the face?

167
00:07:48,965 --> 00:07:51,509
This is the moneymaker.
No, thank God.

168
00:07:51,551 --> 00:07:54,596
the face, I was like, "Oh, no."
First time I got punched in

169
00:07:54,638 --> 00:07:57,307
But then I was like,
"This is a story."

170
00:07:58,975 --> 00:08:00,893
And a good one.
Yeah.

171
00:08:00,935 --> 00:08:02,228
Every man should be
punched in the face.

172
00:08:02,270 --> 00:08:03,938
It's a rite of passage.

173
00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:05,898
In my day, Friday night was
smoke a doobie,

174
00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:07,776
and then get your teeth
feel up a gal

175
00:08:07,817 --> 00:08:09,319
by a Republican.
knocked out

176
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,237
Guys, the plan here
isn't for me to get hit.

177
00:08:11,279 --> 00:08:12,489
It's for me to hit him.

178
00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:13,823
Oh, then it's settled.

179
00:08:13,864 --> 00:08:15,742
We have to teach Jeffrey
how to fight.

180
00:08:15,784 --> 00:08:17,327
I know a few moves.

181
00:08:17,368 --> 00:08:19,579
handy with a switchblade.
Troy, I assume you're

182
00:08:19,621 --> 00:08:21,372
Abed, you get back
to the family tent,

183
00:08:21,414 --> 00:08:23,333
try to find a chicken
for Jeff to chase.

184
00:08:24,542 --> 00:08:26,461
Guys, I appreciate
the enthusiasm,

185
00:08:26,503 --> 00:08:28,797
but I think I got this.

186
00:08:28,838 --> 00:08:30,881
Oh, well, look who it is.

187
00:08:30,923 --> 00:08:36,304
Dumb Head and the Other Head.
We got Forehead, Old Head,

188
00:08:36,346 --> 00:08:37,639
See you at three, Forehead.

189
00:08:39,307 --> 00:08:40,517
Give me a snowman, dork!

190
00:08:42,602 --> 00:08:45,104
See this, funny guy? Huh?

191
00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:49,359
Huh?

192
00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:52,529
Classic Rosie.

193
00:08:52,570 --> 00:08:54,322
in a half an hour?
Fight lessons

194
00:08:54,364 --> 00:08:56,825
Good plan.

195
00:09:07,293 --> 00:09:08,878
Hello.

196
00:09:08,919 --> 00:09:11,673
Oh! Is this your
Hanukkah holder?

197
00:09:11,715 --> 00:09:13,924
It's, uh… It's pretty.

198
00:09:13,966 --> 00:09:16,469
Let's just put it here.
We'll just, uh…

199
00:09:16,511 --> 00:09:18,680
There we go.
That's nice.

200
00:09:18,722 --> 00:09:24,185
I never knew you were a Jew.
So I can't believe

201
00:09:24,227 --> 00:09:26,937
I'd say the whole word
next time.

202
00:09:29,232 --> 00:09:32,736
So, uh, do you think everyone
will start arriving soon?

203
00:09:32,777 --> 00:09:34,738
I think they're gonna come
after Jeff's fight.

204
00:09:34,779 --> 00:09:36,531
After Jeff's what, now?

205
00:09:38,115 --> 00:09:39,868
Jeff wants to fight that bully.

206
00:09:39,909 --> 00:09:41,202
On Christmas?

207
00:09:41,244 --> 00:09:43,872
Will you excuse me
for a moment?

208
00:09:43,913 --> 00:09:46,708
the manger scene?
Can you finish

209
00:09:49,043 --> 00:09:51,962
We know you were one of us.

210
00:09:57,093 --> 00:09:58,469
What's up? What's up?

211
00:09:58,511 --> 00:10:01,347
No, it's a question.
What's up.

212
00:10:01,389 --> 00:10:03,266
What's up?
What's up?

213
00:10:03,307 --> 00:10:04,768
Not a real question,
a rhetorical one.

214
00:10:04,809 --> 00:10:07,144
You have the answer,
he does not.

215
00:10:07,186 --> 00:10:09,480
Okay, then you give them
the Forest Whitaker eye.

216
00:10:09,522 --> 00:10:11,065
Oh, that's pretty good.

217
00:10:11,107 --> 00:10:13,276
Okay, hold that stare.
There you go.

218
00:10:13,317 --> 00:10:16,070
look straight through his eyes
Hold it. Then,

219
00:10:16,112 --> 00:10:17,363
and deep into his soul.

220
00:10:17,405 --> 00:10:19,073
And then you move to Vermont.

221
00:10:19,115 --> 00:10:21,409
saying that fighting is gay.
I'm sick and tired of you

222
00:10:21,451 --> 00:10:23,953
You know, in boxing, you fight
for the purse and a belt.

223
00:10:23,994 --> 00:10:26,122
I've gotta write a paper
about that.
All right.

224
00:10:26,163 --> 00:10:27,998
I've seen enough. Let's see
what we're working with.

225
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,751
throw a few at the old paws.
Go ahead,

226
00:10:32,378 --> 00:10:34,213
A North Korean seamstress?
What are you?

227
00:10:34,255 --> 00:10:37,174
Not if that's bad.
Get mad, come on!

228
00:10:37,216 --> 00:10:39,260
as somebody who annoys you.
If it helps, think of me

229
00:10:41,053 --> 00:10:42,555
That's it. That's good.

230
00:10:42,597 --> 00:10:44,641
put your blouse back on.
Britta,

231
00:10:44,682 --> 00:10:46,976
Ohh! Ow!

232
00:10:47,017 --> 00:10:49,228
You gotta be ready for anything.
This is not a game.

233
00:10:49,270 --> 00:10:51,188
Dude, that is not cool.

234
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:52,982
Well, that foxy Black girl
thinks it is.

235
00:10:53,023 --> 00:10:54,776
Hm? Aah!

236
00:10:54,818 --> 00:10:57,153
Why she have to be Black?
What are you doing?

237
00:10:57,194 --> 00:10:58,947
What is going on?

238
00:10:58,988 --> 00:11:04,410
We're trying to get Jeff
ready for the fi-iiiight.

239
00:11:06,287 --> 00:11:08,247
I couldn't think
of another word.

240
00:11:08,289 --> 00:11:09,582
Idiot.

241
00:11:09,624 --> 00:11:11,375
He meant we were figh…

242
00:11:12,836 --> 00:11:15,463
…ting. It is hard to
think of another word.

243
00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:17,507
no other way for me to take this
You realize there's

244
00:11:17,548 --> 00:11:20,050
than as a giant middle finger
to the most important day
of the year.

245
00:11:20,092 --> 00:11:22,470
It's our Christmas.
December 10th?

246
00:11:22,512 --> 00:11:24,263
And I'm having a party.

247
00:11:24,305 --> 00:11:26,599
and my relatives picking sides,
Due to my divorce,

248
00:11:26,641 --> 00:11:29,602
this will be the only Christmas
party I throw this year.

249
00:11:29,644 --> 00:11:31,228
Will you be there

250
00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:34,524
or will I have another family
letting me down?

251
00:11:34,565 --> 00:11:36,400
I told him not to fight.

252
00:11:36,442 --> 00:11:38,695
He wouldn't listen.

253
00:11:38,736 --> 00:11:41,071
I don't know
what that is.

254
00:11:44,868 --> 00:11:48,287
Jeffrey, I have two boys.

255
00:11:48,329 --> 00:11:49,873
a serious discussion,
And when we have

256
00:11:49,914 --> 00:11:52,416
I find that a brownie
helps them to relax.

257
00:11:53,793 --> 00:11:56,546
hate me and Jesus?
So why do you

258
00:11:57,630 --> 00:11:59,215
my brownie's working.
I don't think

259
00:11:59,256 --> 00:12:02,844
on a day so important to me.
Don't do something so ugly

260
00:12:02,886 --> 00:12:05,346
Again, it's December 10th.

261
00:12:05,388 --> 00:12:07,264
You think religion is stupid.

262
00:12:07,306 --> 00:12:10,601
No, no. To me,
religion is like Paul Rudd.

263
00:12:10,643 --> 00:12:13,270
I see the appeal and would never
take it away from anyone,

264
00:12:13,312 --> 00:12:15,189
but I would also never
stand in line for it.

265
00:12:15,231 --> 00:12:16,900
And, look, Shirley,

266
00:12:16,941 --> 00:12:18,776
the die has been cast
with this crazy bully guy.

267
00:12:18,818 --> 00:12:21,946
He picked on Abed,
and he corrected my Spanish.

268
00:12:21,988 --> 00:12:24,156
So you go to your party
and I'll see you soon.

269
00:12:24,198 --> 00:12:27,284
Jeffrey, I forbid you
from fighting.

270
00:12:28,912 --> 00:12:30,705
Well, you don't get to.
You're not my mom.

271
00:12:30,747 --> 00:12:33,583
You're right, but if you
show up for the fight,

272
00:12:33,624 --> 00:12:35,501
don't show up for my party.

273
00:12:35,543 --> 00:12:37,253
Oh, come on, Shirley,
don't be mad.

274
00:12:37,294 --> 00:12:38,963
I'm disappointed.
I'm not mad,

275
00:12:39,005 --> 00:12:40,631
That's Mom for mad.

276
00:12:48,389 --> 00:12:51,642
and applesauce, that's nice.
Oh, hash browns

277
00:12:51,684 --> 00:12:54,478
Oh, what is that interesting
smell?

278
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,522
It's a traditional
Muslim dish.

279
00:12:56,564 --> 00:12:58,315
Looks delicious.

280
00:12:58,357 --> 00:13:01,069
I won't be allowed to eat that.
I'm guessing as a woman

281
00:13:01,109 --> 00:13:02,445
That's too bad.

282
00:13:04,030 --> 00:13:06,365
Oh, look, Britta brought
what she believes in.

283
00:13:06,407 --> 00:13:07,867
Nothing.

284
00:13:07,909 --> 00:13:09,827
my Buddha incense holder?
Where should I put

285
00:13:09,869 --> 00:13:11,662
I'm pretty sure
that's a bong.

286
00:13:13,163 --> 00:13:14,290
Where's Jeff?

287
00:13:16,751 --> 00:13:18,962
I guess he made his choice.

288
00:13:19,003 --> 00:13:21,881
I wanna go to Jeff's fight.
As I told Jeff,

289
00:13:21,923 --> 00:13:24,092
no one that goes to the fight
can come to my party.

290
00:13:24,132 --> 00:13:25,969
And if any of you leave
He's dead to me.

291
00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:27,553
you'll be dead to me too.

292
00:13:28,721 --> 00:13:30,098
Let's sing.

293
00:13:35,352 --> 00:13:36,479
Everybody.

294
00:13:38,606 --> 00:13:40,900
Come on, everybody.
You don't know it?

295
00:13:40,942 --> 00:13:43,111
You're banning Jeff
from the party?

296
00:13:43,151 --> 00:13:45,113
That doesn't seem
very Christian.

297
00:13:45,153 --> 00:13:47,448
Well, that's an interesting
point of view

298
00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:49,951
coming from an atheist.

299
00:13:49,993 --> 00:13:53,079
I did my best to create
a special Christmas

300
00:13:53,121 --> 00:13:55,331
for my one intact family.

301
00:13:55,372 --> 00:13:58,918
this is the thanks I get?
And, ahem,

302
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,295
Shirley, you are
a guilt machine.

303
00:14:01,337 --> 00:14:04,882
And Annie knows a thing or two
about guilt, am I right, Jew?

304
00:14:04,924 --> 00:14:06,968
Say the whole word.

305
00:14:07,927 --> 00:14:09,595
Jewie?

306
00:14:09,637 --> 00:14:11,055
You would never catch

307
00:14:11,097 --> 00:14:12,765
a Jehovah's Witness
saying "Jewie."

308
00:14:12,807 --> 00:14:15,309
Tell it to the birthday cake
you never got.

309
00:14:15,351 --> 00:14:17,145
an old Buddhist saying
in my vision group…
You know, there's

310
00:14:17,227 --> 00:14:19,689
You are not a Buddhist,
you are in a cult.

311
00:14:19,730 --> 00:14:21,149
Suck it, Nietzsche.

312
00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:23,359
Guys, everyone's faith is weird.

313
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,777
Let's just not talk about it.

314
00:14:31,617 --> 00:14:34,411
Guys, guys!
Guys, guys,

315
00:14:34,453 --> 00:14:37,540
are we really gonna let religion
divide us like this?

316
00:14:37,581 --> 00:14:39,792
I think there's one thing
we can all agree on.

317
00:14:39,834 --> 00:14:41,418
I get 72 virgins in heaven.

318
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,420
No. That we would all like

319
00:14:43,462 --> 00:14:45,089
to have Jeff at this party.

320
00:14:45,131 --> 00:14:48,051
Mm. He can't come. Mm-mm.
Shirley.

321
00:14:48,092 --> 00:14:50,970
Shirley, listen, I get that
this is your first Christmas

322
00:14:51,012 --> 00:14:53,347
since your husband left you.
And I don't know,

323
00:14:53,389 --> 00:14:55,183
you're being so stubborn,
maybe that's why

324
00:14:55,224 --> 00:14:58,144
because you're trying so hard
to recreate something

325
00:14:58,186 --> 00:15:00,104
that you've lost forever.
that you're afraid

326
00:15:00,146 --> 00:15:03,941
But if you really want us
to be your second family,

327
00:15:03,983 --> 00:15:06,318
then you've gotta start
treating us like one.

328
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,988
Even if that means
supporting us

329
00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:11,407
that you don't agree with.
when we do things

330
00:15:11,448 --> 00:15:14,493
by rooting for Jeff
And you can start

331
00:15:14,535 --> 00:15:18,247
while he rolls around on the
ground, groping another man.

332
00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:21,500
That's what I'm gonna do.

333
00:15:34,138 --> 00:15:36,766
has real cranberries.
The cranberry sauce

334
00:15:36,807 --> 00:15:38,684
Look, if this dude
doesn't show up,

335
00:15:38,726 --> 00:15:40,937
to Applebee's, all right?
we're definitely going

336
00:15:40,978 --> 00:15:42,980
Because I'm getting into a fight
no matter what today, dude,
I'm telling you.

337
00:15:45,524 --> 00:15:47,068
Oh, look who showed up.

338
00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:49,319
Oh, check him out. Ohh!

339
00:15:50,947 --> 00:15:52,656
What's up, dude?

340
00:15:52,698 --> 00:15:54,450
No backup today, huh?

341
00:15:54,491 --> 00:15:56,202
Looks like Grandpa and Weirdo
couldn't show up

342
00:15:56,244 --> 00:15:57,411
to get their teeth knocked out.

343
00:15:57,453 --> 00:15:59,329
Can I ask you a question?

344
00:15:59,371 --> 00:16:01,082
Are you perpetually on your way
to the gym?

345
00:16:01,124 --> 00:16:02,750
Dude, my life is a gym!

346
00:16:02,792 --> 00:16:05,253
What's up, man?
Well, what's up? What's up?

347
00:16:05,294 --> 00:16:07,088
What's up? What's up?
What's up? What's up?

348
00:16:07,130 --> 00:16:10,174
What's up? What's up?

349
00:16:11,801 --> 00:16:13,010
Whoa.

350
00:16:14,511 --> 00:16:17,514
Dude, what is that?
One sec, these are expensive.

351
00:16:18,724 --> 00:16:20,101
What is he doing?

352
00:16:21,644 --> 00:16:23,854
All right.

353
00:16:23,896 --> 00:16:25,439
Dude, you wear a bracelet?

354
00:16:30,653 --> 00:16:33,030
Your name is Mike, right?
So?

355
00:16:33,072 --> 00:16:35,950
Mike, I'm not gonna fight you.

356
00:16:35,992 --> 00:16:38,035
I have a friend that believes
this is the time of year

357
00:16:38,077 --> 00:16:40,370
differences and you make peace.
where you put aside your

358
00:16:40,412 --> 00:16:43,249
Me? I don't believe
in any of that,

359
00:16:43,291 --> 00:16:45,001
but I do believe
in friendship.

360
00:16:45,042 --> 00:16:47,878
And as much as I hate you
and the cast of Breakin',

361
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:51,799
I have to ask myself,
what would Shirley do?

362
00:16:53,050 --> 00:16:54,468
Oh, no.
What would Shirley do?

363
00:16:54,510 --> 00:16:58,889
I think that she would
shake your hand

364
00:16:58,931 --> 00:17:00,641
and wish you a Merry Christmas.

365
00:17:03,435 --> 00:17:05,395
Jeffrey.

366
00:17:05,437 --> 00:17:07,481
Kick his ass!

367
00:17:07,523 --> 00:17:09,817
Shirts off, boys.
Cavalry's here.

368
00:17:09,859 --> 00:17:11,443
I'm being punk'd, right?
Come on,

369
00:17:11,485 --> 00:17:13,529
Kick 'em. Come here.

370
00:17:40,806 --> 00:17:43,475
It's December 10th.
Please, it's Christmas.

371
00:17:43,517 --> 00:17:45,644
Ow!

372
00:17:45,686 --> 00:17:47,855
Not the moneymaker,
not the moneymaker.

373
00:17:47,897 --> 00:17:50,024
Ow! Ow! Ow!

374
00:17:54,653 --> 00:17:55,779
You're welcome.

375
00:18:43,953 --> 00:18:45,079
Yeah.

376
00:18:45,121 --> 00:18:46,330
Thank you.
Yeah.

377
00:18:46,372 --> 00:18:48,749
Thank you.
Yeah.

378
00:18:48,791 --> 00:18:52,086
Yes, it is I, Señor Chang.
Thank you, I get it.

379
00:18:52,128 --> 00:18:53,879
Shakira, hold this.

380
00:18:53,921 --> 00:18:58,592
So, I have finished grading
everyone's finals.

381
00:18:58,634 --> 00:19:01,971
And all of you
are moving on.

382
00:19:02,012 --> 00:19:03,889
Yes.
Yeah.

383
00:19:03,931 --> 00:19:05,891
Yes.
Yeah.

384
00:19:05,933 --> 00:19:08,811
Ha, ha. Except for Jeff.

385
00:19:08,852 --> 00:19:11,105
It turns out, you…
Oh.

386
00:19:11,147 --> 00:19:14,524
Pause for dramatic effect.

387
00:19:14,566 --> 00:19:16,902
will be seeing me
next semester.

388
00:19:16,944 --> 00:19:19,447
No!

389
00:19:19,488 --> 00:19:24,660
Because he passed, you know.
In Spanish 102, ha-ha-ha!

390
00:19:24,701 --> 00:19:26,162
And I'm the only
Spanish teacher.

391
00:19:26,203 --> 00:19:27,704
Yay!

392
00:19:27,746 --> 00:19:29,498
I meant about Jeff passing.

393
00:19:29,539 --> 00:19:32,709
You being our Spanish teacher,
eh.

394
00:19:33,836 --> 00:19:35,296
Whoa.

395
00:19:35,338 --> 00:19:36,588
Man, Mike got you good.

396
00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:39,258
Actually, that was
my present to Jeff.

397
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:42,136
I've got a mountain to shred.
Ha, ha. I don't care.

398
00:19:43,679 --> 00:19:47,516
Jeffrey, you're a man now.
How does it feel?

399
00:19:47,557 --> 00:19:49,059
I got hit in the face, like,
four times

400
00:19:49,101 --> 00:19:51,187
before you punched me.

401
00:19:51,228 --> 00:19:53,439
Well, some people just
don't know how to say thank you.

402
00:19:53,481 --> 00:19:55,858
Pierce, thank you.

403
00:19:58,486 --> 00:20:00,737
And thanks to all of you

404
00:20:00,779 --> 00:20:04,450
and having my back
for showing up

405
00:20:04,492 --> 00:20:06,952
those fly dancers.
when we fought

406
00:20:06,994 --> 00:20:08,829
So, uh…

407
00:20:08,871 --> 00:20:10,247
Ooh!

408
00:20:10,289 --> 00:20:13,917
No, no, no, holiday.
Merry…

409
00:20:13,959 --> 00:20:15,503
Actually, I was gonna say,

410
00:20:15,544 --> 00:20:18,172
and happy new one."
"Merry semester

411
00:20:21,050 --> 00:20:23,135
Switch, next glass.
Switch?

412
00:20:23,177 --> 00:20:25,388
Okay, he's running out.
He's running out.

413
00:20:37,607 --> 00:20:40,236
Thou canst give me ♪
d Much pleasure

414
00:20:42,446 --> 00:20:44,407
do stuff like this?
Why do you guys

415
00:20:44,448 --> 00:20:46,909
Because it's fun.
Yeah.

416
00:21:05,052 --> 00:21:07,221
Don't move.

417
00:21:07,263 --> 00:21:09,306
like special drink.
This nose smells