1
00:00:01,583 --> 00:00:06,380
From now on, we'll refer to each
other by our Spanish nombres.

2
00:00:06,380 --> 00:00:08,757
There will be…
What's this?

3
00:00:11,635 --> 00:00:13,094
It's okay, it's okay.
Do it.

4
00:00:22,855 --> 00:00:26,191
Buenos dias, Winger.

5
00:00:29,528 --> 00:00:31,572
Ah. Class dismissed.

6
00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:37,828
Hey.

7
00:00:37,828 --> 00:00:39,872
Shirley, look.

8
00:00:39,872 --> 00:00:41,498
I'm Annie's backpack.

9
00:00:41,498 --> 00:00:43,250
Stop it, Troy.

10
00:00:46,003 --> 00:00:50,758
Annie, say there are two friends
and they're in the same class,

11
00:00:50,758 --> 00:00:53,385
and one of them wants to ask
the other one out on a date.

12
00:00:53,385 --> 00:00:56,137
Like a grownup date,
but within biking distance

13
00:00:56,137 --> 00:00:58,891
of his parents' house.

14
00:00:58,891 --> 00:01:00,935
Well, they could do
something on campus.

15
00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:03,311
Tomorrow, there's a picnic
with live music

16
00:01:03,311 --> 00:01:04,813
on the east lawn.

17
00:01:04,813 --> 00:01:07,942
They're calling it
A Night Under The Stars.

18
00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:11,111
Cool. I bet Randi would
love that type of thing.

19
00:01:11,111 --> 00:01:14,114
Randi?
Oh, I thought…

20
00:01:14,114 --> 00:01:16,408
Oh. You thought…

21
00:01:16,408 --> 00:01:19,578
I can't believe I misled you
like that.

22
00:01:19,578 --> 00:01:21,580
Listen…

23
00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:24,666
Randi can be the name
of a guy or a girl.

24
00:01:24,666 --> 00:01:27,544
And in this case,
it is definitely a girl.

25
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:30,422
Thanks for your help.

26
00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:34,468
You're welcome.
And I hate you.

27
00:01:34,468 --> 00:01:36,344
And I wanna have
your children.

28
00:01:36,344 --> 00:01:38,931
Damn, I picked the wrong
couple to follow this morning.

29
00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:40,975
Jeff and Britta are dead air.

30
00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:42,434
Are you okay?

31
00:01:42,434 --> 00:01:44,979
It looks like you have actual
bed head this morning.

32
00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:47,731
In fashion, I'm what's known
as a tastemaker.

33
00:01:47,731 --> 00:01:50,067
And you missed an entire side
of your face shaving.

34
00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:52,569
And next month,
so will Gwen Stefani.

35
00:01:52,569 --> 00:01:54,154
Here comes Vaughn. Bye.

36
00:01:54,154 --> 00:01:56,531
Oh, crap.

37
00:01:56,531 --> 00:01:57,992
Vaughn? Vaughn.

38
00:01:57,992 --> 00:01:59,743
Oh, the guy with tiny nipples
you did it with.

39
00:01:59,743 --> 00:02:01,120
Oh, God.
Hi, Vaughn.

40
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,454
Can we talk sometime?

41
00:02:02,454 --> 00:02:04,289
I'm sorry
about how things ended.

42
00:02:04,289 --> 00:02:06,083
Well, I'm sorry
I can't accept your apology

43
00:02:06,083 --> 00:02:07,751
because you're toxic,
Britta.

44
00:02:07,751 --> 00:02:10,378
You know what?
You're like the exact opposite

45
00:02:10,378 --> 00:02:11,922
of an antioxidant.

46
00:02:11,922 --> 00:02:14,215
Yeah.
I got band practice.

47
00:02:14,215 --> 00:02:16,468
Lates.
Can't we still be friends?

48
00:02:16,468 --> 00:02:20,097
Isn't the word "later"
already short enough?

49
00:02:20,097 --> 00:02:22,182
Let me talk to him for you.

50
00:02:22,182 --> 00:02:23,767
It'll be better
if it's man-to-man.

51
00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:25,477
We won't be thinking
about our chubby thighs

52
00:02:25,477 --> 00:02:26,937
or whether or not
we can have babies.

53
00:02:26,937 --> 00:02:28,355
Don't talk to Vaughn.

54
00:02:28,355 --> 00:02:30,273
Your hormones
are clouding your…

55
00:02:30,273 --> 00:02:32,693
Don't talk to Vaughn.

56
00:02:35,654 --> 00:02:37,865
That is girl
for "talk to Vaughn."

57
00:03:01,638 --> 00:03:03,182
Ooh.

58
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:04,975
Sure you don't want
a piece of that?

59
00:03:04,975 --> 00:03:06,309
Shirley.

60
00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:10,355
What is he doing?

61
00:03:10,355 --> 00:03:12,440
Oh, I know exactly
what he's doing.

62
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,068
My ex-husband spent
four weeks doing that

63
00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:16,403
after his innocent mistake
of calling me Valerie.

64
00:03:17,654 --> 00:03:19,865
That boy is living in his car.

65
00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:29,166
I lived in my car for a stretch
in the '70s.

66
00:03:29,166 --> 00:03:30,667
Nothing like bedding a woman

67
00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:34,171
on the vinyl back seat
of a Skylark.

68
00:03:34,171 --> 00:03:35,505
Of course,
we didn't have the same

69
00:03:35,505 --> 00:03:38,050
safety standards
back then, so…

70
00:03:38,926 --> 00:03:40,552
No condoms.

71
00:03:40,552 --> 00:03:43,180
I tell you, before AIDS,
sex was like shaking hands.

72
00:03:43,180 --> 00:03:44,431
Hence, AIDS.

73
00:03:44,431 --> 00:03:45,766
Oh, Brittles,
I forgot to tell you.

74
00:03:45,766 --> 00:03:47,642
I went and talked to Vaughn.
What?

75
00:03:47,642 --> 00:03:50,062
Bad news is I could not patch up
things between you.

76
00:03:50,062 --> 00:03:51,730
You really
did a number on him.

77
00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:54,608
Good news is, I'm the new
keyboardist in his band.

78
00:03:54,608 --> 00:03:57,611
I asked you not to talk to him
and you completely ignored me.

79
00:03:57,611 --> 00:04:00,822
Hey, Tiny, you're missing the
headline. I'm in a rock band.

80
00:04:00,822 --> 00:04:03,200
I'd like to be there
when the band finds out.

81
00:04:07,454 --> 00:04:09,123
Oh, hi, Jeff.

82
00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:11,083
We were just talking
about how in today's economy…

83
00:04:11,083 --> 00:04:13,877
Mm-mm! Living in your car.
You are living in your car.

84
00:04:15,087 --> 00:04:17,965
Sorry, I'm not good
at being coy.

85
00:04:17,965 --> 00:04:19,800
I'm not living in my car.

86
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,052
I'm just sleeping in it
for a couple of days

87
00:04:22,052 --> 00:04:23,971
while I work out some problems
with my condo.

88
00:04:23,971 --> 00:04:27,307
It's a very temporary issue.
Gotta pay some meaningless fees.

89
00:04:27,307 --> 00:04:29,768
They'll put my locks back
on the door and that'll be that.

90
00:04:29,768 --> 00:04:31,770
How are you gonna
get the money?

91
00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:34,106
Believe me, kitten,
Winger's got moves.

92
00:04:34,106 --> 00:04:36,399
Jeff, do you need
a place to stay?

93
00:04:36,399 --> 00:04:39,278
I'd offer, but my dad's
kind of racist.

94
00:04:39,278 --> 00:04:41,571
Stay with me in the dorms.
My room has a bunk bed.

95
00:04:41,571 --> 00:04:43,157
A misnomer,
because it's the real deal.

96
00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:45,366
The next person that offers me
charity or pity

97
00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:48,369
will be mentioned by name
in my suicide note.

98
00:04:48,369 --> 00:04:49,871
Oh.

99
00:04:52,666 --> 00:04:54,459
Annie, Annie,

100
00:04:54,459 --> 00:04:56,503
thanks for your advice
about A Night Under the Stars.

101
00:04:56,503 --> 00:04:59,006
Of course.
Anytime, ever.

102
00:04:59,006 --> 00:05:01,382
Now I've just gotta figure out
what to bring to the picnic.

103
00:05:01,382 --> 00:05:04,427
This is my first college girl,
so I really wanna impress her.

104
00:05:04,427 --> 00:05:07,222
Would you mind helping me
shop for this stuff?

105
00:05:07,222 --> 00:05:08,807
I'd love to.
Really?

106
00:05:08,807 --> 00:05:10,684
Sure.
No.

107
00:05:10,684 --> 00:05:12,060
Thanks. Later.

108
00:05:12,060 --> 00:05:13,394
Bye.

109
00:05:15,563 --> 00:05:17,983
Hey.
Hey. Wanna see my place?

110
00:05:17,983 --> 00:05:20,735
I can see it from here.
Two girls are making out.

111
00:05:20,735 --> 00:05:23,488
No, my real place.

112
00:05:23,488 --> 00:05:24,823
Look at that.

113
00:05:24,823 --> 00:05:26,533
The condo board's
trying to bluff me

114
00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:27,951
by listing my place
as available.

115
00:05:27,951 --> 00:05:29,619
But look at those faucets.

116
00:05:29,619 --> 00:05:31,412
Handcrafted in Italy.

117
00:05:31,412 --> 00:05:33,414
One hundred percent expensive.

118
00:05:33,414 --> 00:05:35,042
Those faucets are beautiful.

119
00:05:35,042 --> 00:05:37,376
You know what they would
go great with? A home.

120
00:05:37,376 --> 00:05:38,795
Which you no longer have.

121
00:05:38,795 --> 00:05:40,547
You need to move on
with your life.

122
00:05:40,547 --> 00:05:43,967
Move on with my life?
Shmove shmon shmith shmy shfime.

123
00:05:43,967 --> 00:05:46,385
This condo is all
that's left of me.

124
00:05:46,385 --> 00:05:48,555
Every part of it
is a part of who I am.

125
00:05:48,555 --> 00:05:49,848
Is that a bidet?

126
00:05:49,848 --> 00:05:51,390
That part's for resale
value.

127
00:05:51,390 --> 00:05:53,560
And Saturday afternoons.

128
00:05:55,020 --> 00:05:57,105
You know,
downgrading your lifestyle

129
00:05:57,105 --> 00:05:59,191
is your chance
to grow as a person.

130
00:05:59,191 --> 00:06:00,859
Maybe even become one.

131
00:06:00,859 --> 00:06:02,903
You know, the less you have,
the more you can be.

132
00:06:02,903 --> 00:06:04,445
You know what I'm saying?

133
00:06:04,445 --> 00:06:07,406
There's a silver lining here,
isn't there?

134
00:06:07,406 --> 00:06:08,825
You're attracted to bums.

135
00:06:08,825 --> 00:06:10,244
Good night.
Come on.

136
00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:11,953
Why don't you have dinner
at my place?

137
00:06:11,953 --> 00:06:14,039
I got a hotplate that plugs
into a cigarette lighter.

138
00:06:14,039 --> 00:06:16,415
Yeah, but your kitchen's
being towed.

139
00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:20,503
Stop!
That's my house!

140
00:06:24,632 --> 00:06:27,426
Can I live with you?
Yeah, cool.

141
00:06:27,426 --> 00:06:30,222
Do you want top bunk
or bottom bunk?
Top.

142
00:06:30,222 --> 00:06:31,973
Me too.
Race you for it.

143
00:06:34,475 --> 00:06:35,769
I win.

144
00:06:42,441 --> 00:06:45,528
Look, I really need
to liquidate some assets.

145
00:06:45,528 --> 00:06:48,115
It's an emergency
situation.

146
00:06:48,115 --> 00:06:49,824
What kind of offer is that?

147
00:06:49,824 --> 00:06:51,868
These are mint-condition issues.

148
00:06:51,868 --> 00:06:53,452
I mean, the premise alone
is priceless.

149
00:06:53,452 --> 00:06:58,208
The guy has the powers
and strength of a spider.

150
00:06:58,208 --> 00:07:01,169
No, your incredulity
perplexes me, nerd.

151
00:07:03,838 --> 00:07:05,882
Did I say anything in my sleep
about farm animals

152
00:07:05,882 --> 00:07:07,217
or Brian Williams?

153
00:07:07,217 --> 00:07:09,261
I don't think so.
Cool.

154
00:07:09,261 --> 00:07:11,305
Cool, cool, cool.

155
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,348
Lucky Charms?

156
00:07:13,348 --> 00:07:16,059
How are you so satisfied
all the time, Abed?

157
00:07:16,059 --> 00:07:18,228
I mean, don't you ever want
anything more out of life

158
00:07:18,228 --> 00:07:20,105
than cereal?

159
00:07:20,105 --> 00:07:22,441
Sometimes I pour hot cocoa mix
into cold milk

160
00:07:22,441 --> 00:07:24,109
and drink it like
a cold hot chocolate.

161
00:07:24,109 --> 00:07:25,610
I call it special drink.

162
00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:29,197
Someday you will know it
by its true name, diabetes.

163
00:07:31,658 --> 00:07:33,368
You're Goldie Hawn, Jeff.

164
00:07:33,368 --> 00:07:35,620
I'm sorry?
You're Goldie Hawn.

165
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,456
Is it the lips?
No.

166
00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:39,499
In Overboard,
she was just like you.

167
00:07:39,499 --> 00:07:42,461
Wealthy, assertive, arrogant,
got manicures all the time.

168
00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:44,754
Then she fell off her boat
and it was good for her.

169
00:07:44,754 --> 00:07:46,547
Ultimately, she realized
she was happier poor,

170
00:07:46,547 --> 00:07:48,175
raising unruly boys
with Kurt Russell.

171
00:07:48,175 --> 00:07:50,927
Can I not be Kurt Russell?
Do whatever you want.

172
00:07:50,927 --> 00:07:53,263
You just have to know
what that is.

173
00:07:53,263 --> 00:07:57,017
For me, it's Lucky Charms
and TV.

174
00:08:00,270 --> 00:08:01,980
I could use a break.

175
00:08:04,107 --> 00:08:05,859
A picnic blanket.

176
00:08:05,859 --> 00:08:09,029
Genius. I was gonna
lay down newspaper.

177
00:08:09,029 --> 00:08:11,739
It's the blanket my grandmother
used to court my grandfather.

178
00:08:11,739 --> 00:08:15,035
Yeah?
That's pretty hot.

179
00:08:15,035 --> 00:08:16,911
Thanks.
Oh.

180
00:08:18,997 --> 00:08:21,541
Tell that boy how you feel.

181
00:08:21,541 --> 00:08:23,210
It's scary.

182
00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:25,962
If he's not interested,
I could lose the friendship too.

183
00:08:25,962 --> 00:08:28,256
You could.
Love is a gamble always,

184
00:08:28,256 --> 00:08:29,716
but waiting won't change
the dice.

185
00:08:29,716 --> 00:08:31,926
You either roll them
or you lose your turn.

186
00:08:31,926 --> 00:08:34,095
I'm going to roll them.
I am.

187
00:08:34,095 --> 00:08:36,390
I just… I need
a few more shakes.

188
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:40,101
Mm. Shake them
in your mind, okay?

189
00:08:40,101 --> 00:08:42,145
If you'll excuse me,
Pierce's band is playing.

190
00:08:42,145 --> 00:08:44,314
And I wanna record
the train wreck.

191
00:08:44,314 --> 00:08:46,858
Kind of hoping for
a Michael Richards situation.

192
00:08:46,858 --> 00:08:48,860
This is for you.

193
00:08:51,029 --> 00:08:54,032
Oh, they're pretty good.

194
00:08:54,032 --> 00:08:56,368
This isn't weird for you?
No.

195
00:08:56,368 --> 00:08:59,454
Wanna show Vaughn some support
to help smooth things over.

196
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,729
Take it, Pierce.

197
00:09:24,729 --> 00:09:26,022
Same as a 45-year-old,

198
00:09:26,022 --> 00:09:27,648
except he doesn't
get as tired.

199
00:09:30,944 --> 00:09:32,820
We can pick them
from the cream…

200
00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:34,448
Great to have somebody
to watch stuff with.

201
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:36,116
My dad never wanted
to watch anything,

202
00:09:36,116 --> 00:09:37,992
so I was raised by TV.

203
00:09:37,992 --> 00:09:40,036
TV's the best dad there is.

204
00:09:40,036 --> 00:09:41,662
TV never came home drunk.

205
00:09:41,662 --> 00:09:43,873
TV never forgot me
at the zoo.

206
00:09:43,873 --> 00:09:46,000
TV never abused
and insulted me.

207
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,211
Unless you count
Cop Rock.

208
00:09:48,211 --> 00:09:50,964
Cop Rock.
That sounds cool.

209
00:09:50,964 --> 00:09:52,757
Doesn't it?
Hey.

210
00:09:54,426 --> 00:09:56,010
Wow.

211
00:09:56,010 --> 00:09:59,639
You guys are really
dorming it up in here, huh?

212
00:09:59,639 --> 00:10:01,766
Yeah. In the last two days,
I've spent a quarter.

213
00:10:01,766 --> 00:10:03,310
We're having the time
of our lives.

214
00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:06,854
See?
Who needs platinum faucets?

215
00:10:06,854 --> 00:10:08,940
Do you guys even have
faucets in here?

216
00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:11,234
There's a communal bathroom
down the hallway.

217
00:10:11,234 --> 00:10:14,529
It actually helped me come
to terms with losing my condo.

218
00:10:14,529 --> 00:10:16,114
You don't sit on a toilet
like that

219
00:10:16,114 --> 00:10:18,116
until you've left
the material world behind.

220
00:10:19,242 --> 00:10:21,119
Pavel!
Hey, bros.

221
00:10:21,119 --> 00:10:22,579
This is Pavel.
He lives next door.

222
00:10:22,579 --> 00:10:24,747
He's from Poland.

223
00:10:24,747 --> 00:10:25,999
Britta?

224
00:10:29,252 --> 00:10:32,880
Excuse me. I have a future
murder victim to visit.

225
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,841
Cool.
Cool.

226
00:10:34,841 --> 00:10:36,593
Sorry?

227
00:10:50,023 --> 00:10:52,567
Guys, what the hell?
"Getting Rid of Britta"?

228
00:10:52,567 --> 00:10:54,735
That song was disrespectful
to me

229
00:10:54,735 --> 00:10:56,737
and to the definition
of rhyme scheme.

230
00:10:56,737 --> 00:10:58,865
Wow. If you don't
like my song,

231
00:10:58,865 --> 00:11:00,575
you don't have to listen,
all right?

232
00:11:00,575 --> 00:11:03,161
I'm an artist
and I write what I feel.

233
00:11:03,161 --> 00:11:05,664
And I feel that you suck.
Oh, oh.

234
00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:07,290
All right, hold on, Vaughn.

235
00:11:07,290 --> 00:11:09,000
Can I have a word with you?

236
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,798
Could you come here, please,
for a second?

237
00:11:19,427 --> 00:11:21,929
What did you just say to her?
I know Britta's your friend,

238
00:11:21,929 --> 00:11:23,931
but my song is more important.

239
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,019
Your song?
We wrote it together.

240
00:11:28,019 --> 00:11:29,521
Are you trying
to Garfunkel me?

241
00:11:29,521 --> 00:11:31,690
Maybe, assuming
to Garfunkel someone

242
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:33,274
is to
keep putting up with them

243
00:11:33,274 --> 00:11:34,859
even though
they're a fat, lazy cat

244
00:11:34,859 --> 00:11:37,278
who hogs the spotlight
and eats all the lasagna.

245
00:11:37,278 --> 00:11:38,863
I get it.
You're jealous of me.

246
00:11:38,863 --> 00:11:41,658
What? Why?

247
00:11:41,658 --> 00:11:44,160
Maybe because when I put on
these skinny jeans,

248
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,079
my ass looks like
a baby pumpkin.

249
00:11:46,079 --> 00:11:47,746
Or maybe because I'm not
a small-nippled,

250
00:11:47,746 --> 00:11:49,040
credit-hogging jag

251
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,667
who only knows
three power chords.

252
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:53,253
My band, my song.

253
00:11:55,296 --> 00:11:58,299
You want that, huh, Pierce?
How do you like that?

254
00:11:58,299 --> 00:11:59,967
I'm out!

255
00:11:59,967 --> 00:12:02,178
You get on that horse.

256
00:12:02,178 --> 00:12:03,597
Lates!

257
00:12:06,516 --> 00:12:10,144
Pierce, did you just defend
my honor?

258
00:12:10,144 --> 00:12:11,479
Huh?

259
00:12:12,771 --> 00:12:14,899
Oh, yeah. Totally.

260
00:12:14,899 --> 00:12:19,320
You'll light the candles
and you'll take a bite

261
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,282
and she'll take a bite
and you'll laugh.

262
00:12:23,991 --> 00:12:26,077
And you'll offer her
your letter jacket

263
00:12:26,077 --> 00:12:29,748
dafter you notice this funny way
she shakes when she gets cold.

264
00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:33,710
And she'll feel like
the luckiest girl in the world.

265
00:12:33,710 --> 00:12:35,169
Right.

266
00:12:37,046 --> 00:12:38,923
I couldn't have done this
without your help.

267
00:12:38,923 --> 00:12:40,799
You're really nice.

268
00:12:40,799 --> 00:12:43,720
We should've hung out more
in high school.

269
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,846
Remember when you pretended
to be my backpack?

270
00:12:45,846 --> 00:12:49,726
Oh. Yeah, yeah.

271
00:12:49,726 --> 00:12:51,227
I'm funny.

272
00:12:53,313 --> 00:12:55,273
All right. Ah.

273
00:12:55,273 --> 00:12:57,066
I gotta go get ready.

274
00:12:57,066 --> 00:12:59,193
Troy, wait.
I have to tell you.

275
00:13:05,199 --> 00:13:06,701
My appendix is bursting.

276
00:13:06,701 --> 00:13:10,037
What?
Yeah. Yeah.

277
00:13:10,037 --> 00:13:11,830
My appendix is bursting.

278
00:13:13,458 --> 00:13:15,168
Oh. Oh, no.

279
00:13:15,168 --> 00:13:18,421
Okay, two young students.

280
00:13:18,421 --> 00:13:20,757
I think I've been
to this dance before.

281
00:13:20,757 --> 00:13:22,634
You guys are sexual partners,
right?

282
00:13:23,968 --> 00:13:25,637
Us? No.

283
00:13:25,637 --> 00:13:28,264
No, he's my very good friend,
and I have appendicitis.

284
00:13:28,264 --> 00:13:29,599
Oh.

285
00:13:32,352 --> 00:13:34,521
Thanks for bringing me here.

286
00:13:34,521 --> 00:13:37,106
Guess I ruined your date, huh?
Okay.

287
00:13:37,106 --> 00:13:39,651
Doesn't seem to be
anything wrong with you.

288
00:13:39,651 --> 00:13:41,986
Cool. I'll see you.

289
00:13:44,447 --> 00:13:45,990
God. Where does it hurt?

290
00:13:45,990 --> 00:13:47,367
Everywhere.

291
00:13:47,367 --> 00:13:48,827
We have to quarantine you.

292
00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:50,620
We gotta get you
to a safe distance.

293
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:52,079
My date's on the east lawn.

294
00:13:52,079 --> 00:13:53,956
East lawn, perfect.
Great.

295
00:13:53,956 --> 00:13:55,874
Wait, wait.
This is a date?

296
00:13:55,874 --> 00:13:57,168
Yeah, you need these.

297
00:13:57,168 --> 00:14:00,630
Nice.
I'll be thinking of you.

298
00:14:00,630 --> 00:14:02,131
Okay, I need to go.

299
00:14:02,131 --> 00:14:03,633
No, we…

300
00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:06,010
We have to observe you
overnight. It's policy.

301
00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:08,137
We don't want another
Vanessa Parsons on our hands.

302
00:14:08,137 --> 00:14:11,474
She was the Typhoid Mary
of herpes.

303
00:14:11,474 --> 00:14:14,394
I'm kind of the Hawkeye
around here,

304
00:14:14,394 --> 00:14:16,688
so it's kind of a…

305
00:14:16,688 --> 00:14:18,189
Are you seeing anybody?

306
00:14:22,151 --> 00:14:23,944
You guys weren't
in Spanish class.

307
00:14:23,944 --> 00:14:25,488
Knight Rider
marathon.

308
00:14:25,488 --> 00:14:27,073
The shadowy flight
into the world of a man

309
00:14:27,073 --> 00:14:28,742
who does not exist.

310
00:14:34,372 --> 00:14:36,583
Britta, may I have a word?

311
00:14:40,002 --> 00:14:41,462
Has this always been here?

312
00:14:41,462 --> 00:14:43,005
You need to take Jeff back.

313
00:14:43,005 --> 00:14:45,633
Never had him,
don't want him, especially now.

314
00:14:45,633 --> 00:14:48,177
He's got a real
Phil Spector vibe going.

315
00:14:48,177 --> 00:14:49,804
He's like E.T.

316
00:14:49,804 --> 00:14:51,848
He crashed in my place
and we're friends now,

317
00:14:51,848 --> 00:14:54,058
which is great for me,
but bad for him.

318
00:14:54,058 --> 00:14:57,144
He needs to get back.
What am I supposed to do?

319
00:14:57,144 --> 00:15:00,106
Use your lady parts.
Abed.

320
00:15:00,106 --> 00:15:01,775
Don't be naive.
The charge between you two

321
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,443
is keeping him going.

322
00:15:03,443 --> 00:15:05,445
Tell him you'll make love to him
if he takes a shower

323
00:15:05,445 --> 00:15:06,905
and finds a nice place to live.

324
00:15:06,905 --> 00:15:09,574
I'm heading back.
Pavel's making babka.

325
00:15:09,574 --> 00:15:11,868
Do it, Britta.
Seduce him.

326
00:15:11,868 --> 00:15:14,412
Draw the tapeworm of Jeff's
old self out with the milk

327
00:15:14,412 --> 00:15:16,497
that is your sexuality.
No.

328
00:15:17,707 --> 00:15:19,584
Then say goodbye to E.T.

329
00:15:21,961 --> 00:15:23,379
Abed, it's open.

330
00:15:27,508 --> 00:15:31,345
And your wife is married
to an idiot.

331
00:15:31,345 --> 00:15:33,306
What's wrong now, woman?

332
00:15:33,306 --> 00:15:34,766
You.

333
00:15:34,766 --> 00:15:38,144
You can't see further
than them…

334
00:15:38,144 --> 00:15:40,939
What are you doing?
That was The Jeffersons, honky.

335
00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:42,106
I was wrong, okay?

336
00:15:42,106 --> 00:15:44,525
Material possessions
are important.

337
00:15:44,525 --> 00:15:46,235
Think how much happier
the Jeffersons were

338
00:15:46,235 --> 00:15:48,028
than that family on Good Times.

339
00:15:48,028 --> 00:15:51,324
Yeah, but they had good times.
Do good times really matter?

340
00:15:51,324 --> 00:15:54,076
What about good cars,
good lobster?

341
00:15:54,076 --> 00:15:56,245
What about that sport

342
00:15:56,245 --> 00:15:58,247
where the British people
ride the horses

343
00:15:58,247 --> 00:15:59,833
with the really long hammers?

344
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:02,126
Jeez, you are way out
of your element here.

345
00:16:02,126 --> 00:16:03,586
Yes, and I do not believe
a single word

346
00:16:03,586 --> 00:16:06,172
I am saying for me.
But for you?

347
00:16:06,172 --> 00:16:07,632
Maybe you're one of those
rare people

348
00:16:07,632 --> 00:16:09,425
with nothing underneath
the surface.

349
00:16:09,425 --> 00:16:12,094
Maybe if you put stain remover
on a turd,

350
00:16:12,094 --> 00:16:13,554
you don't get a diamond.

351
00:16:13,554 --> 00:16:16,599
You just get a turd
with less direction in life.

352
00:16:16,599 --> 00:16:19,059
Thanks, coach.
Can you turn the TV back on?

353
00:16:25,399 --> 00:16:28,987
Faucets.
Italian faucets. Handcrafted.

354
00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:30,697
These look like…

355
00:16:30,697 --> 00:16:32,573
Wait.

356
00:16:32,573 --> 00:16:34,575
I made this notch

357
00:16:34,575 --> 00:16:37,161
to indicate
optimal cleansing temperature

358
00:16:37,161 --> 00:16:39,455
for combination skin.

359
00:16:39,455 --> 00:16:40,915
These were mine?

360
00:16:40,915 --> 00:16:43,417
For a fancy condo,
you've got awful security.

361
00:16:43,417 --> 00:16:45,879
Install those in a new apartment
so that every day,

362
00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:48,214
when you're spending way
too much time on your hair,

363
00:16:48,214 --> 00:16:49,716
you can look down and think:

364
00:16:49,716 --> 00:16:53,720
"I was a huge phony before.
I can do it again."

365
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,221
Yeah.

366
00:16:57,598 --> 00:17:00,810
You're into me.
I beg your unbelievable pardon?

367
00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:02,436
Look at all this work

368
00:17:02,436 --> 00:17:05,773
you're doing
just to have me around again.

369
00:17:05,773 --> 00:17:08,484
You were more attracted to me
than you were willing to admit.

370
00:17:08,484 --> 00:17:11,988
I was doing this all for Abed.
You are the worst.

371
00:17:11,988 --> 00:17:13,990
Yeah, clearly.

372
00:17:19,620 --> 00:17:22,749
Sorry. Ahem.

373
00:17:22,749 --> 00:17:24,458
I want you to know
I haven't changed my mind

374
00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:26,126
about the band.
I'm out.

375
00:17:26,126 --> 00:17:28,796
We wanna recognize
a couple of sponsors.

376
00:17:28,796 --> 00:17:30,590
First off is Anderson Septic.

377
00:17:30,590 --> 00:17:33,551
Also, do me a favor, will you?
Lay off Britta.

378
00:17:33,551 --> 00:17:36,345
I mean, she may walk
like she just got off a horse,

379
00:17:36,345 --> 00:17:41,141
but underneath all that clown
makeup, she's a good kid.

380
00:17:41,141 --> 00:17:43,352
Mm-hm. No worries, man.

381
00:17:44,771 --> 00:17:46,856
I've moved on.

382
00:17:46,856 --> 00:17:49,776
Lates.
Lates, okay.

383
00:17:49,776 --> 00:17:51,027
Snakes. What…?

384
00:17:51,027 --> 00:17:52,737
Greendale!

385
00:18:13,132 --> 00:18:15,384
Yeah, you heard me say it.

386
00:18:21,223 --> 00:18:22,683
No!

387
00:18:24,769 --> 00:18:27,772
Before you two proceed,
I have one thing to say.

388
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:34,570
Did you say it already?

389
00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:36,530
I want my nana's
blanket back.

390
00:18:38,407 --> 00:18:40,034
Do you guys mind?

391
00:18:40,034 --> 00:18:41,786
Could you scoot over?

392
00:18:41,786 --> 00:18:43,537
It's an heirloom.
I want it.

393
00:18:45,957 --> 00:18:49,251
Thank you.
Have a nice date.

394
00:18:52,463 --> 00:18:54,173
I don't care what you think.

395
00:18:54,173 --> 00:18:55,842
For me, that was huge.

396
00:18:55,842 --> 00:18:59,261
I know, sweetie.
Let's go find you some pants.

397
00:18:59,261 --> 00:19:01,722
Okay?
Yeah, cool, thanks.

398
00:19:12,191 --> 00:19:15,153
Hey, look what the cat
dragged out and licked clean.

399
00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:16,863
I saw how much
you missed me,

400
00:19:16,863 --> 00:19:19,573
and smelled what happens
to Pavel on cabbage night,

401
00:19:19,573 --> 00:19:22,660
and realized the world
was better off with me in it.

402
00:19:24,620 --> 00:19:26,246
Thanks.

403
00:19:26,246 --> 00:19:29,416
For caring.

404
00:19:30,459 --> 00:19:32,753
Hey.

405
00:19:32,753 --> 00:19:34,714
You looked like
you moved out.

406
00:19:34,714 --> 00:19:37,383
I checked into a motel
and I'm looking for apartments.

407
00:19:39,635 --> 00:19:42,055
You would've been fine
with me staying forever?

408
00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:43,681
Yup.

409
00:19:43,681 --> 00:19:46,100
You're pretty cool, Abed.
You're a huge nerd.

410
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:47,643
Thanks.

411
00:19:55,693 --> 00:19:58,196
I'm Pierce.
Yeah, song's about me.

412
00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:04,994
Yeah!
Yeah!

413
00:20:04,994 --> 00:20:06,204
Come on, sing it for me.

414
00:20:13,169 --> 00:20:14,545
Yeah, he is.

415
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:24,013
Ow!

416
00:20:24,013 --> 00:20:28,475
We are Some Worries!
Good night, Greendale!

417
00:20:58,589 --> 00:21:01,550
Uh-huh. Well played, Pierce.

418
00:21:01,550 --> 00:21:03,010
This isn't over.