1 00:00:06,869 --> 00:00:08,566 Another cold brew? 2 00:00:08,602 --> 00:00:11,105 Don't mind if I "cold do." Nailed it. 3 00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:13,243 I am loving this machine that Charles brought in. 4 00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:16,486 It is nice. The trick is to let the coffee warm up to room temperature. 5 00:00:16,522 --> 00:00:17,575 I'm already on my second cup. 6 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:18,750 This is my third. 7 00:00:18,793 --> 00:00:21,013 Stop! 8 00:00:21,057 --> 00:00:23,581 You're drinking too much! 9 00:00:23,836 --> 00:00:26,230 Whoa, what's going on, Charles? Why are you talking so slow? 10 00:00:26,266 --> 00:00:28,673 I'm not. I'm normal. 11 00:00:28,716 --> 00:00:31,328 We're all normal. 12 00:00:36,632 --> 00:00:38,216 If you're not going slow, that means we're going fast. 13 00:00:38,252 --> 00:00:39,433 Are we going fast? Can anyone tell if we're going fast? 14 00:00:39,469 --> 00:00:40,948 I don't think we're going fast at all in any way whatsoever. 15 00:00:40,984 --> 00:00:42,303 I feel like we're going slow in every way whatsoever. 16 00:00:42,339 --> 00:00:43,635 - Captain, how do you feel? - Great. Excellent. Amazing. 17 00:00:43,671 --> 00:00:44,976 I feel better than I've ever felt at any moment 18 00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:46,021 - in my entire life. - So we're all fine? 19 00:00:46,057 --> 00:00:47,406 Yep. 20 00:01:05,026 --> 00:01:09,026 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 21 00:01:10,586 --> 00:01:12,870 Hey there, Captain. Oh, is this your new assistant? 22 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,059 John Urblan. Nice to meet ya. 23 00:01:14,095 --> 00:01:15,786 And John Urblan has just been fired. 24 00:01:15,822 --> 00:01:16,805 - What? - I have? 25 00:01:16,841 --> 00:01:18,671 Meet "ya"? You just abbreviated 26 00:01:18,707 --> 00:01:20,056 a one-syllable word. 27 00:01:20,092 --> 00:01:21,180 - Is this for real? - Yes. 28 00:01:21,216 --> 00:01:22,724 Now clean out your "des." 29 00:01:23,379 --> 00:01:25,164 I removed the K so you'd understand 30 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,202 how absurd "ya" sound. 31 00:01:27,238 --> 00:01:29,631 Oh, boy. Sorry, John Urblan. Bye. 32 00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:31,969 Okay, sir, so that is the third assistant 33 00:01:32,005 --> 00:01:33,441 you've fired in three days. 34 00:01:33,477 --> 00:01:35,392 Because all the candidates are garbage. 35 00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,778 Microsoft Word is not a special skill, 36 00:01:37,814 --> 00:01:39,468 Marcie Lux from South Orange. 37 00:01:39,504 --> 00:01:41,637 Come on, look at the size of that stack of résumés. 38 00:01:41,673 --> 00:01:43,153 There's got to be someone good. 39 00:01:43,189 --> 00:01:44,974 Oh, yes, perhaps I should keep an open mind. 40 00:01:45,010 --> 00:01:47,752 Perhaps cross-country skiing is a valuable skill 41 00:01:47,788 --> 00:01:50,791 in an office environment, Marcie Lux of South Orange. 42 00:01:50,827 --> 00:01:52,481 Okay, so we can agree Marcie Lux is out of the mix. 43 00:01:52,517 --> 00:01:53,653 Well, they all are. 44 00:01:53,689 --> 00:01:55,032 I'll just make do with no assistant. 45 00:01:55,068 --> 00:01:56,450 No, don't just give up. 46 00:01:56,486 --> 00:01:58,098 Maybe you haven't found the right person yet. 47 00:01:58,252 --> 00:01:59,915 I found Gina. Maybe I could try. 48 00:01:59,951 --> 00:02:02,168 Okay. I suppose it's worth a shot. 49 00:02:02,204 --> 00:02:03,713 I can always fire whoever you choose. 50 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,011 Yeah, that's the spirit. 51 00:02:05,047 --> 00:02:07,789 Commence Operation: Nasty. 52 00:02:07,825 --> 00:02:10,875 New Assistant Selection Team... 53 00:02:11,617 --> 00:02:12,744 You. 54 00:02:12,780 --> 00:02:14,533 New Assistant Selection Team You? 55 00:02:14,576 --> 00:02:15,537 Yeah, don't worry about it. 56 00:02:15,573 --> 00:02:16,791 Everyone will just call it Nasty. 57 00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:17,925 You don't have to turn everything 58 00:02:17,961 --> 00:02:19,354 into a Thomas Cruise film. 59 00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:20,608 Why not? Movies are super fun. 60 00:02:20,644 --> 00:02:22,113 Meanwhile, real life is very boring. 61 00:02:22,149 --> 00:02:23,505 That's why no one watches documentaries. 62 00:02:23,541 --> 00:02:24,890 Tell that to the man sitting next to me 63 00:02:24,926 --> 00:02:26,493 at last Saturday afternoon's screening 64 00:02:26,529 --> 00:02:29,165 of "Ryuichi Sakamoto: Coda." 65 00:02:29,201 --> 00:02:30,415 Was that man Kevin? 66 00:02:31,843 --> 00:02:32,852 - Yes. - All right, 67 00:02:32,888 --> 00:02:34,368 I'm gonna help you find a new assistant. 68 00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:36,276 Nasty is a go! 69 00:02:36,445 --> 00:02:37,968 Hey, can I talk to you guys? 70 00:02:38,004 --> 00:02:40,441 Ugh, you're not selling those crapola candy bars 71 00:02:40,477 --> 00:02:42,148 for your daughters' doomed basketball team again, are you? 72 00:02:42,184 --> 00:02:43,142 - Doomed? - Yeah. 73 00:02:43,178 --> 00:02:45,279 - They're terrible and you know it. - Well, I'm not selling candy. 74 00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:47,569 That's next week. Please bring cash. 75 00:02:47,605 --> 00:02:49,836 What I want to talk about is how our office 76 00:02:49,872 --> 00:02:51,159 has turned into a junkyard. 77 00:02:51,195 --> 00:02:52,962 Yeah, you know, this place is a mess. 78 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,597 I mean, it's like an episode of "Hoarders." 79 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:55,791 And not one of the funny ones, 80 00:02:55,835 --> 00:02:57,097 where they find a bunch of flat cats. 81 00:02:57,140 --> 00:03:00,056 The problem is, Commissioner Kelly is never gonna reopen the first floor. 82 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,491 We should just fire some of the uniforms. 83 00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:03,508 But not you. Uh, we couldn't survive 84 00:03:03,544 --> 00:03:05,154 without you, Greg, and... 85 00:03:05,409 --> 00:03:06,367 also Greg? 86 00:03:06,410 --> 00:03:07,398 James and Michael. 87 00:03:07,434 --> 00:03:08,957 No one is getting fired. 88 00:03:08,993 --> 00:03:10,603 We just need to organize this place. 89 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:13,119 Nah, do what I do. Embrace the mess. 90 00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:15,065 You've got a bagel stuck to your sweater. 91 00:03:15,101 --> 00:03:16,885 Look, I don't want to sound like a Scully here, 92 00:03:16,921 --> 00:03:18,531 but I think it's hopeless. 93 00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:20,419 Nobody could organize this place. 94 00:03:20,650 --> 00:03:22,347 - Nobody? - Here's what I need. 95 00:03:22,383 --> 00:03:24,152 Sticky notes, three sizes, ten colors. 96 00:03:24,188 --> 00:03:25,668 Permanent markers, clickable only. 97 00:03:25,704 --> 00:03:26,923 I don't want caps slowing us down. 98 00:03:26,959 --> 00:03:28,744 And I need garbage bags, 33 gallon, 99 00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:29,852 blackout, cinch top. 100 00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:31,411 What are you all still doing here? 101 00:03:31,447 --> 00:03:32,779 Go, go, go! 102 00:03:33,571 --> 00:03:34,895 Captain Holt, 103 00:03:35,140 --> 00:03:37,534 I'd like to introduce you to your new assistant. 104 00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:38,749 Drumroll, please. 105 00:03:43,459 --> 00:03:45,330 - That's your drumroll? - When a tempo isn't specified, 106 00:03:45,366 --> 00:03:47,281 any reasonable person would default to lento. 107 00:03:47,317 --> 00:03:49,357 Well, it's terrible, and you ruined a fun thing, 108 00:03:49,393 --> 00:03:51,080 but I would still like to introduce you 109 00:03:51,116 --> 00:03:52,931 to Mr. Gordon Lundt! 110 00:03:54,821 --> 00:03:56,232 Mr. Gordon Lundt! 111 00:03:57,984 --> 00:03:59,094 Gordon, you want to come in here? 112 00:03:59,130 --> 00:04:00,356 Oh, I'm so sorry. 113 00:04:00,392 --> 00:04:02,387 I was just deciding whether I should just go home. 114 00:04:02,423 --> 00:04:04,294 The tone and tenor of your introduction 115 00:04:04,338 --> 00:04:06,296 make me worry that this is a "fun" office, 116 00:04:06,340 --> 00:04:07,907 which I would not enjoy. 117 00:04:07,950 --> 00:04:08,929 Ehh? 118 00:04:08,965 --> 00:04:10,532 Hello, I'm Captain Raymond Holt, 119 00:04:10,568 --> 00:04:13,135 and I can assure you, this is not a fun office. 120 00:04:13,347 --> 00:04:14,490 Thank goodness. 121 00:04:14,526 --> 00:04:17,054 In that case, my interest is renewed. 122 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,425 - Here is my résumé. - Oh, I'm feeling this. 123 00:04:19,461 --> 00:04:20,940 Are you guys feeling this? Gordon, why don't you 124 00:04:20,976 --> 00:04:22,586 tell Captain Holt a little bit about yourself? 125 00:04:22,622 --> 00:04:24,885 Where to begin? I'm 174 centimeters tall, 126 00:04:24,921 --> 00:04:26,706 I can type 103 words per minute 127 00:04:26,742 --> 00:04:29,153 with an error rate of 1.6%, 128 00:04:29,189 --> 00:04:30,958 and I recently moved here from Philadelphia, 129 00:04:30,994 --> 00:04:33,003 which is the sixth most populous U.S. city. 130 00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:34,345 I understand the city of Philadelphia 131 00:04:34,381 --> 00:04:36,296 is coterminous with Philadelphia County, 132 00:04:36,332 --> 00:04:39,424 making it the eighth-largest metropolitan statistical area. 133 00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:41,418 Yeah, Philly's cool. Isn't it fun 134 00:04:41,462 --> 00:04:43,204 - just telling each other facts? - Yes. 135 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,161 Well, I think I have all the information I need. 136 00:04:45,205 --> 00:04:46,206 Thank you for coming in, Mr. Lundt. 137 00:04:46,249 --> 00:04:47,069 My pleasure. 138 00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:49,190 So... 139 00:04:49,226 --> 00:04:51,692 looks like Operation: Nasty is a full-on success, huh? 140 00:04:51,728 --> 00:04:54,249 You mean Operation: Nasty Sex Slut. 141 00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:56,284 Didn't you see him flirting with me? 142 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:57,625 No, I most definitely did not. 143 00:04:57,661 --> 00:04:59,467 Then you're a blind man and a prude to boot. 144 00:04:59,503 --> 00:05:00,939 Did you see his tie? A single Windsor. 145 00:05:00,975 --> 00:05:02,995 The easiest knot to undo. 146 00:05:03,031 --> 00:05:04,314 Why bother wearing any clothes at all? 147 00:05:04,350 --> 00:05:06,176 I think you badly misread that interaction. 148 00:05:06,212 --> 00:05:08,823 Please. He did everything but lick his lips and purr. 149 00:05:08,944 --> 00:05:10,032 Get rid of him, and bring me someone 150 00:05:10,068 --> 00:05:11,809 who can keep it in their slacks. 151 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,281 Did someone say to take off our slacks? 152 00:05:13,317 --> 00:05:14,824 No, not even close. 153 00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:16,384 Oh. Well, keep me posted. 154 00:05:16,420 --> 00:05:17,530 My dogs are barkin'. 155 00:05:18,984 --> 00:05:20,381 What dogs? 156 00:05:21,133 --> 00:05:23,373 Okay, Marie Kondo came up with a system 157 00:05:23,417 --> 00:05:25,724 to unclutter your life. You look at an object, 158 00:05:25,767 --> 00:05:26,979 and if it doesn't bring you joy, 159 00:05:27,015 --> 00:05:28,651 you throw it away. Try it, Sarge. 160 00:05:28,908 --> 00:05:30,424 Hello, backup pair of suspenders. 161 00:05:30,467 --> 00:05:31,597 Do you bring me joy? 162 00:05:31,633 --> 00:05:33,669 Yes, because you have tab endings 163 00:05:33,705 --> 00:05:35,010 and a sweet leather yoke. 164 00:05:35,046 --> 00:05:36,528 I'm so glad you're in my life. 165 00:05:36,774 --> 00:05:38,421 - I guess I'm keeping 'em. - Ooh, let me try. 166 00:05:38,457 --> 00:05:40,762 Hello, bag of old dried mushrooms. 167 00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,887 Do you bring me joy? Yes! 168 00:05:42,923 --> 00:05:46,579 You provide rich, earthy flavor to both soups and teas. 169 00:05:46,615 --> 00:05:48,530 I guess I'm keeping mine too. This is fun. 170 00:05:48,566 --> 00:05:49,741 Guys, you can't keep everything. 171 00:05:49,777 --> 00:05:51,213 That defeats the purpose. 172 00:05:51,412 --> 00:05:53,676 I got this, Ames. Hello, unsolved case. 173 00:05:53,712 --> 00:05:54,913 Do you bring me joy? 174 00:05:54,997 --> 00:05:57,252 No, because you're boring and you're too hard. See ya. 175 00:05:57,776 --> 00:05:59,711 Personal items only, Scully. 176 00:05:59,747 --> 00:06:01,183 Get that case out of the trash. 177 00:06:01,219 --> 00:06:02,915 Oh, for Pete's sake. 178 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,807 Sir, we need to talk about Gordon Lundt, 179 00:06:05,851 --> 00:06:06,955 and before you ask, 180 00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:08,533 - I have not fired him. - Yes, I noticed. 181 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,614 He's been strutting around like a peacock, 182 00:06:10,650 --> 00:06:12,565 trying desperately to arouse me, 183 00:06:12,601 --> 00:06:14,560 his unwilling peahen. 184 00:06:14,911 --> 00:06:16,434 Did you hear there's a barrel-making exhibit 185 00:06:16,470 --> 00:06:17,789 at the Brooklyn Museum of Industry? 186 00:06:17,825 --> 00:06:18,808 Yes. 187 00:06:20,966 --> 00:06:22,751 Has he no shame? The door was open. 188 00:06:22,787 --> 00:06:24,137 I think he wanted people to hear. 189 00:06:24,173 --> 00:06:25,435 Yeah, well, I didn't fire him 190 00:06:25,479 --> 00:06:26,785 because I thought you were being crazy 191 00:06:26,828 --> 00:06:28,134 and I wanted to change your mind, 192 00:06:28,177 --> 00:06:29,822 so I called all the places he used to work. 193 00:06:29,858 --> 00:06:31,362 You didn't do that before you brought him in? 194 00:06:31,398 --> 00:06:32,921 What? No, you check references 195 00:06:32,965 --> 00:06:34,569 after there's a problem. That's hiring 101. 196 00:06:34,605 --> 00:06:37,956 Anyways, it turns out he never worked at the Philadelphia PD. 197 00:06:37,992 --> 00:06:40,995 So he's a liar and a hussy? Why is he still here? 198 00:06:41,031 --> 00:06:43,729 Because I started thinking, why would he lie? 199 00:06:43,765 --> 00:06:45,172 And the answer is: 200 00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,817 because he's a spy, planted here 201 00:06:47,853 --> 00:06:49,419 by Commissioner Kelly. Think about it. 202 00:06:49,455 --> 00:06:51,500 You've been rounding up all the captains who oppose him. 203 00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,097 Kelly wants those names. 204 00:06:53,133 --> 00:06:55,091 Gordon was sent here to seduce you. 205 00:06:55,187 --> 00:06:57,058 - He's a red sparrow. - You mean a honeypot. 206 00:06:57,094 --> 00:06:58,878 Potato, tomato, but yes. 207 00:06:58,914 --> 00:07:01,051 He is the world's most boring sex spy, 208 00:07:01,415 --> 00:07:03,256 and he's here to infiltrate the Nine-Nine. 209 00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,440 No, this is just you 210 00:07:04,476 --> 00:07:06,093 still trying to make everything into a movie. 211 00:07:06,129 --> 00:07:07,870 This is the real world, Peralta. 212 00:07:07,906 --> 00:07:09,541 There are no spies in our midst. 213 00:07:09,577 --> 00:07:11,971 I'm sure Gordon just lied on his résumé to get a job. 214 00:07:12,007 --> 00:07:15,207 Oh, really? Then how come he's in this old staff photo 215 00:07:15,705 --> 00:07:17,054 from the Three-Six? 216 00:07:17,090 --> 00:07:18,265 Kelly's old precinct? 217 00:07:18,575 --> 00:07:20,743 You're right. Gordon's a honeypot. 218 00:07:20,779 --> 00:07:21,832 Or a red sparrow. 219 00:07:21,868 --> 00:07:23,522 Buzz, buzz, little bee. 220 00:07:23,581 --> 00:07:24,800 Fly, bird, fly. 221 00:07:24,836 --> 00:07:26,011 - Buzz. - Fly. 222 00:07:26,047 --> 00:07:27,091 - Buzz. - Fly. 223 00:07:27,127 --> 00:07:29,738 - Buzz. - Fly. 224 00:07:30,109 --> 00:07:32,198 The point is, we're on the same page. He's a spy. 225 00:07:33,808 --> 00:07:35,492 Hey, Hitchcock. 226 00:07:35,528 --> 00:07:37,307 God, you scared me. I've got a razor. 227 00:07:37,343 --> 00:07:38,595 Sorry. I need the bathroom. 228 00:07:38,631 --> 00:07:40,311 Fine, but you're lucky I didn't cut myself. 229 00:07:40,347 --> 00:07:42,175 Yep, sure am. 230 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:43,865 Have a good one, buddy. 231 00:07:45,220 --> 00:07:46,431 - Any poopers? - None. 232 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,042 What is this? Why are we meeting in the bathroom? 233 00:07:48,078 --> 00:07:49,593 Super cool meeting spot. 234 00:07:49,629 --> 00:07:51,762 Don't roll your eyes at me, Daria. 235 00:07:51,798 --> 00:07:53,670 Commissioner Kelly sent a spy into our midst. 236 00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:55,665 This is happening. We need to talk about our plan. 237 00:07:55,701 --> 00:07:57,845 Okay, here it is. I'm going to fire him. 238 00:07:57,881 --> 00:07:59,154 You can't do that. 239 00:07:59,190 --> 00:08:01,765 In a movie, when you find out someone's a spy, you don't fire them. 240 00:08:01,801 --> 00:08:03,194 You can either have them murdered... 241 00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:05,101 - Not an option. - Yeah, I know, we're cops. 242 00:08:05,137 --> 00:08:06,740 Blah, blah. No one likes this side of you. 243 00:08:06,776 --> 00:08:08,544 Or we can launch a counter-spying mission. 244 00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:10,277 I just want him out of the Nine-Nine. 245 00:08:10,313 --> 00:08:12,228 If we can prove that Kelly sent a spy 246 00:08:12,264 --> 00:08:14,484 into one of his own precincts to seduce a captain, 247 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,261 it's gonna look really bad for him. 248 00:08:16,297 --> 00:08:18,374 - And how will we prove that? - With Operation: Dragon. 249 00:08:18,523 --> 00:08:21,480 Don't Reveal Anything, Gordon's Our Nemesis. 250 00:08:22,344 --> 00:08:24,237 - No. - I worked so hard on that acronym. 251 00:08:24,273 --> 00:08:26,348 You're not even going to acknowledge it? All right, look, 252 00:08:26,392 --> 00:08:27,610 if Kelly's been communicating with Gordon, 253 00:08:27,646 --> 00:08:28,955 there has to be evidence on his laptop. 254 00:08:28,991 --> 00:08:30,775 Yeah, but he doesn't leave his computer unattended. 255 00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:33,145 It's always in his bag, which he always has on his person. 256 00:08:33,181 --> 00:08:34,313 How do you know that? 257 00:08:34,356 --> 00:08:35,488 I've glanced at his work satchel. 258 00:08:35,531 --> 00:08:37,359 I'm married, but I'm still a man. 259 00:08:37,395 --> 00:08:39,135 Choosing to ignore that. Now, if there were only 260 00:08:39,171 --> 00:08:41,420 some place where they make you check your bag, 261 00:08:41,502 --> 00:08:44,810 like an airport, or even a museum? 262 00:08:45,017 --> 00:08:46,715 No. I couldn't. 263 00:08:46,751 --> 00:08:47,839 Couldn't you? 264 00:08:48,109 --> 00:08:49,371 Mr. Lundt, would you like to go 265 00:08:49,415 --> 00:08:50,723 to the barrel-making exhibit this evening? 266 00:08:50,759 --> 00:08:52,766 Yes, Captain Holt. I could make time for that. 267 00:08:54,420 --> 00:08:55,791 I need a shower. 268 00:08:57,680 --> 00:09:00,121 Okay, I went through my desk and got rid of everything 269 00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:01,252 that didn't give me joy. 270 00:09:01,296 --> 00:09:02,384 You didn't get rid of anything. 271 00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:03,529 Because it all gives me joy. 272 00:09:03,565 --> 00:09:05,050 Picture of Nikolaj, joy. 273 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,883 Cocktail napkin from my first date with Genevieve, joy. 274 00:09:08,143 --> 00:09:10,319 Birthday card from my urologist, joy. 275 00:09:10,355 --> 00:09:12,009 He was the only doctor of my entire 276 00:09:12,045 --> 00:09:13,699 urethral support staff who remembered. 277 00:09:13,735 --> 00:09:16,303 All right, I don't think Marie Kondo's gonna work here. 278 00:09:16,339 --> 00:09:17,905 We need something stronger. 279 00:09:18,507 --> 00:09:21,298 The Norwegian system: Munkensmat. 280 00:09:21,334 --> 00:09:22,944 It was designed by a radical group 281 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:24,373 of Scandinavian organizers 282 00:09:24,409 --> 00:09:25,758 who are doing things with cubbies 283 00:09:25,794 --> 00:09:27,909 that would blow your minds. 284 00:09:27,945 --> 00:09:29,356 We need to Munkensmat. 285 00:09:29,392 --> 00:09:30,979 - "Munkensmat"? - Sexy, right? 286 00:09:31,015 --> 00:09:34,177 In Munkensmat, you get rid of all personal possessions 287 00:09:34,213 --> 00:09:36,282 - except one. - I can't do that. 288 00:09:36,318 --> 00:09:37,754 What, I'm just supposed to get rid 289 00:09:37,790 --> 00:09:39,433 of my great-grandfather's shoes? 290 00:09:39,828 --> 00:09:42,048 He had one baby foot. This is cruel. 291 00:09:42,084 --> 00:09:44,895 Munkensmat isn't cruel. It's freeing. 292 00:09:44,931 --> 00:09:47,804 When you cling to these things, you cling to the past, 293 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,218 and you don't leave room for new experiences. 294 00:09:50,254 --> 00:09:51,974 Okay, what one thing should I keep? 295 00:09:52,188 --> 00:09:53,928 Hatchet or Blu-ray of "The Intern"? 296 00:09:53,964 --> 00:09:55,227 You can always watch "The Intern" online. 297 00:09:55,263 --> 00:09:56,569 Not the extras. 298 00:09:56,612 --> 00:09:58,222 There's a virtual tour of Jules's kitchen. 299 00:09:58,266 --> 00:09:59,324 Monster. 300 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,101 Well, Sarge, what's it gonna be, 301 00:10:01,137 --> 00:10:02,965 pictures of your kids or those suspenders? 302 00:10:03,001 --> 00:10:04,829 Terry can't throw his family away, 303 00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:07,477 but these are nice suspenders. 304 00:10:07,513 --> 00:10:09,080 Are they special in some kind of way? 305 00:10:09,116 --> 00:10:11,075 Damn, Amy, I told you about the leather yoke! 306 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,028 Terry, you're clinging. 307 00:10:13,731 --> 00:10:15,820 - Munkensmat. - My turn. 308 00:10:15,856 --> 00:10:17,162 It's between my seizure medication 309 00:10:17,198 --> 00:10:18,711 and this fidget spinner. 310 00:10:19,505 --> 00:10:20,954 I think I made the right call. 311 00:10:21,709 --> 00:10:23,846 Uh-oh. I forgot that it lit up. 312 00:10:24,810 --> 00:10:26,247 I've made a terrible mistake. 313 00:10:28,557 --> 00:10:29,881 Look at that. 314 00:10:29,917 --> 00:10:31,734 They put the sherry barrels right up front. 315 00:10:31,778 --> 00:10:34,407 Ugh. I hate it when museums pander to the tourists. 316 00:10:34,443 --> 00:10:36,347 Oh, I think you need to check your bag, Gordon. 317 00:10:36,391 --> 00:10:38,507 It's a small price to pay to make sure the barrels are protected. 318 00:10:38,543 --> 00:10:39,929 My thoughts exactly. 319 00:10:40,743 --> 00:10:42,528 - The package is headed your way. - Copy that. 320 00:10:42,571 --> 00:10:45,705 This better work. I'm debasing myself out here. 321 00:10:45,748 --> 00:10:47,576 - What must people think? - Relax. 322 00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:49,841 There's literally no other people at this museum. 323 00:10:51,495 --> 00:10:54,588 Thank you very much. Here is $100. Pleasure doing business with you. 324 00:10:54,624 --> 00:10:56,017 You know, you could have just stolen the bag, 325 00:10:56,053 --> 00:10:57,054 and wouldn't have noticed or cared. 326 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,831 Ugh. Be better, Yanya. 327 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,442 - Okay. - Yanya! 328 00:11:02,548 --> 00:11:04,375 Okay, sir, I am cloning the hard drive. 329 00:11:04,419 --> 00:11:06,160 You should only have to distract him for... 330 00:11:06,203 --> 00:11:08,379 three hours? Good Lord. 331 00:11:08,423 --> 00:11:10,338 Do you think that you can talk about barrels for three hours? 332 00:11:10,381 --> 00:11:11,455 Watch me. 333 00:11:11,579 --> 00:11:15,474 Ah, Gordon, take a gander at this brine barrel from 1787. 334 00:11:15,517 --> 00:11:16,997 It looks to me like the work 335 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,853 of master hooper Josiah Wooldruff, 336 00:11:18,889 --> 00:11:21,610 who learned the craft from his father Jesiah Wooldruff, 337 00:11:21,654 --> 00:11:23,133 who in turn learned it from his. 338 00:11:23,177 --> 00:11:24,613 I'm already so bored. 339 00:11:24,657 --> 00:11:26,746 The slats are not flat. They're curved. 340 00:11:26,789 --> 00:11:28,574 The base of the barrel is approximately 20... 341 00:11:28,617 --> 00:11:30,706 Every barrel is inspected before usage. 342 00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:32,971 The key is that the oak was cured and shaped 343 00:11:33,007 --> 00:11:34,878 by Josiah's cousin Joshua, 344 00:11:34,914 --> 00:11:36,959 who was a cooper and not a hooper. 345 00:11:36,995 --> 00:11:38,910 Wait, are you still at the same barrel? 346 00:11:38,946 --> 00:11:40,383 Please move on to another one. 347 00:11:40,419 --> 00:11:41,986 There are so many barrels in there. 348 00:11:42,022 --> 00:11:44,175 You know what? Let's look at that barrel. 349 00:11:44,211 --> 00:11:46,344 - Oh, thank God. - It's a brine barrel as well. 350 00:11:46,380 --> 00:11:48,120 It was also made in the 1780s. 351 00:11:48,156 --> 00:11:50,506 In fact, it's identical to the last barrel. 352 00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:52,326 Let's review why that's interesting. 353 00:11:52,362 --> 00:11:54,842 No! 354 00:11:54,878 --> 00:11:56,923 Having each selected our one item, 355 00:11:56,959 --> 00:11:59,048 we move on to stage two, cleansing. 356 00:11:59,084 --> 00:12:00,782 In Munkensmat, you don't just throw away 357 00:12:00,818 --> 00:12:01,993 your discarded belongings. 358 00:12:02,029 --> 00:12:03,573 - You incinerate them. - What? 359 00:12:03,609 --> 00:12:05,088 Can't we just donate this stuff? 360 00:12:05,132 --> 00:12:06,508 So you can go to Goodwill after work 361 00:12:06,544 --> 00:12:08,606 and buy back those suspenders you're so attached to? 362 00:12:09,205 --> 00:12:11,599 - No. - Now, in true Munkensmat, 363 00:12:11,635 --> 00:12:13,749 you pile all of your belongings on a raft, 364 00:12:13,793 --> 00:12:15,358 push it out to the icy sea, 365 00:12:15,394 --> 00:12:17,526 and set fire to it with a flaming arrow. 366 00:12:17,711 --> 00:12:19,669 But since we obviously don't have an archer... 367 00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:21,802 I'm an archer. I have like six bows in my car. 368 00:12:21,877 --> 00:12:22,878 Really? 369 00:12:26,044 --> 00:12:27,063 Launch. 370 00:12:31,245 --> 00:12:32,970 Oh, Munkensmat. 371 00:12:33,006 --> 00:12:34,094 Munkensmat. 372 00:12:34,130 --> 00:12:35,784 Munkensmat! 373 00:12:37,037 --> 00:12:38,778 Have you reviewed the contents of Gordon's computer? 374 00:12:38,814 --> 00:12:39,902 Did you find anything? 375 00:12:39,938 --> 00:12:42,854 Uh, well, hem, haw... 376 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,512 Are you literally saying "hem" and "haw"? 377 00:12:44,548 --> 00:12:46,288 Look, I haven't found anything, okay? 378 00:12:46,324 --> 00:12:48,631 Not a single email between Kelly and Gordon. 379 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:51,191 So I whored myself out at that museum for nothing. 380 00:12:51,227 --> 00:12:53,447 Not entirely for nothing. You know? We had fun. 381 00:12:53,483 --> 00:12:55,964 Sneaking around, bribing people, lying, stealing stuff. 382 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,349 Coming home and having my husband ask me 383 00:12:57,385 --> 00:12:58,691 why I smelled like barrels? 384 00:12:58,727 --> 00:13:00,207 Seriously? What did you say? 385 00:13:00,243 --> 00:13:01,462 I told him everything. He understood, 386 00:13:01,498 --> 00:13:03,456 until I showed him a picture of Gordon. 387 00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:06,906 The thought of me at a museum with that ten? 388 00:13:06,942 --> 00:13:08,543 He banished me to the guest room. 389 00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:09,849 Captain Holt, are you in there? 390 00:13:09,892 --> 00:13:11,502 Oh, no, it's him. What does he want? 391 00:13:11,546 --> 00:13:12,503 Do you think he knows something happened 392 00:13:12,547 --> 00:13:13,853 at the Barrel Museum? 393 00:13:13,896 --> 00:13:15,328 I wanted to talk to you about something 394 00:13:15,364 --> 00:13:16,452 that happened at the Barrel Museum. 395 00:13:16,488 --> 00:13:18,020 I think he knows. This is bad! 396 00:13:18,056 --> 00:13:20,260 Well, the longer we talk, the more suspicious it seems. 397 00:13:20,296 --> 00:13:22,000 - Tell him to come in. - Come in! 398 00:13:24,777 --> 00:13:26,779 Oh. I prefer to discuss this matter in private. 399 00:13:26,822 --> 00:13:28,302 Anything you have to say to me, you can say 400 00:13:28,345 --> 00:13:29,434 - in front of Peralta. - Very well. 401 00:13:29,623 --> 00:13:30,972 I've been sent here to spy on you. 402 00:13:31,008 --> 00:13:33,488 What? I am truly shocked. 403 00:13:33,524 --> 00:13:34,917 We are both shocked. 404 00:13:34,961 --> 00:13:36,397 Commissioner Kelly knows you're recruiting 405 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:37,746 a team of captains to oppose him. 406 00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:39,199 He asked me to find out who they are. 407 00:13:39,501 --> 00:13:41,328 But I've decided I won't help him. 408 00:13:41,364 --> 00:13:42,801 - Why not? - Because... 409 00:13:42,837 --> 00:13:44,312 I've fallen in love with you. 410 00:13:44,361 --> 00:13:46,007 What? 411 00:13:46,043 --> 00:13:48,132 That is truly shocking. 412 00:13:48,168 --> 00:13:49,644 For real this time. What? 413 00:13:50,510 --> 00:13:52,080 The plan was for me to weaken your defenses 414 00:13:52,116 --> 00:13:53,380 with my brazen sexuality. 415 00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:54,722 I wouldn't say "brazen" 416 00:13:54,758 --> 00:13:56,195 so much as "completely undetectable." 417 00:13:56,231 --> 00:13:57,518 I couldn't have been more obvious. 418 00:13:57,554 --> 00:13:59,269 I wore a single Windsor knot. 419 00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:00,785 I might as well have a sign around my neck 420 00:14:00,821 --> 00:14:02,127 that reads "DTF." 421 00:14:02,163 --> 00:14:03,737 "Desiring Thorough Fornication." 422 00:14:03,773 --> 00:14:04,733 - Nope. - Exactly. 423 00:14:04,769 --> 00:14:05,770 - Oh. - At first, the flirting 424 00:14:05,806 --> 00:14:06,950 was just part of the ruse. 425 00:14:06,994 --> 00:14:07,995 It meant nothing to me. 426 00:14:08,038 --> 00:14:09,683 But then the Barrel Museum. 427 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:11,433 - I fell hard. - Not surprising. 428 00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:13,217 It is an erotically charged atmosphere. 429 00:14:13,261 --> 00:14:14,474 The curve of the slats, 430 00:14:14,510 --> 00:14:16,425 the rivets, the bilge, the bunghole. 431 00:14:16,461 --> 00:14:18,358 Okay, I am actually starting to hear the sex talk now. 432 00:14:18,394 --> 00:14:19,787 The bunghole is the least erotic part of the barrel. 433 00:14:19,823 --> 00:14:21,259 - It's simply functional. - Sure. 434 00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:22,680 Sure, sure, sure, sure. Bunghole. Continue. 435 00:14:22,716 --> 00:14:24,544 Captain, I know nothing could ever happen between us, 436 00:14:24,580 --> 00:14:27,035 but I care about you too much to do Kelly's dirty work, 437 00:14:27,071 --> 00:14:28,594 which is why I'm tendering my resignation. 438 00:14:28,630 --> 00:14:30,022 That's very honorable. I accept. 439 00:14:30,058 --> 00:14:32,277 Oh, no, you don't. This could be our chance. 440 00:14:32,313 --> 00:14:34,924 We can turn Kelly's agent into a double agent. 441 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,744 Double Dragon. 442 00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:38,259 Oh, it's all starting to happen. 443 00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:41,124 I don't want to play these movie spy games, Peralta. 444 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:43,534 - It could backfire. - Or it could front-fire. 445 00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:44,415 - What? - It worked. 446 00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,010 Gordon, do you have any hard proof 447 00:14:46,046 --> 00:14:47,570 - that Kelly sent you here? - Nothing in writing. 448 00:14:47,606 --> 00:14:48,781 We only communicate in person. 449 00:14:48,817 --> 00:14:50,253 Okay, so you call Kelly, 450 00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:52,074 arrange for a meeting, then you wear a wire, 451 00:14:52,110 --> 00:14:53,895 and we have tape of the commissioner 452 00:14:53,931 --> 00:14:55,441 admitting that he's spying on one of his captains. 453 00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,907 It could work, but I could never put Gordon in that position. 454 00:14:57,943 --> 00:14:59,248 I would do anything for you, Captain Holt. 455 00:14:59,284 --> 00:15:01,324 Thank you. And you can call me Raymond. 456 00:15:01,503 --> 00:15:02,939 Captain Raymond Holt. 457 00:15:02,975 --> 00:15:04,434 I don't think that's such a good idea. 458 00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:05,862 You're right, too much. 459 00:15:06,109 --> 00:15:07,110 That should never have happened. 460 00:15:07,146 --> 00:15:08,750 - Agreed. - Wait, what? 461 00:15:08,786 --> 00:15:10,966 Did something just happen? I've been standing here the whole time. 462 00:15:11,002 --> 00:15:12,189 What did I miss? 463 00:15:12,790 --> 00:15:13,884 What did I miss? 464 00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:15,845 What did I miss? 465 00:15:16,209 --> 00:15:18,282 Hey, can I take a couple photos of your desk? 466 00:15:18,326 --> 00:15:20,328 I want to submit them to "Organizers Quarterly." 467 00:15:20,371 --> 00:15:21,416 - What? - There's a magazine 468 00:15:21,459 --> 00:15:22,880 - about organizing? - Yeah. 469 00:15:22,916 --> 00:15:24,918 I want to be featured as Organizer of the Month. 470 00:15:24,954 --> 00:15:26,521 Just imagine, me on the cover 471 00:15:26,557 --> 00:15:28,804 with tons of scarves lying around. 472 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,363 I'm holding them up like, 473 00:15:30,399 --> 00:15:33,252 "This is too many scarves. We got to do something!" 474 00:15:33,685 --> 00:15:34,744 Okay. 475 00:15:35,952 --> 00:15:38,128 Ooh, now can you open the drawers? 476 00:15:38,172 --> 00:15:39,521 If you want to get featured, you got to show them 477 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,001 what's under the skirt, know what I mean? 478 00:15:41,044 --> 00:15:43,394 Uh, no, there are case files in here. 479 00:15:43,438 --> 00:15:45,527 I don't want any sensitive info to get out. 480 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:46,963 I'll blur the personal stuff. 481 00:15:47,007 --> 00:15:49,006 Come on, this is the money shot. 482 00:15:50,967 --> 00:15:52,273 Seriously, Terry? 483 00:15:52,316 --> 00:15:54,144 You didn't throw out the suspenders? 484 00:15:54,188 --> 00:15:56,054 What? That's not fair. 485 00:15:56,171 --> 00:15:58,496 I had to throw out Great Grandpa Ellen's bitty shoe! 486 00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,411 Why are you even holding on to these? 487 00:16:00,455 --> 00:16:02,326 - I've never seen you wear them. - I haven't. 488 00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:04,851 I saw them at the store, and they're obviously way better 489 00:16:04,894 --> 00:16:05,932 than my normal suspenders. 490 00:16:05,968 --> 00:16:07,622 - Are they? - Yeah! 491 00:16:07,658 --> 00:16:09,224 Tab endings, leather yoke. 492 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,740 I can't keep describing them. 493 00:16:10,776 --> 00:16:13,241 - All right, calm down. - I'm sorry. 494 00:16:13,559 --> 00:16:15,779 I bought them right before I took the lieutenant's exam. 495 00:16:16,032 --> 00:16:18,393 I was gonna wear them on my first day as a lieutenant, 496 00:16:18,429 --> 00:16:20,170 but then I failed the test. 497 00:16:20,214 --> 00:16:22,825 I thought I'd keep them just in case I ever pass it, 498 00:16:22,869 --> 00:16:25,228 but I'll be honest. 499 00:16:25,674 --> 00:16:27,032 That's never gonna happen. 500 00:16:28,468 --> 00:16:29,665 I'll just throw them out. 501 00:16:29,936 --> 00:16:32,281 There. You can take your photo now. 502 00:16:37,986 --> 00:16:39,425 The deadline's tomorrow. 503 00:16:40,365 --> 00:16:41,889 We're just listening from afar. 504 00:16:41,925 --> 00:16:43,231 Do we really need to be in disguise? 505 00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:45,052 Yes, Carmine. Yes, we do. 506 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:48,048 Oh, I forgot to tell you. Your cover is Carmine Frunch. 507 00:16:48,084 --> 00:16:49,825 You have emphysema, and your best friend is your pet bird. 508 00:16:49,861 --> 00:16:51,427 I'm not sure I like this persona. 509 00:16:51,463 --> 00:16:53,160 Well, if you make it too cool, it's not believable. 510 00:16:53,196 --> 00:16:55,111 By the way, my name is Jackson Fox. 511 00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:56,366 I'm an NBA player, 512 00:16:56,402 --> 00:16:57,839 and LeBron James is my best friend. 513 00:16:57,875 --> 00:16:59,038 Oh, here comes Kelly. 514 00:16:59,617 --> 00:17:01,434 So, Mr. Lundt. Good to see you. 515 00:17:01,619 --> 00:17:02,954 What's all this about? 516 00:17:02,990 --> 00:17:04,388 Captain Holt and the Nine-Nine. 517 00:17:04,432 --> 00:17:05,943 That's it, Gordon. Lure him in. 518 00:17:05,979 --> 00:17:07,764 He's plotting against you with a group of captains. 519 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,760 I'm only here because he asked me to help him entrap you. 520 00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:13,016 - What is happening? - He's triple-crossing us. 521 00:17:13,052 --> 00:17:15,098 Holt is listening in from that surveillance vehicle. 522 00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:16,875 Hey, Gordon, can you still hear me? 523 00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:19,304 - Yes. - You are blowing this, man! 524 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,126 Oh, hi, Raymond. Good to see you. 525 00:17:23,162 --> 00:17:24,816 - Pull up a chair. - Cut the crap. 526 00:17:24,852 --> 00:17:27,852 Stop masking your evil with a candy cane smile. 527 00:17:27,888 --> 00:17:29,498 Ooh, I love candy canes. 528 00:17:29,534 --> 00:17:31,188 Everyone loves candy canes, John Kelly. 529 00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:32,660 Now admit you sent in this boring bastard 530 00:17:32,696 --> 00:17:34,002 to honeypot Holt. 531 00:17:34,038 --> 00:17:35,257 It feels like you two are the spies 532 00:17:35,293 --> 00:17:37,469 based on your disguises, et cetera. 533 00:17:37,505 --> 00:17:39,681 Nuh-uh. This is who we actually are. 534 00:17:39,894 --> 00:17:41,244 A professional basketball player 535 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,108 and a guy with a bird friend. 536 00:17:43,144 --> 00:17:45,102 Oh, it's not just about disguises. 537 00:17:45,138 --> 00:17:47,792 Everything that you recorded on your wire 538 00:17:47,828 --> 00:17:51,397 clearly indicates that I was the one being spied on. 539 00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:52,941 - Ow. - Case closed. 540 00:17:52,977 --> 00:17:54,081 Pretty cool, huh? 541 00:17:54,117 --> 00:17:55,770 I can't wait to play that tape for the mayor. 542 00:17:55,806 --> 00:17:57,582 You are gonna look so bad, Raymond. 543 00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:58,576 You're never gonna get away with this, Kelly. 544 00:17:58,619 --> 00:17:59,812 Oh, I already have. 545 00:17:59,848 --> 00:18:01,284 Worked out better than I expected. 546 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,713 I just sent Lundt in to find out which captains 547 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,881 you'd rallied against me, and then you decided 548 00:18:05,917 --> 00:18:09,355 you wanted to bug the commissioner of the NYPD. 549 00:18:09,391 --> 00:18:11,784 Somebody shot themselves in the foot. 550 00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:13,166 Hey, do me a favor. 551 00:18:13,202 --> 00:18:15,639 Put your resignation on my desk in the morning. 552 00:18:15,675 --> 00:18:17,112 I'm so sorry, sir. This is all my fault. 553 00:18:17,148 --> 00:18:18,933 Double Dragon was a debacle. 554 00:18:18,969 --> 00:18:20,797 Yes, it was. 555 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:24,533 If only someone had thought to plan a backup operation. 556 00:18:24,810 --> 00:18:27,030 - Did you do something cool? - I did something very cool. 557 00:18:27,066 --> 00:18:28,720 While I was banished to the guest room, 558 00:18:28,756 --> 00:18:30,366 I flipped across one of those Thomas Cruise films 559 00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:33,071 on Home Box Office, and I realized something. 560 00:18:33,107 --> 00:18:36,980 On a spy mission, there's always another twist. 561 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,536 - What are you saying? - I'm saying I knew 562 00:18:38,572 --> 00:18:40,487 you would triple-cross our double-cross, 563 00:18:40,531 --> 00:18:43,316 so I planted a microphone in the napkin holder. 564 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:44,620 There's one in the flowerpot. 565 00:18:44,656 --> 00:18:46,701 Ketchup, mustard. There are mics in both. 566 00:18:46,737 --> 00:18:48,260 - Where? - In the tips. 567 00:18:48,296 --> 00:18:50,274 Oh, this is so great. Where else are there mics? 568 00:18:50,310 --> 00:18:51,355 - Nowhere. - Oh. 569 00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:54,089 But there are cameras! 570 00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:56,083 There's a camera, there's a camera, 571 00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:57,729 and there's a camera. 572 00:18:57,765 --> 00:18:59,557 I've got you on tape, Kelly. You're screwed. 573 00:18:59,593 --> 00:19:01,552 The only thing that's gonna be on your desk in the morning 574 00:19:01,595 --> 00:19:03,057 is a list of my demands. 575 00:19:03,093 --> 00:19:05,051 Triple Dragon is complete. 576 00:19:05,087 --> 00:19:07,567 - You named it. - Not only did I name it, 577 00:19:07,603 --> 00:19:09,909 Triple Dragon is an acronym. 578 00:19:09,990 --> 00:19:11,383 Two Righteous Individuals 579 00:19:11,419 --> 00:19:13,528 Performing Law Enforcement Directives Rapidly 580 00:19:13,564 --> 00:19:16,001 Against Gordon Our Nemesis. Triple Dragon! 581 00:19:16,044 --> 00:19:17,567 This is the best thing that's ever happened! 582 00:19:18,993 --> 00:19:20,587 I mean, not for you, obviously. 583 00:19:20,697 --> 00:19:22,055 It's bad for you. 584 00:19:22,612 --> 00:19:25,006 What is all this junk on my desk? 585 00:19:25,285 --> 00:19:26,950 It's not very Munkensmat. 586 00:19:26,986 --> 00:19:29,144 They're study materials for the lieutenant's exam. 587 00:19:29,180 --> 00:19:30,268 You can't give up. 588 00:19:30,304 --> 00:19:31,364 You're gonna take the exam again, 589 00:19:31,408 --> 00:19:32,496 you're gonna ace it, 590 00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,193 and then you're gonna wear these. 591 00:19:34,236 --> 00:19:35,455 My lieutenant suspenders. 592 00:19:35,499 --> 00:19:36,740 You fished them out of the trash. 593 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,821 No, they were covered in precinct goo, 594 00:19:38,857 --> 00:19:40,032 but I got you a new pair, 595 00:19:40,068 --> 00:19:41,616 - leather yoke and all. - Aw. 596 00:19:41,652 --> 00:19:43,127 Some things are worth clinging to. 597 00:19:43,163 --> 00:19:44,120 I was wrong. 598 00:19:44,156 --> 00:19:45,331 Or Niles Bunkampf, 599 00:19:45,367 --> 00:19:47,413 the inventor of Munkensmat, was wrong. 600 00:19:47,449 --> 00:19:49,639 - Yeah, that guy's an idiot. - Was an idiot. 601 00:19:49,833 --> 00:19:52,385 He got rid of all his objects, including his clothes, 602 00:19:52,429 --> 00:19:53,604 and froze to death in a snowdrift. 603 00:19:53,647 --> 00:19:55,083 Why didn't you tell us that 604 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:56,236 before we burned all our treasures? 605 00:19:56,272 --> 00:19:58,391 Eight framed photos of my dad, up in flames. 606 00:19:58,435 --> 00:19:59,958 So does this mean we can start 607 00:20:00,001 --> 00:20:01,263 keeping personal objects in the office again? 608 00:20:01,307 --> 00:20:03,166 Yes, on one condition. 609 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,247 No one tells Bruce from "Organizers Quarterly." 610 00:20:05,283 --> 00:20:07,850 I'm definitely not gonna reach out to Bruce. 611 00:20:07,886 --> 00:20:09,670 Oh, thank you. 612 00:20:09,706 --> 00:20:10,924 You're a good friend. 613 00:20:13,823 --> 00:20:15,582 Ah, good morning, Captain Holt. 614 00:20:15,626 --> 00:20:16,779 You're looking refreshed. 615 00:20:16,815 --> 00:20:18,730 Interesting. I didn't sleep a wink. 616 00:20:18,766 --> 00:20:21,812 Let's just say Kevin no longer has me in the guest room. 617 00:20:21,848 --> 00:20:25,600 Nice. My two dads, straight smashin' it. 618 00:20:26,010 --> 00:20:28,160 Sorry, that came out weird. Title of your sex tape. 619 00:20:28,203 --> 00:20:30,118 But more importantly, how did it go with Commissioner Kelly? 620 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:31,685 I gave him a list of my demands, 621 00:20:31,729 --> 00:20:33,872 and he's agreed to back off of vigilant policing. 622 00:20:33,908 --> 00:20:35,823 - Whoa, that's amazing. - But that's not all. 623 00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:37,558 I also got something for the precinct. 624 00:20:37,594 --> 00:20:39,580 Is it a fighter jet? How did you get a fighter jet? 625 00:20:39,616 --> 00:20:40,940 We don't have the budget for that. 626 00:20:40,976 --> 00:20:42,282 - It's not a fighter jet. - Aw. 627 00:20:42,318 --> 00:20:44,363 I got him to reopen the first floor. 628 00:20:47,608 --> 00:20:48,957 It's back to normal. 629 00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:50,544 It's beautiful. 630 00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,031 Thank you, sir. 631 00:20:52,067 --> 00:20:53,586 I couldn't have done it without you. 632 00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:55,622 As a matter of fact, I'd like to take you out tonight 633 00:20:55,666 --> 00:20:56,623 for a thank-you dinner. 634 00:20:56,667 --> 00:20:57,963 Oh, I would love that, 635 00:20:57,999 --> 00:20:59,626 but I'm gonna have to take a rain check, 636 00:20:59,670 --> 00:21:01,236 'cause Amy and I already have plans. 637 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,558 Although I'm pretty sure you would approve. 638 00:21:04,022 --> 00:21:05,857 So this is a brine barrel. 639 00:21:05,893 --> 00:21:07,329 It's made by Josiah Wooldruff, 640 00:21:07,365 --> 00:21:10,498 who learned the craft from his father Jesiah Wooldruff, 641 00:21:10,534 --> 00:21:12,144 who in turn learned... you know what? 642 00:21:12,180 --> 00:21:13,311 This was a terrible idea. I'm sorry. 643 00:21:13,347 --> 00:21:15,131 - Don't you dare stop. - Oh. 644 00:21:15,167 --> 00:21:16,298 Okay. 645 00:21:16,334 --> 00:21:18,901 Josiah's cousin Joshua was a cooper, 646 00:21:18,937 --> 00:21:20,025 not a hooper. 647 00:21:20,061 --> 00:21:21,367 Oh, mama. 648 00:21:23,833 --> 00:21:27,833 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com