Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
Ugh.
Reduced to marking my camp with bear sweat.
Those bears did not want to give up that sweat,
but it keeps the rodents from nibbling my lumps while I sleep.
Ouch! I feel something crunchy!
Like fried chicken!
Oh, it is fried chicken!
Oh, my glob — forest creature!
I'd better eat it real fast!
Get back here!
Aah!
What my life has become!
Hello?
Oh, my glob!
Oh, wonderful!
Welcome in, LSP.
Uh, I want to go through —
This place is so clean and nice!
You're so kind.
Do you have a sink?
Uh, there's one in the kitchen, and —
I'll use the one in the kitchen!
I need to tell you all the s—
Get me a towel!
Help me down!
O-okay, I-I really do need to tell you how to care
for Sweet P.
Uh, there's a proper procedure
for Sweet P's special tuck-in time.
You have to be real sweet to him.
Pat him gently on the head, kiss his cheeks...
What?
and give him treats.
Sing to him real, real soft and
sweet and touch your forehead to his and think the words,
"You are more precious than anything in this world,
and I will always, always love you."
then he'll fall asleep and have sweet dreams.
Oh, my glob, I'll do all that!
Okay, bye!
Have a wonderful time!
Time to get down to the chill-out!
What a Princess like me deserves.
Aah! Don't hurt me!
I'm Sweet P.
I didn't know you were huge.
I'm hungry.
Okay, let's check what's in the fridge.
Do you like pizza?
I like pizza.
Get the pizza, Sweet P!
Now I can kick back.
Refrigerators are just great!
I never stopped to think how great they are.
Now I'm cold, though.
Oh, What?
I'm still cold.
Rich-person indoor fire is just so great.
I'm feeling all toasty!
Must be time for toast!
I'm waiting...
waiting...
All done!
It's not black and crunchy like when I throw bread
into my campfire.
This music's way better than owls' hoots.
I deserve this.
No! You're an animal!
You can't come inside!
I'm ready to be tucked in now.
Hello?
Will you be sweet to me?
Sweetness must be out there in the night to guide my
sleepy boat right.
Yo!
Hey, Marcy!
LSPita bread, what's up?
Just chillin' in my awesome bubble bath!
Did you break into someone's house again?
I have a new life now and a career.
I didn't know you had any skills.
Success isn't about skills.
It's about being cool.
These people just randomly approached me, like,
"Hey, we will totally pay you to hang out in our sick mansion
and feed our baby or whatever."
Well, good for you, dude.
I mean, I feel like a totally new person now that I'm finally
getting what I deserve.
Oh, my Glob, what is that?
Aah!
Mm.
Take this, you dandruff!
Huh?
You don't belong here in the world of decent people.
You belong in the woods with...
garbage animals!
Noooooooo!
Will you be sweet to me?
Will you kiss my cheeks?
Will you give me treats?
Blech!
Will you be sweet to me?
Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo!
Agh!
Look what you've done, LSP.
Huh?
You made it gross.
Everything you touch turns gross!
Uh...
just like you!
Aah!
You don't really think you deserved any of this, do you?
You're a rat, just a giant rat that wandered
into somebody's nice house.
I'm a good person!
I take care of babies!
Look!
Baby Sweet P?
Baby Sweet P!
Oh, my glob, I lost the baby!
I'm a bad person!
Just accept that you're garbage!
Hi-yah!
Baby Sweet P!
Have you seen a big, fat child around here?
Have you seen my enormous baby?
If only I'd cooked the pizza!
I could've eaten some, too!
I'm so stupid!
You got to help me!
I lost some old couple's baby
'cause I didn't do the sweet things!
I just wanted a bubble bath, and...
how did I lose something so
bi-I-I-I-g?
Ma'am, you're gonna have to come with us.
Baby Sweet P!
Give me that donut!
No!
I'm not a bad person!
Huh?
Hey, big baby!
I found you!
Sweet P!
I'm so sorry!
I should've been sweet to you!
Here, okay, um...
Pat very gently on the head...
Kiss on both cheeks...
Mwah! Mwah!
Treat.
Mmm!
Uh, and sing something sweet.
You are more precious than anything in
this world, and I will always, always love you.
Aww!
We're ho-o-me!
Shh!
He's asleep.
Why is Sweet P's blanket on the wall —
Shh!
Mr. and Mrs. Pig Trunks, I have some good news.
Sweet P has grown so attached to me that it would be cruel for me
to leave him, obviously.
So...
Yes, I will accept the position
as your live-in nanny!
Huh?
Partake of the chicken.
Chicken...
This is good chicken!
Maybe we can get, uh, Neptr to sit.
I don't know.
Mama?
I had that dream again — the one where I'm a comet boy.
Oh, really?
Yeah, coming back to Ooo over and over,
and there was a fake comet, a beard man in a spaceship.
My, what an imagination...
The comet...
approacheth.
This party is so crazy!
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll