Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
Blegh!
Your tooth looks bad, dude!
Smells like a garden shed in here.
Finn, I think you have to go dentist.
I can't go dentist, Jake!
You got to take care of it!
Just go dentist, dude.
Okay.
Easy does it.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
This is so bad.
What did Princess Bubblegum say when you showed her?
Ahhhhh!
Hmm...
Finn, this is literally serious.
You have to go dentist.
Noooooooooo!
Dude! You! Got! To! Go!
Dentist!
Blegh!
Noooo!
I'm too strong for the world!
I don't want to go dentist, Jake.
They put you in a hole filled with snakes and rotten butter,
and they leave you there.
Come on, man.
It's not that bad.
Okay.
Aaah! Aah! Aah! Aaaaah!
Right?
Wuh!
N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Unh!
This isn't so bad.
My Sword!
Wonder where —
Aah!
Soft sand.
Ant.
Welcome to dentist, Cadet!
I'm Leftenant Gamergate!
Snakes and rotten butter — a common mistake.
You were expected to arrive with snacks and a flashlight.
Either way, you're here.
So... dentist is ants?
Dentist is dentist, Cadet!
Drop and give me 20!
I don't have any money.
Funny man goes dentist, huh?
The Queen's office is in the Royal Hill.
Holes...
Hmm.
Listen, I wasn't here when you came in.
I'm a very busy woman.
Hello.
My name is General Tarsal.
I am the current Queen of this regiment,
and please have a seat.
As a first-time recruit,
I'm confident that you have no idea what you're doing here.
My tooth hurts.
Let's take a look at your file.
Ah, you're a fighter.
Yeah, we can use a fighter.
My tooth hurts.
What?
Of course it does.
Let me explain.
You have gone dentist.
That means that you will serve a brief tour of duty,
and in exchange, we will provide full dental rehabilitation!
You will be on the front, fighting monsters —
monstrous monster worms!
Worms.
The worms are employed by...
the flies.
Worms.
Work for the flies.
You fight them, we'll fix your teeth.
Me.
Yes, you!
Your mission is to secure this junction at all costs.
Upon completion of service,
you will be sworn to absolute secrecy.
The flies have spies everywhere.
Fly Spies!
Heh heh.
These worms are no joke, so you'll be assigned a partner.
Uh, let's see.
Cadet...
Tiffany Oiler.
Tiffany?
Tiffany!
Finn, I'm gonna kill you!
That guy wants to kill me!
Tough nuts.
That's dentist.
Cadets, dinner is being served in the mess hall,
Central Hill, Sub-tunnel 8!
Hm. Do you have anything less sugary?
Yo, Finn!
I'm gonna kill you!
Doing it for my tooth.
Ruff!
Thought so.
Hey, uh... partner...
Urn, so how're you doin', Tiffany?
Yeah, I lost my teeth eatin' the baker's shard.
It's a lot of sugar, right?
Oh. Did you already know what dentist is?
See, this is a good example of why I want to kill you —
You're ignorant.
Heed my words, Finn — as the Miller's wheel
forever outrages the seed,
so the good apple boringly receives his neighbor's worm.
The hey...?
And all the corn gets smooshed to grease,
to grease under the Miller's flipping wheel.
You're getting greased!
Tiffany, look, we got to work together, right?
Why don't we let bygones be bygones?
bygones?
Ha!
That's you.
Bye-gone!
Do you want my peach?
Bye-gone!
Hey!
Stand down, Cadets!
Retire to your bunks!
Tonight, lights out.
Tomorrow, your eyes out!
Unh!
What the stork, man?
This is my special sword.
Why didn't you take one of those ant swords they offered
you back there?
I don't need some fancy thinger to kick butt
when I've got these!
You know about these?
No...
You will.
Anyway, I just kind of wanted your sword
'cause it's pretty cool, I guess.
Whatever.
I'll get it soon enough...
from off your dead corpse, you chump!
Hey, Tiffany...
you know, we're really not so different, you and I.
Bullstuff.
Well, we're both friends with Jake,
and that's something, right?
I was friends with Jake.
Then some baritone herb stole him away from me.
I didn't steal him.
We're brot—
and when that Snow-White Wiener dog is finally dead,
Jake will be devastated...
He'll need a shoulder to cry whiny,
Finn-style tears on, and that shoulder will be mine —
Tiffany's!
Then I can get busy with undoing your cheesy influence,
plus, more!
With my help, Jake'll become the criminal juggernaut
he was always meant to be.
We won't just be robbing banks anymore.
We'll be robbing the actual banks.
The whole banks!
You get it?
We're gonna steal actual whole buildings.
Yeah, I get it.
So don't tell me "We're not so different," okay?
We're opposites, you and me.
Oil and goody-goody snow-white baby-vanilla-bean mitten water!
Go, Tiffany!
Man, that nut's gonna try and stick me while I'm not
even looking.
Don't even stress it, Finn.
You're Finn Mertens, man.
You got this.
Man, I hope so.
Finn! Get in here, quick!
The junction.
There's something moving in the walls.
It was like...
Crk brk crnch crk brk brmble!
Wallworms! Holy cow!
Dang it, Tiffany, not yet!
We got to work together to beat the worms!
Here they come!
Tiffany!
Unh!
Oh, snap! Look out!
They're coming in from the side!
You good?
My tooth hurts.
Dang! It's the head worm, and she's livid!
I say we get the heck out of h-e-e-e-e-ere!
Finn!
Tiffany, quick!
Pull me up!
Quick, Tiffany! I'm slipping!
Dang it, Tiffany!
Weren't you paying attention?
We're two peas in a pod!
We're not oil and water.
We're oil and vinegar.
It's good, man.
It's yummy!
Mm...
It's good for you!
You're right, Finn.
I can't bring myself to do it.
But I can't bring myself to save you, either.
Why are you still smiling?
Sorry.
I didn't hear what you said.
I was just gonna let it slide.
Look, you're — you're on your own.
I'm sorry.
Catch you on the flip, I guess.
Tiffany?
Tiffa— n-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Unh!
Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
Whoa! Easy, son.
Don't try to speak.
Your mouth is full of ants.
Huh?
It's okay.
We just finished up.
Ah.
What happened down there?
Where's Tiffany?
Well, the good news is, the worm Queen was defeated —
choked to death on some foreign object —
presumably Cadet Tiffany, who is missing in action,
which is the bad news.
Tiffany...
But we didn't have to fix his teeth, which is nice news...
but we did have to fix your teeth, which is okay news.
Huh huh.
'Eyyy!
So, on behalf of the Ant Nation,
I'd like to thank you for your service,
which is now concluded.
As soon as you're ready, we'll get you stuffed back up
that well with all the snakes and butter.
Holy cow.
Hooray!
Welcome home, Finn.
Yeah.
Welcome home, buddy.
Thanks, you guys!
Man, you'll never believe it.
Dentist is actually—
Eh-eh-eh!
It was crazy.
Tiffany was there—
Hey, deh-deh-deh!
Wait. You all knew?
What the heck?
Why didn't you tell —
Eh-eh-eh!
This party is so crazy!