Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
Ugh. I'm covered in newbs.
I've got hunger cranks.
Hmm? oh, yes.
That's very interesting.
Kim Kil Whan.
Hm.
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraahh!
Mom, when are we gonna eat?
I'm goin' nuts!
Seriously, mom, dad's already
three hours late with the food!
You hush, junior.
You know dad's a wonderful cook.
Viola, when's the last time
you even heard from dad?
Oh, you know.
Dad is... distractible.
"Distractible!"
Yeah, I love dad and
everything, but he's only ever
met me twice.
Charlie, Viola, TV, Jake Jr.,
Kim Kil Whan
Whoo!
Whoo! Whoo-hoo!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
We're real late!
Happy birthday, puppies!
Okay, so, putting it out
there — I didn't remember to
bring you guys any birthday presents,
but I did bring lunch!
It's macaroni salad.
Dad, you're beautiful!
Dad!
We have new business to discuss.
Happy birthday,
Kim Kil Whan!
Birthdays are old business.
Whoa, neat.
Urn, well, how are things goin', son?
"Things"?
"Things" have switched hands.
I get it.
Dad, when I say that things
have switched hands, I mean to
say that things you have
previously claimed ownership of
have transferred from your hands
to my hands, in that...
I bought your tree house.
What?
The deed to your tree house.
How? Acquired through legal trade.
From whom? The deed's previous owner,
Marceline the Vampire Queen...
in exchange for one lunatic bass.
When? Effective immediately.
But, son, why?
We will convene at the property.
Sorry I'm late. Okay.
So, as the deed holder of this tree house,
I am now your landlord.
The first thing I'm going to have to do
is assess your treasure room.
But, son, I'm your Pop.
What would your mother say,
doing this to your poor pip-pop!
I'm sorry, dad.
Deeds don't bleed.
Okay, son, get ready to
be glitter-stunned by all this
treasu— oh, yeah.
We spent all of it.
All we have left are these
vintage photos I got at the flea market.
They're interesting!
Woof.
All right, so, I guess this is
the apartment the two of you can afford.
It's a ladder.
Yeah? Yeah.
Send them on over.
Sorry about that.
Anyway, as you can see, this
beauty offers direct first- and
second-floor access, superb
craftsmanship, and et cetera.
I... suppose you're familiar.
Yes, Finn?
Yeah, uh, when do we
get our house back?
What?
Excuse me.
Good afternoon.
Yes, right this way.
I've got 37 available units to
show in this building, so we're
gonna want to get right to it.
Please, step inside.
There we go. Is that everyone?
Good, good.
Please make your way upstairs,
and we'll begin the tour.
And, you two, go ahead and make
yourselves at home.
Rent's due on the 1st.
No overnight guests.
Oh, and flush once after you
boom-boom but before you start
using the t.p., and then once
more in the middle of using the
t.p. if you're going to use a lot.
It's... easier on the pipes.
Okay, call me if you need me.
Hey, Finn, I'm real
sorry about this.
Somehow, I feel like it's kind
of my fault.
Nah, man.
It's really not so bad.
Let's just sleep on it tonight.
You're gonna sleep like that?
Yeah, man. It's tough.
I'm a tough kid.
I promise I'll work this thi—
Gee, but it's great to be
back home, eh, Mr. B.?
Yeah.
I can't wait to wash my gross,
fat butt.
Ugh!
Oh, Oh, holy cow.
Oh! Oh, boy, please hurry.
Yes, he's inside my apartment right now.
Oh, I'm so scared.
Hey, buddy, you okay?
Glob, now there's two of 'em!
I just feel like if
we're patient, this whole
thing will work itself out
before you know it.
See, man?
Help is on the way.
Man, can I tell you something?
I don't even know what's going on, here.
I mean, like, what the heck is a deed?
How come he can buy our house
when it's our house and
Marceline gave it to us and we live there?
A-and now we're arrested?
This is crazy!
It's crazy!
Man, don't you know?
The laws ain't made to help
earthy cats like us.
They're not?
Nah, man. Listen.
Here on our planet, back in the old days —
back in the real old days —
it was just every man
for hisself, scrooblin' and
scrat-scroblin' for the good stuff,
the greenest valleys,
and scrat-scroblin'.
And the strongest, meanest men
got the best stuff.
They got the green valleys and
were like, "the rest of you,
y'all scrats get sand."
And that's when they made the laws, you see.
Once the strong guys got it how
they liked it, they said "this is fair now.
This is the law."
Once they were winning,
they changed the rules up.
Whoa, just like Kim Kil Whan.
Hey, good news, fellas.
Your bail's paid.
You're free to go.
That's awesome!
Yeah! Awesome!
Yeah, real "awesome."
Hey, Kim Kil Whan!
Aw, buddy, I knew you'd come around.
Fathers and sons, man.
That's that real thick chowder.
What's this?
This is a bill for the bail I just paid.
Ooh.
You're really in it deep here, dad.
It's time for you to get real.
Get a job. No more games.
Come on, son, just let
me do the... lah blah blah blah blah.
Man, where did I go wrong?
I don't know, but I'm
not tryin' to be sleepin' on a
ladder anymore, so let's just
get a bunch of scroot together
and buy our house back.
Then you two can hash it out later.
Yeah, you're right.
So, wanna rob a bank or somethin'?
Well, actually,
I was thinking maybe Kim Kil Whan was right.
Maybe we should get jobs or somethin'.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Oh, no, wait!
I just remembered I buried a ton
of gold in the front yard!
Yes!
Oh, yes, yes, absolutely.
Small pets are allowed with an
additional deposit.
Excellent
Watch it!
Excuse me.
Almost got it.
Hey, son.
I'm glad you're here.
Bad news, ya scrat!
We're buying our house back!
Oh, yeah? With what?
With this!
Yeah!
Oh, I see.
With the gold you dug out of my lawn,
which is therefore mine.
Now, since I have a job,
I must be going.
Ciao.
And fill in that hole.
I'm gonna be frank, here.
Your son's a real-time
jingle-blaster.
I know, I know.
Kim Kil Whan's a real out-loud
flim-flammer, and that's okay,
I guess, but why, why,
would he do this to his pip-plop-plop?
Oh, wait.
You know, like, like, maybe he's
got a secret problem he can't
tell us about, like with mob
goons — like, like gambling
debts or something.
Ooh, that's it!
You're right!
If we help him out of his secret jam,
he won't need our money anymore.
Look, there he goes now.
Come on, let's follow him to the mob goons!
You sure this is right, Jake?
I've never seen this place before.
Looks like a fairy tale.
Yeah, man, the nose knows.
I smelled him go in there... and
then I smelled him go up there.
Whoa.
Kim Kil Whan is rich, like wow,
like, hello, what?
But if he doesn't need our money,
what does he need?
Throw pebbles at the glass
to get his attention.
Hey. son!
Dad? What are you doing here?
Shouldn't you be at work?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.
I never even looked for a job.
Really?
I was thinking about
you buyin' our tree house.
I figured out that you don't
need our money, so maybe you'd
consider my counteroffer...
Father love!
I love you, I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you,
I lub you, I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you, I lub you,
I love you, I lub you,
I love you, I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you,
I love you
I love you, I lub you,
I love you, I love you, I lub you.
Come on, open it!
It's an ocarina.
- I made it for you. - Oh.
Whenever you play it,
you'll be reminded of your
pep-pant's love.
Thanks, dad.
Yeah, it's not hollow.
I made the holes with the back
end of a pencil.
I suppose I could accept the
ocarina as legal trade.
The tree house is yours, dad.
Okay.
Take care, dad. I'll call.
I'll call!
Okay, bye, dad.
Later, son!
Yeah!
Yeah, all right!
Daddin'!
Sweetheart, how did it go?
Eh, all right, I guess.
I don't know.
He still lives the life of a child.
I mean, it's his choice,
but I really thought if he got a job
and moved out of that tree house,
it could have put some fire under him.
Aw, I'm sorry, sweets.
No, I think I was wrong about dad.
I think he's good.
This party is so crazy!
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll