Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Look, Jake, more Guardians.
The Citadel, I presume.
Likely so.
Hey, do you think maybe one of them could be my dad?
Nah, I don't think so.
We'll probably know when we see him.
Right. Right.
That makes sense.
Hey, the Lich, again.
This must be where the prison cells be at.
See?
Good riddance, too.
I hope you rot forever, you awful jerk flapper.
Some people just make the world a worse place to be,
just by being around, Jake.
That's right. Bad apples.
Lock 'em all up, I say, at the bottom of the ocean,
where it's too dark to see.
Look at that weird, old kid down there.
He looks just like you.
Man, look at his clothes.
Daddyyyyyyyyy!
Wup!
Aah!
All locked up in there.
D-do you think maybe he's a criminal, too?
Well, it had crossed my mind.
Geez, man.
I wish I hadn't said all that stuff before.
Now my heart feels yellow and green.
Maybe we shouldn't even have come here.
Whaaaaaa?
Jake, what did you do?
It wasn't me!
It came from up there!
Gah!
He's melting the crystal all up!
Breaking cats out left and right!
Turning cats grey!
Did he trick us, again?
I think he did.
Hey, kid.
Hey, do me a favor.
Get me out of here, huh?
This fire smells crazy!
Thanks, kid.
Now, where'd you guys park your Starskipper?
This place is coming down quick,
and I'm talking quick like zip-zip, like wow.
Like boom-boom wow.
Oh, we — we don't have a Starskipper.
Also, Finn's your son.
Whaaat?
No Starskipper.
I said, "Finn's your son."
He came a long way to meet you.
Son? Oh.
Hey, good for you, kid.
In other news, I still got to get out of here,
and the ground is melting.
Huh.
It's all pooling in the center.
Hey, urn, I — I wanted to ask you something.
I... well...
Hup!
Hey, wait up!
Dad! Wait!
Dad, I wanted to ask you — Whoaaaah!
Aaaah!
Aah!
No!
Gree nah gah bah ga da da brahdada!
Gra gra gra gra bra!
Finn, I know we normally come out of these things okay,
but I got a bad feeling about this.
Just promise me — if both my eyes get fried off,
you'll fry yours off, too.
What?
No.
Listen, you don't got to worry about a thing, Jake old pal.
We just need to defeat those five space villains,
hijack the shard they're hijacking,
and sail it home to safety.
Easy peasy.
Yeah, Jake, smarten up.
Soon as the last Guardian dies, the fighting stops.
See?
He's biting the dust right now.
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh...
It's... okay. It's okay.
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
You just got to fetch me a gob of that Guardian blood, son.
It's got that good nooch that keeps us young in the crystal.
Nooch?
Come on, now, partner.
No doddling.
Your old man needs you.
Attaboy, Flynn!
Do it for your old man!
Yeah, just get right in there!
Don't be shy!
Yeah!
Hey, good job, son.
Now rub some of that sap on my leg there.
Make sure to get it into the chicken-wing hole.
Dad?
Martin.
Okay, M-martin.
We need to talk.
Yeah, okay, kid, but hurry it up.
I'm trying to act cool here, but this thing really stings!
Why did you abandon me in the forest when I was a little baby?
Oh. I mean
You know me.
I'm a funny guy.
Wha—wha...
I don't know.
It was a long time ago. Who knows?
Like, maybe you left me.
But, hey, Daddy's back!
You and me, Daddy and baby.
Or should I say, "Baby and Daddy"?
Now slap that sap.
Uck.
Whoa! Would you look at that?
Smooth like new.
Couldn't fix the boot, too, huh?
Dude, s'mores important junk happening!
Look!
It's time to peel bananas on this fool...
As a family!
How about it, Martin?
Dad?
I got to run to the store!
Huh?
Fall.
You are alone, child.
There is only darkness for you,
and only death for your people.
These ancients are just the beginning.
I will command a great and terrible army.
And we will sail to a billion worlds.
We will sail until every light has been extinguished.
You are strong, child.
But I am beyond strength.
I am the end.
And I have come for you, Finn.
Gah!
What?
You don't like this stuff, huh?
Right in the doorbell.
Dad!
Jake, finish off the Lich!
I got to go catch my dad!
Finn, forget that loser!
Dad! Wait!
Hey, cool guys.
Looking for a new boss?
Chew faster.
That guy's really moving.
Hyup! Ugh!
Dad, Stop!
Finn!
Martin, I won't let you escape!
Hey, hey!
You're a void caster, right?
We got to put some... gas in this buggy.
Finn, let go!
He's not worth it!
Oh, gross.
Pedal to the metal.
Hey, what about air —
It'll be okay, dude.
I mean, at least you finished off the Lich, right?
Oh, yeah, that's the good news.
I didn't have to.
One sec.
Up you go!
Check this out.
Brand-new baby.
The Lich is super cute now, and he smells real neat.
That sap rebooted him or something.
I like him a lot.
Over here, fellas!
Next stop — The Candy Kingdom.
Previous stop — this weird place.
Mr. Pig, I think we should get a d—
Okay, run. Go, go, go!
Oh!
Oh, this changes everything!
Hello!
This party is so crazy!
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll