1
00:00:24,870 --> 00:00:31,870
Ripped By mstoll

2
00:00:42,279 --> 00:00:43,576
He's heading
for that cupe!

3
00:00:43,647 --> 00:00:44,579
Come on, Jake.

4
00:00:44,648 --> 00:00:45,842
Oh, yeah.

5
00:00:58,595 --> 00:01:00,358
What? He's gone.

6
00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:01,954
What? What happened?

7
00:01:02,032 --> 00:01:03,056
Hey, hey!

8
00:01:03,133 --> 00:01:04,760
Did you guys see that?

9
00:01:04,834 --> 00:01:06,665
You know that was a ghost
wearing a dead guy?

10
00:01:06,736 --> 00:01:08,567
That might be the nastiest
thing I've ever seen.

11
00:01:08,638 --> 00:01:11,505
N-n-n-n-nasty, nasty Jazz.

12
00:01:11,574 --> 00:01:12,666
Nast...

13
00:01:12,742 --> 00:01:14,107
Hey, hey! Easy, buddy.

14
00:01:14,177 --> 00:01:15,405
That's our friend Billy.

15
00:01:15,478 --> 00:01:17,241
He got possessed
by the Lich!

16
00:01:17,314 --> 00:01:18,440
Oh, sorry! Sorry.

17
00:01:18,515 --> 00:01:19,675
I didn't mean nothin' by it.

18
00:01:19,749 --> 00:01:21,341
I mean, I have a
lot of nasty friends.

19
00:01:21,418 --> 00:01:22,851
My uncle was nasty.

20
00:01:22,919 --> 00:01:24,910
I'm basically
honorary nasty.

21
00:01:24,988 --> 00:01:26,250
Do you know
where he went?

22
00:01:26,323 --> 00:01:27,654
We have to find our friend.

23
00:01:27,724 --> 00:01:28,782
Who knows.

24
00:01:28,858 --> 00:01:30,485
Uh... oh.

25
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,461
Actually, it depends on
the wish I granted him.

26
00:01:33,530 --> 00:01:34,462
Wish?

27
00:01:34,531 --> 00:01:35,691
Yeah, he wished for the
extinction of all life,

28
00:01:35,765 --> 00:01:36,891
and I did it.

29
00:01:36,967 --> 00:01:38,332
I guess it changed his
timeline or something.

30
00:01:38,401 --> 00:01:39,834
What? Oh, glob!

31
00:01:39,903 --> 00:01:41,803
Whoa, wait a minute.

32
00:01:41,871 --> 00:01:43,634
How can that be if
I'm still here kickin'

33
00:01:43,707 --> 00:01:45,538
it with my main man,
Finn?

34
00:01:45,608 --> 00:01:47,371
Oh, that's because you're
safe in my time room

35
00:01:47,444 --> 00:01:49,173
until you make your wish.

36
00:01:51,381 --> 00:01:53,315
Oh-h-h-h.

37
00:01:53,383 --> 00:01:55,283
I wish that life
wasn't anymore exti...

38
00:01:55,352 --> 00:01:56,649
Whoa! Wait, Jake.

39
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:57,914
Don't mess this up.

40
00:01:57,988 --> 00:01:58,977
Think about it.

41
00:01:59,055 --> 00:02:00,522
If we wish everything
back to normal,

42
00:02:00,590 --> 00:02:02,023
the Lich could just
jazz it up again.

43
00:02:02,092 --> 00:02:03,184
Oh, yeah.

44
00:02:04,227 --> 00:02:05,251
Jazz.

45
00:02:05,328 --> 00:02:06,818
Hmm.

46
00:02:06,896 --> 00:02:08,625
Hmm.

47
00:02:08,698 --> 00:02:10,928
Hm-m-m-m.

48
00:02:11,001 --> 00:02:12,059
I got it!

49
00:02:12,135 --> 00:02:14,501
I wish...

50
00:02:14,571 --> 00:02:16,698
The Lich...

51
00:02:16,773 --> 00:02:18,570
never...

52
00:02:18,641 --> 00:02:20,302
even ever existed.

53
00:02:24,247 --> 00:02:25,111
Mom?

54
00:02:25,181 --> 00:02:26,409
Mom, what's wrong?

55
00:02:26,483 --> 00:02:28,348
Finn, I need you to
do something for me.

56
00:02:28,418 --> 00:02:29,350
It's very important.

57
00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:31,512
I need you to take
the mule into

58
00:02:31,588 --> 00:02:34,022
town today and sell him
for as much as you can.

59
00:02:34,090 --> 00:02:34,920
What?

60
00:02:34,991 --> 00:02:36,049
Sell Bartram?

61
00:02:36,126 --> 00:02:38,219
But I love Bartram.
What the heck, mom?

62
00:02:38,294 --> 00:02:39,226
Shh!

63
00:02:39,295 --> 00:02:41,627
Finn, please.
Just do as I say.

64
00:02:42,832 --> 00:02:44,390
- Got it?
- Dad?

65
00:02:44,467 --> 00:02:46,196
I push you.
You fall down.

66
00:02:47,470 --> 00:02:48,664
The Destiny Gang?

67
00:02:48,738 --> 00:02:49,636
Finn, please.

68
00:02:49,706 --> 00:02:51,367
Everything will be fine,
I promise.

69
00:02:51,441 --> 00:02:52,874
Now, just do as I say.

70
00:02:55,879 --> 00:02:57,403
I'm sorry, Bartram.

71
00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,074
I guess dad must be in real
trouble to be doing this.

72
00:03:00,150 --> 00:03:03,483
But I bet there's a lot of fine
folk lookin' to buy a good mule.

73
00:03:03,553 --> 00:03:06,215
Why, I bet I could even
come visit sometimes.

74
00:03:06,289 --> 00:03:08,484
Won't that be swell,
Bartram?

75
00:03:08,558 --> 00:03:09,991
Bartram?

76
00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:11,493
Dang it, Bartram.

77
00:03:11,561 --> 00:03:12,755
Bar-bar?

78
00:03:12,829 --> 00:03:14,160
What the...

79
00:03:14,230 --> 00:03:15,891
Bar-bar, how'd you
get up there?

80
00:03:22,138 --> 00:03:23,696
Jake, look!

81
00:03:23,773 --> 00:03:25,297
A golden crown!

82
00:03:25,375 --> 00:03:26,672
Unbelievable!

83
00:03:26,743 --> 00:03:28,472
We can sell it
and keep Bartram!

84
00:03:28,545 --> 00:03:29,512
Bong bong!

85
00:03:29,579 --> 00:03:31,012
Hold it right there!

86
00:03:31,081 --> 00:03:32,514
Who are you?

87
00:03:32,582 --> 00:03:36,951
I'm a thousand years old,
and this is my crown.

88
00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:38,078
Okay, okay.

89
00:03:38,154 --> 00:03:39,746
But, um...

90
00:03:39,823 --> 00:03:42,553
maybe I could just...
borrow it for a little while?

91
00:03:42,625 --> 00:03:43,455
No!

92
00:03:43,526 --> 00:03:45,517
No! No!

93
00:03:45,595 --> 00:03:47,654
This crown is magic.

94
00:03:47,730 --> 00:03:49,630
Bad, terrible magic.

95
00:03:49,699 --> 00:03:54,227
Too dangerous for mortal
fingies like yours!

96
00:03:54,304 --> 00:03:59,367
One thousand years ago, my
beloved friend, Simon Petrikov,

97
00:03:59,442 --> 00:04:02,002
gave his life to
save this foolish,

98
00:04:02,078 --> 00:04:05,536
unworthy planet
from annihilation.

99
00:04:05,615 --> 00:04:08,743
A frightful bomb
was poised to

100
00:04:08,818 --> 00:04:11,912
bathe the land
in mutogenic horror.

101
00:04:11,988 --> 00:04:14,616
But using his mastery
of ice and snow,

102
00:04:14,691 --> 00:04:19,060
Simon froze the bomb in
mid-flight only inches

103
00:04:19,129 --> 00:04:21,188
from the ground,

104
00:04:21,264 --> 00:04:23,994
where it remains to
this very day,

105
00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:25,125
today,

106
00:04:25,201 --> 00:04:27,897
ever-ripe and
ready to blow.

107
00:04:27,971 --> 00:04:30,405
But he alone
was not saved.

108
00:04:30,473 --> 00:04:34,170
Trapped under the giant weight
of the enormous bomb,

109
00:04:34,244 --> 00:04:37,213
poor Simon perished.

110
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:38,474
Little help?

111
00:04:38,548 --> 00:04:42,678
And the horrible crown,
grieving its lost master,

112
00:04:42,752 --> 00:04:46,279
loosed a spasm of magic
so wild and crazy,

113
00:04:46,356 --> 00:04:53,159
the entire Earth was buried
in ice for 400 boring years.

114
00:04:54,430 --> 00:04:55,624
Uh...

115
00:04:55,698 --> 00:04:58,064
None of that is true,
'cause magic is fake.

116
00:04:58,134 --> 00:05:00,534
Daddy says the false prophets
of old used cheap parlor tricks

117
00:05:00,603 --> 00:05:02,798
to control the people,
and to get babes,

118
00:05:02,872 --> 00:05:04,840
like 10 or 12
hot babes each.

119
00:05:04,908 --> 00:05:07,433
No! Magic is real!

120
00:05:07,510 --> 00:05:09,341
Lady, you been
down here too long.

121
00:05:09,412 --> 00:05:14,076
- Why don't you just let...
- Step off, or I will use this!

122
00:05:14,150 --> 00:05:15,640
Lady, quit it
with that thing!

123
00:05:15,718 --> 00:05:17,310
I'm sorry.

124
00:05:17,387 --> 00:05:20,049
You must die!

125
00:05:21,958 --> 00:05:23,152
Aah?

126
00:05:24,127 --> 00:05:25,116
Ooh.

127
00:05:25,195 --> 00:05:26,753
Um...

128
00:05:26,829 --> 00:05:28,592
Oh, man!

129
00:05:28,665 --> 00:05:30,428
This thing...
dang it!

130
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:31,432
Go, Jake!

131
00:05:32,502 --> 00:05:33,491
Aah!

132
00:05:33,570 --> 00:05:36,733
Go back to the underworld, you beast!

133
00:05:38,141 --> 00:05:38,971
Sorry!

134
00:05:39,042 --> 00:05:40,066
I got to save my dad.

135
00:05:40,143 --> 00:05:43,135
Destroy the world,
more like!

136
00:05:44,113 --> 00:05:44,977
Dummy!

137
00:05:45,048 --> 00:05:46,242
I give up.

138
00:05:46,316 --> 00:05:47,715
The crown...

139
00:05:47,784 --> 00:05:49,217
Go get it.

140
00:05:49,285 --> 00:05:51,810
I know you're not
really talking to me.

141
00:05:51,888 --> 00:05:53,412
I'm not crazy!

142
00:05:53,489 --> 00:05:55,184
Get the crown!

143
00:05:55,258 --> 00:05:56,384
Go get it!

144
00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,021
Get the crown, Marceline!

145
00:05:59,095 --> 00:06:00,084
Go get it!

146
00:06:00,163 --> 00:06:02,495
I can't...
my knees!

147
00:06:02,565 --> 00:06:04,795
Well, that's really
disappointing, I must say.

148
00:06:04,867 --> 00:06:05,799
I'm just...

149
00:06:05,868 --> 00:06:06,994
Well, whatever.

150
00:06:07,070 --> 00:06:08,697
You're really letting
me down right now.

151
00:06:08,771 --> 00:06:10,534
Okay. All right.

152
00:06:13,009 --> 00:06:14,033
Cool crown!

153
00:06:14,110 --> 00:06:15,372
Who wants a cool crown?

154
00:06:15,445 --> 00:06:17,174
I found it on a
dead magician dude!

155
00:06:17,247 --> 00:06:18,214
I'll take it.

156
00:06:18,281 --> 00:06:19,111
Awesome!

157
00:06:19,182 --> 00:06:20,171
How much cash you got?

158
00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:21,877
Oh, I'm poor.

159
00:06:21,951 --> 00:06:24,181
Uh, but what about I trade
you for a personal concert

160
00:06:24,254 --> 00:06:25,482
at your house?

161
00:06:25,555 --> 00:06:27,819
I'll come over later and
sing you like four songs.

162
00:06:27,890 --> 00:06:30,552
I mostly do covers,
but I have originals, too.

163
00:06:30,627 --> 00:06:32,720
Do you own any spoons?

164
00:06:32,795 --> 00:06:33,921
No.

165
00:06:33,997 --> 00:06:35,123
Let me see that!

166
00:06:35,198 --> 00:06:36,222
Hey!

167
00:06:36,299 --> 00:06:37,163
Heh.

168
00:06:40,136 --> 00:06:41,694
Wait. Destiny Gang.

169
00:06:41,771 --> 00:06:43,534
I got to sell that
to pay you guys!

170
00:06:43,606 --> 00:06:45,471
Trami, what you think?

171
00:06:45,541 --> 00:06:47,168
Is it my style?

172
00:06:47,243 --> 00:06:48,574
Big Destiny will know.

173
00:06:48,645 --> 00:06:50,772
Yo, boss!

174
00:06:50,847 --> 00:06:51,905
Snap!

175
00:06:51,981 --> 00:06:53,676
Huh? What is this?

176
00:06:53,750 --> 00:06:55,718
Are you telling me
what to wear, Trami?

177
00:06:55,785 --> 00:06:57,946
No, boss!
You look good!

178
00:06:58,021 --> 00:06:59,750
You think I should
re-invent my style

179
00:06:59,822 --> 00:07:02,120
and put a stupid thing
on my head?

180
00:07:02,191 --> 00:07:03,351
No, man!

181
00:07:03,426 --> 00:07:05,087
You tell us what to wear!

182
00:07:05,161 --> 00:07:07,186
Otherwise, you would
dress like an idiot!

183
00:07:07,263 --> 00:07:09,322
Bam! Crown shorts.

184
00:07:09,399 --> 00:07:10,889
Amazing!

185
00:07:10,967 --> 00:07:12,764
Yeah-ha-hah.

186
00:07:15,305 --> 00:07:16,932
Clap harder, trash bag.

187
00:07:19,542 --> 00:07:20,736
Okay, you guys.

188
00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:22,801
Give me my money or
leave my parents alone.

189
00:07:22,879 --> 00:07:25,780
Property of old dead person
go to Big Destiny.

190
00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:28,877
One arm needs to
learn the rules,

191
00:07:28,951 --> 00:07:31,146
unless you want your
butt handed to you.

192
00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:33,245
I guess it wasn't
really mine.

193
00:07:33,323 --> 00:07:35,883
It's mine!
I'm a demon.

194
00:07:35,958 --> 00:07:37,016
Half demon.

195
00:07:37,093 --> 00:07:39,152
Tromo, jack up crazy lady.

196
00:07:39,228 --> 00:07:41,924
Trami, take mule back
to crib for din-din.

197
00:07:41,998 --> 00:07:43,056
What?

198
00:07:46,102 --> 00:07:47,034
Bar-bar!

199
00:07:47,103 --> 00:07:48,331
Tough luck, one-arm!

200
00:07:53,609 --> 00:07:56,237
See you soon,
bad style junk town!

201
00:07:58,014 --> 00:07:59,038
Bar-bar.

202
00:07:59,115 --> 00:08:00,980
End of the road, bat lady.

203
00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:02,312
Oww, my bones!

204
00:08:03,619 --> 00:08:04,483
Aah!

205
00:08:06,789 --> 00:08:07,881
My eye!

206
00:08:07,957 --> 00:08:09,254
I will junk your face!

207
00:08:09,325 --> 00:08:10,849
What the...

208
00:08:10,927 --> 00:08:12,986
Destiny Gang,
get out of town!

209
00:08:13,062 --> 00:08:15,462
We're sick of
being bullied around!

210
00:08:15,531 --> 00:08:16,657
Yeah!

211
00:08:16,733 --> 00:08:19,497
You make big mistake!

212
00:08:19,569 --> 00:08:21,366
Especially you, one-arm.

213
00:08:21,437 --> 00:08:24,099
My name is Finn Mertens!

214
00:08:24,173 --> 00:08:26,141
And tell Big "D"
I'm coming for my stuff!

215
00:08:26,209 --> 00:08:28,200
Oh, you come and try!

216
00:08:28,277 --> 00:08:29,505
Are you okay, lady?

217
00:08:29,579 --> 00:08:31,046
You must promise to...

218
00:08:31,114 --> 00:08:34,914
promise to return the crown
to its hide-hole.

219
00:08:34,984 --> 00:08:36,178
I promise.

220
00:08:36,252 --> 00:08:38,652
You'll need this, Finn,
if you want to win.

221
00:08:38,721 --> 00:08:39,881
Choose Bruce.

222
00:08:39,956 --> 00:08:40,854
What is it?

223
00:08:40,923 --> 00:08:42,720
It's a weapon for your arm.

224
00:08:42,792 --> 00:08:46,558
With this,
you will defend from harm!

225
00:08:46,629 --> 00:08:47,596
Hmm.

226
00:08:47,663 --> 00:08:50,427
Feels natural,
like peeing outside.

227
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:51,762
Sort of.

228
00:08:51,834 --> 00:08:54,064
Best not to take the lift,
my friend,

229
00:08:54,137 --> 00:08:57,163
else the D-Gang
will see you coming in!

230
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,229
No.

231
00:08:58,307 --> 00:08:59,968
I want them to see me.

232
00:09:00,042 --> 00:09:03,307
I'm-a go up there and
show them my face!

233
00:09:08,050 --> 00:09:10,712
Aah?

234
00:09:10,787 --> 00:09:12,220
Hello?

235
00:09:13,322 --> 00:09:15,586
Bar-bar? I'm coming!

236
00:09:15,658 --> 00:09:17,285
Bar-bar!

237
00:09:18,461 --> 00:09:20,224
I want my stuff, you big dump.

238
00:09:24,467 --> 00:09:26,958
You want Big D's crown, huh?

239
00:09:27,036 --> 00:09:28,128
Yeah!

240
00:09:28,204 --> 00:09:29,171
And Bar-bar!

241
00:09:29,238 --> 00:09:30,102
Here you go, then.

242
00:09:30,173 --> 00:09:31,105
Wha...?

243
00:09:31,174 --> 00:09:33,039
That is your
final possession,

244
00:09:33,109 --> 00:09:35,373
the last thing you
will ever own.

245
00:09:35,445 --> 00:09:37,345
What do you... mean?

246
00:09:38,381 --> 00:09:40,110
Look down there, stupid.

247
00:09:42,285 --> 00:09:44,310
Town is on fire, see?

248
00:09:44,387 --> 00:09:45,945
I made it on fire.

249
00:09:46,022 --> 00:09:47,353
Fix up junk town.

250
00:09:47,423 --> 00:09:48,754
Look at old man cry!

251
00:09:50,526 --> 00:09:52,721
That's what happens
when you mess with Big D!

252
00:09:52,795 --> 00:09:54,160
You get crush!

253
00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:55,788
Your family get crush!

254
00:09:55,865 --> 00:09:57,025
Boo-yah!

255
00:09:57,099 --> 00:09:58,794
Suck my shirt!

256
00:09:59,702 --> 00:10:00,532
Jump!

257
00:10:04,841 --> 00:10:05,865
Choose Bruce!

258
00:10:07,009 --> 00:10:09,409
All my stuff is "goan!"

259
00:10:09,479 --> 00:10:11,709
Now they're going after your...

260
00:10:11,781 --> 00:10:13,248
Home!

261
00:10:15,251 --> 00:10:16,843
Bar-bar, come on!

262
00:10:16,919 --> 00:10:18,784
Hurry, Finn!

263
00:10:18,855 --> 00:10:21,915
You can win!

264
00:10:23,793 --> 00:10:24,623
Finn!

265
00:10:24,694 --> 00:10:25,558
Return...

266
00:10:25,628 --> 00:10:26,617
I will.

267
00:10:26,696 --> 00:10:28,129
But we got to stop
the D-Gang first.

268
00:10:28,197 --> 00:10:29,164
Come on, Jake!

269
00:10:30,166 --> 00:10:31,326
Good boy!

270
00:10:32,835 --> 00:10:34,166
Destiny!

271
00:10:34,237 --> 00:10:35,169
Destiny!

272
00:10:35,238 --> 00:10:36,102
No-o-o-o!

273
00:10:38,407 --> 00:10:40,204
Yeah!

274
00:10:40,276 --> 00:10:42,642
How did I even
get here, son?

275
00:10:45,381 --> 00:10:46,905
Mom! Dad!

276
00:10:46,983 --> 00:10:48,507
- Finn!
- No!

277
00:10:50,419 --> 00:10:51,681
You said this
thing is magic?

278
00:10:51,754 --> 00:10:54,814
Yes, powerful and dangerous.

279
00:10:54,891 --> 00:10:57,291
But you lost your
mind in a cave.

280
00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:58,418
Whatever.

281
00:10:58,494 --> 00:11:00,257
You just got to
believe me, okay?

282
00:11:00,329 --> 00:11:01,956
For serious,
you donk!

283
00:11:02,031 --> 00:11:03,726
I am Big D!

284
00:11:03,799 --> 00:11:05,323
Whoo!

285
00:11:05,401 --> 00:11:06,834
I believe you.

286
00:11:06,903 --> 00:11:07,801
You do?

287
00:11:07,870 --> 00:11:09,633
Wait, no! Dingus!

288
00:11:40,403 --> 00:11:42,337
This party is so crazy!

289
00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:55,270
Ripped By mstoll