It's weird.
All right, I'll try to turn into a cheetah farting.
Pbfffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!
I can't do the spots.
Sparkles in the house?
Let's squish 'em!
Hyah!
Did you squish the sparkles?
No. They were around this holo-message player.
It's got a cartridge with it.
Oh, snap!
Well, plop that cartridge in the slot, playa!
Yeah! Okay!
Hello, boys.
Dad!
If you're hearing this pre-recorded hologram message,
it's because I've passed on
and my spirit sparkles guided you
to its secret hiding place.
Right now, I'm holding both of you in my hands.
You're both still little, squishy babies.
I made you boys something.
It's a dungeon... A proper dungeon
full of evil monsters, traps, and magic...
The whole kazoo!
- Kickin'! - Whoa, kickin'!
Now, this next part of the message is just for you, Jake,
so, Finn, cover your ears.
Jake, really this dungeon is for Finn.
I wanna make something
that'll force Finn to toughen up.
What?
All right, tell Finn to uncover his ears now.
Dude, take your hands off your head.
What?
All right, boys, now, to give you some incentive,
at the end of the dungeon, I'm putting the family sword.
It's made out of demon's blood.
- Whoa! What the...? - Oh, dang!
Give me back my blood, Joshua!
Kee oth rama pancake!
Aaaaaaaargh!
- Whoa! - Geez Louise!
The dungeon's 80 paces west of here
under a dumb-looking rock.
And, Finn, this dungeon's gonna kick your tail.
I bet you won't even get past the first trial,
you whiny baby.
What? What was that about?
Uh... I dunno.
Duhh. Duhh. Duhhh.
Whoo!
Whoa! Burgers and hot dogs!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Wait, Jake! - But... burgers and hot dogs.
Didn't you say you were hungry for burgers this morning?
Yeah. So?
And I said I was hungry for hot dogs?
Mm-hmm. I remember.
I don't think those burgers and hot dogs
are burgers and hot dogs at all.
Aaaaaaaaaaah...
Boom!
Yaaaaaaah!
Ew.
Duhhh.
Hyah!
Ahhhh.
Dude!
Look!
Finn, cover up those nubs on your head.
Man, again?
All right, Jake, I wanna remind you what this dungeon's for.
In order for Finn to stop whining,
he needs to be put through a trial
that forces him to take charge of a situation.
But, Dad, Finn's already figured that out.
He's a good kid with a kind heart.
Remember, Jake, this is a pre-recorded holo-message.
I can't hear you if you're talking to me right now.
I'm gonna go walk around!
Okay!
Jake, I need your help.
You got to call Finn a whiny baby.
- But... - Butts are for pooping.
Do it for Poppy.
Finn? - Over here!
Check it out, Jake. I found two ways.
This way has some kind of flower trap,
and that way... has that guy.
None shall pa-a-a-a-ss!
Ugh! Let's take the flower path.
Mm.
Wait! Why don't you want to take my path?
Because you're super gross, man.
Oh.
Cheer up, man.
We're only telling you you're gross because we're your bros.
Really?
Yeah. Bros are real with each other.
And you're gross, brother. Take a bath.
Thanks, brother.
No probs.
Hey, what did Dad say?
Um...
He said he's surprised a whiny baby like you
made it this far.
What? Why's Dad saying all that jive?
Mrnh.
Jake, do it for Poppy!
Because you cry like a baby, baby!
Dude, you're picking on me, too?
Whoa.
I don't even cry much.
I only cry when it's healthy, like when people die.
Partake of the fruit.
Pfth! Blech! Ugh.
If I didn't cry when people died,
I'd have a cold butt for a heart.
The fru-u... u-it.
"Waaaah! I cry when people die!
Waaaah! I'm Finn!"
Partake of the fruit.
Maybe I will partake of the fruit!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, fruit!
- Dude, don't eat that! - Why not?
All the people that I care about in this world
are being wads. - Ohh...
Don't you blow Poppy's cover!
N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Whoa.
Time to go, baby.
Finn, come on!
I'm gonna hang here with these fruit babes.
They'll be my best buds now.
Yah!
There's another cartridge!
Pbffffffffffffffffffft!
All right, man, Dad told me not to tell you this, but...
Don't tell him!
You're not real.
Dad asked me to call you "baby"
'cause he wants you to be tough.
But I'm tough! My whole body is a callus!
Ugh.
On this next holo-message we listen to,
when Dad tells you to cover your ears...
don't.
Hmph.
Hey, hey! Finn! Jake!
You made it past the fruit witches.
Hey, did they make you cry, Finn, huh? Huh?
I bet they did.
All right. Now cover your ears, Sue.
Jake, I'm almost done with this dungeon.
I just have one last monster to fit into this pit I dug.
I got him tied up in this room I'm building.
It's really hard trying to fit him in this pit.
He's pretty evil.
You're gonna have a crazy time trying to defeat...
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Dad!
Dad's sword!
Hey, Jake, when Finn finishes this dungeon,
play this tape for him.
Finn... - Ugh!
This pre-recorded holo-message...
Finn!
Oof!
Dude! Use your karate biz!
Ugh. I... oof!
I can't, man! I suck!
I'm a whiny baby, and I'm fat
and all those things Dad said about me!
Dude! Dad loves you!
Ugh!
Finn, if you're seeing this pre-recorded holo-message,
it's because you've finished the dungeon that I made.
I'm proud of you.
You're gonna do great things in this world.
I love you, son.
Yah! Hunh! Hyah!
Duhh.
I made you boys something.
It's... babies... Full of... babies.
The family sword... It's made out of... babies.
You know I don't think you're a baby, right?
Yeah, I know.
That sword is sweet.
Yeah. I'm stoked to slay some evil with it.
Joshua, return my blood to me,
or, by demon's law, I will cut off your love handles!
Joshua! We go way back!
Come on! Just give me back my blood!
Kee oth rama pancake!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghh!
Man, Dad was cool.
Yeah.