Huh, I guess you do know all the words.
Anyway, start the next video, Beemo.
We got to crack the code on the Ice King's evil secret tapes!
Brrr! You guys cold?
Yeah, it's kinda chilly in here.
What's on those tapes?
I can kind of make it out.
Dang it, Beemo, just turn to your right a little.
Ugh! By the power of ice,
I want your cup of cocoa to fall over!
Yes!
Now turn and pick it up.
Yes. Yes.
That's... me?
They're watching my secret tapes?
And they're cozy!
I'll show them.
This snowman looks pretty good.
Pretty darn good.
Wenk.
Could I have five more minutes, please?
I think I can break the code, Finn.
Really?
Yes, I have detected a noticeable pattern
in the tears of sadness that fall
from the Ice King's eyeballs.
His tears drop at an equal rate until the 13th tear,
when the right side drops two tears instead of one.
- Whoa. - This is so fascinating.
The 13th letter of the alphabet is
if I print the letter "m"
every time Ice King says an "m" word
it looks like this.
Oh, my glob, Jake. Is this it?
Could this be the Ice King's evil secret?
What does it mean?
Some of you won't survive this.
You'll melt or split in half or your head will fall off.
But that's fine, because you're made of snow.
Only one thing matters today...
Getting into that tree house, getting my tapes back,
and beating up Finn and Jake!
Maybe Beemo. Yeah, Beemo, too.
Who's with me?
Hey, Why are you guys So quiet?
Are you mad?
Oh, that's right, you're not alive yet.
My bad.
Give me my tapes back.
No, man! I know you've got evil secrets on these,
and we're gonna find them!
Snowmen, attack!
Aah!
Crup, Jake!
We got to unravel these evil secrets at warp crazy!
Good morning.
You're watching the evening news.
There's been an unfortunate event.
Let's go talk to some witnesses.
Princess, what is your name?
Please, let me go home!
So, Princess Please-let-me-go-home, tell me,
what was it like to experience this tragedy?
What? I can...
I don't, uh, uh...
Yeah, we're on air, honey, so spit it out.
I... I don't know what you're talking about.
Obviously traumatized and in a state of shock.
Let's go ask somebody else something.
Upside-down Princess, do you think
things will change politically because of today's events?
You're really frightening me!
Well, there you have it, folks.
People are very upset
that Gunter tried to eat Ice King's socks.
Very Upset!
That's why Gunter has to stay in the corner.
Weird.
He's sneaking in through the chimney!
Ah, the element of surprise.
Aw, geez, I'm filthy.
Well, now I'm cleaner, but I'm also nakeder.
Ooh! Mmm.
Just what I need.
Come on, come on.
'cause I wouldn't know it ♪ - Yeesh!
They wouldn't be in a fruit bowl!
Ooh!
Well, look at you with your nose shining so bright!
You're so unique!
I'll name you "Red Nose"
and make you leader of the pack!
Well, now you look boring.
If you want something done right,
you have to do it yourself.
Now give me my evil tapes back!
They're supposed to be buried...
in the ground!
Snow goons!
- Oh, no! - Don't worry, Beemo.
Aah!
Finn, there's one more tape!
Play it! His evil secret must be on that tape!
No, Beemo, please don't play it!
Hello, my name is Simon Petrikov.
I am recording this tape so that people will know my story.
Oh, no! Turn it off, Beemo! Turn it off!
I was studying to be an antiquarian
of ancient artifacts.
Now I never believed in the supernatural stuff myself,
just had a fascination with superstitions.
But everything changed
when I came into contact with this item.
The Ice King!
After purchasing this crown
from an old dock worker in northern Scandinavia,
I brought it home and excitedly showed my fiancee, Betty.
I jokingly put it on my head,
just for a laugh or something,
and that's when it started... the visions.
I fought with them, shouted at them
until I realized it wasn't real!
It was the crown!
I quickly took it off
and saw my fiancée in front of me,
looking at me with such contempt!
What had I said?
What had I done when I wore this crown?
All I know is, I never saw Betty again.
Since then, I now see the visions always,
whether or not I wear the crown.
They tell me the secrets...
the secrets of the ice and snow,
that the power of the crown
will save me with its frost.
I don't yet know what this means...
As you can see, my skin is beginning to turn blue,
my body temperature has been lowering
at a supernatural rate,
to what is now about 30 degrees celsius.
I don't know when it will end.
I'm really scared...
I know my mind is changing,
but I'm already too far gone to know what to do.
I want people to know that if I do things,
if... if I do things that hurt anyone,
please, please forgive me!
Just watch over me until I can find my way
out of this labyrinth in my brain
and regain my sanity!
And then maybe Betty, my princess...
maybe you will love me again.
Please love me again, Betty!
Drama bomb!
Now you know my secret!
You know...
that I used to wear glasses!
Maybe kidnapping Wildberry Princess will cheer me up.
Wait, Ice King.
Beemo, eject tape, please.
Here, Ice King.
What's this? You're giving me a gift?
No! It's...
Well, these belong to you.
But it's not even my birthday!
Oh, this is so exciting! Video tapes!
You know, I had a bunch of these once,
but I threw them away.
This is great, Finn. Thank you.
It's from me, too.
Oh, I have presents for you guys, too!
Here, it's a small pine tree.
I chopped it down in one fell swoop.
And this is for you.
Uh, thanks.
Oh, isn't this fun?
We're exchanging presents. We're wearing silly clothes.
There's snow everywhere.
Let's do this every day!
Uh...
How about once a year?
Okay.
That sounds good.
And so it was decided,
that once every year, when the weather got chilly,
that Finn, Jake, the Ice King,
Beemo, Princess Bubblegum,
Marceline the Vampire Queen,
Cinnamon Bun, Peppermint Butler, Phil,
a candy cane man, one of the Gumdrop Girls,
Lady Rainicorn, Lumpy Space Princess,
that guy, the other guy,
a pig, Tree Trunks, a two-headed duck,
the old crazy Tart Toter, the punch bowl,
a booger, and Gunter would get together
while wearing really big sweaters
and watch videos on the floor next to a fire
to celebrate the day when Finn and Jake
had a fleeting moment of empathy
for the biggest weirdo in Ooo.
It was a miracle.
Good night.
This party is so crazy!