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00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,717
{\an8}(PAUL SIMON'S "ME AND JULIO
DOWN BY THE SCHOOLYARD" PLAYING)
2
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,440
{\an8}(FILM REEL WHIRRING)
3
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:42,797
{\an8}(LAUGHING)
4
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,157
{\an8}WALTER: That's me,
Walter.
5
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:45,997
{\an8}Where... Where'd you go?
Oh, there you are!
6
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,717
{\an8}WALTER: I have the best life
in the whole world.
7
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,037
{\an8}(LAUGHING)
8
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:52,877
{\an8}(LAUGHS) That's
my brother, Gary.
9
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,313
{\an8}He's the best friend
you could ever have.
10
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,677
{\an8}Yeah, I know what
you're thinking.
11
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,677
{\an8}We could be twins.
12
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:03,557
{\an8}Here's where we live,
Smalltown...
13
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,397
{\an8}♪ Whoa, in a couple of days
they come and take me away
14
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,477
{\an8}♪ But the press
let the story leak
15
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,277
{\an8}WALTER: ...the best town
you could ever grow up in.
16
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:11,957
{\an8}♪ And when the radical priest
come to get me
17
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,157
{\an8}♪ Released we was
all on the cover of Newsweek
18
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,957
{\an8}WALTER: Gary and I did
everything together.
19
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,757
{\an8}♪ I don't know
where I'm going
20
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,117
{\an8}♪ I'm on my way
(MOANING)
21
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,397
{\an8}♪ I'm taking my time
but I don't know where
22
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,917
{\an8}♪ Goodbye to Rosie
the queen of Corona ♪
23
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,917
{\an8}WALTER: And as the years
passed, my brother was always there for me.
24
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,797
{\an8}(CHEERING)
I got it! Gary, throw me! Throw me!
25
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,437
{\an8}Ah! (GRUNTS)
26
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:38,837
{\an8}WALTER: We were a great team.
27
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,397
{\an8}(GRUNTS)
Nice job, Walter.
28
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,280
{\an8}Thanks, Gary.
29
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:47,517
{\an8}(MOANING)
30
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,520
{\an8}WALTER: Oh, don't get me
wrong. It's not perfect.
31
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:52,557
{\an8}That was so fun!
WALTER: Nothing is.
32
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,557
{\an8}(LAUGHS)
MAN: Sorry, kid.
33
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:55,957
{\an8}GIRL: I wanna do that again!
34
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,277
{\an8}MAN 2: Come on.
I'll ride with ya!
35
00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:58,840
{\an8}BOY: Hurry up!
36
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:02,880
{\an8}WALTER: Even
the sunniest days can have a few clouds in them.
37
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,157
{\an8}Ride's bogus, anyway.
Hey, wanna rent a video?
38
00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,360
{\an8}WALTER: Yeah.
Uh, race you home!
39
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:17,320
{\an8}WALTER: And, well, that night
sorta changed everything.
40
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:22,717
{\an8}It's The Muppet Show,
with our very special guest star, Mr. Steve Martin!
41
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,677
{\an8}(APPLAUSE ON TV)
WALTER: I found them.
42
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,797
{\an8}(GASPING)
WALTER: The Muppets.
43
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:32,437
{\an8}(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
44
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,117
{\an8}(INHALING)
45
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:37,197
{\an8}WALTER: I guess
you could say I was their number one fan.
46
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:41,437
{\an8}(GASPING) Oh, Gary,
it's an entire map of The Muppet Studios.
47
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,317
{\an8}(RATTLING)
(LAUGHS)
48
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,157
{\an8}(GASPING)
49
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,197
{\an8}WALTER: And they made
all the difference.
50
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,877
{\an8}KIDS: Trick or treat!
WALTER: Because from then on...
51
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,437
{\an8}Hey, guys.
Oh, hey, Gary.
52
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:55,357
{\an8}Hey.
Hi-ho, guys. Yay! (CHUCKLES)
53
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,597
{\an8}(LAUGHING)
54
00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,797
{\an8}BOY: Is that Kermit the Frog?
What is this, 1978?
55
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:05,557
{\an8}WALTER: ...even on the
worst days, I knew
56
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,997
{\an8}that as the years passed...
57
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,037
{\an8}(GASPS)
KERMIT: (ON TV) Cancel that last remark.
58
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,237
{\an8}WALTER: ...as long as
there are singing frogs and joking bears...
59
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:14,557
{\an8}(BOTH LAUGHING)
60
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:17,760
{\an8}WALTER: ...Swedish chefs
and boomerang fish,
61
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:21,317
{\an8}the world can't be such
a bad place after all.
62
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,077
{\an8}♪ Mahna mahna
♪ Do doo, do doo doo ♪
63
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,517
{\an8}All right, good night,
buddy.
64
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,837
{\an8}Oh, good night, Gary.
65
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:30,277
{\an8}WALTER: And as long
as there are Muppets...
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00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,360
{\an8}(YAWNING)
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00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,197
{\an8}WALTER: ...for me...
(ON TV) ...hair-growing tonic.
68
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,360
{\an8}WALTER: ...there's still
69
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,600
{\an8}hope.
70
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:46,040
(GASPS)
Ah! Bye-bye!
71
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:50,077
(LAUGHING)
KERMIT: Somebody get him!
72
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,757
Animal. Hey, Animal, come on.
The show's about to start.
73
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,280
Show! Show! (YELLS)
74
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,720
Hey, Walter,
why don't you join us?
75
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,640
MALE VOICE: Come on!
76
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,560
(GLASS SQUEAKING)
77
00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:07,757
No! Wait! I want to be
with you guys! Please let me in!
78
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,240
Kermit!
79
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:14,480
(SCREAMING, GASPING)
Whoa!
80
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,557
GARY:
Walter, are you okay, buddy?
81
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:18,037
You're drenched in sweat.
82
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:19,597
Did you have the dream again?
83
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,637
Um... no.
84
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,317
Uh, hey, so, uh, when
are you guys leaving today?
85
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,477
Oh, um, just
a couple hours now.
86
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:31,117
Oh, wow, Gary, I think
it is so cool you're taking Mary to Los Angeles.
87
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,717
(LAUGHS) I can't
believe you guys have been dating for 10 years.
88
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,437
I know. Yeah, she wanted
to do something special for this anniversary,
89
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,677
and she's always
wanted to see Los Angeles, so...
90
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,877
Hey, uh, don't forget
to send me a postcard from The Muppet Studios.
91
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,597
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
92
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:49,317
I can't do that, Walter.
But, Gary...
93
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,957
Because... you're
coming with us!
94
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,077
(GASPS) Oh, Gary!
95
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,917
But what about Mary?
She's fine. She said the more the merrier.
96
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,677
I... I don't know what to say!
97
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:05,055
The Muppet Studios are there,
Gary. I can't believe this!
98
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:07,517
Better get a move on.
We don't want to miss that bus!
99
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:11,797
No way! Who knows?
Maybe Kermit will be there.
100
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,437
I wouldn't get
your hopes up, buddy.
101
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,237
The Muppets haven't put
on a show together in years.
102
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,917
I don't think they use
the studios for anything but tours anymore.
103
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,557
Nah, I think that's
just an Internet rumor.
104
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,317
Like there's a
country called Turkey.
105
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,157
Walter, how many times
do we have to go over this?
106
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,197
Turkey is a very
real country. Wow, Muppet Studios.
107
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:29,437
I can't believe it!
108
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,157
(MUSIC PLAYING)
109
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,957
(BRUSHING RHYTHMICALLY)
110
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,797
♪ Everything is great
Everything is grand
111
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,360
♪ I got the whole wide world
in the palm of my hand
112
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:45,317
♪ Everything is perfect
It's falling into place
113
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,637
♪ I can't seem to wipe
this smile off my face
114
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:53,117
♪ Life's a happy song
when there's someone by my side to sing along
115
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,160
(BRUSHING, SPITTING)
116
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,800
♪ When you're alone
Life can be a little rough
117
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:03,357
♪ It makes you feel like
you're three foot tall
118
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:07,157
♪ When it's just you
Well, times can be tough
119
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:09,997
♪ When there's no one there
to catch your fall
120
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,637
(GRUNTS) Whoa!
121
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,280
(GRUNTS)
122
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,877
♪ Everything is great
Everything is grand
123
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,637
♪ I got the whole wide world
in the palm of my hand
124
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:25,277
♪ Everything is perfect
It's falling into place
125
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,877
♪ I can't seem to wipe
this smile off my face
126
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,717
♪ Life smells like a rose
♪ With someone to paint
127
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,837
♪ And someone to pose
♪ Life's a piece of cake
128
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,117
♪ With someone to pedal
♪ And someone to brake
129
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,717
♪ Life is full of glee
♪ With someone to saw
130
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,117
♪ And someone to see
♪ Life's a happy song
131
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:45,040
♪ When there's someone
by my side to sing along
132
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:51,957
♪ I've got everything
that I need
133
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,877
♪ Right in front of me
134
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,837
♪ Nothing's stoppin' me
135
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,757
♪ Nothin' that I can't be
136
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,077
♪ With you right
here next to me
137
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,477
♪ Life's a piece of cake
♪ With someone to give
138
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,157
♪ And someone to...
Heavy cake! ♪ Life's a piece of pie
139
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,437
♪ With someone to wash
♪ And someone to dry
140
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,597
♪ Life's an easy road
♪ With someone beside you
141
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,877
♪ To share the load
♪ Life is full of highs
142
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,277
♪ With someone to stir
♪ And someone to fry
143
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:16,677
♪ Life's a leg of lamb
144
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,920
♪ With someone there
to lend a hand
145
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,517
♪ Life's a bunch of flowers
146
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,437
♪ With someone to while away
the hours
147
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,957
♪ Life's a fillet of fish
148
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,397
♪ Yes, it is
Life's a happy song
149
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:33,160
♪ When there's someone by
your side to sing along
150
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,517
ALL: Oh...
151
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:49,637
♪ I've got everything
that I need
152
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:53,317
♪ Right in front of me
Nothing's
153
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:56,517
♪ Stoppin' me
Nothin' that I can't be
154
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,717
♪ With you right here
next to me
155
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:03,597
♪ I've got everything
that I need
156
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,800
♪ Right in front of me ♪
(MUSIC STOPS)
157
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,000
Sorry. I was super excited.
158
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,037
All right, Carlos.
Flip the ignition.
159
00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:14,557
(ENGINE STARTS)
160
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,197
And that is how you fix
a 12-volt starter.
161
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:20,197
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
Ah. You know what that means.
162
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,157
Spring break.
ALL: Aw!
163
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,797
It's okay. We'll be back
to studying in two weeks.
164
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,597
(ALL CHEERING)
165
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,597
GIRL: Have a nice vacation.
Bye. Have fun.
166
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,397
GIRL: Bye, Mr. Gary.
Have a good break, guys.
167
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,117
Hey, great job, Carlos.
Thanks.
168
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,517
Enjoy your anniversary dinner.
169
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,000
Hi.
Um, I got you these.
170
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,357
Oh. Sorry. Um...
171
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,517
It's probably from the
dance number I was doing.
172
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,637
It's okay.
They're really sweet.
173
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,677
You excited for our big trip
to LA? I have our list.
174
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,437
Me, too. (LAUGHS)
175
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,357
Oh, this is the
most romantic thing ever.
176
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,357
I've always dreamt
of seeing Los Angeles.
177
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,317
I know.
Walter can't wait either.
178
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,437
You don't mind that
he's coming, right?
179
00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:00,277
Um, no, no, of course not.
180
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:03,757
As long as we can spend our
anniversary dinner together. That's all I ask.
181
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:08,557
Totally. It's gonna
be the most romantic anniversary dinner ever.
182
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:12,677
I love you so much.
(SIGHS)
183
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,680
I love you, too.
I'm gonna go check on Walter.
184
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:23,357
♪ Everything's great
Everything's grand
185
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,557
♪ Except Gary's always off
with his friend
186
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:31,197
♪ It's never me and him
It's always me and him and him
187
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,640
♪ I wonder when
it's going to end
188
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:37,957
♪ But I guess that's okay
'Cause maybe someday
189
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,837
♪ I know just how
it's going to be
190
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:44,637
♪ He'll ride up on a steed
Get down on one knee
191
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:51,360
♪ And say
"Mary, will you marry me?"
192
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:58,480
♪ Please
193
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:02,760
Oh.
194
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:13,077
♪ I've got everything
that I need
195
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:14,557
♪ Right in front of me
196
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,640
♪ Nothing's stoppin' me
197
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,477
♪ Nothin' that I can't be
198
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:21,797
♪ With you right
here next to me
199
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:27,157
♪ You've got everything
that you need
200
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,917
♪ Right in front of you
201
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,917
♪ Nothing's stopping you
202
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:36,037
♪ Nothing that you can't do
that the world can throw at you
203
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,597
♪ Life's a happy song
♪ When there's someone by your side to sing
204
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:43,237
♪ Life's a happy song
♪ When there's someone by your side to sing
205
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:49,157
♪ Life's a happy song
when there's someone by your side to sing along ♪
206
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,237
(HORN HONKS)
207
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,800
MAN: Okay, they're gone!
(ALL GROAN)
208
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,157
WALTER: Hey, Gary,
what should we do first at Muppet Studio?
209
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,277
'Cause I was thinking
that maybe we could start at Fozzie's Joke Room, but...
210
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:09,277
Oh, no, wait, wait, wait.
The lines might be shorter at Honeydew's Laboratory of Fun,
211
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:14,240
so maybe we should
start there instead. I just... I just can't wait!
212
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,800
(POLICE SIREN WAILS)
213
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,517
Oh, Walter,
don't be nervous.
214
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:40,237
Oh, I know. I just
can't believe I'm here.
215
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,317
The home of the Muppets!
216
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:46,757
(WOMAN SPEAKING CHINESE)
217
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:50,560
What... What
happened to this place?
218
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,237
Wh... Where is everyone, Gary?
219
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:05,840
I don't know, buddy.
It's so... Oh...
220
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,160
Oh. Okay, well,
I guess you guys are it for today.
221
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:15,197
Ahem. Anyway, welcome to
the original Muppet Studio,
222
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,677
where dreams can come true.
223
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:20,357
(COUGHS)
(SPEAKING CHINESE)
224
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,800
Is this the
Universal Studios? Yes, it is.
225
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,440
Okay, now if you'll just
follow me, please.
226
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,917
Okay. This used to be
Kermit's office.
227
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,717
Whoa.
Mmm-hmm.
228
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,520
It's really the highlight
of the tour.
229
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,357
You should see it sometime.
230
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,557
Okay, this next building is
where they kept the rope
231
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:47,560
and the medium-gauge wire
for the productions. Let's go take a look.
232
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,160
GARY: Come on, buddy.
233
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,040
(WHISPERS) Wow!
234
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:18,560
Oh! Oh, boy.
235
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,120
Oh!
236
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,200
Whoa!
237
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,680
(GASPS)
(RATTLING)
238
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:46,117
There. Now this here is
Kermit the Frog's old office.
239
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,637
Or so we've been "toad."
(BOTH LAUGH)
240
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:53,677
Well, as you know, gentlemen,
I've loved the Muppets since I was a boy.
241
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:57,117
ALL: Mmm-hmm.
TEX: And what better way to honor the Muppets
242
00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:01,077
than to make this beautiful
studio a Muppet museum.
243
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,637
ALL: Mmm-hmm.
I think I'll call this room
244
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,797
the "Kermit the Frog's
Old Office Room."
245
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,877
Oh, that is lovely.
Oh, good one, Mr. Richman.
246
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:13,797
Now, this here is the standard
"Rich and Famous" contract
247
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,637
Kermit signed 30 years ago,
that contains...
248
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,397
The deed to this property.
Exactly.
249
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:25,757
Now, this contract
is 100 percent ironclad, with one minor exception.
250
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,357
If the Muppets can raise
the 10 million dollars it would cost
251
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:33,117
to buy the building before
this contract expires, then they get their studio back.
252
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,597
You know,
if I didn't know better,
253
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,317
I'd say you were
reciting some sort of an important plot point.
254
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,397
Well, I hope so.
Otherwise, I just bored the audience half to death.
255
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,757
You mean half the audience
is still alive?
256
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,677
(BOTH LAUGH)
It's nice doing business with you.
257
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,200
Yes, sir. Come on.
Goodbye.
258
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:50,917
Love geriatric humor.
259
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:55,797
Gentlemen, there's
oil under this studio.
260
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:59,157
(SNIFFS) Yeah, I can smell it.
261
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,877
And more importantly,
the geological survey says there definitely is.
262
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:06,197
Oh.
In two weeks, we tear this place to the ground
263
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,680
and start drilling.
Ah, those Muppets.
264
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,717
They think they're so funny.
265
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,517
Well, it looks like
the joke's about to be on them.
266
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,037
Maniacal laugh.
(LAUGHS)
267
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:23,357
Maniacal laugh.
(LAUGHING)
268
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,037
Maniacal laugh.
Maniacal laugh.
269
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:30,160
(GASPS)
Maniacal laugh.
270
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,557
(GASPING)
271
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,557
(SCREAMING)
272
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,477
GARY: Walter!
MARY: Walter?
273
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,917
GARY: Walter!
MARY: Walter!
274
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:43,000
(SCREAMING)
275
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:48,040
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
276
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,517
Yeah, so then, when he thought
they were alone, he said,
277
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,957
"There's oil under
this studio, see.
278
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,480
"I'm gonna tear it
to the ground, see.
279
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,077
"Sweet, sweet oil, see!"
People still talk like that?
280
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,077
Maybe that's just how
he sounded in my head.
281
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,757
Either way, we've
got to find Kermit! He'll know what to do.
282
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,917
How do we find Kermit?
Nobody's seen him in years.
283
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,237
WALTER: (GASPS) Stop the car!
I've got an idea!
284
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,397
ALL: Mmm!
285
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,117
These are delicious!
Mmm-hmm.
286
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,120
Great idea, Walter.
Mmm-hmm.
287
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,277
GARY: We've been doing
this for a long time.
288
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,597
I think maybe
we should call it a night.
289
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,277
MARY: Guys!
We can't give up, Gary.
290
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:37,637
I know, but it's getting
really late.
291
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,437
Maybe we should just
go back to the motel.
292
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,437
Guys!
It...
293
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:42,717
What?
What?
294
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:47,200
Maybe he lives there.
Oh. That's it.
295
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,480
So, what do we do now?
296
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:58,477
I don't see a doorbell.
And the house looks empty.
297
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,437
Gary, throw me over.
What?
298
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:04,157
Gary, just throw me
over already! Okay.
299
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,800
Okay, here we go. Okay...
One, two, three.
300
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,477
(CRACKING)
That's good.
301
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:10,717
(CRACKING)
GARY: Sorry!
302
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,077
WALTER: No, it's good.
Guys?
303
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,157
I think that's
an electric fence.
304
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,877
Mary, it's Kermit the Frog.
305
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,757
GARY: Okay, buddy,
head down. One,
306
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,677
two, three!
307
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,920
(SCREAMING)
308
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,917
It's an electric fence.
Yep.
309
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:34,677
Oh, my gosh. Walter?
Walter, buddy? Walter, can you hear me?
310
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,677
(WHISPERS) Throw me again.
No, I don't...
311
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,557
I don't think
that's a good idea.
312
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,357
What kind of throw was that?
Guys, I think there's somebody coming.
313
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,197
KERMIT: Excuse me.
314
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,760
(CHOIR SINGS)
315
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,840
You okay?
That was quite a tumble.
316
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:59,517
Oh, oh, oh. Look, look.
I think...
317
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,397
Hey. Hey, Walter?
318
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:02,837
Walter,
you all right, buddy?
319
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,717
Where am I?
320
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:09,320
Okay, this is awesome.
We're at Kermit's house.
321
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,917
Oh, jeez. Walter.
MARY: No, no, no, no, no. You okay?
322
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:17,080
Uh... This...
This is Kermit's house?
323
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,837
(GASPING)
Anyhow, how can I help you guys?
324
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:23,117
Let me just say,
this is an honor for all of us to meet you, sir, um,
325
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,237
but my brother Walter
has some really disturbing news for you.
326
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,957
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen. Not now, '80s Robot.
327
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,957
Might I offer
you a drink? Tab?
328
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,357
KERMIT: Good grief.
New Coke?
329
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,877
Listen. Not right now,
'80s Robot, please!
330
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,437
Bummer. Oh.
331
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,277
KERMIT: Watch out for the...
Gag me with a spoon.
332
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:43,480
Yeah, head for the door.
Grody to the max. Ow.
333
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,757
Ow.
334
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,197
I'm really sorry about
that... Ow.
335
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,077
...Walter.
Uh, what were you saying?
336
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,837
Uh, yes. Tex Richman,
the oil baron, is... Yes, yes, yes.
337
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:56,717
Oil baron Tex Richman,
the wealthy philanthropist.
338
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,277
You know, he's about to buy
our old Muppet Show theater
339
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:01,317
and turn it into
a Muppet museum. Isn't that great?
340
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:04,597
No! I mean...
I think what Walter's trying to tell you
341
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:08,597
is that Tex Richman
has a secret plan to tear down the theater and drill for oil.
342
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,037
What?
The only way to save the studio
343
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:13,317
is to raise
10 million dollars.
344
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,200
Ten million dollars?
That's impossible.
345
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,480
But...
The only way to raise that kind of money would be to...
346
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,997
Would be to put on a show.
347
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,957
And I haven't seen
the old gang
348
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,120
in a long, long time.
349
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,517
I guess people
sort of forgot about us.
350
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,080
Huh? Uh...
351
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:48,200
♪ Is there more
I could've said?
352
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:54,280
♪ Now they're only pictures
in my head
353
00:19:55,920 --> 00:20:00,040
♪ That's why my green
is feeling gray
354
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:07,317
♪ Sometimes even frogs
have rainy days
355
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:12,760
♪ Remember when
the stage caved in while you were rocking out?
356
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:20,440
♪ Who'd have thought your
smorgasbord would be hard to live without?
357
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,440
♪ If we could do it all again
358
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:31,600
♪ Just another chance
to entertain
359
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:38,080
♪ Would anybody watch
or even care?
360
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:43,960
♪ Or did something break
we can't repair?
361
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:51,400
♪ Your cannonball trajectory
It always gave me hope
362
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:57,480
♪ They may have been
unbearable, but I still loved your jokes
363
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:04,040
♪ Is there more
I could've said?
364
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:10,080
♪ Now they're only pictures
in my head
365
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:16,760
I didn't do it. I've been
framed! Ah! Wocka wocka!
366
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:21,080
Gonzo the Great
will ride this baby again!
367
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,960
(GIBBERISH)
368
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,397
This legato tune
is posolutely,
369
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,437
most transparently
bringing me down.
370
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:35,320
For sure.
One, two, and a half...
371
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:40,960
♪ Can we do it all again?
372
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:45,640
♪ Make 'em laugh
like we did then
373
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:51,400
(IN GIBBERISH) ♪ Back on
the stage where we belong (CHICKEN CLUCKS)
374
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:57,400
♪ We can harmonize
for one more song
375
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,360
♪ But I'm standing
here instead
376
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:10,437
♪ Now they're only
pictures in my head ♪
377
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:14,037
Well, it sounds like
you guys aren't getting back together anytime soon.
378
00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:17,797
Mmm-mmm.
This is going to be a really short movie.
379
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,957
But, Kermit,
you have to try.
380
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,917
I... The Muppets are amazing.
381
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,920
You give people the greatest
gift that can ever be given.
382
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,317
Children?
No, uh, the other gift.
383
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,000
Ice cream?
No, no. Uh, after that.
384
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,717
Um, laughter?
Yes!
385
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,797
The third greatest gift ever!
386
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:42,477
Kermit, your fans
never left you. The world hasn't forgotten.
387
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,477
All you need to do
is show 'em again!
388
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:50,957
Hmm. (CLEARS THROAT)
I don't think so, guys.
389
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,400
(SIGHS)
390
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,837
Don't you see, Kermit?
391
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,317
It's time to play the music.
392
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,517
♪ It's time
to light the lights
393
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,240
♪ It's time to meet
the Muppets... ♪
394
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:09,280
(PLAYS PIANO)
395
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,200
Please, Kermit.
396
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,520
You're my hero.
397
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,440
You're on my watch.
398
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:26,477
Well, I, uh...
399
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,720
I guess
400
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:31,277
we could try.
401
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:33,397
We?
Well, yeah, listen.
402
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,717
If I'm gonna do this,
I'm gonna need some moral support.
403
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:39,757
Well, that's perfect.
We're experts at moral support.
404
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,797
Yeah!
Good. I guess if we're gonna go,
405
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,037
we better get going.
We got a lot of people to find.
406
00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:47,277
Oh, great! But wait,
how do we find 'em?
407
00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:49,997
Didn't you see
our first movie?
408
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:51,640
We drive.
409
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,600
(GARY NUMAN'S "CARS" PLAYING)
410
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:08,597
So where do we go first?
I shall take the liberty
411
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,197
of using my modem
to locate the Muppets.
412
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:12,997
(DIAL TONE, DIALING)
Okay.
413
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,237
(LOUD STATIC)
Oh, stop it!
414
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,157
In the name of all
that's sacred, let it end!
415
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,000
R-E-N-O. That spells "Reno."
416
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:27,840
You have reached
your destination. My guidance ends here.
417
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,597
KERMIT: Well, I guess
this is the place.
418
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:41,997
FOZZIE: Good evening, folks,
and welcome to Pechoolo Casino!
419
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,957
♪ Why are there
such great deals
420
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,517
♪ On our hotel rooms?
421
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,600
♪ Free parking for cars
422
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:56,520
♪ Not RVs
♪ Not RVs
423
00:24:56,640 --> 00:25:00,637
♪ Our wedding chapel
is 24 hours
424
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,397
♪ No marriage
certificate is needed
425
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,277
♪ No marriage certificate
is needed
426
00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:07,360
♪ We're glad you found it
427
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,280
♪ Pechoolo Casino
428
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:17,637
♪ The owners, the Moopets
and me
429
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:18,797
♪ Cha cha cha ♪
430
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,157
Thank you, thank you.
431
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,877
We'll be back in six minutes.
432
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,240
Mmm.
433
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,357
Hi-ho, Fozzie.
Hi-ho, Kermit.
434
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,117
Kermit? (STUTTERING)
What are you doing here?
435
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,717
Uh, well, I...
I just want to tell you that was a great, uh, show.
436
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,797
Uh, it was, uh, uh...
very informative.
437
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:41,677
I do my best to
keep it fresh each night.
438
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:43,317
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I'm Fozzie, by the way.
439
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,517
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
Uh, this is Gary and Mary.
440
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,397
And this here is Walter.
Uh, he's a personal friend.
441
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:53,160
Yeah.
So I said, "What are you looking at?"
442
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,163
So I punched him
in the face! I mean... (LAUGHTER)
443
00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,760
Let's talk
in my dressing room. Uh, sure.
444
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,280
Here we are.
445
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:05,277
Make yourselves at home.
446
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:07,677
(DOG BARKING)
Wow.
447
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,877
Huh. This is, uh, not
quite what I expected,
448
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:14,717
based on your
Christmas cards. Oh, yeah. Uh, about that...
449
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,797
Oh, oh, but it's nice.
And... And airy.
450
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,837
Maybe we should
give them some space.
451
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:23,680
I know, but I just wanna hear
what they're gonna say. Okay.
452
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:28,157
Fozzie, an evil oil baron
wants to tear down our old Muppet studio.
453
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,557
What? Oh, no!
(GUNSHOT)
454
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,477
I mean, uh, that's a shame.
(GUNFIRE, POLICE SIREN)
455
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:36,717
POLICEMAN: Step
out of the vehicle!
456
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,517
Hey, Fozzie...
457
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,677
Um, I'm sorry I haven't
been in touch more.
458
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:45,437
It's fine, Kermit. Look at me!
Living the dream!
459
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,557
(THUNDER CRASHES)
Uh-oh.
460
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,237
Oh, no! Not this again!
461
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,157
Quick, save the cushions!
The cushions?
462
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,000
(GRUNTING)
463
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:58,840
I'm sorry, Fozzie.
464
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,277
If I'd known you were here
in this place...
465
00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:04,357
That's all right, Kermit.
It's not your fault.
466
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:08,317
We had a good run.
Yeah.
467
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,237
Yeah, it's just that...
468
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:15,277
Well, we haven't seen
each other in a really long time, and I...
469
00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:18,397
I just thought maybe
we could raise the money to buy the theater back
470
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,677
if we all got together
and put on one last show.
471
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:25,517
A show? But I've spent years
building a solo career.
472
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,720
I have a whole new show-biz
family that loves me.
473
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:32,877
Fozzie! What the heck
are you doing, hibernating?
474
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,997
Next show starts
in 30 seconds.
475
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:40,720
We hired you,
and we can fire you, so get your butt in here now!
476
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:42,797
(BOTH GRUNT)
477
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,520
They terrify me. Let's go.
Hmm, let's go.
478
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:49,717
KERMIT: Watch out
for the forklift, Fozzie.
479
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,080
FOZZIE: Thanks.
480
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,280
Wow! Gonzo's
doing really well!
481
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:58,677
According to '80s Robot,
he's the richest plumbing magnate in the Rust Belt.
482
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:02,157
You! Order 28,000 tons of
plumber's putty from Beijing.
483
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,557
MAN: Right away, sir.
And, you, send the 28,000 tons
484
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,405
of Silly Putty
back to Beijing.
485
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,237
MAN: You bet.
Oh, and you?
486
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:11,437
A memo to the waterless
toilet department.
487
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,197
I don't care about the mess,
just keep trying.
488
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:18,720
Hi, Gonzo.
Uh... Kermit? Fozzie? This is a surprise.
489
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:22,237
Uh, we need to speak to you.
All right. Have a seat.
490
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,720
Ah! Thank you!
491
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:29,877
I think I'll stand.
No, really, you should try one! Comfy.
492
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:31,597
It's our executive line
of used toilets.
493
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,357
ALL: Mmm...
Anyway, I'm very busy.
494
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,397
I've got 30 seconds. Go.
(TICKING)
495
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,437
Uh, Gonzo, I'm not quite
sure how to say this, but...
496
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:41,277
Don't forget to mention
the evil oil baron.
497
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:43,557
Yes, Fozzie, I was about to.
Just give me a moment, okay?
498
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,917
Uh, Gonzo, it would appear...
499
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,517
Remember, evil oil baron.
500
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,917
Fozzie, I'm going
to get to that. Please!
501
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,437
As I was trying to say...
Evil oil baron.
502
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,637
(BUZZER RINGS)
Okay, time's up. Thank you, guys.
503
00:28:55,720 --> 00:29:00,477
Gonzo, we're trying
to get the old gang back together again.
504
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:04,440
We really need you.
My answer is no. Good day!
505
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:06,520
Hmm.
506
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,760
Uh, come on, guys.
We should go.
507
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:16,877
I just want to say,
when I was a kid, I saw you recite Hamlet
508
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,477
while jumping your motorbike
through a flaming hoop,
509
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:23,517
and it made me feel
like I could do anything.
510
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:26,480
Thank you. Yeah.
511
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,720
(CLUCKING) Gonzo...
512
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:35,168
You don't have
to pretend anymore. I know what you really want.
513
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:41,397
Good try, Walter.
GONZO: Hey, guys, up here!
514
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,757
Yee-haw!
Huh?
515
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:47,560
I've been wearing this
under my suit every single day for years!
516
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,677
Look out below! Whoo-hoo!
517
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:54,157
Whoa, where you going?
You threw me off-balance!
518
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:57,360
I can't see! Apollo 13!
519
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,600
(CLUCKING)
(GONZO GROANING)
520
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,397
Citizens of Earth,
the Great Gonzo is back.
521
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:08,560
I pledge never to hold
a plunger again!
522
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,597
(BEEPING)
Run!
523
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:14,677
Run! Run for your lives!
Run, run, run!
524
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,357
(SHOUTING)
Run, guys!
525
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,077
(CLUCKING)
Run!
526
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:20,677
Oh, my gosh, run everybody!
527
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:24,080
It's gonna be big!
It's gonna be a big one!
528
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:31,720
(COUGHING)
529
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,957
Wow! That was an
expensive looking explosion!
530
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,452
I can't believe
we had that in the budget.
531
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,637
WOMAN: So maybe if you
look inside yourself,
532
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:49,637
the person you should
be most angry at is you. It's you.
533
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:53,480
How have you been feeling?
Any more control issues?
534
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,477
In control.
535
00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:59,597
Good.
KERMIT: Psst! Animal!
536
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,997
WOMAN: Excellent.
It's me, Kermit.
537
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,077
Hey, we're having
a meeting here, man.
538
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:06,997
You're being
really rude, frog!
539
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:10,669
Pardon us, please.
Animal, I need to talk to you for a second.
540
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:14,717
We're getting the
Muppets back together. We need you to drum again.
541
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:16,360
Animal drum?
Yes!
542
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,517
Please, sir.
Drum! Drum, drum!
543
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,920
Drum, drum, drum!
Okay, okay.
544
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,320
In control.
Good.
545
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,717
I'm Animal's
court-appointed sponsor.
546
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,957
We don't use
the "d-r-u-m" word.
547
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,157
It's his trigger word.
His trigger word?
548
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,517
Excuse me, Mr. Black.
I'm so sorry to interrupt,
549
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:37,637
but it's very important
to these guys that they get their drummer...
550
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:38,757
Gary!
551
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:40,517
It's my trigger word, too.
552
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:44,437
Jack, we talked
about this on Tuesday.
553
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,877
Tuesday's another one
of my trigger words!
554
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,760
Oh! Oh, I don't think so!
555
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,037
Sorry.
556
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:53,997
Let's go, Animal.
ANIMAL: Bye-bye!
557
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,437
Animal, heel.
Go, Animal! Be free, man!
558
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:00,960
But remember! No drumming!
559
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,357
'80S ROBOT: Mr. Kermit,
may I suggest we save time
560
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:07,637
and pick up the rest of the
Muppets using a montage?
561
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,877
KERMIT: Ah, great idea,
'80s Robot.
562
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,517
(PLAYS GUITAR CHORD)
We greatly appreciate
563
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,317
your financial support.
Whoa!
564
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,717
'80S ROBOT: Eighty-seven
point three miles to go.
565
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,317
Eighty-seven point two...
KERMIT: '80s Robot,
566
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:19,717
do you have to do that?
567
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:21,597
...the secrets
of the universe...
568
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,237
Whoa! (SCREECHING)
569
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:27,557
(SHOUTING)
570
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:28,877
I guess we're in.
571
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,397
(AC/DC'S "BACK IN BLACK"
PLAYING)
572
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,237
{\an8}Welcome to this week's edition
573
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:36,560
{\an8}of Everything Stinks. Whoa!
574
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:41,717
Bye, Lisa. Off to the
TED Conference. Whoa!
575
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,840
Three, two, one.
576
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,397
Think we should've
rented a bigger car?
577
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:53,437
Hey, wait for me!
I wanna help save the studio!
578
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:58,080
I wanna go with you!
Oh, not again.
579
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,277
Wow. I can't believe
we're all back together.
580
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:02,997
Even all you guys who
weren't in the montage!
581
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:06,517
Yeah, uh, how come
you didn't use me in the montage?
582
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,437
I thought my story
was pretty interesting.
583
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:09,957
(SNORING)
Rowlf?
584
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,557
Huh? What?
Wanna get back together?
585
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:13,677
Okay.
Good.
586
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:15,600
(LAUGHS) Classic.
587
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,597
Anyhow, looks
like we got everybody,
588
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:20,077
so we can plan our
telethon and raise that 10 million dollars.
589
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:21,917
Well, not everybody.
No, I think everybody's here.
590
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,517
Where's...
All good!
591
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:25,037
Miss...
All done here!
592
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:26,317
Piggy?
593
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:29,197
Kermit, we're going
to get Miss Piggy, right?
594
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,037
Okay, okay, okay,
you're right. We'll go get Piggy!
595
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,677
(PHONE DIALING)
My Minitel tells me
596
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,717
she is in Paris, France.
597
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:38,597
Oh! Well,
then we drive to France.
598
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:40,317
You can't drive to France,
Walter.
599
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,477
Yeah. It's way too far.
600
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:44,637
Then maybe
we should travel by map!
601
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:46,880
Good idea, Fozzie.
ALL: Yeah!
602
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:03,557
(PEOPLE SHOUTING IN FRENCH)
603
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:05,757
(GASPING)
604
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:07,677
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
605
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,317
ALL: To Paris!
606
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,520
Paris! Paris!
607
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:28,997
WALTER: Look
at these ceilings!
608
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:30,877
FOZZIE: Yeah. They
must be very tall here.
609
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,237
KERMIT: Yeah, very nice.
610
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,197
Uh, hi there.
611
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,917
Uh, excuse me.
612
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:42,957
Uh, miss?
Uh, pardon me, ma'am?
613
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,757
Hi there!
Uh, we're here to see Miss Piggy, and it's urgent.
614
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,037
Mmm-hmm.
Urgent! Urgent!
615
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:50,037
Is it urgent?
Very. Yes.
616
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:51,277
Let's have a look then,
shall we?
617
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:55,837
She has an opening in
618
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,517
early September.
Early September?
619
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,277
That's like
six months from now!
620
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,277
That's nothing. Once I waited
a whole year for September.
621
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:07,237
She is the plus-size editor.
She's a huge deal and extremely busy.
622
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,117
You can't just pop in
without an appointment.
623
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,397
Oh. Okay, then.
Thank you.
624
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,277
WOMAN: All right.
ANIMAL: Mean lady.
625
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:16,077
Close the door
on your way out. KERMIT: Thanks a lot.
626
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,997
She wasn't very nice.
KERMIT: Yeah.
627
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:21,117
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
628
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,440
Guys! Muppet Man!
Huh?
629
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:25,917
Yeah!
Huh?
630
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,824
(ALL MURMURING)
That could work!
631
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,080
(KNOCKING)
632
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,320
Hello.
633
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:39,840
(MUPPETS GROANING)
634
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,437
I have an appointment.
635
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,117
Oh. Okay.
636
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:51,077
Um, will you
wait here a moment?
637
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:53,957
MISS PIGGY:
Decisions, decisions.
638
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:58,877
Eeny, meeny, miny, mo.
I choose you. (LAUGHS)
639
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,520
(CHEWING)
Mademoiselle Cochonnet?
640
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,357
Can't you see I'm busy?
Of course.
641
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:08,117
There's a, um,
man here to see you.
642
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,837
He does have an appointment.
643
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:12,837
An appointment? That's weird.
644
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:14,797
Well, why didn't you say so?
Send him in!
645
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,320
Right away. Sorry.
646
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,517
(LAUGHS)
Remember, left foot, right foot.
647
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:23,677
Hello.
648
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,197
Whoa! Oh, what?
649
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,357
(GLASS SHATTERS)
Oop, sorry.
650
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:28,797
That looked expensive.
651
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:31,280
Wah!
652
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:37,117
Whoa! Oh! (SIGHS)
653
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:41,797
You look familiar.
So do you!
654
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,640
Whoa!
Please, have a seat.
655
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,237
Yes, we're going
to have a seat now.
656
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:50,237
No, no, no, don't sit down!
Oh, sorry! Whoa!
657
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,877
Uh-oh! Message to head.
Left leg in trouble!
658
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,757
Going down.
Left leg going down!
659
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:57,037
What?
660
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:58,517
Oh!
661
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,080
(GRUNTING)
662
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,437
I can't believe
I fell for Muppet Man.
663
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:06,440
MARY: You guys okay?
GARY: Is anyone hurt?
664
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:09,320
Kermit?
665
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,717
Hello, Piggy.
Kermie!
666
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:17,757
Oh, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie,
Kermie, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie!
667
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:20,197
Mmm. Kissy-kissy, mmm-mmm.
668
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:25,077
Wait! What am I doing?
I promised myself I'd never go back!
669
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:29,757
I am woman! I am strong!
You must leave at once!
670
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:31,357
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
Okay.
671
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,597
No, no, wait, wait!
672
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:37,117
Miss Piggy! The Muppet Studios
are in danger.
673
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:41,037
In danger?
Our studios? Kermit!
674
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:45,877
It's true, Piggy.
And we need to do The Muppet Show again.
675
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:49,637
We need you.
Oh.
676
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:55,397
Before I decide anything,
I need to talk with you, frog.
677
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,480
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
678
00:37:58,560 --> 00:37:59,960
Alone.
679
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:10,277
Piggy? Last time
we were together,
680
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:12,237
I said some things I regret.
681
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,877
No. No, Kermit.
You were just being honest.
682
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:17,917
You never intended
to marry me.
683
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,237
Not even
after I built us a house
684
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,717
where we could raise tadpoles
and grow old together.
685
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:26,597
Well, who do you think's
been looking after that house all these years, huh?
686
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:30,397
Piggy, why do you
have to always be so overdramatic about things?
687
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,677
You know, it leaves me
no choice but to do things that hurt you.
688
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:36,317
I am who I am.
Why can't you accept that about me?
689
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,037
Look, this is not
about you and me.
690
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,117
It's never about
you and me, is it?
691
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:42,797
It's always "we."
"We" this, "we" that.
692
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:47,597
"We need you."
You can't even say, "I need you," can you?
693
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,237
Piggy, uh...
694
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:53,317
I'm sorry, Kermit,
but I have a life here.
695
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:57,280
A life I've made for myself.
696
00:38:57,640 --> 00:38:59,277
Oh. Piggy!
697
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:04,640
Just remember, Kermit,
I cannot be replaced.
698
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:16,957
Kermit? What happened?
Where's Miss Piggy?
699
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:18,357
She's not coming, Fozzie.
700
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,317
(ALL GASPING)
But, Kermit,
701
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:24,117
we always worked together.
We can't do this without Miss Piggy.
702
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,197
No one would
give us a show without her.
703
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,400
We'll be fine, Fozzie.
704
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:31,957
We'll be fine.
705
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:33,680
We just...
706
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,786
We'll just have to
come up with something else.
707
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,160
(SIGHS) Kermie.
708
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:48,997
Hmm...
709
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:52,517
KERMIT:
Okay, I've got an idea. We need a pig that can sing.
710
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,797
FOZZIE: But, Kermit,
who could possibly replace Miss Piggy?
711
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:59,586
(GEORGE THOROGOOD AND THE
DESTROYERS' "BAD TO THE BONE" PLAYING)
712
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:07,357
(SCRAPING)
713
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,400
Hey, what's everybody
so quiet about, huh?
714
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,717
Well, she's sorta
like Miss Piggy.
715
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:18,742
Come on, everybody. Let's go
pitch our telethon and get the Muppets back on TV, okay?
716
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,080
No.
No.
717
00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:24,557
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
(ALL GASPING)
718
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:27,160
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, that's wonderful!
719
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,517
That means "no."
(SILENCES)
720
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,397
Oh.
Uh, come on, guys.
721
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,080
Awkward.
(ALL SIGH)
722
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,717
Listen, Kermit, I like you.
723
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,717
I remember you guys
from when I was a kid.
724
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:43,317
(ALL MURMURING)
So I'm gonna shoot straight.
725
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:46,597
You guys aren't
famous anymore. Yeesh!
726
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,717
I wish she'd shot
a little more curvy.
727
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,917
Take a look at this
diagram the research department drew up.
728
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:57,077
This circle represents
everything that's currently popular.
729
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,517
And this tiny speck
is you guys.
730
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,037
So the answer's no.
It's not gonna happen.
731
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,917
Take a look at the shows
that are popular now. Punch Teacher.
732
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:10,357
Ooh, I love that show.
It's time to punch teacher!
733
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:11,637
(ALL CHEERING)
HOST: Finish him!
734
00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:13,080
It's my favorite.
735
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:14,277
MAN: I just thought
736
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,040
I could make a difference.
737
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:17,637
I'm sorry, but in this market,
738
00:41:17,720 --> 00:41:20,544
you guys are
no longer relevant. Have a good day.
739
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:23,520
(ALL MUMBLING)
740
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:34,197
Before I go,
I'd just like to say something.
741
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,957
I think kids are smarter
and better than all this junk, and if you...
742
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,277
Whoa!
Veronica, bad news.
743
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:41,637
Punch Teacher
has stopped production.
744
00:41:41,720 --> 00:41:43,557
It's being sued by
the Teachers Society of America.
745
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:47,957
What's their problem?
No idea. I just found out.
746
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,637
What are we supposed to do
with that 120-minute black hole
747
00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:54,280
in the schedule
coming up in two days?
748
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:55,920
(ALL GASPING)
749
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:59,317
Okay, Muppets.
You've got yourselves a show.
750
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,637
Oh, yes!
(ALL CHEERING)
751
00:42:01,720 --> 00:42:05,317
Thank you so much.
You will not be sorry, I promise, I promise!
752
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:09,277
Okay, enough! One, no more
going nuts in my office. These are new carpets.
753
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,477
Yes, ma'am.
And two, you need a celebrity host.
754
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:15,800
Okay. Whatever, whatever.
Come on, guys, let's go. Yeah!
755
00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:20,557
BOBO: Let me wipe that down.
756
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:21,717
DEADLY: You've
missed a spot.
757
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:23,597
I don't see it.
Just a little lower! Ah!
758
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:25,637
Oh, I am so sorry.
Did I get you... Yes.
759
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:30,237
Well, gentlemen. It appears
we have some competition
760
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:31,960
on the Muppet property.
761
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:35,997
The Economist says they've
gotten back together again.
762
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:38,077
The Muppets got back together?
763
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:39,477
Ooh, ooh, remember?
764
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,797
♪ Together again
Gee, it's good to be... ♪
765
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:43,040
Gentlemen, please!
766
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,677
(WHIMPERS)
No singing in my office!
767
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:47,357
Yes, sir.
But, of course, it was all his fault.
768
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:49,917
Mostly his fault.
No matter.
769
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:54,720
Point is that studio
and that oil belong to me.
770
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:58,717
Yeah, those Muppets are gonna
be running home with their tails between their legs.
771
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:02,277
Some of 'em literally.
Because those ones have tails.
772
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:06,077
Maniacal laugh,
maniacal laugh.
773
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,717
(LAUGHING)
774
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,880
That's a maniacal
laugh moment.
775
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:13,717
KERMIT: Okay, this is it.
776
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,237
'80s Robot,
let's park around back.
777
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:19,517
(CHAIN RATTLES)
778
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:21,440
Oh.
779
00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:38,917
KERMIT: It's The
Muppet Show, with our special guest star, Mr. Bob Hope!
780
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,637
(APPLAUSE)
ANNOUNCER: Time once again for Veterinarian's Hospital,
781
00:43:42,720 --> 00:43:45,277
the continuing story of...
782
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,640
And now, Pigs in Space!
783
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:53,517
Gary. Can you believe it?
784
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,000
The Muppet Theater.
785
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,800
Yeah.
786
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:03,117
Welcome back, everyone.
Thanks.
787
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,757
Well, I know the old place
is not quite at its best right now.
788
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:08,637
Yeah! Who canceled
the maid service? (LAUGHS)
789
00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:10,597
But don't worry.
We'll be fine.
790
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:15,157
Uh, Kermit, there's no way
we can rehearse with the place like this.
791
00:44:15,240 --> 00:44:17,597
Wait. Kermit,
don't say another word.
792
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:21,597
Mary, Walter and I, well,
we would be happy to help you rebuild the theater.
793
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:24,557
Honestly, it would be
an honor for all three of us. So would.
794
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,877
Okay. Well, let's
clean this place up!
795
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:28,360
ALL: Yeah!
796
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:33,517
(HUMMING)
797
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:36,877
This is boring.
But don't you guys remember?
798
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:40,240
You're the Muppets!
You do this to music!
799
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:43,397
Well, all right!
(STARSHIP'S "WE BUILT THIS CITY" PLAYING)
800
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:45,557
♪ We built this city
801
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:49,357
♪ We built this city
on rock and roll
802
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,277
♪ Built this city
803
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,477
Hey, Animal!
Yeah?
804
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:59,157
Look what I found!
Ah!
805
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:00,837
♪ We built this city
806
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:05,917
♪ We built this city
on rock and roll
807
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,437
♪ Built this city
(WHISTLING)
808
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:13,837
♪ We built this city
on rock and roll
809
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:17,517
Beauregard!
Scooter! Good to see you!
810
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:20,360
Uh, where's everybody been?
811
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:23,757
Celebrity... Celebrity!
812
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:27,037
Hello! Yes. Could I speak
with President Carter, please?
813
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:28,117
Oh, he moved, huh?
814
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:29,597
Well, you don't happen
to have a number where I could reach...
815
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:30,757
(DIAL TONE)
Hello?
816
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:32,517
Walter, I thought
we were gonna clean the balcony.
817
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,957
Doing a great job, pal.
You're doing a great job. Wocka wocka.
818
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:37,197
Hey, guys!
819
00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:39,357
Look at these old photos
I just found.
820
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:43,517
(ALL MURMURING)
Ah, can you believe that '80s haircut I used to have?
821
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,957
I looked totally ridiculous!
822
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,317
♪ Don't you remember
823
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,117
♪ We built this city
824
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:52,477
Yes, it's Kermit. The frog.
825
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:54,637
Could you come
to our celebrity telethon this weekend?
826
00:45:54,720 --> 00:45:56,557
Sure. Sure, I understand.
827
00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:59,557
♪ We built this city
828
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:05,877
♪ We built this city
on rock and roll
829
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,357
(BABBLING)
830
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:10,117
Hey, shut the door!
What is that?
831
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:13,280
(GIBBERISH)
832
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:21,640
(CHUCKLES)
♪ We built this city on rock and roll
833
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:23,397
♪ We built this city
834
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:25,077
♪ Ah
835
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:28,277
♪ We built this city
on rock and roll
836
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:31,437
♪ Built this city
(SCREAMING)
837
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:37,520
♪ We built this city
on rock and roll ♪
838
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:43,437
Wow! Great job, everybody!
839
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:45,877
Oh, hey, Kermit. Listen,
um, have a great night,
840
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,717
and I just want you
to know, Walter and I are really good sewers,
841
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:50,877
so we'll have those costumes
ready for you in no time.
842
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:54,317
Oh, good. Well,
you two have a great night. Okay. Thank you!
843
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:56,557
Bye.
ROWLF: Uh, Kermit?
844
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,117
Gary, I was kind of hoping
that we could go to the beach tomorrow
845
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:02,277
or see the Hollywood Sign.
We'll have plenty of time to do that stuff.
846
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:06,880
It's just, right now,
I don't wanna leave Walter. You know, he needs me.
847
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:10,797
I don't know, sweetheart.
He seems pretty happy.
848
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:12,677
(LAUGHTER)
FOZZIE: Like that.
849
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,037
WALTER: Oh, okay.
FOZZIE: Now you.
850
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:18,040
Yeah, that's it!
Yeah, yeah, good job!
851
00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:21,477
Well, just one more day, okay?
And then I'm all yours.
852
00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:24,637
Tell you what.
Why don't you get a head start on sightseeing tomorrow,
853
00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:27,637
and then I'll be waiting
for you when you get back.
854
00:47:27,720 --> 00:47:31,317
Okay. Just...
Don't forget about me.
855
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:33,040
Never.
(LAUGHS)
856
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:35,117
Well, we're still on
for dinner Friday, right?
857
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:36,277
Yeah, of course.
858
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:38,037
Oh, Walter!
Oh, yes, Kermit.
859
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:39,997
Hey, listen, Walter,
I just wanna tell you
860
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:42,237
that none of this would
have happened without you, so thank you.
861
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:45,197
Oh, well...
Oh. And, uh, welcome aboard.
862
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:47,517
Night, everybody. Just sleep
anywhere you can find a spot.
863
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:49,800
"Welcome aboard"?
864
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:56,600
(GROANING)
865
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,720
(CLUCKING)
(SIGHS)
866
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:08,077
(SNORING)
Hey, Kermit. You awake?
867
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:12,637
Yep.
What's the weather supposed to be like tonight?
868
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:14,957
I don't know. Why?
869
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:18,960
Oh. I just don't want it
to rain through the hole in the ceiling.
870
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,400
Oh. Stars sure
are pretty, though.
871
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:24,517
FOZZIE: We're gonna
be okay, right?
872
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:26,680
We haven't done this
in a long time,
873
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:31,397
and I really don't
wanna go back to Reno.
874
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:33,157
Don't worry, Fozzie.
We'll be fine.
875
00:48:33,240 --> 00:48:36,037
Look how we cleaned this place
up today, you know?
876
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:38,917
Same old team,
all pulling together.
877
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:43,357
I guess you're right.
Night-night, Kermit.
878
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:46,160
Good night, Fozzie.
(SIGHS)
879
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,877
KERMIT: Okay, gather round,
troops!
880
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:54,357
Everybody, time to get
this rehearsal going.
881
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:56,877
Scooter, is everybody here?
Almost everyone, chief.
882
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:59,880
Yeah...
Hey, uh, anybody got any kerosene?
883
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,797
I wanna take these
old pig dresses out back and burn 'em.
884
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:06,800
MISS PIGGY:
Hold it right there, sausage snout!
885
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:10,640
Piggy?
Huh?
886
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:15,917
Well, look what
the cat dragged in.
887
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:17,597
Come on.
Keep it up, Maurice.
888
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:23,320
Sorry, Miss Piggy,
but you've been replaced... Permanently.
889
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:26,877
Oh, yeah?
Yeah!
890
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:31,317
I don't think so... Sister?
891
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:35,117
Who you calling
"sister," sister?
892
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,277
Oh, look, an omelet station!
Oh, where?
893
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:39,197
Hi-yah!
Ah!
894
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:43,677
There's only one Miss Piggy,
and she is moi.
895
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:47,437
Yeah, well, you ain't seen
the last of me!
896
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:48,957
I'll be back!
897
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:50,797
Yeah, yeah.
Heard of mouthwash?
898
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:53,477
Welcome back, Miss Piggy.
899
00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:56,277
All right, all right,
don't crowd me!
900
00:49:56,360 --> 00:50:00,277
Wow, she sure hasn't changed.
901
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:02,277
Piggy? You came back.
902
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:06,557
I'm not here for you, Kermit.
I'm here for them.
903
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:07,797
(DOOR CLOSES)
904
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:10,240
And besides,
when this show's done,
905
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:14,037
I'm catching the next plane
back to my life in Paris.
906
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:17,317
Okay, Piggy, okay.
Uh, places for the opening number, everybody!
907
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:18,720
(MISS PIGGY GROWLS)
908
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:21,677
KERMIT: Oh, good morning,
Veronica.
909
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:25,357
Morning, Frog.
Okay, everybody, let's take it from the top.
910
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:28,917
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh!
911
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:32,037
You missed your cue.
I know!
912
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,837
There's kind of
a rhythm to this, you know?
913
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:37,837
Ah! Oh,
and if you like that one,
914
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:40,440
what's the bear capital
of the world?
915
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:42,797
Mos-cow! Ah!
916
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:46,040
(LAUGHS)
(EXPLOSION)
917
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:48,800
Ha!
918
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:52,597
♪ It's time to play the music
919
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:55,037
♪ It's time to light
the lights Two, three, four.
920
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,037
♪ It's time to put on makeup
921
00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:59,120
♪ It's time
to dress up right ♪
922
00:50:59,240 --> 00:51:01,917
Hey guys, stop. Cut, cut, cut,
cut, cut. What's the problem?
923
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,837
We can't keep time without
the drums, man! We need drums!
924
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:09,197
Oh! Sorry, Animal.
No drums! No drums!
925
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:13,197
Jack Black said no drums!
Animal, heel! Sit!
926
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:16,277
(SIGHS) Who's next?
ANIMAL: In control.
927
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:18,437
Oh. Hey, Walter?
928
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:20,520
Oh. Uh, yes, Kermit?
929
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:22,197
You think you might
wanna help us out here?
930
00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:23,677
Maybe do something
in the show?
931
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:27,440
Kermit, you know,
you've been so nice to me,
932
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:29,917
but I have to face the facts.
933
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:32,597
See, the Muppets
are so talented...
934
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:35,077
Hey, guys, check it out!
Fart shoes!
935
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,917
(FARTING SOUNDS)
Patent pending!
936
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,960
And... I don't
have any talent at all.
937
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:46,237
The truth is... (SIGHS)
I can't perform with you guys.
938
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:49,037
I feel like a phony
just being here.
939
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:52,157
Walter, just because
you haven't found your talent yet,
940
00:51:52,240 --> 00:51:53,557
doesn't mean
you don't have one.
941
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:59,480
If you look inside yourself,
I'm sure you'll find something that you're really good at.
942
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:03,797
Okay, Kermit. I'll try.
943
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:04,960
Oh.
944
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:12,160
WOMAN: Take my picture!
945
00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,757
Welcome.
How many in your party? Two?
946
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:22,677
Uh, no, just the one.
947
00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:25,597
(LAUGHS) All right,
party of one, follow me.
948
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:27,520
(MUSIC PLAYING)
949
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:32,397
♪ I look around,
and once again I'm on my own
950
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:36,317
♪ My man ain't here
He's gone and done me wrong
951
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:39,117
♪ No one's gonna stop
this girl from having fun
952
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:42,997
♪ I throw my hands up high
and have a party for one
953
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:47,077
♪ I'm having a me party
A party by myself
954
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:50,517
♪ A me party
I don't need nobody else
955
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:54,517
♪ A me party
I'm the first and last to show
956
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:58,477
♪ There's no one at this party
that I don't already know
957
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:02,357
♪ I'm not gonna sit around
by myself and wait for you
958
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:06,080
♪ Haven't you heard?
One is the new two
959
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:09,157
♪ I'm gonna make a scene
I'm gonna make a fuss
960
00:53:09,240 --> 00:53:13,680
♪ Tonight I'm gonna celebrate
with just the one of us
961
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:18,317
♪ I'm having a me party
Haven't I seen me here before?
962
00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:22,640
♪ A me party
I'm the last one on the dance floor
963
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:26,037
♪ Me party
♪ A party just for moi
964
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:29,837
♪ Me party
♪ It's a solo Mardi Gras
965
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:33,440
♪ I'm having a me party
I'm such good company
966
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:37,437
♪ A me party
♪ I saved the last dance for me
967
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:40,677
♪ Ooh
♪ Ooh
968
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:46,517
♪ What happens at a me party
stays at a me party ♪
969
00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:50,760
Excuse me, miss, are you
expecting anyone else?
970
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:53,037
Oh... No.
971
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:56,237
No, it's just me.
Party of one.
972
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:57,560
MAN: Order up!
973
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:01,517
Okay, cue 17
is Fozzie's intro.
974
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:02,717
Hey, Scooter? What's left?
975
00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:04,757
Oh, uh, it's you, chief!
976
00:54:04,840 --> 00:54:07,960
Hmm?
Your duet. With Piggy.
977
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:12,877
MISS PIGGY:
♪ Yes I know what's on your mind ♪
978
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:14,360
Miss Piggy?
Hmm?
979
00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:16,517
We're all out front
practicing our acts,
980
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:19,197
and seems that
everybody expects you and I to do a duet, so...
981
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:22,877
Oh, that's so lovely,
but I'm afraid I can't.
982
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:27,877
No, no, you see,
I'm already doing a duet with my new dance partner.
983
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:29,637
(SPEAKS SPANISH, LAUGHS)
984
00:54:29,720 --> 00:54:31,637
Okay, come on,
rehearsing, let's go. We gotta break it up.
985
00:54:31,720 --> 00:54:34,037
Excuse us.
'Scuse us.
986
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:36,157
Let's try that lift again,
shall we?
987
00:54:36,240 --> 00:54:38,957
Ay. The lift again. Okay,
on my count this time, okay?
988
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:41,077
In three, two...
Wait for me!
989
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:42,837
(CRASHING)
Good grief.
990
00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:45,717
Kermit! There you are.
I've been looking for you everywhere!
991
00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:47,317
So nice to see you, Veronica.
992
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:49,197
Who's hosting?
Did you find a celebrity?
993
00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:53,477
Uh, yeah, well, I've wanted
to talk to you about that, you see, because, uh...
994
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:57,877
Well, actually, uh,
I'm kind of a celebrity.
995
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:01,280
You? (LAUGHS)
No. Kermit, listen.
996
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:05,037
I will not air the show
unless you find a real celebrity host.
997
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:07,317
I will rerun Benson
if I have to.
998
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:10,357
Yeah, you see,
the thing is, Veronica,
999
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:13,117
that's kind of
impossible because the show's in 12 hours!
1000
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:19,400
Twelve hours! I might as well
just go and ask Tex Richman to give us the studio back!
1001
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:24,477
KERMIT: And the Muppets
are like a big family.
1002
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:29,037
Well... And for us,
that theater is... Is like our home,
1003
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:32,077
um, which is why,
in conclusion,
1004
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:36,560
we humbly ask that you
give us back our studio.
1005
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:41,717
It would certainly mean
a lot to us. Uh...
1006
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,037
Hmm.
1007
00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:46,800
Well, Mr. The Frog,
let me see.
1008
00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:50,637
♪ I'm Tex Richman,
Mr. Texas Tea
1009
00:55:50,720 --> 00:55:53,317
♪ People call me "Rich"
'Cause I got mo' money
1010
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:56,117
♪ I got more cheddar
Than some super size nachos
1011
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:58,757
♪ Got cash flow
like Robert's got dineros
1012
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:01,277
♪ I use more greens
than Vincent van Gogh
1013
00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:03,637
♪ I make the baker bake
my bread outta dough
1014
00:56:03,720 --> 00:56:06,117
♪ No, no, don't eat it though
It'll make you ill
1015
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:09,157
♪ There ain't no flour
In a hundred dollar bill
1016
00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:11,517
♪ He's Tex Richman
♪ Oh, yeah!
1017
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,277
♪ Everybody listen
♪ Here we go now
1018
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:17,277
♪ Just how great it is
to be him
1019
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:19,677
♪ Oh, it's great to be me,
yeah!
1020
00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:20,840
Correct!
1021
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:22,637
♪ He's the greatest
♪ Hey, sing it again!
1022
00:56:22,720 --> 00:56:24,997
♪ He's the greatest
♪ Ooh, it never gets old!
1023
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:27,757
♪ Muppets are a waste of time
Oh, can't you see?
1024
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,723
♪ Little Muppets
It's time to give up your dream ♪
1025
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,280
The answer is no.
1026
00:56:35,040 --> 00:56:37,440
Well, uh,
you coulda just said that.
1027
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:39,677
Contract.
Contract.
1028
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:40,800
Contract.
1029
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:48,397
Nicely done, sir.
You see, Muppets, according to this contract,
1030
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:52,037
it's not just this studio
you lose the rights to tonight,
1031
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:54,960
it's the Muppet name itself.
What?
1032
00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:58,317
And all characters
under the Muppet name.
1033
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:01,989
Wait a second.
What possible use could you have for our names?
1034
00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:03,760
(BEEPING)
1035
00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:11,200
Told ya I'd be back.
1036
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,280
Well, now I am
1037
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:16,397
back.
1038
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:18,757
And I see you've met
Mr. Richman,
1039
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:21,197
our new business partner.
1040
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:24,877
The Moopets are
a hard, cynical act
1041
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:27,360
for a hard, cynical world.
1042
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:34,077
Hey, Fozzie! I want you
to meet a friend of mine.
1043
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:36,197
(MOOPETS LAUGHING)
1044
00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:40,360
Wocka wocka.
You're relics, Muppets!
1045
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:43,597
The world has moved on,
and no one cares about
1046
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:48,797
your goody-goody,
hippy-dippy, Julie Andrews and Dom DeLuise hostin',
1047
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:52,400
singin'-and-dancin' act
anymore! You're dead!
1048
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:56,837
(GASPING)
And I just come to bury you.
1049
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:59,840
Now, get out of my office.
1050
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:02,117
What?
What is that supposed to mean?
1051
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:03,757
You said you
were gonna talk to the man!
1052
00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:08,277
Guys! Okay, so maybe Kermit
signed away the theater
1053
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:12,197
and the Muppet name,
but as long as we have a celebrity host,
1054
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:13,717
we can still pull off
a heartwarming,
1055
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:15,637
last-minute triumph,
right, Kermit?
1056
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:20,997
Uh, well, uh, actually
I don't see how we can, Fozzie.
1057
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:23,997
Huh?
Guys, the show's in six hours,
1058
00:58:24,080 --> 00:58:29,037
and we're barely rehearsed,
and, well, uh, I...
1059
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:30,717
I couldn't
get us a celebrity host.
1060
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:32,717
Oh, no!
What?
1061
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:36,160
(SIGHS)
I'm afraid Tex Richman's right.
1062
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:38,717
The world's moved on.
1063
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:41,330
I'm sorry I dragged you guys
into this mess.
1064
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:43,560
Kermit?
1065
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:51,157
All right, listen up,
you freaks!
1066
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:53,800
I didn't come 5,000 miles
to not be on TV.
1067
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:59,397
All we need is one stinkin'
celebrity, and by any means necessary.
1068
00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:04,037
Now, the frog's gone.
We're doing things my way from now on.
1069
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:05,280
Let's move!
1070
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:07,817
(CAR ALARM SOUNDING)
1071
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:10,237
Hey!
Hi.
1072
00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:13,277
How was your day?
Oh, it was great.
1073
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:16,877
I went to Guinness Book
of World Records... Alone.
1074
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:19,557
Then Ripley's
Believe It Or Not... Solo.
1075
00:59:19,640 --> 00:59:21,757
And then I ate lunch
unaccompanied.
1076
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:25,357
And then I walked
back here... Independently.
1077
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:28,357
Listen, um, I got you these.
1078
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:31,735
You know, to make up
for the other ones. The broken ones.
1079
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:34,320
Thanks, sweetie.
1080
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:37,680
Listen, Gary.
Yeah.
1081
00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:40,997
I was just wondering
what the plan was for dinner tonight.
1082
00:59:41,080 --> 00:59:43,400
Oh, I don't care.
What do you feel like?
1083
00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:47,437
Okay. That's fine.
1084
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:50,800
That's just fine.
That's, um... That's perfect.
1085
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:54,037
I'm going to go for a walk.
1086
00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:55,360
Individually.
1087
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:02,080
(WHISTLING)
1088
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:04,480
(HUMMING)
1089
01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:07,357
Walter, hey.
Oh, Gary.
1090
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:08,880
Oh, where have you been?
1091
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:10,917
Look, I need you to help me
figure out a talent.
1092
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:12,517
A talent for what?
1093
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:16,600
For the show. Kermit asked me
to do an act in the show.
1094
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:19,440
I... I could be a Muppet.
1095
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:23,480
Wow. Wow, Walter,
that's amazing.
1096
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:26,517
Yeah, but, uh, I need to
figure out if I have a talent.
1097
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:28,797
Well, um, you know what?
I'm sure you'll think of something,
1098
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:31,277
but right now I actually...
I need your help. Um...
1099
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:34,077
I'm starting to get
the feeling that Mary's upset with me about something,
1100
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:38,277
and I don't know what,
and I was hoping maybe you would talk to her for me.
1101
01:00:38,360 --> 01:00:39,757
Gary, I'd love to
help you out,
1102
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:42,877
but I can't leave
the theater now. This is important.
1103
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:45,677
Well, hold on a second.
I mean, my life is important, too.
1104
01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:48,557
Yeah, but the whole reason
we came here was to see The Muppets.
1105
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:51,037
No, it wasn't!
The whole reason we came here
1106
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:53,197
was to take a vacation
where I took Mary out to a fancy dinner
1107
01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:56,320
because it's our 10th
anniversary, and then...
1108
01:00:57,840 --> 01:01:00,517
Walter, what day is today?
Uh, Friday.
1109
01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:03,397
Yeah. Yeah, that's it.
1110
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:07,277
This is bad. Walter, this is
really bad. I have to...
1111
01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:10,117
Mary? Mary!
Wait.
1112
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:13,360
Gary, I need you.
1113
01:01:28,640 --> 01:01:30,437
Okay, is everybody ready?
1114
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:33,477
Commence Operation
Celebri-nap. Masks on!
1115
01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:36,157
ALL: Masks on!
Except for moi.
1116
01:01:36,240 --> 01:01:37,837
Nothing covers
this beautiful face.
1117
01:01:37,920 --> 01:01:42,320
(GASPS) No maskin'?
No maskin'.
1118
01:01:42,880 --> 01:01:45,077
MAN 1: Check the door
on Stage 28.
1119
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,720
MAN 2:
I'm going over there now.
1120
01:01:56,520 --> 01:02:00,437
Ah! I told you, I'm not done
putting on my balls!
1121
01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:02,640
(ANIMAL PANTING)
1122
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:06,280
Oh, hey, Animal.
1123
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:08,932
What are you doin' here?
1124
01:02:09,120 --> 01:02:13,077
Acting. Natural.
1125
01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:14,800
MISS PIGGY: Now!
1126
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:16,720
Whoa!
1127
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:20,080
Hi-yah!
Ah!
1128
01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:26,640
Whoop!
Whoa!
1129
01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:31,760
(GIBBERISH)
1130
01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:33,880
Hoo!
1131
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:36,400
Hi-yah!
1132
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:45,720
Mary, surprise! I figured out
why you're mad... At me.
1133
01:02:55,040 --> 01:02:56,997
MARY: Gary, I've gone home.
1134
01:02:57,080 --> 01:03:00,917
I love you, but you need
to decide, are you a man
1135
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,200
or a Muppet?
1136
01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:19,157
♪ I reflect on my reflection
1137
01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:22,557
♪ And I ask myself
the question
1138
01:03:22,640 --> 01:03:29,000
♪ What's the right
direction to go?
1139
01:03:30,520 --> 01:03:32,920
♪ I don't know
1140
01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:37,477
♪ Am I a man
1141
01:03:37,560 --> 01:03:42,077
♪ Or am I a Muppet?
♪ Am I a Muppet?
1142
01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:45,477
♪ If I'm a Muppet
Then I'm a very manly Muppet
1143
01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:49,317
♪ Very manly Muppet
♪ Am I a Muppet?
1144
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:52,637
♪ Muppet
♪ Or am I a man?
1145
01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:54,757
♪ Am I a man?
1146
01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:58,797
♪ If I'm a man that makes
me a Muppet of a man
1147
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:01,840
♪ A Muppet of a man
1148
01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:08,677
♪ I look into these eyes
1149
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:12,357
♪ And I don't recognize
1150
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:17,200
♪ The one I see inside
1151
01:04:18,720 --> 01:04:22,597
♪ It's time for me to decide
1152
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:26,797
♪ Am I a man
1153
01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:28,640
♪ Or am I a Muppet?
1154
01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:31,277
♪ Am I a Muppet?
1155
01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:34,797
♪ If I'm a Muppet
Well, I'm a very manly Muppet
1156
01:04:34,880 --> 01:04:38,517
♪ Very manly Muppet
♪ Am I a Muppet?
1157
01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:41,997
♪ Muppet
♪ Or am I a man?
1158
01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:43,760
♪ Am I a man?
1159
01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:48,557
♪ If I'm a man that makes
me a Muppet of a man
1160
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:51,240
♪ A Muppet of a man
1161
01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:53,757
♪ Here I go again
1162
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:57,037
♪ I'm always running
out of time
1163
01:04:57,120 --> 01:05:01,477
♪ I think I made up my mind
1164
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:05,880
♪ Now I understand who I am
1165
01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:11,517
♪ I'm a man
1166
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:15,640
♪ I'm a Muppet
1167
01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:23,800
♪ I'm a Muppet of a man
♪ I'm a very manly Muppet
1168
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:28,160
♪ I'm a Muppet-y man
1169
01:05:40,800 --> 01:05:42,397
I'm so sorry.
1170
01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:45,400
Oh, Gary.
Mary.
1171
01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:50,360
♪ That's what I am ♪
1172
01:05:57,440 --> 01:05:59,957
Kermit. We have our celebrity!
1173
01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:03,917
Mr. Jack Black has graciously
agreed to do the telethon!
1174
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,597
Oh, my gosh, that's amazing.
Where is he?
1175
01:06:06,680 --> 01:06:09,280
In the trunk.
JACK: Get me outta here!
1176
01:06:09,400 --> 01:06:12,397
You kidnapped Jack Black?
That's illegal!
1177
01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:17,477
But, Kermit, what's more
illegal, briefly inconveniencing Jack Black,
1178
01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:19,917
or destroying The Muppets?
1179
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:21,880
Kidnapping Jack Black, Fozzie!
1180
01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:25,557
Kermit, listen. Whatever
I may think of you right now,
1181
01:06:25,640 --> 01:06:28,437
these guys are counting
on you. You inspire them.
1182
01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:31,237
What, to kidnap people?
To work together.
1183
01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:38,037
To kidnap people?
Mr. The Frog, we all agreed a celebrity is not a people.
1184
01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:41,637
And now that
we have a celebrity, the show's back on.
1185
01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:45,360
Come on, Kermit.
Don't let these guys down now.
1186
01:06:49,240 --> 01:06:53,557
All right. Well, what are you
guys still doing here, huh? It's showtime!
1187
01:06:53,640 --> 01:06:55,240
(ALL SHOUTING)
1188
01:06:56,440 --> 01:07:00,517
BOBO:
Nicely done, sir. As usual. TEX: En garde.
1189
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:02,197
Oh. Mmm-hmm. Ow!
1190
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:06,157
Ow! Okay, very nice. Doh!
(TEARING)
1191
01:07:06,240 --> 01:07:08,557
Halt! Point left!
1192
01:07:08,640 --> 01:07:11,157
Well done, sir. Thank you.
Thank you so much.
1193
01:07:11,240 --> 01:07:14,600
MAN: And coming up next on
CDE, The Muppet Telethon.
1194
01:07:14,720 --> 01:07:19,837
Kermit and friends host
a celebrity-studded gala, with special guest Jack Black.
1195
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:23,917
Oh, he's pretty good.
Ah!
1196
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:27,557
We're going to phase two.
Yes, Mr. Richman.
1197
01:07:27,640 --> 01:07:33,120
Hmm... So do you think
we're working for the bad guy?
1198
01:07:34,240 --> 01:07:37,677
(HORN HONKING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
1199
01:07:37,760 --> 01:07:40,360
Hurry! The show starts
in 10 minutes!
1200
01:07:41,440 --> 01:07:44,280
(ALL SHOUTING)
Where did you learn to drive?
1201
01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:48,880
Hang on, everyone!
1202
01:07:51,720 --> 01:07:56,037
Come on, guys. Okay,
listen up, everybody! This is it! Five minutes to curtain!
1203
01:07:56,120 --> 01:07:58,157
Kermit?
Uh, listen, get ready for the opening number.
1204
01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:00,037
Yes?
I need to talk to you about my act.
1205
01:08:00,120 --> 01:08:01,997
Listen, Walter,
I know you're gonna be fine.
1206
01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:04,037
In fact, I'm sure
you'll be great. Scooter, who's up first?
1207
01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:05,677
Come on, come on, come on!
No...
1208
01:08:05,760 --> 01:08:08,000
Fly in the arches!
(CLUCKING)
1209
01:08:08,840 --> 01:08:11,357
Okay, first we have
the opening theme. Of course. Yeah.
1210
01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:13,637
Then you come out
and introduce Fozzie. Right.
1211
01:08:13,720 --> 01:08:16,357
Then we have...
TV executive at six o'clock!
1212
01:08:16,440 --> 01:08:19,317
What? Ah!
The show is a disaster, frog!
1213
01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:21,717
Veronica...
Where's the audience?
1214
01:08:21,800 --> 01:08:24,037
I knew you guys
weren't popular anymore.
1215
01:08:24,120 --> 01:08:27,437
I should have trusted that
chart. There's no one here!
1216
01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:29,077
What about Hobo Joe?
Who?
1217
01:08:29,160 --> 01:08:31,357
Why does everybody
forget about Hobo Joe?
1218
01:08:31,440 --> 01:08:33,877
Just a second. Scooter!
Uh, yeah, chief?
1219
01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:37,197
Scooter, did you hand
out all those flyers? Of course. Every last one!
1220
01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:40,077
Don't worry.
We'll think of something!
1221
01:08:40,160 --> 01:08:41,757
You better.
Oh!
1222
01:08:41,840 --> 01:08:43,917
Yoo-hoo! You've got audience.
1223
01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:46,797
It's me! What am I, invisible?
1224
01:08:46,880 --> 01:08:48,797
(KNOCKING)
Jack Black.
1225
01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:50,757
Fifteen seconds
to curtain, Mr. Black.
1226
01:08:50,840 --> 01:08:54,037
Hi!
Ah! Where am I?
1227
01:08:54,120 --> 01:08:57,077
Why am I so fancy?
What are you doing? You're ruining my look!
1228
01:08:57,160 --> 01:08:59,866
Yeah, well, we'll see you
out there! Good luck.
1229
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:04,197
You sure got nice teeth,
Jack Black. Yeah.
1230
01:09:04,280 --> 01:09:06,237
(LAUGHING)
We're here!
1231
01:09:06,320 --> 01:09:09,277
Start the show!
Ready for some kind of entertainment!
1232
01:09:09,360 --> 01:09:11,757
All right, good luck,
everyone, and cue Scooter.
1233
01:09:11,840 --> 01:09:14,400
Okay, we go live
in three, two...
1234
01:09:16,280 --> 01:09:18,237
ANNOUNCER: Ladies
and gentlemen,
1235
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:21,200
please welcome your host,
Kermit the Frog.
1236
01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:23,877
It's The Muppet Telethon,
1237
01:09:23,960 --> 01:09:28,637
with our very special guest,
Mr. Jack Black! Yay!
1238
01:09:28,720 --> 01:09:31,120
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
1239
01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:41,957
♪ It's time to play the music
1240
01:09:42,040 --> 01:09:44,317
♪ It's time to light
the lights
1241
01:09:44,400 --> 01:09:48,557
♪ It's time to meet
the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight
1242
01:09:48,640 --> 01:09:50,717
♪ It's time to put on makeup
1243
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:52,197
♪ It's time to dress up right
1244
01:09:52,280 --> 01:09:54,880
♪ It's time to get
things started
1245
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:57,197
♪ Why don't you
get things started?
1246
01:09:57,280 --> 01:09:59,037
I always dreamed
we'd be back here.
1247
01:09:59,120 --> 01:10:01,157
Dreams?
Those were nightmares!
1248
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:02,877
♪ It's time
to get things started
1249
01:10:02,960 --> 01:10:04,277
♪ On the most sensational
1250
01:10:04,360 --> 01:10:06,157
♪ Inspirational
Celebrational
1251
01:10:06,240 --> 01:10:09,717
♪ Muppetational
This is what we call
1252
01:10:09,800 --> 01:10:14,280
♪ The Muppet Show ♪
1253
01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:18,200
(TARZAN YELL)
Ladies and gentlemen,
1254
01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:20,240
welcome to
The Muppet Telethon!
1255
01:10:20,360 --> 01:10:23,797
We have Muppets standing by
to take your calls.
1256
01:10:23,880 --> 01:10:25,280
Yes, we are.
Hi. Hello.
1257
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:28,117
Could I have a large pizza
with ham and...
1258
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:31,357
Yes, uh, and, boy, do we have
a wonderful show for you
1259
01:10:31,440 --> 01:10:34,997
with our special guest,
Mr. Jack Black!
1260
01:10:35,080 --> 01:10:37,517
(GRUNTING)
(LAUGHING)
1261
01:10:37,600 --> 01:10:39,517
I'm being held captive
by these weirdos!
1262
01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:42,720
Now you know how we've felt
for the past 40 years!
1263
01:10:42,840 --> 01:10:46,277
Somebody, anybody,
please call the police. This is real rope!
1264
01:10:46,360 --> 01:10:48,477
Man, this 3-D is incredible!
1265
01:10:48,560 --> 01:10:50,997
This is real!
KERMIT: Oh, and by the way, folks,
1266
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:52,557
we have plenty of room
here in the audience,
1267
01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:53,717
so if you'd like to come down
1268
01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:55,920
and see the show live...
1269
01:10:56,280 --> 01:11:00,440
There's no audience
in the theater. Look, it's totally empty.
1270
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:03,640
Poor Walter.
1271
01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:08,012
Maybe we should go back.
1272
01:11:08,320 --> 01:11:12,957
No way, Mary.
I've made my choice already.
1273
01:11:13,040 --> 01:11:15,117
I just sang
a whole song about it.
1274
01:11:15,200 --> 01:11:19,477
I wanna stay here with you.
1275
01:11:19,560 --> 01:11:21,200
So thank you.
1276
01:11:25,680 --> 01:11:28,157
(FANFARE MUSIC PLAYING)
1277
01:11:28,240 --> 01:11:30,837
Ladies and gentlemen,
prepare yourselves
1278
01:11:30,920 --> 01:11:34,597
for the Great Gonzo's
most amazing feat ever.
1279
01:11:34,680 --> 01:11:36,717
Head bowling.
What? No!
1280
01:11:36,800 --> 01:11:39,160
I have not
signed off on this! (LAUGHING)
1281
01:11:39,480 --> 01:11:42,757
Drumroll, please.
(TINKLING)
1282
01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:46,877
And a one and a two
and a three!
1283
01:11:46,960 --> 01:11:49,637
Uh-oh. Ahem!
My fingers got stuck.
1284
01:11:49,720 --> 01:11:52,557
All part of the act, folks.
Uh, stay tuned.
1285
01:11:52,640 --> 01:11:56,000
(LAUGHING)
Please, make this end! Please!
1286
01:11:56,360 --> 01:11:57,757
This is great. Call 'em.
1287
01:11:57,840 --> 01:11:58,880
(PHONE RINGS)
1288
01:12:04,960 --> 01:12:06,440
Hello?
1289
01:12:06,880 --> 01:12:10,077
You wanna give us
some money? Um...
1290
01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:14,037
Say yes!
Um, yes! We will take that money!
1291
01:12:14,120 --> 01:12:15,200
(LAUGHS)
1292
01:12:15,800 --> 01:12:18,637
Hey, guys,
we got us some money!
1293
01:12:18,720 --> 01:12:23,637
Oh, yeah, tickets.
Here we are. Tickets. Thank you.
1294
01:12:23,720 --> 01:12:27,757
Uh, five dollars
to show your seat. It's up there somewhere.
1295
01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:31,517
(GONZO SHOUTING)
Okay, thank you, Gonzo. Thank you very much.
1296
01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:33,437
Ladies and gentlemen,
we will see what happens with,
1297
01:12:33,520 --> 01:12:36,077
uh, head bowling
a little later in the show.
1298
01:12:36,160 --> 01:12:40,477
Up next is our
furry funny man, Mr. Fozzie Bear! Yay!
1299
01:12:40,560 --> 01:12:44,197
(APPLAUSE)
Thank you, thank you, and thank you.
1300
01:12:44,280 --> 01:12:46,757
Boy, did I go to a bad
seafood place last night.
1301
01:12:46,840 --> 01:12:51,480
The catch of the day was
salmonella. Ah, wocka wocka!
1302
01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:54,277
Okay.
That joke's like 50 years old!
1303
01:12:54,360 --> 01:12:57,037
(LAUGHTER)
FOZZIE: So how 'bout those shopping centers, huh?
1304
01:12:57,120 --> 01:13:00,280
You seen one,
you seen a mall! Take it.
1305
01:13:00,400 --> 01:13:03,357
(SOBBING) Make it stop!
(LAUGHTER)
1306
01:13:03,440 --> 01:13:08,557
FOZZIE:
Wocka wocka wocka wocka! JACK: Make it stop! No!
1307
01:13:08,640 --> 01:13:12,477
We're not a team!
I'm not with him! What is happening?
1308
01:13:12,560 --> 01:13:15,837
People are
actually watching this?
1309
01:13:15,920 --> 01:13:18,757
Deadly! Bring the car!
1310
01:13:18,840 --> 01:13:21,917
(SIGHS) What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?
1311
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:23,357
(KNOCKING)
Walter?
1312
01:13:23,440 --> 01:13:25,677
Sixty seconds till
you're on, Walter.
1313
01:13:25,760 --> 01:13:27,277
You ready?
1314
01:13:27,360 --> 01:13:30,837
No. Guh! Yes, yes, yes...
1315
01:13:30,920 --> 01:13:33,117
Whoopi Goldberg?
1316
01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:35,957
Selena Gomez?
And... Uh, hi there.
1317
01:13:36,040 --> 01:13:39,877
Yeah, look, somebody
said there might be a career opportunity here,
1318
01:13:39,960 --> 01:13:42,557
and something about
saving a theater. Yes, yes, of course.
1319
01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:43,997
I don't really know
who you guys are.
1320
01:13:44,080 --> 01:13:45,157
My agent just
told me to show up.
1321
01:13:45,240 --> 01:13:48,357
That's great.
Are you one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?
1322
01:13:48,440 --> 01:13:51,205
Yes, I am, and let me
show you how you can help.
1323
01:13:51,760 --> 01:13:54,757
And don't worry.
It's just your one shot to go on live TV
1324
01:13:54,840 --> 01:13:59,037
before millions of people to
prove you have what it takes to become one of the Muppets.
1325
01:13:59,120 --> 01:14:01,360
Good luck.
(SIGHS)
1326
01:14:03,360 --> 01:14:06,917
Up next, folks, I am proud
to present a brand-new act to the show.
1327
01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:09,160
Introducing Walter.
1328
01:14:09,440 --> 01:14:13,360
(FANFARE MUSIC PLAYING)
(INHALES)
1329
01:14:16,320 --> 01:14:19,317
(SCREAMS)
(CRASHING)
1330
01:14:19,400 --> 01:14:23,517
FOZZIE: That's not good.
Uh, it appears that, uh,
1331
01:14:23,600 --> 01:14:26,320
Walter has, uh, uh,
stepped out, so it's, uh...
1332
01:14:26,440 --> 01:14:31,437
Well, it's back
to the days of yore down at the old barbershop.
1333
01:14:31,520 --> 01:14:33,277
♪ Hello
♪ Hello
1334
01:14:33,360 --> 01:14:36,277
♪ Hello
♪ Mee-mee
1335
01:14:36,360 --> 01:14:39,837
Oh! (BABBLING)
1336
01:14:39,920 --> 01:14:41,237
♪ Mee-mee
1337
01:14:41,320 --> 01:14:42,757
♪ Hello ♪
1338
01:14:42,840 --> 01:14:47,917
Oh, no! It's a barbershop
quartet! Get me out of here!
1339
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:50,440
(ALL VOCALIZING)
1340
01:14:51,680 --> 01:14:53,517
Wait a minute.
What are you doing?
1341
01:14:53,600 --> 01:14:55,197
Is that Nirvana?
♪ With the lights out
1342
01:14:55,280 --> 01:14:57,480
Stop it! Stop!
1343
01:14:57,600 --> 01:15:01,277
♪ Here we are now
♪ Entertain us
1344
01:15:01,360 --> 01:15:03,637
You're ruining one of the
greatest songs of all time!
1345
01:15:03,720 --> 01:15:07,477
♪ Mee mee mee mee
♪ Here we are now
1346
01:15:07,560 --> 01:15:12,317
♪ Entertain us
Careful around the ears!
1347
01:15:12,400 --> 01:15:16,357
♪ An albino
♪ A mosquito
1348
01:15:16,440 --> 01:15:19,597
♪ Mee mee mee mo mo
Ah!
1349
01:15:19,680 --> 01:15:22,277
♪ Mee mee mee mee mee mee
1350
01:15:22,360 --> 01:15:25,117
♪ Hello, how low?
1351
01:15:25,200 --> 01:15:26,557
♪ Yeah
1352
01:15:26,640 --> 01:15:32,317
♪ Yeah ♪
Ow, that was hot!
1353
01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:35,560
Hey! What's going on here?
Why is my body so big?
1354
01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:38,677
What'd you do to my voice?
I sound like a chipmunk!
1355
01:15:38,760 --> 01:15:40,877
Wait a second.
Did you guys shrink my head?
1356
01:15:40,960 --> 01:15:44,840
KERMIT: Ladies and gentlemen,
Jack Black!
1357
01:15:46,080 --> 01:15:49,517
Nice work, everybody.
Chickens, you're up next!
1358
01:15:49,600 --> 01:15:52,483
It's going rather nicely.
We might just make this.
1359
01:15:53,200 --> 01:15:55,237
And now I am pleased
and proud to present
1360
01:15:55,320 --> 01:15:58,957
those princesses of poultry,
Camilla and friends!
1361
01:15:59,040 --> 01:16:01,720
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1362
01:16:06,280 --> 01:16:09,680
(CLUCKING MELODICALLY
TO TUNE OF "FORGET YOU")
1363
01:16:43,480 --> 01:16:47,600
Let's hear it for Camilla
and her farmyard friends!
1364
01:16:48,320 --> 01:16:50,237
No, I... I don't know
why I'm not hosting this.
1365
01:16:50,320 --> 01:16:52,800
So remember, folks,
keep on calling
1366
01:16:52,920 --> 01:16:57,450
and you'll help us reach our
goal of 10 million dollars by midnight. And if...
1367
01:16:57,640 --> 01:16:59,560
(GASPING)
Oh, dear.
1368
01:16:59,680 --> 01:17:01,117
Ladies and gentlemen,
don't be alarmed.
1369
01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:02,237
We will get this
sorted out just
1370
01:17:02,320 --> 01:17:03,957
as soon as we can.
Scooter!
1371
01:17:04,040 --> 01:17:07,237
(FIZZLING)
1372
01:17:07,320 --> 01:17:13,157
Well, that's that.
Nice try, Muppets!
1373
01:17:13,240 --> 01:17:17,997
(LAUGHING)
(GROWLING)
1374
01:17:18,080 --> 01:17:19,757
FOZZIE: Uh, Kermit,
1375
01:17:19,840 --> 01:17:22,477
how are we going to raise
the rest of the money with no electricity?
1376
01:17:22,560 --> 01:17:26,080
KERMIT: All right,
calm down, everybody.
1377
01:17:28,680 --> 01:17:31,357
Is everybody okay?
ALL: Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
1378
01:17:31,440 --> 01:17:34,237
Well, we can't do the show
without power.
1379
01:17:34,320 --> 01:17:37,437
Huh. Anybody got
any bright ideas? Not now, Fozzie.
1380
01:17:37,520 --> 01:17:40,360
Ten-gauge gator grip.
1381
01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:44,360
I love it when you talk shop.
1382
01:17:45,360 --> 01:17:48,600
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
1383
01:17:50,200 --> 01:17:54,280
(ALL MURMURING)
Ahem.
1384
01:17:54,400 --> 01:17:56,037
Oh!
1385
01:17:56,120 --> 01:17:57,877
♪ La la la la la la la
♪ Mee mee mee mee mee ♪
1386
01:17:57,960 --> 01:18:01,637
TEX: What? How'd they
get the power back?
1387
01:18:01,720 --> 01:18:04,797
Mm-mm-mm.
We're gonna have to get up on that roof
1388
01:18:04,880 --> 01:18:08,557
and shut 'em down for good!
Bolt cutters!
1389
01:18:08,640 --> 01:18:10,120
Bolt cutters.
1390
01:18:10,720 --> 01:18:13,240
Deadly! Come with me.
1391
01:18:14,640 --> 01:18:18,520
That's it. (GROWLS)
1392
01:18:25,280 --> 01:18:29,317
(GROWLS)
To the end of the Muppets!
1393
01:18:29,400 --> 01:18:31,277
(GRUNTS)
1394
01:18:31,360 --> 01:18:33,677
Deadly! What are you doing?
1395
01:18:33,760 --> 01:18:34,997
Enough!
1396
01:18:35,080 --> 01:18:37,997
Just because I have
a terrifying name
1397
01:18:38,080 --> 01:18:39,597
and an evil English accent,
1398
01:18:39,680 --> 01:18:42,997
does not preclude the
fact that in my heart,
1399
01:18:43,080 --> 01:18:47,480
I am a Muppet, not a Moopet!
1400
01:18:47,760 --> 01:18:51,717
Looks like it's I who
will have the last laugh!
1401
01:18:51,800 --> 01:18:55,357
What does that mean?
It's an idiom, you idiot,
1402
01:18:55,440 --> 01:18:59,117
because you cannot laugh!
Ha-ha!
1403
01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:01,077
(CRASHING)
Oopsie.
1404
01:19:01,160 --> 01:19:05,197
(DEADLY LAUGHS)
Deadly.
1405
01:19:05,280 --> 01:19:08,120
Now that's
a maniacal laugh for you!
1406
01:19:08,680 --> 01:19:11,717
Hey, Gary, Mary,
how'd you guys get here so fast?
1407
01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:13,957
We traveled by map.
We thought it'd be quicker.
1408
01:19:14,040 --> 01:19:17,117
Hey, I'm sorry I bailed.
I just...
1409
01:19:17,200 --> 01:19:21,640
I realized you don't
let the most important person in your world slip away.
1410
01:19:29,120 --> 01:19:31,037
Hey, Scooter?
Yeah?
1411
01:19:31,120 --> 01:19:33,677
Uh, could you do me a favor
and take over hosting duty?
1412
01:19:33,760 --> 01:19:36,597
But, chief,
I don't go onstage.
1413
01:19:36,680 --> 01:19:40,397
Well, just do what I do.
Pretend that the audience is naked.
1414
01:19:40,480 --> 01:19:44,077
Yeah, but, I... Yeah-ha-ha-ha.
1415
01:19:44,160 --> 01:19:46,397
(KNOCKING)
1416
01:19:46,480 --> 01:19:48,040
Uh, Miss Piggy?
1417
01:19:49,720 --> 01:19:51,000
Oh.
1418
01:19:57,160 --> 01:19:59,880
(APPLAUSE)
1419
01:20:02,120 --> 01:20:06,357
Uh... Ha-ha.
You are all naked.
1420
01:20:06,440 --> 01:20:08,917
Uh... Well, sorta.
1421
01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:12,757
Okay. Great!
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
1422
01:20:12,840 --> 01:20:16,520
please welcome,
a real hero...
1423
01:20:23,880 --> 01:20:26,037
MISS PIGGY: You saved it?
1424
01:20:26,120 --> 01:20:28,200
After all this time?
1425
01:20:28,640 --> 01:20:31,360
Oh, Kermie.
1426
01:20:40,720 --> 01:20:44,877
(CLEARS THROAT, STUTTERS)
I guess I'm not that good at saying this kind of stuff.
1427
01:20:44,960 --> 01:20:48,477
Yes, Kermie?
Well,
1428
01:20:48,560 --> 01:20:53,280
over the last week, um,
I realized that...
1429
01:20:54,440 --> 01:20:56,637
I... I miss you.
1430
01:20:56,720 --> 01:20:59,677
And I need you.
1431
01:20:59,760 --> 01:21:04,317
Uh, and maybe
you don't need the...
1432
01:21:04,400 --> 01:21:07,680
The whole world
to love you.
1433
01:21:07,800 --> 01:21:11,600
Maybe you just
need one person.
1434
01:21:13,600 --> 01:21:14,917
It's time for our song,
1435
01:21:15,000 --> 01:21:17,157
and if we don't
raise the money tonight,
1436
01:21:17,240 --> 01:21:19,677
it might be the last
time we sing together.
1437
01:21:19,760 --> 01:21:23,037
(ALL MURMURING)
And...
1438
01:21:23,120 --> 01:21:26,677
Well, are you ready?
1439
01:21:26,760 --> 01:21:28,957
Oh, Kermie.
Hmm?
1440
01:21:29,040 --> 01:21:31,357
(APPLAUSE)
1441
01:21:31,440 --> 01:21:33,840
(BANJO PLAYING)
1442
01:21:36,920 --> 01:21:39,757
♪ Why are there so many
1443
01:21:39,840 --> 01:21:42,637
♪ Songs about rainbows?
1444
01:21:42,720 --> 01:21:48,280
♪ And what's on
the other side?
1445
01:21:49,440 --> 01:21:52,317
♪ Rainbows are visions
1446
01:21:52,400 --> 01:21:55,117
♪ But only illusions
1447
01:21:55,200 --> 01:22:00,800
♪ And rainbows have
nothing to hide
1448
01:22:01,800 --> 01:22:03,877
♪ So we've been told
1449
01:22:03,960 --> 01:22:08,077
♪ And some choose
to believe it
1450
01:22:08,160 --> 01:22:13,237
♪ I know they're wrong
Wait and see
1451
01:22:13,320 --> 01:22:16,920
♪ Someday we'll find it
1452
01:22:17,040 --> 01:22:20,437
♪ The rainbow connection
1453
01:22:20,520 --> 01:22:25,357
♪ The lovers,
the dreamers and me
1454
01:22:25,440 --> 01:22:28,997
♪ All of us under its spell
1455
01:22:29,080 --> 01:22:35,680
♪ We know that it's
probably magic
1456
01:22:37,680 --> 01:22:40,360
♪ Have you been
half asleep
1457
01:22:40,480 --> 01:22:43,677
♪ And have you heard voices?
1458
01:22:43,760 --> 01:22:48,117
♪ I've heard them
calling my name
1459
01:22:48,200 --> 01:22:51,997
(PANTING)
1460
01:22:52,080 --> 01:22:55,117
Hey, these are yours, man.
Huh?
1461
01:22:55,200 --> 01:22:56,797
I kept 'em for ya.
1462
01:22:56,880 --> 01:22:59,397
Drum.
No drum.
1463
01:22:59,480 --> 01:23:01,557
Drum!
No drum!
1464
01:23:01,640 --> 01:23:03,920
Drum! Drum!
No drum! No drum!
1465
01:23:04,040 --> 01:23:07,120
(SHOUTING)
1466
01:23:10,720 --> 01:23:14,797
You know what to do.
1467
01:23:14,880 --> 01:23:20,157
♪ I've heard it too many times
to ignore it
1468
01:23:20,240 --> 01:23:26,000
♪ It's something that
I'm supposed to be
1469
01:23:26,880 --> 01:23:29,837
♪ Someday we'll find it
1470
01:23:29,920 --> 01:23:32,837
♪ The rainbow connection
1471
01:23:32,920 --> 01:23:38,197
♪ The lovers
The dreamers and me ♪
1472
01:23:38,280 --> 01:23:42,080
(VOCALIZING)
1473
01:23:48,720 --> 01:23:53,357
Drum! Drum, drum! Drum!
1474
01:23:53,440 --> 01:23:55,397
(LAUGHING)
1475
01:23:55,480 --> 01:23:57,317
You still got it, man!
1476
01:23:57,400 --> 01:23:58,757
Piggy?
Hmm?
1477
01:23:58,840 --> 01:24:01,997
Will you stay... For me?
1478
01:24:02,080 --> 01:24:04,597
For you, Kermie?
Yeah.
1479
01:24:04,680 --> 01:24:05,920
Of course!
1480
01:24:11,640 --> 01:24:13,160
Whoo-hoo!
1481
01:24:16,080 --> 01:24:18,357
(TICKING)
1482
01:24:18,440 --> 01:24:21,000
Uh, thank you, everybody.
1483
01:24:21,120 --> 01:24:22,717
Uh, thank you, all.
1484
01:24:22,800 --> 01:24:23,997
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
1485
01:24:24,080 --> 01:24:28,317
it's almost midnight
and we haven't quite reached our target yet,
1486
01:24:28,400 --> 01:24:30,517
but, uh, if you'll all
just stick around,
1487
01:24:30,600 --> 01:24:33,037
we'll be right back
with our final act.
1488
01:24:33,120 --> 01:24:37,197
ANNOUNCER:
The Muppet Telethon will return after these messages.
1489
01:24:37,280 --> 01:24:39,957
(CHEERING)
1490
01:24:40,040 --> 01:24:43,357
Walter? Walter,
where are you, buddy?
1491
01:24:43,440 --> 01:24:47,757
Listen, everybody, the show
ran short, and we don't have anything else planned.
1492
01:24:47,840 --> 01:24:50,597
We need one last act
to bring us home.
1493
01:24:50,680 --> 01:24:53,437
I'm gonna go check
on Jack Black and see if he has any ideas.
1494
01:24:53,520 --> 01:24:55,117
You guys see if you can
come up with something.
1495
01:24:55,200 --> 01:24:57,277
We have two minutes!
Two minutes!
1496
01:24:57,360 --> 01:25:00,837
Think, think, think!
FOZZIE: What am I thinking?
1497
01:25:00,920 --> 01:25:04,480
Walter. Walt!
1498
01:25:04,840 --> 01:25:07,117
Walter!
Gary?
1499
01:25:07,200 --> 01:25:10,797
Wha... You came back.
Walter.
1500
01:25:10,880 --> 01:25:12,717
What are you doing down here?
1501
01:25:12,800 --> 01:25:14,397
They just need one more act.
1502
01:25:14,480 --> 01:25:16,237
You gotta get out there
and help those guys.
1503
01:25:16,320 --> 01:25:20,997
I can't. What if people
laugh at me? I...
1504
01:25:21,080 --> 01:25:25,320
I'd rather go back home
to Smalltown. With you.
1505
01:25:28,000 --> 01:25:30,997
Look, Walter,
you're my brother,
1506
01:25:31,080 --> 01:25:32,877
and I'm always gonna love you,
1507
01:25:32,960 --> 01:25:36,957
but you belong here,
with these guys.
1508
01:25:37,040 --> 01:25:39,517
Hey, you're the one
who got Kermit to do this.
1509
01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:42,437
You're the one who brought
everyone here together.
1510
01:25:42,520 --> 01:25:47,117
You always believe in other
people, but that's easy.
1511
01:25:47,200 --> 01:25:51,637
Sooner or later, you gotta
believe in yourself, too,
1512
01:25:51,720 --> 01:25:54,040
because that's
what growing up is.
1513
01:25:55,400 --> 01:25:58,077
It's becoming
who you want to be.
1514
01:25:58,160 --> 01:25:59,520
You have to try.
1515
01:25:59,920 --> 01:26:02,200
Please, Walter.
1516
01:26:04,560 --> 01:26:06,080
You're my hero.
1517
01:26:12,880 --> 01:26:14,960
(MURMURING)
1518
01:26:16,480 --> 01:26:18,120
(BELL DINGS)
1519
01:26:18,240 --> 01:26:20,917
Okay, Jack Black's got
nothing. What did you guys come up with?
1520
01:26:21,000 --> 01:26:22,637
Uh, Bunsen can set
Beaker on fire.
1521
01:26:22,720 --> 01:26:24,877
No, no, no,
we can't do that.
1522
01:26:24,960 --> 01:26:26,157
I could break out
the fart shoes.
1523
01:26:26,240 --> 01:26:27,757
No, no, no,
that will never work!
1524
01:26:27,840 --> 01:26:29,037
We're back in three, two...
1525
01:26:29,120 --> 01:26:33,320
(BELL DINGS)
Oh, no!
1526
01:26:35,120 --> 01:26:36,560
(WHISTLING)
1527
01:26:39,600 --> 01:26:40,837
Huh?
1528
01:26:40,920 --> 01:26:46,400
(WHISTLING MOURNFUL TUNE)
1529
01:26:49,760 --> 01:26:50,997
It's Walter.
1530
01:26:51,080 --> 01:26:55,280
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(WHISTLING)
1531
01:27:47,120 --> 01:27:50,720
(SONG ENDS)
(APPLAUSE)
1532
01:27:52,120 --> 01:27:53,880
Thank you.
1533
01:27:54,000 --> 01:27:56,117
He's all grown up.
1534
01:27:56,200 --> 01:27:58,317
Oh, that was wonderful!
1535
01:27:58,400 --> 01:28:01,477
(BELL DINGS)
1536
01:28:01,560 --> 01:28:04,077
KERMIT: Ladies and gentlemen,
Walter!
1537
01:28:04,160 --> 01:28:06,757
It looks like we're going
to get our studio back!
1538
01:28:06,840 --> 01:28:10,797
This just in.
The Muppets are about to take back their studio.
1539
01:28:10,880 --> 01:28:13,720
(CAR STARTS)
(TIRES SCREECH)
1540
01:28:16,400 --> 01:28:20,437
'80S ROBOT: Help! I've been
mugged. Alerting authorities.
1541
01:28:20,520 --> 01:28:22,757
RECORDED VOICE:
We're sorry... What happened? Hello?
1542
01:28:22,840 --> 01:28:25,717
Hello?
Guys, my phone is dead.
1543
01:28:25,800 --> 01:28:32,000
News flash!
My phone is also dead. Repeat, my phone is also dead.
1544
01:28:34,400 --> 01:28:36,280
Ooh!
1545
01:28:37,640 --> 01:28:39,600
(GROANING)
1546
01:28:47,200 --> 01:28:51,240
I did it. (GRUNTS) I beat you.
1547
01:28:53,840 --> 01:28:58,880
Game over, Kermit.
You lost.
1548
01:28:59,560 --> 01:29:01,837
Aw.
Chicky!
1549
01:29:01,920 --> 01:29:06,477
Too late, Muppets. I won!
Turn that thing off!
1550
01:29:06,560 --> 01:29:08,477
The show is over!
1551
01:29:08,560 --> 01:29:12,077
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
Ah! But we were so close!
1552
01:29:12,160 --> 01:29:15,317
(WINDING DOWN)
(ALL GASP)
1553
01:29:15,400 --> 01:29:19,437
(ALL GROAN)
Or not.
1554
01:29:19,520 --> 01:29:21,837
It kinda makes me
feel better, honestly.
1555
01:29:21,920 --> 01:29:24,477
I mean, we were
nowhere close at all.
1556
01:29:24,560 --> 01:29:28,877
You artists formerly
known as the Muppets
1557
01:29:28,960 --> 01:29:31,997
are standing
on private property.
1558
01:29:32,080 --> 01:29:34,997
My private property.
1559
01:29:35,080 --> 01:29:37,837
And I'm telling you
to leave. Now!
1560
01:29:37,920 --> 01:29:40,160
Ooh.
(WHIMPERS)
1561
01:29:46,240 --> 01:29:48,957
He's right, everybody.
1562
01:29:49,040 --> 01:29:53,120
He won. We gotta go.
1563
01:29:53,600 --> 01:29:54,920
(SIGHS)
1564
01:29:59,680 --> 01:30:02,600
(FARTING NOISES)
1565
01:30:04,680 --> 01:30:07,360
ROWLF: Ah, not now, Fozzie.
1566
01:30:10,320 --> 01:30:13,280
I can't believe this.
I know.
1567
01:30:16,960 --> 01:30:20,840
Well, that's that.
1568
01:30:26,160 --> 01:30:28,400
This isn't right.
1569
01:30:28,920 --> 01:30:30,360
It can't end like this.
1570
01:30:30,840 --> 01:30:33,200
But what can we do?
1571
01:30:42,160 --> 01:30:47,637
Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
Listen, everybody,
1572
01:30:47,720 --> 01:30:51,680
we've got nothing
to be ashamed of. And you know why?
1573
01:30:51,800 --> 01:30:57,317
Well, because thanks
to Walter here, we tried.
1574
01:30:57,400 --> 01:30:59,877
And if we failed,
we failed together,
1575
01:30:59,960 --> 01:31:05,117
and to me,
that's not failing at all.
1576
01:31:05,200 --> 01:31:07,717
And I don't care
what anybody says.
1577
01:31:07,800 --> 01:31:14,597
And I don't care
if no one believes in us, because I believe.
1578
01:31:14,680 --> 01:31:17,797
I believe in you.
Huh? Ah.
1579
01:31:17,880 --> 01:31:20,597
And you.
Me?
1580
01:31:20,680 --> 01:31:22,000
And you.
1581
01:31:24,400 --> 01:31:27,437
You know, what's important
isn't this building or a name.
1582
01:31:27,520 --> 01:31:30,277
It's each other.
So I say, fine,
1583
01:31:30,360 --> 01:31:32,957
let's just start
at the bottom and work our way back up to the top.
1584
01:31:33,040 --> 01:31:36,197
ALL: Yeah.
Let's all walk out through these doors
1585
01:31:36,280 --> 01:31:41,717
with our heads held high.
As a family.
1586
01:31:41,800 --> 01:31:46,400
Because that's what we are.
ALL: Yeah. Yeah.
1587
01:32:14,080 --> 01:32:18,680
(CHEERING)
(GASPING)
1588
01:32:31,280 --> 01:32:34,520
(CHANTING) Muppets,
Muppets, Muppets!
1589
01:32:43,320 --> 01:32:48,760
(CHANTING) Muppets,
Muppets, Muppets!
1590
01:32:50,280 --> 01:32:52,520
(LAUGHS) All right.
1591
01:32:55,160 --> 01:32:58,320
Wow.
Wow.
1592
01:33:00,760 --> 01:33:03,237
(LAUGHS)
Hey, where's Walter?
1593
01:33:03,320 --> 01:33:08,557
See? Your fans,
they love you guys!
1594
01:33:08,640 --> 01:33:11,077
Hey, Walter.
Aren't you gonna join us?
1595
01:33:11,160 --> 01:33:12,637
FOZZIE: Yeah! Come on!
ROWLF: Come on, Walter!
1596
01:33:12,720 --> 01:33:15,717
Come on, Walter!
Yes. Come!
1597
01:33:15,800 --> 01:33:20,237
What're you waiting for,
buddy? Get over there.
1598
01:33:20,320 --> 01:33:22,720
Yeah, go ahead.
1599
01:33:40,120 --> 01:33:43,080
(CHEERING)
1600
01:33:47,080 --> 01:33:52,560
CROWD: (CHANTING) Muppets!
Muppets! Muppets!
1601
01:34:07,240 --> 01:34:10,197
(PLAYING PIANO)
Hmm? Oh.
1602
01:34:10,280 --> 01:34:14,000
How charming.
A finale. Hmm.
1603
01:34:20,840 --> 01:34:23,317
♪ Everything is great
1604
01:34:23,400 --> 01:34:25,117
♪ Everything is grand
1605
01:34:25,200 --> 01:34:30,597
♪ We've got
the whole wide world in the palm of our hand
1606
01:34:30,680 --> 01:34:32,757
♪ Everything is perfect
1607
01:34:32,840 --> 01:34:35,280
♪ It's falling into place
1608
01:34:35,400 --> 01:34:39,437
♪ I can't seem to wipe
this smile off my face
1609
01:34:39,520 --> 01:34:40,957
♪ Life's a happy song
1610
01:34:41,040 --> 01:34:42,877
♪ When there's someone
by your side
1611
01:34:42,960 --> 01:34:45,400
♪ To sing along
1612
01:34:45,760 --> 01:34:46,760
Yeah!
1613
01:34:47,240 --> 01:34:48,517
♪ Everything is great
1614
01:34:48,600 --> 01:34:50,677
♪ And we'll live
happily ever after
1615
01:34:50,760 --> 01:34:52,277
♪ And we'll keep giving
the world
1616
01:34:52,360 --> 01:34:54,317
♪ The third greatest gift
♪ Laughter
1617
01:34:54,400 --> 01:34:56,237
♪ Ze movie's almost over
1618
01:34:56,320 --> 01:34:57,637
♪ It's time to say, "So long"
1619
01:34:57,720 --> 01:34:59,837
♪ Will you please
stop singing?
1620
01:34:59,920 --> 01:35:01,677
♪ You've already
sung this song
1621
01:35:01,760 --> 01:35:03,117
♪ Life's a happy song
1622
01:35:03,200 --> 01:35:04,357
♪ When there's someone
by your side
1623
01:35:04,440 --> 01:35:05,877
♪ To sing along
1624
01:35:05,960 --> 01:35:07,902
We're happier
when you don't sing.
1625
01:35:08,640 --> 01:35:13,037
♪ We've got everything
that we need
1626
01:35:13,120 --> 01:35:15,997
♪ We can be whatever
we want to be
1627
01:35:16,080 --> 01:35:18,837
♪ Nothing we can't do
1628
01:35:18,920 --> 01:35:22,437
♪ The skies are blue
When it's me and you And you and you
1629
01:35:22,520 --> 01:35:25,637
♪ And you
And you And you
1630
01:35:25,720 --> 01:35:27,037
Well, all of you. Yeah!
1631
01:35:27,120 --> 01:35:32,437
(VOCALIZING)
1632
01:35:32,520 --> 01:35:35,317
JACK: Hey, remember me?
I'm Jack Black!
1633
01:35:35,400 --> 01:35:38,517
No, what are you doing?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. Put me back down.
1634
01:35:38,600 --> 01:35:40,877
MAN: All hail the Hobo King.
1635
01:35:40,960 --> 01:35:45,357
♪ We've got everything
that we need
1636
01:35:45,440 --> 01:35:48,197
♪ We can be whatever
we want to be
1637
01:35:48,280 --> 01:35:51,237
♪ Nothing that we can't do
1638
01:35:51,320 --> 01:35:55,077
♪ The skies are blue
When it's me and you and you and you
1639
01:35:55,160 --> 01:35:58,877
♪ Life's a happy song
♪ When there's someone by your side to sing
1640
01:35:58,960 --> 01:36:02,397
♪ Life's a happy song
♪ Mee mee mee mee mee
1641
01:36:02,480 --> 01:36:05,237
♪ Life's a happy song
When there's someone
1642
01:36:05,320 --> 01:36:07,120
♪ Someone
♪ Someone
1643
01:36:07,240 --> 01:36:09,917
♪ By your side
1644
01:36:10,000 --> 01:36:14,760
♪ To sing along ♪
1645
01:36:19,160 --> 01:36:22,240
(WHISTLING)
1646
01:36:31,080 --> 01:36:33,357
{\an8}I just have one question
I need to ask you.
1647
01:36:33,440 --> 01:36:38,117
{\an8}Will you, Mary, marry me?
1648
01:36:38,200 --> 01:36:40,117
{\an8}(BELL DINGS)
1649
01:36:40,200 --> 01:36:42,677
{\an8}♪ Mahna mahna
♪ Do doo doo doo doo
1650
01:36:42,760 --> 01:36:45,597
{\an8}♪ Mahna mahna
♪ Doo doo doo doo
1651
01:36:45,680 --> 01:36:48,837
{\an8}♪ Mahna mahna
You're breaking the law! I own that name.
1652
01:36:48,920 --> 01:36:53,680
{\an8}Hey, guys,
I think I've finally worked out how to... Whoa!
1653
01:36:54,440 --> 01:36:57,437
{\an8}"Oil" bet that hurt.
(LAUGHS)
1654
01:36:57,520 --> 01:36:59,357
{\an8}(LAUGHING)
1655
01:36:59,440 --> 01:37:03,437
{\an8}MAN:
This just in. Richman gives back Muppet Theater and name.
1656
01:37:03,520 --> 01:37:05,597
{\an8}Change of heart. Nothing
to do with head injury.
1657
01:37:05,680 --> 01:37:07,917
{\an8}♪ Mahna mahna
♪ Do doo doo doo doo
1658
01:37:08,000 --> 01:37:09,957
{\an8}♪ Mahna mahna
♪ Doo doo doo doo
1659
01:37:10,040 --> 01:37:11,837
{\an8}♪ Mahna mahna
♪ Do doo...
1660
01:37:11,920 --> 01:37:14,397
{\an8}Hey, Richman! We had a deal!
1661
01:37:14,480 --> 01:37:18,117
{\an8}Yeah, for reallies!
Yeah, you owe us money, man. What the wocka?
1662
01:37:18,200 --> 01:37:22,880
{\an8}(GRUNTING MELODICALLY)
1663
01:37:28,080 --> 01:37:29,080
{\an8}Thank you.
1664
01:37:31,120 --> 01:37:33,637
{\an8}♪ Mahna mahna
♪ Do doo doo doo doo
1665
01:37:33,720 --> 01:37:35,880
{\an8}♪ Mahna mahna
♪ Doo doo doo doo
1666
01:37:36,000 --> 01:37:39,757
{\an8}MAN: Breaking news!
Miss Piggy promises to stay out of the limelight.
1667
01:37:39,840 --> 01:37:42,157
{\an8}Kermit says,
"We need some time alone."
1668
01:37:42,240 --> 01:37:44,317
{\an8}Oh, Kermie, I'm so happy.
What are you talking about?
1669
01:37:44,400 --> 01:37:48,957
{\an8}Let's share our happiness
with 10 of the world's largest news publications.
1670
01:37:49,040 --> 01:37:52,477
{\an8}How's the quiet life, Kermit?
Piggy, froggy!
1671
01:37:52,560 --> 01:37:53,637
{\an8}How are you enjoying
your time alone?
1672
01:37:53,720 --> 01:37:54,720
{\an8}Piggy!
1673
01:37:56,600 --> 01:37:59,157
{\an8}♪ Mahna mahna
♪ Do doo doo doo doo
1674
01:37:59,240 --> 01:38:01,477
{\an8}♪ Mahna mahna
♪ Doo doo doo doo
1675
01:38:01,560 --> 01:38:03,877
{\an8}♪ Mahna mahna
♪ Do doo doo doo doo
1676
01:38:03,960 --> 01:38:08,880
{\an8}♪ Doo doo doo
Doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo
1677
01:38:09,600 --> 01:38:12,040
{\an8}♪ Mahna mahna ♪