Whoo!
What the hell are you doing?
What the hell?
I didn't tell you to go! Goddamn!
- It was him! - It was you!
Shit! Oh, man!
Ain't nobody listenin' today.
Ladies, you just dented a '81 cutlass supreme.
I need to see your license and registration.
Brother, you ok? You cool?
Ten minutes. Doors open on my signal.
I'm glad you're here, lee.
I always feel better with you watching my back.
I'm just doing my job, mr. Ambassador.
Stay close today, lee.
We're making history.
This is bullshit! Do you know who i am?
My family owns half of rodeo drive.
Do you know who i am?
Detective james carter, lapd.
My family owns half of crenshaw boulevard.
I want a lawyer.
You need a personal trainer.
This license says 180 pounds.
You weigh more than the damn car, girl.
- I have a thyroid condition. - Well, stop eating thyroids.
Look, can't you just, like give us a warning or something?
That depends. You girls like chinese?
Excuse me.
Carter.
Lee, we are on for tonight.
I just picked up two girls who wanna play hide the little asian policeman.
I can't talk now. I'm in the car with ambassador han.
Trust me, these girls are sushi grade.
- We gotta hit this! - I have to go. I'm sorry.
You're still mad at me, aren't you?
You're mad because of what happened when we was in new york.
I don't want to talk about that.
It was three years ago. When you gonna let it go?
Let it go? Isabella was my girlfriend.
Lee, we're friends, man.
Just come out with me one night.
The mu shu's on me.
Lee!
Ha.
My mom says hi.
The chinese triads now have half a million members...
In over 100 countries.
And these are not street kids shaking down local merchants.
These are businessmen who have built a $50 billion empire...
Of extortion, drugs, sex and slavery.
We must cut off the head of this snake before it swallows us whole.
As chairman of the world criminal court...
I have entrusted my good friend ambassador han to lead the fight...
Against the largest criminal organization in the world.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Chairman reynard, ladies and gentlemen.
The triad society is built on secrecy.
Nobody knows who these men are, who controls them, who leads them.
Nobody has known for 500 years.
But today, i stand before you with a secret of my own.
Today, i will disclose information that affects everyone in this room.
After years of searching, i believe i've finally located shy shen.
Mr. Ambassador, shy shen does not exist.
Excuse me, who is this shy shen?
With all due respect, sir, i le...
Everybody down!
Call an ambulance!
Someone get a doctor.
Ambassador down, ambassador down.
Stay with him.
Yugh!
Uh-Uh-Uh. Keepin' these till i see you tonight.
Attention all units, shots have been fired at the world criminal court building.
The chinese ambassador has been shot.
Chinese ambassador? Move your asses over.
- Move over! - What? Whoa. Shit!
What're you doing?
Lee!
- Where the hell is he goin'? - Ah!
Lapd! Get the hell outta the way!
People are crazy.
I'm-A give your ass a ticket when i come back!
Lee, i'm comin'!
Ugh!
Don't move!
Hello, lee.
I think we both know that's not gonna happen.
Kenji!
You see? I know you too well.
Aaaah!
- Ugh! - Aaaah!
- Ungh. - Lee, you ok?
We almost killed your ass. Why you didn't move?
Ohh.
I'd like for you to meet our dates for this evenin'. Masha and zoe.
Urgh.
Fat one's yours.
How many times do you want me to say it? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry i ran you over, man. Damn!
- Not now, carter. - Aww.
All right, hold it right there. Don't say a word, carter.
Captain diel, i had nothin' to do with this.
All i did was borrow a car, backed up lee.
Tell him, partner.
I need to see ambassador han.
The ambassador is just out of surgery.
The bullet missed his heart. He's gonna be ok.
Captain, you have to give me back my shield...
And put me on this case. I made one little mistake.
- Take a brother off the bench. - One little mistake?
You handcuffed two women and stole their car.
Isn't that why we have insurance?
Everyone has an off day, captain.
Last month you put six iranians in jail for a week!
You and i both know them iranians was terrorists.
They were scientists at ucla!
Big deal.
'cause they cure cancer in rats...
That doesn't mean they won't blow shit up.
Let me find the person who shot ambassador han.
Relax, carter. The lapd won't be leading this investigation.
The ambassador is my responsibility.
Well, then maybe you could tell me exactly how that shooter got away.
Thought so.
The ambassador's daughter is coming to see her father right now.
Make sure nothing happens to her.
Don't worry, captain, we're gonna make you proud.
And try not to think about your wife leaving you.
She'll come back.
Soo yung's here?
I haven't seen her since she was ten years old.
She lives in los angeles now.
Let's go to the gift shop and get her a little teddy bear.
And a bra.
- Lee! - Soo yung.
I'm so glad you're here.
- Detective carter. - Soo yung.
- It's been so long. - So long, soo yung.
So... So young.
- How is he? - He's out of surgery.
They said he'll be ok.
Soo yung, i'm sorry.
I want you both to promise me something.
I want you to find the man who did this to him.
I want you to find him because i don't think he'll stop...
Until my father is dead.
Soo yung.
I need to hear you say it.
Ok, i promise.
And so do i.
Thank you.
Soo yung, your father was addressing the court before he was shot.
Two weeks ago, my father mailed me an envelope.
He said if anything ever happened to him...
- I should give it to you. - Where is it?
I put it in my locker at the kung-Fu studio where i teach.
It's at 8347 first street...
Chinatown.
Go home, carter. This has nothing to do with you.
I made soo yung a promise, the same as you.
This is the business of china.
Well, for your information, i'm part chinese now.
That's right, lee. For the last three years i've studied...
The ancient teachings of buddha, earning two black belts...
In wushu martial arts, spending every afternoon...
At the hong kong garden massage parlor on pico and bundy.
I am half-Chinese, baby.
If you're half-Chinese, i'm half-Black.
I'm your brother and i'm fly. You down with that, snoopy?
That's dope, isn't it?
Sorry, lee, you can't be black. There's a height requirement.
Same as riding the matterhorn.
Go home, carter.
I can't leave you, lee.
Can't leave my brother.
All right, listen up! I need everyone's attention.
I'm detective carter, this is inspector lee.
We need to see soo yung's locker right now.
No one's allowed in the back without the master's permission.
Maybe you didn't hear me. We need to see that locker.
- I'm sorry. - Wait. Carter.
Lee, i got this.
Hey! Heh heh. Kids.
Listen. Violence will solve nothin'.
Now, as the chinese say, all great battles are won without fightin'.
- Sorry. - Ok?
I don't know him.
Now, let's just calm down and put this...
- Haa! - Ow!
God da...
Ok...
I tried talkin'.
Hoo! Now i'm about to beat the puberty out of y'all.
You ain't gonna see it comin'. You ain't gonna see it comin', come on!
Waaa! Whoo!
Runnin' for your lives.
About time y'all showed some respect around here.
- Huh? - Carter, wait for the master.
Whoa! Damn!
Heh, i'm sorry, man. I thought this was the bathroom.
Sorry.
Lee, i got a big problem, man.
This boy's on steroids. He got a head like barry bonds.
- Oh, no. - Come on, man.
- Aaaah! - Aaaaah!
Ah!
Carter, are you ok?
Lee, lee, get him, lee!
Ooh!
Ahhh! Ah!
Ah!
Urgh!
Lee, let's get the hell outta...
Aah! My bunions!
Yah! Hyah! Mm! Ungh!
- Grr! Rargh! - Ha ha ha.
Urgh! Whoo!
Oh! Aaaah!
Come on, man, let me go. I love chinese people!
Aaaah!
Wait. I don't...
Ah!
Urgh!
How do you say "surrender" in chinese?
Aaaah!
Ok. I'm about to slice you up like a giant california roll!
Raaah!
- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! - Ha ha ha. Funny black man.
Ooh... Oh! Shit!
I'm not playin' no more.
Ahh!
Aaah!
- Lee, let go! - Carter!
Grrrrr!
Down! Put us down!
Let me down! I'm sorry!
- Aaaaah! - I'm sorry, man!
How the hell did we get in this mess?
- Ugh! - Agh!
May i help you?
We'll be asking the questions, old man.
- Who are you? - Yu.
- No, not me. You. - Yes, i am yu.
Just answer the damn questions.
- Who are you? - I have told you.
- Are you deaf? - No, yu is blind.
I'm not blind, you blind.
- That is what i just said. - You just said what?
- I did not say what, i said yu. - That's what i'm asking you.
- And yu is answering. - Shut up!
- You! - Yes?
Not you, him!
- What's your name? - Mi.
- Yes, you! - I am mi.
He is mi, and i am yu.
And i'm about to whup your old ass, man, 'cause i'm sick of playin' games!
You, me, everybody's ass around here! Him!
- Carter, carter. - I'm-A kick his ass.
- I'm sick of this. - Carter, let me handle this.
- Lee. No, lee. No! - Carter!
Go.
Let's go.
I don't know what the hell you feedin' him...
- But he is too damn big! - Carter. Go.
Where is everyone?
Where's all the damn cops?
- Lee. - Where's security?
They were called away.
W... What's wrong?
Carter.
Aw, this ain't good.
They're coming for him.
What do we do?
No.
No!
Don't move, or i'll blow your ass cheeks off.
Get back.
Ugh!
Who sent you?
Oh!
Don't move!
Lee, throw me a gun!
- Huh? - Throw me a gun!
- Damn, lee! - Huh?
Lee! I thought you had my back!
Aaaaaah!
Ugh!
Soo yung, one more!
Hyah!
Aaaaah!
Lee, i'm in trouble! I need some assistance.
Here.
It's empty.
What?
Hah!
You see? I always got your back.
Why the hell you give me an empty gun, then?
I didn't know.
You almost got me killed, lee.
- Ah! Ahh! - Who are you? Who sent you?
What the hell is that?
I think he's speaking french.
French? What kind of chinaman speak french?
Tell him to stop playin' around and talk right.
How can i tell him? I don't speak french.
Ah!
Talk right, man.
No! You're asian. Stop humiliatin' yourself.
Shut the hell up. Shut up. Come here.
We're gonna need a few minutes alone with this guy.
Find someone here who speaks french, please.
Speak english!
Uh, this is sister agnes from the chapel upstairs.
She speaks fluent french and has agreed to interpret for you.
Sister, we appreciate you doin' this.
My pleasure.
Sister agnes, please ask who sent him.
He says you're both making a big mistake.
That one day soon you'll beg for mercy.
He also said...
What?
Please, sister, we have to know.
There's lives at stake.
Well, he used the n-Word.
What? The n-Word?
- You tell this little motherf... - Carter!
She's a nun.
Sister, you tell this piece of s-Word that i will personally f-Word him up.
Did he say "negro"?
He used the n-Word again, but this time he mentioned your grandmother.
You tell him that his mama's a h!
Carter, i believe "whore" is spelled with a w.
Right. W. And his sister's a w.
And his grandmama's a two-Bit w...
Who makes double 'cause she got no teeth!
You tell him i said that.
Did he say it again?
No. This time he called...
This gentleman a word that means "cat"...
And another word that rhymes with "maggot."
What?
Well, you tell him he's an a.W.
Uh, lee, "hole" is spelled with a h.
I have a dictionary upstairs.
Just call him an asshole.
He says you've both been marked for death, like han and the girl.
Ooh. Sister, turn your back. You don't want to see this.
Who is shy shen and how do we find him?
Tell us right now or i'll cut your b's off and shove 'em in your mouth.
- His beads? - His beads, sister.
His hairy, stinkin' beads.
Tell me somethin' now.
Lee, give me the gun. Give me the gun, lee.
It's over, brother. It's over. Ok.
Who is shy shen?
What did he say, sister?
He said "shoot me."
Lee, there's no bullets in here.
- I'm sorry. - I am trying to kill somebody, man.
Damn. Ok.
You better tell me something right now.
I'll send you right to heaven, man.
- I don't even care no more. - Carter.
I'm marked for death. I ain't got nothin' to lose.
That's right, sister. Call the lord and tell him he 'bout to have some company.
Carter, stop.
Tell me something!
- Carter, enough. - Oh, she's almost done.
Forgive me, father, for i have sinned!
He says wait!
- What did he say? - 50 franklin d. Roosevelt.
Genevieve.
Thank you.
Nice workin' with ya, sister.
Anytime, brother.
50 fdr.
- It's an address. - It's a wild goose chase.
Every city in america has a street named after roosevelt.
- And who is genevieve? - I don't know.
Soo yung, we're getting you out of here.
- Why? - It's not safe for you here.
I won't leave him.
We have no choice.
- Soo yung. - Mr. Reynard.
I'm glad your father is ok.
My people won't leave his side.
- You have my word. - Thank you.
So, let's go.
- Ah. - Wh... Where am i going?
We're getting out of los angeles. It's not safe for us.
Just a few days, soo yung. I promise.
You'll come with me and my family to paris.
Ok.
Wait.
You made me a promise.
Don't forget.
My god.
We got a assassin in custody who only speaks french...
A limo blows up at the french consulate...
And the next meeting of the world court is in paris, two days from now.
Are you thinking what i'm thinking?
Yeah.
That we go to fiji, we hide out for a year...
Maybe change our names, get jobs as bartenders...
And i'm-A call you kiko.
We have to find shy shen before he finds us.
We're going to paris, aren't we?
Yes. Tonight.
Did you know the average french woman is naked 34 percent of the time?
We are not going there to meet women.
You have to forget about her, and let me hook you up.
Hook me up? After what you did to isabella?
It was an accident.
Besides, you never even slept with her.
Thanks to you. It was going to happen.
But you just had to ruin it.
What did i do that was so terrible?
You shot my girlfriend. In the neck!
There's nothing else to say.
It's not like she died.
So she has droopy eyes. So she works at el poco loco.
That was temporary.
As soon as she could blink, the secret service took her back.
You know what your problem is? You need to relax, have some fun.
You have too much rice in your diet. You're constipated.
I never should have brought you.
Face it, you need me, brother.
I don't need anyone. And please don't call me brother.
What is this?
Underground gentleman's club in paris.
"club la passe"? Forget it.
Check out the address.
"50 franklin d... Roosevelt."
Like i said, you need me.
'scuse me. Can we have one gefilte fish and some ex-Lax?
Where the bags at, man?
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Commissaire revi of the dst. Would you please come with me?
Why?
Just need to ask you a few questions.
Oh! Oh! Man! Goddamn, man!
Oh! Man, this is by far the worst airport i ever been to.
Oh!
- Ooph! - Ah, man!
Now that i have your attention, why don't you tell me...
What you cops are looking for here in paris.
I told you, man. We on vacation.
Just taking in the sights.
Gentlemen, this is my city...
And i'm responsible if two stupid cops come here...
And get their heads blown off by the triads.
Now, i can't force you to leave, but i can make the suggestion.
After all, i found this dirty little gun inside your jacket.
Which means you could both do 20 years in my jail.
Do we understand each other?
Excellent. It was wonderful meeting you both.
So we can go now?
This will just take a moment.
Welcome to paris.
Oh, shit.
Ohh. Ohhh.
- Ahh. - Where you go?
- Ugh. - 50 franklin, uh...
D. Roosevelt.
No. Get out.
- What? - I don't drive his kind.
- My kind? - Americans.
I don't drive americans.
- But i'm chinese. - Yeah, but you're with him...
And they're the most violent people on earth.
Always starting wars, always killing people.
Americans make me sick.
Look, man, we are not in the mood for this.
Me and my partner just got violated by a small frenchman.
Wearing a very large ring.
You're a pathetic bunch of criminals who always resort to violence.
Always push around the little guy.
Hey, that stuff ain't true. America's not violent!
Come on, america is a joke.
You lost in vietnam, you lost in iraq.
You can't even beat the europeans in basketball anymore.
The dream team is dead.
Ha ha. I didn't hear you, man.
Talk about the nba again, i dare ya. I double-Dare ya.
Even your skinny women disgust me.
- Halle berry. - Wh...? Aw, hell no.
Now you done gone too far.
You want violence, smelly frenchman? Huh?
Do you want violence? Well, you got it!
- Carter, put the gun down. - Say you love america.
I love america. Please, don't kill me.
Sing the national anthem!
Not that one, man! Sing the american one.
Don't know it.
Wait for us here, george.
Ooh la la. Lee.
Carter, stay focused.
We're looking for genevieve.
Let's split up. I'll take the women.
Carter. James carter.
I know you probably don't understand a word i'm saying...
But i gotta tell you...
You're the most beautiful woman i ever seen in my life.
And i'd like to strip you down and butter you...
Like a slice of wonder bread.
And shave your armpits and pour honey all over your naked body.
And for the next two weeks pretend i was a hungry bear.
Well, james carter, i happen to speak six languages.
One of 'em english?
Are you in or out?
Money plays.
Sir, it's a thousand-Euro minimum.
How much i'm short?
930 euros.
- Heh. - It's ok.
Let him play.
Thank you.
Changez.
- Changez. - Changez.
Changez?
I'm looking for genevieve.
Maybe i can help you.
Do you know what i hate about cops?
Even when they're with a woman...
They can't stop thinking about getting their man.
Who is shy shen?
See what i mean?
Come upstairs, cop. I'll give you what you want.
- Hit me. - Monsieur, this is baccarat.
I know that!
You think i don't know baccarack when i play it?
When i was a kid, me and my friends and i...
Used to hang out in front of the magic johnson theater...
And play baccarack all night long.
Now hit me.
Three kings. Read 'em and weep.
Three kings is a zero.
You have the worst possible hand. You lose.
What?
Ah, madame has a 7.
She wins 100,000 euros. Bravo.
Mr. Carter, it appears you have brought me luck.
I'd like to bring you breakfast in bed.
Excuse me.
Way to go, lee.
Today, my boy becomes a man.
Why are you helping me?
Maybe i'm helping myself.
How do i find genevieve?
I see you like to get right to it.
Do you know shy shen?
Would you like to know a secret, cop?
Yes, please.
Someone's gonna die here tonight.
And it's you.
- Huh! Huh! - Ugh!
- Huh! - Ahh!
Unh!
- Unh! - Ah!
- Uh! - Urgh! Ah!
Ohh! Ah! Oh!
Ugh! Grrrrr!
Ohhh!
Ah! Ahhh!
- Nngh! Guh! - Oh! Ah!
- Gnnh! - Ahhh!
Come on, crouching tiger, don't hide that dragon.
- Uh! - Aaah!
Do it, lee. You tear that ass up.
- Ahh! - Oh, oh!
You are a super freak!
Carter!
Oh!
- Run! - Oh!
- Ahh! - Sorry.
- You got a boyfriend? - Carter!
Start the car.
- Start the car! - Drive fast!
Carter. Look!
Uh, george? We need you to go faster, man.
No. Forget it.
You wanna kill me, then go ahead, kill me.
- Ahh! - Drive faster!
Please! I'm scared!
George, you watch american movies?
- Yeah. - Ok, man. All right.
Listen, you're a super-Spy.
A super-Spy.
Now drive this cab.
- Come on. - Ok.
I'm a super-Spy.
Oh, shit, george. Go!
- Aah! - George...
When i tell you to, hit the brakes.
Now!
Oh, they got guns, lee!
- Ungh! - Ah!
- Ungh! - Back up!
Argh!
Way to go, george.
It's ok.
Uh!
Aah!
Hey!
I got this one.
Aah!
Oh! Whoa! He's got my leg!
Aaaah!
Lee! God!
- Aaaaah! - Hold m...
Ah!
Get your own damn cab.
Ow!
Lee!
- Urgh! - Yah!
Yeah! Whoa!
- Ungh! - Oh!
The french are neutral! This is not my fight!
This is not...!
Ah! Lee, i'm alive.
My whole life flashed in front of me.
In three years i'll be married to a chinese woman.
We had three kids looked just like you, only a little darker.
- Carter. - What?
Put your hands up.
What you talkin' 'bout?
Whoa!
Some people say the modern world was invented...
When the french built these sewers.
10 million gallons pumped through every hour.
A marvel that no one ever sees.
Welcome to paris, lee.
Lee, you know this clown?
Go on, lee. Tell him who i am. Don't be shy.
Introduce him to your shyong dih.
Shyong dih? Your brother?
He doesn't talk about me much.
In fact, he's spent his whole life trying to forget me.
How would it look if hong kong's great inspector lee...
Had a brother on the wrong side of the law?
You're not my brother anymore.
Let me repay the favor, lee.
I'll allow you to live if you promise to leave paris tonight.
You got a deal. Thank you for showin' us the sewer.
Listen, that's a badass suit. Let's get the hell outta here.
What about han and his daughter?
There is nothing i can do for them.
- I have no choice. - Then i have no choice.
Well, i guess he's stayin'. Who wanna take me to the airport?
We'll always be brothers, lee.
In this life and the next.
Tell me, kenji, who's shy shen?
Some secrets are worth dying for.
Oh. Ok. A... All right. Ok.
Lee, what the hell is goin' on?
Go!
Hey, which way, man?
- Shit, lee, it's locked! - Over here!
- Lee! - We have to jump!
- Ooph. - Oh, that's the sewer!
- Hell no, lee! - No choice!
- I'd rather die. - Come on!
Oh!
Shi-I-I-I-I-It!
I'm gonna kill you, lee!
Bonjour. Welcome to the plaza athenee.
How may i help you?
It's great to see you again. It's been too long.
Yes, far too long, sir.
Listen, i need a big suite, two beds, two showers...
A massage therapist, some new clothes and a case of old spice.
It's all your fault. How come you didn't tell me about kenji?
It was none of your business.
In case you missed it, man, people are tryin' to kill me.
I'm covered in shit and some french cops whupped my ass...
With some yellow pages, man.
So don't tell me it ain't none of my business.
You're lucky we're not in hong kong.
Phone book is twice as big.
Why you didn't tell me you had a brother, man?
Oh, hell, no...
- Lady. - Oui?
This damn dog just pissed on me.
Good girl.
You know what i think?
I think you feel sorry for this guy.
Maybe kenji didn't get away in la.
Maybe you let him go.
The yakuza killed his family in tokyo. He was sent to china when he was 7.
He was put in chenzhou, the orphanage where i grew up.
We kept each other alive.
You protected each other. And you're still protectin' him.
I call him shyong dih.
He was like my brother.
And then i left him.
You was adopted. What choice did you have?
He ended up on the streets.
You could never understand.
I understand, man. I got a brother.
My little brother perry.
We used to be best friends. Now we don't even speak.
He think i tipped off the cops about his chicken fights in his garage.
Can you believe that? My own brother think i'm a snitch.
Just 'cause my chicken lost in the semifinals.
I didn't even really care.
- Carter. - Fight was fixed, man.
My bird was fightin' a chicken that didn't make his weight.
And he still went the distance.
He had a lotta heart. And he was delicious.
It's best if i do this on my own. This fight is personal.
Lemme help you, man. I'm-A tell you right now...
Whatever kenji's tellin' you, it ain't true.
- He ain't your brother. - And you are not my brother.
Huh.
Fine.
I'm not your brother.
Wow. Holy smokes!
Okey-Dokey, dr. Jones. Hold on to your potatoes.
Yes, i would like to order some fried chicken, please.
Oh, and some sweet-Potato pie.
Merci.
Enjoy your mu shu, sir.
- Merci. - Goodbye.
Hm. "genevieve."
Phew.
- Oh. - Hello, inspector.
Minister reynard.
They want to kill me. Me and my family.
A dozen agents from the french secret police...
Have already been murdered... Only this last month.
We are at war with the triads, right here in my own city.
Who is shy shen?
Ah, shy shen... Uh... Shy shen is not a person.
It's a list.
- A list? - Yes.
Every 5 years, the triad bosses come together...
For an election, and during that ceremony they choose the men...
Who will lead the triads.
- Dragon heads. - Yes.
13 dragon heads who will control...
The largest criminal organization in the world.
And their 13 names are inscribed on the list known as shy shen.
A list which has been handed down and kept secret...
From generation to generation.
If the names on that list were ever to get out...
Well, the secret society wouldn't be so secret anymore...
And they would all end up in jail, or dead.
And the list is somewhere in paris?
A young lady named genevieve made contact with ambassador han...
And we believe she knows where it is.
I'm asking for your help, inspector.
Finish what ambassador han started.
Get to the girl before the triads do and you'll get shy shen.
Ha ha ha!
Ca va, oui, oui, voulez-Vous.
I don't understand. Who are you?
- Who am i? - Oui.
I'm bubbles. The new costume designer!
Has anyone seen genevieve?
Uh, she has her own dressing room.
Ah.
Wait. Bubbles.
Uh, do we look ok?
No. No, no.
These costumes are terrible!
Ladies, please, we have work to do!
First, i will dress the blondes.
And then...
The brunettes.
And finally...
The hybrids.
The lord have truly bless you all with tremendous talent...
Trust me.
And some of you have what i like to call...
Silver-Dollar potential.
Lee! What you doin' here?
What are you doing here?
- I found genevieve. - So did i.
- They're gonna kill her. - What?
- Lee, you get the lights, i'll get the girl. - Oh.
- Your life is in danger. - What the hell's going on?
You step into that spotlight, it's the last step you ever gonna take.
They're gonna kill you right now.
James carter, lapd.
Sorry, james. It's time for my solo.
You gotta come with me now, girl.
Get your hands off me!
We are friends of ambassador han.
Trust us, girl.
Taxi.
Taxi!
- Get in. - It's george!
Go, go, go.
I've been looking for you all day, my friend.
We need to talk.
Forget it, george. We're not paying for any damages.
Oh, no, no, no. I don't want you to pay.
I wanna ask if i could drive you full time no charge.
Why you want to drive us?
Today was amazing. The guns, the shooting.
Now i understand what it is to be an american.
Please, i'm begging you. Let me be your driver.
Let me kill someone tonight!
You'll never be an american, ok?
I'll drink this shit all day if i have to.
Just give me a chance.
All right, fine. Get us to the plaza, fast.
You got it, boss.
Hold on.
So you think she stole this shy shen list from the triads?
Only one way to find out.
You thinking what i'm thinking?
We need her to talk. Get her relaxed.
Maybe open up some wine from the minibar.
Wow.
Maybe we should put on a dirty movie.
- Lee! - Only 9.95.
This our chance to find shy shen.
I'm goin' in.
What's wrong with you?
Wait, let me go with you.
Some things a man has to do on his own.
You ok?
Kenji must have figured out what i've done.
I'm as good as dead.
You stole the list, didn't you? You tried to sell it to han?
You don't get it. I'm one of them.
And if i'm dead, you're dead.
Hey, we're safe. No one knows we're here.
Just relax.
No one is safe.
I'm marked.
Trust me.
Now why should i trust you?
As the chinese say...
What does that mean?
"a donkey's lips will not fit on a horse's mouth."
I'm not sure how that applies.
Well, i was just thinking you had nice lips.
That's all.
You saved my life today. Thank you, carter.
Oh, please. Call me james.
Or stallion.
No one's saved me in a long time.
How can i repay you?
You got 20 bucks?
How 'bout ten?
Oh, man. Mmm.
- James. - What?
- I'm bad. - I'm bad too.
I'm a bad girl.
Hallelujah!
Oh, yeah. That's it, baby. Yeah. Uh-Oh.
Ha ha. Oh, yeah. That's it, baby.
Oh, yeah. Bite that ear. Punish that ear.
Do what you wanna do.
Oh, baby... Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
My nipples are sensitive. Be careful down there.
I've never been with an american man before.
Neither have i.
I feel so safe with you. Do you want me?
Ha. How you say "twice now and once in the shower" in french?
Wait here. I'm going to the bathroom.
Make myself more comfortable.
You need some matches?
Don't move. I'll be right back.
Hello, room service?
Send me up a bottle of honey and some red bull.
Do you like it?
No wonder lance armstrong came all the way here to ride a bike.
Merci beaucoup.
Oui, baby, oui!
Oh, yeah.
Voulez... Vous coucher avec moi, baby?
Je t'aime.
Voulez-Vous.
Oh, yeah.
Je t'aime, baby, je t'aime!
Freeze! Don't move!
Ah! Shit! Damn!
- I'm shot. - It's ok, it's ok.
It's just a flesh wound. It's ok. Gen...
Genevieve, genevieve, let me help you.
- Let me help you, baby. - I'm terribly sorry.
- I'm ok. - Where you going?
Je... Damn.
So we even now, huh? Is that it?
I shoot your girl, you shoot my girl?
I was trying to save your life.
Well, you couldn't wait five minutes?
We... We was about to make love, man!
And you ruin it.
They will be coming for us. We have to get out of here now.
You hear that? We have to get out of here now.
- Damn, lee! Damn you. - Sorry.
Next time i'm getting my own damn room.
Get them out, george.
These people are danger, they're bleeding.
How can you bring them to our home?
Paulette, there is something you should know.
I'm not what you think i am.
Are you telling me you're gay?
I'm trying tell you... I'm an american spy.
Ha. You a spy?
Yes, i'm working undercover with the police.
We're about to crack a big case!
Shut your mouth, george. Not another word.
You're a stupid cab driver, like your father was a stupid cab driver.
What kind of case could you crack?
Can't talk about it.
From this moment on, don't ever ask me about my business!
Come with me, schmuck. Now.
We need to get out of the city.
We're not going anywhere till you tell us exactly what's going on.
Did you steal that list from the triads?
Genevieve, we cannot help you until you tell us the truth.
Where is shy shen?
It's right here.
Holy mother of jesus! She's a man.
I went to second base with a damn frenchman.
It's the crying games.
I'm brokeback carter. Oh, god.
I'm not a man. It's just a wig.
You sure about that? Huh?
Lee, go over there and check the hardware.
If she got anything in her bag bigger than a three-Iron...
We gonna beat his ass!
I'm a woman, james. A woman who needs a way out.
You have to help me.
- You have shy shen? - No.
I am shy shen.
In ancient times, when the triads would select new leaders...
They would secretly tattoo the names onto a woman...
A woman who could carry the list of shy shen...
To the 35 provinces of china.
When her journey ended and the new leaders were informed...
The woman would be beheaded and buried forever.
No records, no witnesses.
What type of tradition is that?
Have these guys ever heard of a damn fax machine?
Kenji made me do it, said it was a great honor.
I wanted to do it for him. For the brotherhood.
Then why did you send the names to han?
Because i thought the world court could protect me.
But now i see... Nobody can.
You are messed up in some weird shit, lady.
I mean man. Whatever the hell you are.
I'm a woman!
And they will send a army to kill me. To protect their way.
You know what? We can't fight no army, lee.
Who gonna protect me? I mean us?
I know a place.
I won't be here when you come out. I'm sorry.
My wife says i can't be a spy, that i have to be home for dinner.
The truth is i'm a driver. Nothing more.
This is my destiny.
I will never know what it's like to be an american.
Never know what it feels like to kill for no reason.
George, it's ok.
Thank you.
Au revoir. And good luck.
- Au revoir. - Bye, george.
Minister reynard.
We have it.
The shy shen list? This is incredible.
Some people said it was a myth.
Naw, it's no myth. I've seen it. Felt it.
Kissed it. But i didn't french kiss it.
You do understand how dangerous this is?
I was gonna use protection.
Can we go to the police?
The triads control too many of them here.
We have to get you out of the country.
Now, my dear...
Would you mind taking off that wig and showing us shy shen?
We never told him she was the list.
Look at that. 13 names linked to centuries of tradition.
The only real proof that their secret world exists.
Ugh!
Genevieve, get their guns.
I told you he was bad. Didn't i tell you?
No.
Well, i was thinkin' it.
The explosion at the embassy.
As head of the world criminal court...
It would make sense for me to be a target.
Why did you come to my room?
Genevieve was going to be killed.
Having you die in the crossfire would put an end to the investigation.
Now, it will end another way.
Ha ha. It's over, reynard.
You know what it's like for old men in prison?
They call you "pops." they make you work in the library.
Your best friend? Gonna be a mouse.
I'm not going to prison.
You have a phone call, inspector.
Hello, brother.
I'd like to make a trade.
Some friends of mine came across something in los angeles.
Something very valuable.
Lee.
Help me, please.
Do we understand each other?
What do you want?
Shy shen.
You and genevieve will meet me alone tonight.
If i see your partner or any other cops, the girl dies.
Where?
Jules verne restaurant, midnight. Don't be late.
Welcome to the party, lee.
Tonight we celebrate the return of shy shen...
And the return of my brother.
Where is soo yung?
Ungh.
This sword has a past.
And like ours, it has seen much pain, much blood.
Urgh!
Hundreds of years ago the triads would kill their enemies...
With 100 cuts to the body.
They would be very careful to avoid any major arteries...
So that the victim would stay alive for as long as possible.
You have just experienced your first cut.
If anything happens to soo yung...
You could never kill me, lee. We both know that.
You know nothing about me.
I know you have no wife, no children, no family.
Your life ended when we were kids, back in chenzhou.
You have nothing. Just like me.
I wouldn't say nothin'!
He has me.
His brother from another mother.
Where is she?
Enjoying the view.
Soo yung!
Lee!
Help.
Let her go.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Do you wanna die, kenji?
Get her in here!
Carter, drop the gun.
Get her off that damn rope, or i'm shootin' you...
And the damn temptations.
Right now!
Oh, no! Lee!
Lee.
- Do it! - Put her down!
I'm serious!
I'm not playin'!
You ain't my damn brother.
Kenji.
- Drop the gun. - No.
Drop it, carter.
Shit.
Damn it.
- Tonight i lose a brother. - Aah!
Get him, lee!
Gonna get your ass kicked, kenji.
Come on, kill him already!
Lee, he might be your brother, but turn him into your sister.
Watch out!
Yeah!
Bring your little ass here. Come here.
Aaaargh.
Give me your hand.
Nnngh!
Ah!
- Grrrah! - Aaaah!
Lee? Lee!
- Gnn! - Hold on, i'm comin'!
Get the hell off me.
Oh.
Yeah, lee!
Whoo!
Whoa!
Yaaaaah!
Ah! Ahhhh!
Ahh... Ah...
Ahhhh! God da...
Enough, kenji!
Grrrargh!
Aaaaah!
Rrrraaaargh!
Rrrraargh!
Hoh hoh hoh hoh hoh hoh hoh!
Soo yung!
Aaaaah!
What are you waiting for? Do it!
Ah!
Ungh!
Let go.
Or we're both gonna die.
No! I can save you.
Ungh. Grrn.
Guh.
Goodbye, lee.
No, kenji!
No!
Aaah!
Ah...
Gah!
Unh.
Aaaah!
I'm comin', soo yung!
Oh, my god!
What the hell am i doin' up here?
Aah! Help.
Stay cool, lady. This doesn't have to end this way.
Don't do it. Don't do it, lady.
Don't you do it!
Think about what you doin'.
Please.
Please. No.
Hey. Hey!
Would you like to know a secret, cop?
No.
Please.
Aaah! Oh, no! No!
No!
Aaaah!
Ah!
Aaah!
Ah! Aaah!
Ah! Aaaaaaah!
Oh! Oh.
Oh.
Huh!
Uh! Uh!
Uh!
Lee! You shoulda seen us, man. We whupped their ass.
Soo yung!
I'm ok.
Oh, shit!
Call the police.
Ungh!
Ohhhhh!
Ah... Yah!
Yeah!
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa-Oa! Whoa!
Rah! Hah! Carter!
- Hold on! - Aaah!
Ah! Yaaaaah!
- Aaaaah! - Aaah!
Gnn.
Ah! Oh!
- Hang on! - Lee! Reel me in.
- I got you! - Black people don't fly.
Get me up. Get me up.
Come on, man. Hurry up.
Ungh.
Oh! Lee! Get me outta here!
Ungh. Argh. Ah.
Don't let go of that flag!
- Argh. - Ah!
Ungh.
Ah!
- Ah. - Thank you, lee.
Carter! Hold on to the flag!
Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- Aaaaah! - Aaaaah!
- Aaaaaah! - Aaaaaah!
- Aaaah! - Aaaah!
Aaaah!
Aaaaaaaah!
Lee, i'm gonna kill you if we don't die!
- Aaaah! - Aaaaaah!
Oh, dear lord, please! Baby jesus, help us!
- Aaaaaaaaah! - Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Lee! Where you at?
I'm drownin'! I'm drownin'!
Get this thing off me, lee!
- Carter. - What?
I'm not constipated anymore.
Put your hands up.
Genevieve.
Hey, man, you're the head of the world court.
What you gonna do, shoot us down like animals?
We're police officers.
Yes. And you two just killed this girl.
Blew her brains out.
- Carter! - Don't do it!
Carter.
- You all right? - Put the gun down.
I followed you.
Case closed.
Good job, man.
Hey, man! You touch me again...
You gonna owe me dinner and a movie.
Congratulations.
It appears we have finally brought down the triads.
- We? - You didn't do shit.
My butt still hurts.
The americans and the french...
Need to work together in the spirit of brotherhood.
Together, we can do anything.
Anything! Ha ha ha.
He's right, lee. Together, we can do anything.
You go this way...
And i'll go that way.
That's right, lee. For the last 3 years...
I've studied the ancient teaching of booty. Ev...
Oh, booty. Ha ha ha ha!
Cheese!
- Ha ha ha! - "cheese"?
- Ha ha ha ha ha! - What?
- Freeze. - Oh, freeze!
As soon as she could blink, the s... Seafood service...
- Seaf... Seafood... - Secret service.
As soon as sh... She could blink...
The sheafood shervish... Uh, swa...
Secret service.
The ssssseaf...
Secret, not seafood.
I know seafood.
- I know secret. - Secret.
- Secret. See?
But when everything together, it become a seafood!
- Ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha ha!
Action!
- I'm sorry! So sorry. - It came off.
Action!
- Oh, shit. You all right? - Yeah, good.
That was my... Muhammad ali swing, man!
Yeah, baby!
Ooh.
- Oh. - Whoa.
- That's the one, mama. - That would have been it.
I'm sick of you, kenji.
You been tryin' to kill us ever since the start of this damn movie.
- Raaaaah! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Ah!
Action.
Ooph!
You ok?
So her eye is a little droopy now and she's...
So she's working for el loc... Lar el poco.
- Ha ha ha. - I'm sorry.
It's el pollo loco.
So sh... Now she works at el lolo poco.
El pollo loco.
El lo... Loro poco. Uh.
El poco loco.
El loco poco.
So... So she works at elo... Loco poco, so what?
Ha ha!
And... So she works for el l... Loro poco.
- Ha ha ha. - El pollo loco.
- No, we gonna go past that... - Ha ha ha!
'cause i'm not gettin' that tonight.
El pollo loco.
El... Ohh! Jackie!
- El pollo loco! - Whoo!
The mom's gone.
Maybe we should put on a dirty movie.
Lee!
- I like the ones with a story. - What?
- I like the one with a locker-Room scene. - What?
I like the one with a prison scene.
I like the one with a shower scene.
I like the ones with a white girl.
I'm into feet.
I like the one with the horses.
- What's that mean? - Damn.
What he teach me?
That's it, one more, one more. Last one.
Are you teaching me a bad word?
I like the one with hairy woman.
What's wrong with you?
I don't know. Brett ratner tell...
- Teach me that. - He'll teach you anything.
And you're not my brother.
I'm not your brother?
All the stuff we've been through?
Rush hour 1, rush hour 2?
- Ha ha ha. - Ha ha ha ha ha!