1 00:01:08,927 --> 00:01:12,097 We are gathered here today to immortalize in song 2 00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:15,560 the life and untimely death of a great legend. 3 00:01:15,601 --> 00:01:18,145 Rango... So sit back, relax, 4 00:01:18,187 --> 00:01:21,940 and enjoy your low-calorie popcorn and assorted confections 5 00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:26,945 while we tell you the strange and bewildering tale of a hero 6 00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:30,241 who has yet to enter his own story. 7 00:01:45,214 --> 00:01:47,674 Crunchy, creamy, cookie, candy, cupcake. 8 00:01:49,385 --> 00:01:51,303 Okay, everybody, let's take it from the top. 9 00:01:52,804 --> 00:01:56,475 The stage is set, the night moist with apprehension. 10 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:59,520 Alone in her chamber, the princess prepares to take her own life. 11 00:02:01,105 --> 00:02:02,981 "It is far better to nourish worms 12 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,858 "than to live without love." 13 00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:07,069 She reaches for the poisoned chalice. 14 00:02:07,111 --> 00:02:08,737 Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio 15 00:02:08,779 --> 00:02:10,864 plots his ascension to the throne 16 00:02:10,906 --> 00:02:13,451 while her aging father lies gravely ill. 17 00:02:13,492 --> 00:02:15,244 "Yes, I am gravely ill." 18 00:02:16,787 --> 00:02:19,248 "Hark, who goes there?" 19 00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:21,667 'Tis I, the much- anticipated hero, 20 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,336 returning to rescue his emotionally unstable maiden! 21 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,338 Unhand her, you jailers of virtue, 22 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:29,007 or taste the bitter sting of my vengeance! 23 00:02:30,635 --> 00:02:32,303 The sting of my... 24 00:02:34,846 --> 00:02:36,557 Dr. Marx? 25 00:02:36,599 --> 00:02:38,016 Dr. Marx, I'm not getting anything from you. 26 00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:41,061 People, we've talked about this. 27 00:02:41,103 --> 00:02:43,063 Acting is reacting. 28 00:02:43,105 --> 00:02:45,483 Victor, you were wooden! There, I said it. 29 00:02:45,524 --> 00:02:47,443 Mr. Timms? You were good. 30 00:02:49,111 --> 00:02:51,029 Perhaps a little too good. 31 00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:52,490 What's that, Victor? 32 00:02:52,531 --> 00:02:55,367 My character's undefined? That's absurd. 33 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,703 I know who I am. 34 00:02:57,744 --> 00:03:00,164 I'm the guy, the protagonist, the hero. 35 00:03:00,205 --> 00:03:01,499 Every story needs a hero. 36 00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:04,084 I mean, who else is better qualified 37 00:03:04,126 --> 00:03:07,463 to bask in the adulation of his numerous companions? 38 00:03:27,191 --> 00:03:29,568 The stage is waiting. 39 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:31,654 The audience thirsts for adventure. 40 00:03:34,406 --> 00:03:35,491 Who am I? 41 00:03:36,992 --> 00:03:39,453 I could be anyone. 42 00:03:39,495 --> 00:03:40,912 I could be the sea cap'n 43 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,456 returning from a mighty voyage 44 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,042 to reclaim his mechanical arm! 45 00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:47,127 Ow! Ow! 46 00:03:47,169 --> 00:03:49,171 Or I could be the rogue anthropologist, 47 00:03:49,213 --> 00:03:50,756 battling pythons down in the Congo! 48 00:03:51,590 --> 00:03:53,884 Down, Chongo, down! 49 00:03:53,925 --> 00:03:56,178 And if you desire romance, 50 00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:58,847 I will become the greatest lover 51 00:03:58,889 --> 00:04:00,766 the world has ever known! 52 00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:11,985 I couldn't help but notice you noticing me noticing you. 53 00:04:12,027 --> 00:04:15,656 You know, the womens find me uncomfortably good looking. 54 00:04:15,698 --> 00:04:17,575 But you seem remarkably at ease. 55 00:04:18,576 --> 00:04:20,578 Oh, stop it. No, really. 56 00:04:20,619 --> 00:04:22,954 Well, if you must. What are you doing? 57 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,456 That tickles. Are those real? 58 00:04:26,041 --> 00:04:28,669 That's it! Conflict. 59 00:04:28,711 --> 00:04:30,462 Victor, you were right. I have been undefined. 60 00:04:31,714 --> 00:04:33,674 People, I've had an epiphany. 61 00:04:33,716 --> 00:04:36,594 The hero cannot exist in a vacuum! 62 00:04:36,635 --> 00:04:39,471 What our story needs is an ironic, unexpected event 63 00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,432 that will propel the hero into conflict! 64 00:05:38,489 --> 00:05:39,489 Mr. Timms? 65 00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:45,621 Ooh... 66 00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:15,734 Oye! 67 00:06:21,490 --> 00:06:23,575 That's right! You! 68 00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,537 Don't be shy. Come on. 69 00:06:27,204 --> 00:06:28,747 It's okay. 70 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,541 That's it, a little closer. 71 00:06:32,376 --> 00:06:34,169 Good. 72 00:06:34,211 --> 00:06:35,713 I won't bite you. 73 00:06:38,382 --> 00:06:39,633 I need a little help here. 74 00:06:40,509 --> 00:06:41,677 Are you okay? 75 00:06:42,594 --> 00:06:45,430 I must get to the other side. 76 00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:46,416 The other side? You mean, just now, 77 00:06:46,431 --> 00:06:48,183 that was you crossing the road? 78 00:06:48,225 --> 00:06:50,185 That's why the... 79 00:06:50,227 --> 00:06:51,562 Why'd you do that? 80 00:06:51,603 --> 00:06:54,857 This is my quest. He waits for me. 81 00:06:54,899 --> 00:06:56,859 What? Who? 82 00:06:56,901 --> 00:07:00,404 The Spirit of the West, amigo. The one. 83 00:07:00,445 --> 00:07:02,573 They say he rides an alabaster carriage 84 00:07:02,614 --> 00:07:04,533 with golden guardians to protect him. 85 00:07:04,575 --> 00:07:06,660 What are you talking about? 86 00:07:06,702 --> 00:07:10,622 Enlightenment. We are nothing without it. 87 00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:13,709 Nothing? Your delusional quest just ruined my life! 88 00:07:13,751 --> 00:07:16,253 I had an incredibly complex social network going! 89 00:07:16,294 --> 00:07:17,337 Highly sophisticated friends! 90 00:07:17,379 --> 00:07:19,172 I was very popular! 91 00:07:19,214 --> 00:07:21,299 Friends? I don't see no friends. 92 00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:27,055 You are a very lonely lizard. 93 00:07:27,097 --> 00:07:31,268 Now help me up and I will help you find what you seek. 94 00:07:31,309 --> 00:07:34,354 You will? Quickly. I must get back to my quest. 95 00:07:34,396 --> 00:07:35,773 You mean you've done this before? 96 00:07:35,814 --> 00:07:37,691 Oh, yes. Many times. 97 00:07:38,734 --> 00:07:40,986 Come, come. That's it, pull my finger. 98 00:07:41,946 --> 00:07:43,948 The Spirit is waiting for me. 99 00:07:43,989 --> 00:07:45,156 Okay, okay. 100 00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:53,206 Okay. That's not going to work. 101 00:07:53,248 --> 00:07:55,500 I must get to the other side. 102 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:59,129 Why don't you just wait until there are no cars coming? 103 00:07:59,170 --> 00:08:00,505 It's not so easy as it looks. 104 00:08:01,006 --> 00:08:02,090 What? 105 00:08:02,132 --> 00:08:03,216 Is a metaphor. 106 00:08:33,038 --> 00:08:34,706 Whoa! There's another one! 107 00:08:36,834 --> 00:08:38,002 I knew it. 108 00:08:49,638 --> 00:08:51,431 You need a little help, amigo? 109 00:08:51,473 --> 00:08:54,559 I think the metaphor broke my spleen. 110 00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,979 The path to knowledge is fraught with consequence. 111 00:08:57,021 --> 00:09:00,273 I'm just looking for the path to water. 112 00:09:00,315 --> 00:09:04,736 If you want to find water, you must first find Dirt. 113 00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:06,237 Dirt. 114 00:09:08,073 --> 00:09:10,575 Destiny, she is kind to you. 115 00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:13,161 Tomorrow is Wednesday. The water comes. 116 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,373 At noon, the townspeople gather 117 00:09:16,414 --> 00:09:18,000 for a mysterious ritual. 118 00:09:18,042 --> 00:09:20,044 Oh! A town? 119 00:09:20,085 --> 00:09:23,047 You mean, with real people and everything? Where? 120 00:09:23,088 --> 00:09:25,841 A day's journey. Follow your shadow. 121 00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:30,554 You want me to just walk out into the desert? 122 00:09:30,595 --> 00:09:32,472 Mmm-hmm. That's the way. 123 00:09:32,514 --> 00:09:35,017 Okay. So you're saying 124 00:09:35,059 --> 00:09:38,228 there's a town, a real town, not a metaphor town. 125 00:09:38,269 --> 00:09:39,730 Go on. It's okay. 126 00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,440 Okay. 127 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:44,651 Well, then, I'm going. 128 00:09:44,693 --> 00:09:46,695 I am leaving the road now! 129 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,741 I'm walking into the desert! 130 00:09:51,366 --> 00:09:52,784 Alone! 131 00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:54,828 We all have our journeys to make! 132 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,289 I will see you on the other side. 133 00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:59,977 Here in the Mojave Desert, 134 00:11:00,018 --> 00:11:02,520 animals have had millions of years 135 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:05,482 to adapt to the harsh environment. 136 00:11:05,523 --> 00:11:09,360 But the lizard? He is going to die. 137 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:12,322 "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers..." 138 00:11:12,363 --> 00:11:14,199 Don't move. What? 139 00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,707 Don't move! Not moving. 140 00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:23,875 Not moving. 141 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,794 Try to blend in. 142 00:11:25,836 --> 00:11:27,295 Blend in? What do you mean? 143 00:11:31,466 --> 00:11:32,592 Blend in. 144 00:11:32,634 --> 00:11:34,094 What are you saying? 145 00:11:36,221 --> 00:11:37,722 Too late. No, no. It's not too late! 146 00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:40,600 I'm blending! I'm a blender! 147 00:11:40,642 --> 00:11:42,227 Hey, calm down! What are you doing? 148 00:11:45,647 --> 00:11:47,607 Stop moving! 149 00:11:47,649 --> 00:11:48,900 Try not to look conspicuous. 150 00:11:58,493 --> 00:12:00,578 What are you doing? I'm blending. 151 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,122 Go blend somewhere else. Don't distract me. 152 00:12:02,164 --> 00:12:03,957 No room at the inn. It's an art, not a science. 153 00:12:03,999 --> 00:12:05,959 Find your own hiding place. No, this is good. 154 00:12:06,001 --> 00:12:08,920 Here she comes! You better run, Mojito! 155 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,421 What? I thought you said, "Don't move." 156 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,465 That was before. Now, you run. 157 00:13:00,305 --> 00:13:01,973 Oh, hey. Proboscis. 158 00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,183 Testy. 159 00:13:06,311 --> 00:13:07,812 Ow! 160 00:13:16,947 --> 00:13:19,157 Please, no, please. I have vertigo! 161 00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,951 My glands are swelling! 162 00:13:22,077 --> 00:13:23,077 Please, no. 163 00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:35,423 You! I'll kill you! You stupid lizard! 164 00:13:35,465 --> 00:13:37,550 Get out of there. I'm going to strangle your huevos! 165 00:13:37,592 --> 00:13:40,011 Big bird! Big bird! 166 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:42,931 No, wait! Come back! I was just kidding! 167 00:13:42,973 --> 00:13:44,891 Come on, we're friends, right? I don't know you! 168 00:13:44,933 --> 00:13:46,977 Lizards, frogs... Find your own hiding place! 169 00:13:47,018 --> 00:13:48,436 We're practically related! No room at the inn! 170 00:13:48,478 --> 00:13:49,938 Come on, move over! You're not my friend! 171 00:13:49,980 --> 00:13:51,481 I'll let you kiss my sister! 172 00:14:00,949 --> 00:14:02,575 You son of a... 173 00:14:57,839 --> 00:15:00,050 Where are your friends now, amigo? 174 00:15:29,454 --> 00:15:31,748 Get your slimy-webbed phalanges off my boots! 175 00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:34,542 Sorry. 176 00:15:34,584 --> 00:15:37,628 I got a bead on you, stranger. So you get up real slow 177 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,464 lessen you want to spend the better part of the afternoon 178 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:41,299 putting your face back together! 179 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:42,592 No, ma'am, I don't. 180 00:15:42,633 --> 00:15:43,718 Who are you? 181 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:44,886 Who am I? 182 00:15:44,928 --> 00:15:46,471 I'm asking the questions here! 183 00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,681 Our town is drying up. We're in the middle of a drought. 184 00:15:48,723 --> 00:15:50,600 Now someone's dumping water in the desert! 185 00:15:50,641 --> 00:15:52,936 It's a puzzle of undeterminable size and dimension, 186 00:15:52,977 --> 00:15:55,355 but I intend to find out what role you playing in all this. 187 00:15:55,397 --> 00:15:56,564 Role? 188 00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:58,775 What are you involved in? 189 00:15:58,816 --> 00:16:01,403 Well, I'm glad you asked. 190 00:16:01,445 --> 00:16:04,530 I've got two one-acts, a mystery and a musical I've been gestating. 191 00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:07,200 I got the words, I'm just working on the melody right now. It's like a... 192 00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,204 I think it's gonna be a western. 193 00:16:19,003 --> 00:16:21,256 You ain't from around here, are you? 194 00:16:22,924 --> 00:16:24,634 I'm still working on it. 195 00:16:26,428 --> 00:16:27,471 So, what's your name? 196 00:16:27,512 --> 00:16:28,930 Beans. 197 00:16:28,972 --> 00:16:30,515 That's a funny kind of name. 198 00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:33,518 What can I say? My daddy plumb loved baked beans. 199 00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,186 Well, you're lucky he didn't plumb love asparagus. 200 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,147 What are you saying? 201 00:16:37,188 --> 00:16:38,648 I mean, I enjoy a hearty puttanesca myself, 202 00:16:38,689 --> 00:16:41,025 but I'm not sure that a child would appreciate the moniker. 203 00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,111 My daddy was a great man, 204 00:16:43,153 --> 00:16:45,155 even if he did exhibit a proclivity for legumes. 205 00:16:45,196 --> 00:16:46,531 Spicy. 206 00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:47,949 You're eating his ashes! 207 00:16:47,991 --> 00:16:50,743 You carry his remains? 208 00:16:50,785 --> 00:16:54,289 No, his ashes. He loved to smoke. They never found the body. 209 00:16:54,331 --> 00:16:56,541 Well, I'm sure he had his reasons. 210 00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:58,251 What are you implying? Nothing. 211 00:16:58,293 --> 00:17:00,586 My daddy was never near that mine shaft. 212 00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:03,631 He'd been sober for over a month! And for you to insinuate 213 00:17:03,673 --> 00:17:05,425 that he would abandon his parental responsibilities 214 00:17:05,467 --> 00:17:07,177 at a delicate time in my personal development 215 00:17:07,218 --> 00:17:09,137 is an affront to my sense... 216 00:17:13,057 --> 00:17:14,267 Miss Beans? 217 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,020 Miss Beans? Hello? 218 00:17:18,896 --> 00:17:20,440 Hello? 219 00:17:37,374 --> 00:17:38,875 And until the people of Andromeda Five 220 00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:41,794 return him safe and sound, I will not sell my ranch! 221 00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,714 What... What are you doing? 222 00:17:44,755 --> 00:17:45,882 What are you doing? 223 00:17:45,923 --> 00:17:47,842 What am I doing? You're cuddling me. 224 00:17:47,884 --> 00:17:49,260 You were frozen. I was not. 225 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:50,387 Yes, you were. You stopped talking. 226 00:17:52,055 --> 00:17:53,348 It's a defense mechanism. 227 00:17:53,390 --> 00:17:55,016 Actually, lots of lizards have it. 228 00:17:55,058 --> 00:17:56,726 You're making that up. 229 00:17:56,767 --> 00:17:57,977 So, you gonna die out here, 230 00:17:58,019 --> 00:17:59,312 or you want a ride into town? 231 00:17:59,354 --> 00:18:00,480 No, no, no. Yeah. 232 00:18:00,522 --> 00:18:03,191 No. Yes, please. Thank you. Sorry. 233 00:18:03,233 --> 00:18:05,360 Today's Wednesday. Wednesday's when we all get to it. 234 00:18:07,778 --> 00:18:09,406 So who are you, really? 235 00:18:09,447 --> 00:18:11,199 Well, I'm a man of many epithets. 236 00:18:11,241 --> 00:18:13,618 There's my stage name, my pen name, my avatar. 237 00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:16,371 I had a pseudonym once, but I had it legally changed. 238 00:18:16,413 --> 00:18:20,458 And so the stranger, seeking companionship, 239 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:24,962 finds the woman, much like the sirens of ancient times 240 00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:29,884 luring him to his certain demise. 241 00:18:29,926 --> 00:18:31,386 nom de plume, I have a CB handle. 242 00:18:31,428 --> 00:18:33,054 I'm actually one of the few men with a maiden name. 243 00:18:33,096 --> 00:18:35,681 Whoa! Well, here we are. 244 00:18:40,770 --> 00:18:42,397 Oh. Oh... 245 00:18:43,273 --> 00:18:44,774 Right. 246 00:18:44,815 --> 00:18:47,110 Well, I sure do appreciate this, Miss Beans, 247 00:18:47,151 --> 00:18:48,137 and if there's ever anything that I... 248 00:18:48,152 --> 00:18:49,320 Get on up! 249 00:18:50,572 --> 00:18:51,906 Okay, then! 250 00:18:52,657 --> 00:18:54,075 See you, Beans. 251 00:19:11,134 --> 00:19:12,802 You heading out, Jim? 252 00:19:12,843 --> 00:19:15,472 Well, we gave it our best shot. We had to sell out. 253 00:19:15,513 --> 00:19:17,890 Can't grow no crops without no water. 254 00:19:19,684 --> 00:19:21,102 Bye, now! 255 00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:26,399 Ow! 256 00:19:26,441 --> 00:19:27,651 What is it? 257 00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,447 What was that for? 258 00:19:32,489 --> 00:19:34,449 You're funny looking. 259 00:19:34,491 --> 00:19:36,784 Oh, yeah? Well, you're funny looking, too. 260 00:19:36,826 --> 00:19:38,161 That's a funny-looking shirt. 261 00:19:38,202 --> 00:19:39,105 That's a funny-looking dress. 262 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,246 You got funny-looking eyes! 263 00:19:40,288 --> 00:19:41,456 You got a funny- looking face! 264 00:19:42,624 --> 00:19:44,459 You're a stranger. 265 00:19:44,501 --> 00:19:47,170 Strangers don't last long here. 266 00:19:47,211 --> 00:19:49,213 Here's your beans, Beans. 267 00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:51,549 I'm gonna need some more feed, too, Willie. 268 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:54,177 Now, Beans, you owe me three quarts already. 269 00:19:54,218 --> 00:19:55,428 I can't give you more credit. 270 00:19:55,470 --> 00:19:58,139 But I'll have what I owe you at noon. 271 00:19:58,181 --> 00:20:01,392 You don't understand. It's Mr. Merrimack down at the bank. 272 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:02,935 He cut off all credit. 273 00:20:02,977 --> 00:20:06,230 Hey, Beans! Beans! 274 00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:07,732 You know that there fella? 275 00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,066 Hey, Beans! Miss Beans! 276 00:20:10,067 --> 00:20:11,361 Nope. 277 00:20:11,402 --> 00:20:12,529 Hey, Beans! 278 00:20:12,570 --> 00:20:13,570 Hey. 279 00:20:15,657 --> 00:20:18,284 Right. Blend in. Yeah, blend in. 280 00:21:49,959 --> 00:21:51,461 I'd like a glass of water. 281 00:21:54,255 --> 00:21:55,757 He wants a glass of water! 282 00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:58,593 Make it a double! 283 00:21:58,635 --> 00:21:59,635 Give him the spittoon! 284 00:22:03,514 --> 00:22:06,309 Cactus juice. That's what we got. 285 00:22:31,041 --> 00:22:33,127 Hey, there, fruit cup. 286 00:22:33,169 --> 00:22:35,839 You're a long ways from home, ain't ya? 287 00:22:37,089 --> 00:22:39,133 Who exactly are you? 288 00:22:43,971 --> 00:22:44,971 Who am I? 289 00:22:46,641 --> 00:22:47,642 I could be anyone. 290 00:22:51,855 --> 00:22:53,523 What's the matter? 291 00:22:53,564 --> 00:22:55,900 You missing your mommy's mangos? 292 00:22:57,234 --> 00:22:58,986 As a matter of fact, I am. 293 00:23:00,780 --> 00:23:02,114 But not as much as your daddy's cooking! 294 00:23:03,867 --> 00:23:07,787 Exactly where did you say you were from? 295 00:23:07,829 --> 00:23:11,290 Me? I'm from the West. 296 00:23:11,332 --> 00:23:14,502 Out there, beyond the horizon. Past the sunset. 297 00:23:15,127 --> 00:23:16,838 The Far West. 298 00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:20,966 Yeah, that's right, hombres. 299 00:23:21,008 --> 00:23:23,761 The place I come from, we kill a man before breakfast 300 00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:25,471 just to work up an appetite. 301 00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:28,933 Then we salt him, and we pepper him. 302 00:23:28,974 --> 00:23:33,145 Then we braise him in clarified butter. And then we eat him. 303 00:23:33,187 --> 00:23:35,064 You eat him? That's what I said! 304 00:23:35,105 --> 00:23:36,649 Hell, I seen things 305 00:23:36,691 --> 00:23:39,485 make a grown man lose control of his glandular functions! 306 00:23:39,527 --> 00:23:40,945 You spend three days in a horse carcass, 307 00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:42,446 living off your own juices. 308 00:23:42,488 --> 00:23:45,032 It'll change a man. Oh, yeah. 309 00:23:48,118 --> 00:23:50,914 Had a few extra aces in this deck, gents. 310 00:23:50,955 --> 00:23:53,040 Just the way I like it. 311 00:23:53,082 --> 00:23:55,501 So, no, my hirsute little rodent friend, 312 00:23:55,543 --> 00:23:57,754 I am not from around these parts. 313 00:23:57,795 --> 00:24:00,214 You might say I'm from everywhere there's trouble brewing 314 00:24:00,256 --> 00:24:02,383 and hell waiting to be raised. 315 00:24:02,425 --> 00:24:05,261 You might say I'm what hell's already raised up. 316 00:24:07,096 --> 00:24:08,305 Name's 317 00:24:09,306 --> 00:24:10,558 Rango. 318 00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:13,227 Rango. 319 00:24:15,646 --> 00:24:17,356 Are you the fella that killed them Jenkins brothers? 320 00:24:17,398 --> 00:24:18,775 Uh-huh. 321 00:24:18,816 --> 00:24:21,151 Killed them with one bullet. 322 00:24:21,193 --> 00:24:23,070 Don't get no deader. 323 00:24:23,112 --> 00:24:24,697 All seven of them? 324 00:24:25,907 --> 00:24:27,450 That's right. 325 00:24:27,491 --> 00:24:29,744 All seven of them. 326 00:24:31,078 --> 00:24:33,664 Exactly how you do that, Mr. Rango? 327 00:24:36,834 --> 00:24:38,669 You know, I'm glad you asked me that. 328 00:24:38,711 --> 00:24:41,046 And I will be happy to tell you how. 329 00:24:41,088 --> 00:24:42,298 But you're all gonna have to listen up! 330 00:24:43,841 --> 00:24:45,676 Because this is where it gets 331 00:24:46,677 --> 00:24:48,345 complicated. 332 00:24:50,389 --> 00:24:52,266 That'll close out your account, Mrs. Oats, 333 00:24:52,308 --> 00:24:53,643 two gulps and a swig. 334 00:24:53,684 --> 00:24:55,227 Hands off, Mordecai! 335 00:24:55,269 --> 00:24:56,771 That's what's left of your college education! 336 00:24:59,189 --> 00:25:01,734 I don't rightly have no other choice, Beans. 337 00:25:01,776 --> 00:25:05,112 Times being so hard, we just can't give no more credit. 338 00:25:06,489 --> 00:25:07,740 But this here is a bank. 339 00:25:07,782 --> 00:25:09,033 This is where you keep the water. 340 00:25:12,411 --> 00:25:15,957 Beans, you've been like a niece to me ever since your daddy 341 00:25:18,334 --> 00:25:21,712 did not fall drunk down a mine shaft. 342 00:25:21,754 --> 00:25:26,216 I've tried to protect you and others from certain realities. 343 00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:27,927 But that... Well... 344 00:25:29,303 --> 00:25:30,513 Mr. Merrimack? Realities are bearing down. 345 00:25:30,554 --> 00:25:31,931 Mr. Merrimack! 346 00:25:32,849 --> 00:25:34,809 Are you all right? 347 00:25:34,851 --> 00:25:37,979 Beans, I need to show you something. 348 00:25:46,029 --> 00:25:47,905 That's all that's left? 349 00:25:47,947 --> 00:25:49,740 And this here is the reserve! 350 00:25:49,782 --> 00:25:52,451 I don't know if you've noticed, 351 00:25:52,493 --> 00:25:55,120 but folks just ain't making deposits on a Wednesday no more! 352 00:25:55,162 --> 00:25:58,457 Mr. Merrimack, if I don't get some water, I'm gonna lose my ranch 353 00:25:58,499 --> 00:26:01,044 and you're telling me that's all that's left in the whole town? 354 00:26:01,085 --> 00:26:04,505 Now that just don't make no sense. Now, listen. 355 00:26:04,547 --> 00:26:08,300 Someone is dumping water in the desert. 356 00:26:09,343 --> 00:26:11,595 I seen it with my own eyes. 357 00:26:13,430 --> 00:26:15,683 Water in the desert? 358 00:26:15,725 --> 00:26:18,268 Was this during one of your special times? 359 00:26:18,310 --> 00:26:19,979 No. 360 00:26:20,021 --> 00:26:21,731 Well, we can all dream, 361 00:26:21,772 --> 00:26:24,149 but this is the reality. 362 00:26:24,191 --> 00:26:26,485 Why do you think so many people are selling out? 363 00:26:26,527 --> 00:26:27,904 They just can't make it. 364 00:26:27,945 --> 00:26:30,865 Well, what am I supposed to do? 365 00:26:30,907 --> 00:26:33,534 Well, I suppose we could talk to the Mayor. 366 00:26:33,576 --> 00:26:36,453 I hear he's been helping people out in this time of crisis. 367 00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:38,205 The Mayor? 368 00:26:38,247 --> 00:26:41,458 He may be our only hope. 369 00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:43,753 Bullet hits a shovel, ricochets back towards number three, 370 00:26:43,794 --> 00:26:45,254 and that's when the roof caved in, 371 00:26:45,295 --> 00:26:47,381 igniting the thermos of pure grain alcohol 372 00:26:47,423 --> 00:26:49,466 instantly vaporizing his bodily form, 373 00:26:49,508 --> 00:26:51,468 leaving nothing but a charcoal statue 374 00:26:51,510 --> 00:26:53,303 and a high-pitched squeal. 375 00:26:57,558 --> 00:26:58,851 Oh! 376 00:26:59,309 --> 00:27:01,186 Hold on, there. 377 00:27:01,228 --> 00:27:02,980 That's only six. What happened to number seven? 378 00:27:04,607 --> 00:27:06,025 Number seven? 379 00:27:06,067 --> 00:27:07,944 Hell, he died of infection. 380 00:27:11,739 --> 00:27:13,490 Seven men! One bullet! 381 00:27:13,532 --> 00:27:15,284 Drinks all around! 382 00:27:18,454 --> 00:27:20,957 Dance for me, Sod Buster! 383 00:27:20,998 --> 00:27:22,917 Yes, dance like a chicken! That's right! Dance! 384 00:27:25,128 --> 00:27:27,171 You got corn in your ears, mate? 385 00:27:27,212 --> 00:27:30,215 You don't pay the mortgage, you don't own the land! 386 00:27:30,257 --> 00:27:32,217 That's basic real estate law, my friend. 387 00:27:32,259 --> 00:27:33,427 Quid pro quo! 388 00:27:33,469 --> 00:27:36,722 If I see your face in this town again, 389 00:27:36,764 --> 00:27:40,684 I'm gonna slice it off and use it to wipe my unmentionables. 390 00:27:41,435 --> 00:27:42,519 Mind the beak. 391 00:27:44,188 --> 00:27:45,898 And don't come back! 392 00:27:48,567 --> 00:27:49,819 What are you all gawping at? 393 00:27:54,782 --> 00:27:56,951 Hey, Bad Bill, there's something I got to tell you! 394 00:28:01,538 --> 00:28:04,083 Oy. What is this? 395 00:28:04,125 --> 00:28:08,378 You know who that is, Bill? That there's Rango! 396 00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:10,506 Yeah, he ain't afraid of you! 397 00:28:10,547 --> 00:28:12,049 He ain't afraid of none of you. 398 00:28:12,091 --> 00:28:13,843 Killed them Jenkins brothers. 399 00:28:13,884 --> 00:28:15,344 Done it with one bullet, Bill. 400 00:28:15,385 --> 00:28:16,595 All seven of them! 401 00:28:17,346 --> 00:28:18,722 Is that right? 402 00:28:57,053 --> 00:28:59,055 Let me get that before you... 403 00:29:03,684 --> 00:29:05,435 No. Oh, I know. Here. 404 00:29:09,690 --> 00:29:11,859 Just take care of that for you. 405 00:29:12,902 --> 00:29:14,653 There. All better. 406 00:29:36,759 --> 00:29:38,010 Whoa! Whoa. 407 00:29:39,386 --> 00:29:41,097 T.O. T.O. Just a second. 408 00:29:44,391 --> 00:29:45,893 All right, now listen! 409 00:29:45,935 --> 00:29:46,795 I'm going to give you fellas 410 00:29:46,810 --> 00:29:48,645 one last chance to reconsider! 411 00:29:53,483 --> 00:29:56,862 And if you don't want to reconsider 412 00:29:56,904 --> 00:29:59,448 I might consider reconsidering myself. 413 00:30:07,372 --> 00:30:08,749 Huh? 414 00:30:11,168 --> 00:30:14,046 Now that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. 415 00:30:14,838 --> 00:30:16,715 All right, now listen up! 416 00:30:16,757 --> 00:30:19,551 Things are going to be different around here now that Rango's in town. 417 00:30:19,593 --> 00:30:22,638 Got some new rules! I want my shoes shined every morning, 418 00:30:22,679 --> 00:30:24,556 my coffee hot, Danish on the side. 419 00:30:24,598 --> 00:30:27,184 Whatever you do, don't look me in the eye. 420 00:30:27,226 --> 00:30:29,561 Stay out of my peripheral vision! 421 00:30:29,603 --> 00:30:31,647 It's Rango. What's he up to? 422 00:30:31,688 --> 00:30:33,107 He ain't afraid of nobody. 423 00:30:33,149 --> 00:30:35,067 He's telling that bird what's for! 424 00:30:35,109 --> 00:30:37,153 And when you see me coming, stand aside. 425 00:30:37,194 --> 00:30:39,863 I take large steps and I don't want none of you hayseeds 426 00:30:39,905 --> 00:30:41,740 getting your bodily fluids on my boots! 427 00:30:44,368 --> 00:30:47,537 Of course, there is no need for violence, 428 00:30:47,579 --> 00:30:50,540 as long as we stick together, work as a team. 429 00:30:50,582 --> 00:30:54,044 So I want you all to come outside now and line up single file 430 00:30:54,086 --> 00:30:55,629 while I take a brief intermission! 431 00:30:58,632 --> 00:31:00,092 What's he doing now? 432 00:31:00,134 --> 00:31:01,468 I think it's a number two. 433 00:31:23,407 --> 00:31:25,534 Never mind. 434 00:31:46,180 --> 00:31:47,806 Take a look-see over here! 435 00:31:47,848 --> 00:31:49,266 Well, look at him now! 436 00:31:49,308 --> 00:31:51,268 He's chasing after that hawk! 437 00:31:51,310 --> 00:31:52,602 Give him hell, Rango! 438 00:32:39,524 --> 00:32:41,277 Oh, no! 439 00:33:45,590 --> 00:33:46,800 Did you see that? 440 00:33:46,842 --> 00:33:48,469 He killed that thing! 441 00:33:48,511 --> 00:33:49,719 What do you think, Doc? 442 00:33:50,804 --> 00:33:53,223 This hawk is dead! 443 00:33:54,433 --> 00:33:56,601 Shoot, I say we cook that right up. 444 00:33:56,643 --> 00:33:58,521 He did it with one bullet! 445 00:33:58,562 --> 00:34:00,397 Just like he said! 446 00:34:00,439 --> 00:34:02,065 It's about time we had a hero around here. 447 00:34:02,107 --> 00:34:03,775 One who ain't in a pine box. 448 00:34:05,319 --> 00:34:07,821 I think it's time he met the Mayor. 449 00:34:07,863 --> 00:34:10,991 You hear that, Rango? You're going to meet the Mayor! 450 00:34:11,033 --> 00:34:13,369 Let's hear it for Rango! 451 00:34:16,663 --> 00:34:18,957 And so the stranger basks 452 00:34:18,999 --> 00:34:22,545 in the adulation of his new friends, 453 00:34:22,586 --> 00:34:27,049 sinking deeper into the guacamole of his own deception. 454 00:34:28,050 --> 00:34:29,593 When is he going to die? 455 00:34:29,634 --> 00:34:31,512 Soon, compadre. Soon. 456 00:34:49,071 --> 00:34:50,239 My land is not for sale! 457 00:34:52,032 --> 00:34:54,577 I came here to save my land, not sell it! 458 00:34:54,618 --> 00:34:55,911 I'm sure there's something reasonable 459 00:34:55,952 --> 00:34:57,496 we can work out if you just talk to him! 460 00:34:59,415 --> 00:35:00,916 Beans! Where are you going? Beans? 461 00:35:01,958 --> 00:35:03,210 The Mayor will see you now. 462 00:35:09,091 --> 00:35:13,011 Water, Mr. Rango, water. 463 00:35:13,053 --> 00:35:16,181 Without it, there's nothing but dust and decay. 464 00:35:16,223 --> 00:35:20,352 But with water there's life. 465 00:35:22,896 --> 00:35:26,816 Look at them, so desperate to live, they'll follow it anywhere. 466 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,237 That's the immutable law of the desert. 467 00:35:32,364 --> 00:35:35,784 Control the water and you control everything. 468 00:35:36,993 --> 00:35:38,828 This is from my private stock. 469 00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:43,250 Vintage rainwater from the Great Deluge. 470 00:35:43,292 --> 00:35:46,545 Not Noah's deluge. Good heavens, I'm not that old. 471 00:35:49,298 --> 00:35:51,467 I guess power has its privileges. 472 00:35:52,342 --> 00:35:53,510 You make a good point, son. 473 00:35:54,970 --> 00:35:57,264 But with privilege comes responsibility. 474 00:35:58,723 --> 00:36:00,225 Uh... 475 00:36:00,267 --> 00:36:02,686 Hell, I was mayor here before there was a Dirt! 476 00:36:02,727 --> 00:36:05,814 And I may be just a sentimental old turtle 477 00:36:05,855 --> 00:36:09,025 but I think there's a future for this town. 478 00:36:09,067 --> 00:36:10,235 And I hope you'll be part of it. 479 00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:14,490 To Dirt! 480 00:36:14,531 --> 00:36:15,574 To Dirt. 481 00:36:18,743 --> 00:36:20,412 You see them, Mr. Rango? 482 00:36:20,454 --> 00:36:21,913 All my friends and neighbors? 483 00:36:23,457 --> 00:36:27,544 It's a hard life here. Very hard. 484 00:36:27,586 --> 00:36:30,046 Do you know how they make it through each and every day? 485 00:36:30,797 --> 00:36:31,840 They believe. 486 00:36:33,049 --> 00:36:35,969 They believe it's going to be better. 487 00:36:36,011 --> 00:36:39,431 They believe that the water will come. 488 00:36:39,473 --> 00:36:41,891 They believe against all odds and all evidence 489 00:36:41,933 --> 00:36:43,810 that tomorrow will be better than today. 490 00:36:46,313 --> 00:36:48,482 People have to believe in something. 491 00:36:49,733 --> 00:36:51,943 Right now, they believe in you. 492 00:36:55,030 --> 00:36:59,201 Pick it up, Mr. Rango. Your destiny awaits. 493 00:37:02,787 --> 00:37:05,666 People have to believe in something. 494 00:37:11,046 --> 00:37:12,464 It just don't make no sense. 495 00:37:12,506 --> 00:37:14,174 This whole town is drying up, 496 00:37:14,216 --> 00:37:16,968 and the Mayor is the only one who don't seem to be affected. 497 00:37:17,010 --> 00:37:18,970 Doesn't that make you just a wee bit suspicious? 498 00:37:19,012 --> 00:37:21,390 And what about that water I saw out in the desert? 499 00:37:21,431 --> 00:37:25,352 All right! No need to incite anxiety. 500 00:37:25,394 --> 00:37:27,062 I'll inquire about the Mayor. 501 00:37:27,103 --> 00:37:30,774 But if you really feel there's some conspiracy occurring, 502 00:37:30,815 --> 00:37:33,360 I suggest you take it up with the new sheriff. Mmm-hmm. 503 00:37:34,570 --> 00:37:36,238 This is going to be good. Hey! 504 00:37:36,279 --> 00:37:38,198 Watch that needle there. 505 00:37:38,240 --> 00:37:40,367 Not too tight. I want to leave room for some pucker! 506 00:37:40,409 --> 00:37:42,661 That's good. Oh, easy there, tiger. 507 00:37:42,703 --> 00:37:44,580 A little up and back? I don't think so. 508 00:37:44,621 --> 00:37:45,914 Have you got French cuffs with that? 509 00:37:45,955 --> 00:37:47,583 Excuse me, Sheriff Rango. I want to talk to you. 510 00:37:47,624 --> 00:37:49,084 Hey, Beans, what do you think of the new duds? 511 00:37:49,125 --> 00:37:50,960 I got a 10-gallon hat marked down from 15. 512 00:37:51,002 --> 00:37:52,588 That's nice. Have you met Angelique? 513 00:37:52,629 --> 00:37:54,506 Hello, Beans. Hello, Angelique. 514 00:37:54,548 --> 00:37:55,758 Tart. Floozy. 515 00:37:55,799 --> 00:37:57,718 Trollop. Excuse me, Mr. Rango. 516 00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,011 I will blow that ugly right off your face! 517 00:38:00,053 --> 00:38:01,930 I was just thinking that... 518 00:38:01,971 --> 00:38:04,683 Oh, you want the old John Hancock, do you? 519 00:38:04,725 --> 00:38:06,851 Well, here. Hold this. Sheriff Rango, this isn't a social call. 520 00:38:06,893 --> 00:38:08,144 There's a bullet in there. 521 00:38:08,186 --> 00:38:10,397 I know about the shindig this afternoon. 522 00:38:10,439 --> 00:38:12,482 I ordered myself some right fancy duds. Sheriff, I'd like to file a... 523 00:38:12,524 --> 00:38:14,443 Mr. Rango! Oh, you, too? No problem. 524 00:38:14,484 --> 00:38:16,445 Here, let me just... I need you to investigate... 525 00:38:16,486 --> 00:38:18,154 You know, Beans, I bet you clean up real nice, 526 00:38:18,196 --> 00:38:19,656 you put a little effort into it. What? 527 00:38:19,698 --> 00:38:21,575 Now, remember, son, stay in school, eat your veggies, 528 00:38:21,617 --> 00:38:22,951 burn everything but Shakespeare. 529 00:38:22,992 --> 00:38:25,120 Who's Shakespeare? Sheriff Rango, 530 00:38:25,161 --> 00:38:26,913 if that is your real name. 531 00:38:26,955 --> 00:38:29,499 I am trying to save my daddy's ranch, 532 00:38:29,541 --> 00:38:31,627 which is on the verge of an agricultural meltdown 533 00:38:31,668 --> 00:38:33,629 while you're playing patty-cake with this here trollop! 534 00:38:36,757 --> 00:38:39,509 Sad, really. Such a drab little thing. 535 00:38:40,594 --> 00:38:41,720 Why does she do that? 536 00:38:41,762 --> 00:38:43,555 It's a survival reflex. 537 00:38:43,597 --> 00:38:45,223 Her switch is just broken. 538 00:38:45,265 --> 00:38:46,558 Well, that's an inconvenience. 539 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,602 It is not a rash! It is a birthmark! 540 00:38:50,895 --> 00:38:52,522 I did it again, didn't I? 541 00:38:52,564 --> 00:38:53,649 Did what? 542 00:38:53,690 --> 00:38:55,900 Let me ask you something. 543 00:38:55,942 --> 00:38:58,695 Did anybody here mention what happened to our last sheriff? 544 00:39:39,361 --> 00:39:43,824 Pardon, but may I ask you... Excuse me, may I ask you... 545 00:39:43,866 --> 00:39:47,994 The last sheriff... Pardon me. Where is everybody going? 546 00:39:48,036 --> 00:39:50,246 What exactly happened to the... 547 00:40:27,659 --> 00:40:30,620 Oh! I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 548 00:40:41,631 --> 00:40:43,216 This is a heck of a hoedown you got going. 549 00:40:43,258 --> 00:40:45,176 Still working out those steps. 550 00:40:45,218 --> 00:40:48,054 So, is this considered normal civic behavior? 551 00:40:48,096 --> 00:40:49,222 Mmm-hmm. 552 00:40:49,264 --> 00:40:51,349 Every Wednesday, just like clockwork. 553 00:40:51,975 --> 00:40:53,351 You kill bird. 554 00:40:53,393 --> 00:40:56,438 Yeah. Matter of fact, I did. 555 00:40:56,479 --> 00:40:59,107 Bird dead. Snake come. 556 00:40:59,148 --> 00:41:00,275 Snake? 557 00:41:00,316 --> 00:41:02,026 He means Rattlesnake Jake, Mr. Rango. 558 00:41:02,068 --> 00:41:04,404 He never comes to town 'cause he's scared of that hawk. 559 00:41:04,446 --> 00:41:05,906 But he might come now. 560 00:41:05,948 --> 00:41:07,490 Can I have your boots when you're dead? 561 00:41:07,532 --> 00:41:08,867 No! 562 00:41:08,909 --> 00:41:10,953 And I ain't got no problem with this Rattlesnake Jake. 563 00:41:10,994 --> 00:41:12,662 That's just what Amos said. 564 00:41:13,204 --> 00:41:14,748 Amos? 565 00:41:18,293 --> 00:41:20,253 You got any gold fillings? 566 00:41:39,022 --> 00:41:41,942 My fellow Dirtonians. 567 00:41:41,984 --> 00:41:45,320 I welcome you to our great day of deliverance. 568 00:41:45,946 --> 00:41:47,196 Hallelujah. 569 00:41:47,238 --> 00:41:48,615 Hallelujah! 570 00:41:48,657 --> 00:41:51,701 Acolytes, prepare the holy spigot! 571 00:42:02,629 --> 00:42:06,090 We have a newcomer amongst us today, my friends. 572 00:42:06,132 --> 00:42:09,135 A man I think needs little introduction to you 573 00:42:09,177 --> 00:42:12,014 so bold has been his entry into our fair society. 574 00:42:13,306 --> 00:42:16,059 Mr. Rango, would you step forward? 575 00:42:21,940 --> 00:42:24,734 The time has come, my friends. 576 00:42:24,776 --> 00:42:26,444 The time that was foretold! 577 00:42:26,486 --> 00:42:28,196 Hallelujah! 578 00:42:28,237 --> 00:42:29,906 The sacred time! 579 00:42:29,948 --> 00:42:31,700 Hallelujah! 580 00:42:31,741 --> 00:42:34,202 The time of destiny! 581 00:42:34,243 --> 00:42:35,704 Hallelujah! 582 00:42:35,745 --> 00:42:37,706 The time of deliverance! 583 00:42:37,747 --> 00:42:39,624 Hallelujah! 584 00:42:39,666 --> 00:42:43,169 It is the time of hydration! 585 00:42:59,477 --> 00:43:01,771 It's his fault! It's the newcomer! 586 00:43:01,813 --> 00:43:03,439 Burn him! He's a witch! 587 00:43:03,481 --> 00:43:04,482 I get his boots! 588 00:43:04,524 --> 00:43:06,818 My friends, my friends! 589 00:43:06,860 --> 00:43:09,153 Temper your frustrations. 590 00:43:09,195 --> 00:43:11,656 Times will be tough from now on. 591 00:43:11,698 --> 00:43:14,367 Sacrifices will have to be made. 592 00:43:14,409 --> 00:43:16,619 But if I can help in any way, 593 00:43:16,661 --> 00:43:17,913 please know that my door is always... 594 00:43:17,954 --> 00:43:19,789 Hold it, hold it! 595 00:43:19,831 --> 00:43:22,709 Now, this whole thing stinks three ways to Sunday. 596 00:43:22,751 --> 00:43:24,920 First the bank's run dry and now this here spigot? 597 00:43:24,961 --> 00:43:26,129 The bank's run dry? 598 00:43:26,170 --> 00:43:27,296 What's she talking about? 599 00:43:27,338 --> 00:43:29,007 She said there's no water in the bank! 600 00:43:29,049 --> 00:43:30,258 Huh? 601 00:43:33,678 --> 00:43:37,682 This is all we have! We can't give it all out! 602 00:43:37,724 --> 00:43:39,142 That was my rehydration account! 603 00:43:41,269 --> 00:43:43,646 None of that civil disobedience in my town, 604 00:43:43,688 --> 00:43:45,982 thank you very much. 605 00:43:46,024 --> 00:43:47,609 Oh. Oh! 606 00:43:47,650 --> 00:43:49,111 Thank goodness you're here, Sheriff. 607 00:43:49,152 --> 00:43:50,904 Things were getting out of hand. 608 00:43:50,946 --> 00:43:52,948 Come right in. 609 00:43:52,989 --> 00:43:54,657 Let me have a gander at the source 610 00:43:54,699 --> 00:43:56,659 of the societal discontentment here. 611 00:43:58,327 --> 00:44:01,456 Mercy. 612 00:44:01,497 --> 00:44:04,208 All right, listen up! I've been thinking 613 00:44:04,250 --> 00:44:07,211 and I believe I've figured something out. 614 00:44:07,253 --> 00:44:09,255 You folks have a water problem! 615 00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:12,926 Now just pay attention, everybody. 616 00:44:12,968 --> 00:44:14,510 I'm trying to make a point here. 617 00:44:14,552 --> 00:44:17,139 Let's say this fella here were to take a drink of water. 618 00:44:17,180 --> 00:44:19,182 Just one little drink. No harm, no foul, right? 619 00:44:23,145 --> 00:44:24,479 And you! 620 00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:25,814 You're just as dried up 621 00:44:25,855 --> 00:44:27,816 and parched as a jackrabbit in July. 622 00:44:27,857 --> 00:44:29,818 So you belly on up and take you a double shot! 623 00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:32,988 Stay with me. 624 00:44:34,823 --> 00:44:36,950 What do you think happens then? 625 00:44:36,992 --> 00:44:38,118 Why we'd all be drinking! 626 00:44:39,077 --> 00:44:40,453 And before you know it, 627 00:44:40,495 --> 00:44:42,122 there wouldn't be any more water. 628 00:44:42,164 --> 00:44:44,040 And then where would we be? 629 00:44:45,374 --> 00:44:47,043 We'd be thirsty. 630 00:44:47,752 --> 00:44:49,921 Real thirsty. 631 00:44:49,963 --> 00:44:52,090 We'd turn on each other like a bunch of animals! 632 00:44:55,218 --> 00:44:59,848 Now look here. We have got six days of water. 633 00:45:04,393 --> 00:45:06,896 We have got five days... 634 00:45:08,857 --> 00:45:10,608 As long as we've got water, 635 00:45:10,650 --> 00:45:12,819 we've got ourselves a town. 636 00:45:13,862 --> 00:45:15,905 Sheriff Rango is right. 637 00:45:15,947 --> 00:45:19,659 As long as we have this water, we have some hope. 638 00:45:19,701 --> 00:45:21,410 And you can all take it from me. 639 00:45:21,452 --> 00:45:25,331 My 100% full-time employment from this moment on 640 00:45:25,373 --> 00:45:29,127 will be to protect our precious natural resource. 641 00:45:29,169 --> 00:45:32,505 Ain't no one gonna tango with the Rango. 642 00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:47,229 Evening, ladies. 643 00:45:47,270 --> 00:45:49,064 Evening, Sheriff. 644 00:45:49,105 --> 00:45:50,356 And don't you come back! 645 00:45:50,398 --> 00:45:52,650 Hold on there, Gordy. 646 00:45:52,692 --> 00:45:54,944 You get back in there and you assert yourself, 647 00:45:54,986 --> 00:45:56,779 and I think you'll find the people of this here town 648 00:45:56,821 --> 00:45:58,447 to be surprisingly hospitable. 649 00:45:58,489 --> 00:45:59,615 Thank you, Sheriff. 650 00:45:59,657 --> 00:46:00,700 What? Not you again! 651 00:46:03,078 --> 00:46:04,662 I stand corrected. 652 00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:12,170 This ain't the bank. 653 00:46:12,212 --> 00:46:13,462 I told you, Jedidiah! 654 00:46:13,504 --> 00:46:14,839 Hold it right there! 655 00:46:14,881 --> 00:46:16,132 Who's that? It's the Sheriff! 656 00:46:16,174 --> 00:46:17,717 Get them hands up where I can see them! 657 00:46:18,593 --> 00:46:20,303 Just as I suspected. 658 00:46:20,344 --> 00:46:22,847 Prospecting without the authorized equipment. 659 00:46:22,889 --> 00:46:24,015 Don't move a muscle. 660 00:46:24,057 --> 00:46:25,433 Prospecting? 661 00:46:30,146 --> 00:46:32,774 Now, you got your shovel, pickaxe, Benadryl, loofah, 662 00:46:32,815 --> 00:46:34,109 assorted snacks, some puzzle books 663 00:46:34,150 --> 00:46:36,236 and you're gonna need a permit. 664 00:46:36,278 --> 00:46:38,196 Loofah. Ezekiel, Jedidiah! 665 00:46:38,238 --> 00:46:40,364 What the Sam Hill's going on up there? 666 00:46:40,406 --> 00:46:43,201 I've had polyps removed smarter than the two of you! 667 00:46:44,786 --> 00:46:46,454 Hell's fire, this ain't the bank! 668 00:46:46,495 --> 00:46:50,292 Pappy, the Sheriff is standing right here, helping us out. 669 00:46:50,333 --> 00:46:53,044 Gonna give us a permit for prospecting. 670 00:46:53,086 --> 00:46:55,255 That's right, sir. Just doing my duty. 671 00:46:56,547 --> 00:46:58,633 The lonely constable on his rounds, 672 00:46:58,674 --> 00:47:01,510 keeping an eagle eye out for mayhem and malfeasance. 673 00:47:01,552 --> 00:47:02,804 Does he look like he sounds? 674 00:47:02,845 --> 00:47:05,014 Uh-huh. 675 00:47:05,056 --> 00:47:08,893 Well, Sheriff, if we was to hit the mother lode, 676 00:47:08,935 --> 00:47:10,770 being prospectors and such, 677 00:47:10,812 --> 00:47:14,107 where would we deposit said annuity? 678 00:47:14,149 --> 00:47:16,067 Here in the town of Dirt, we happen to have 679 00:47:16,109 --> 00:47:17,944 the finest financial institution 680 00:47:17,986 --> 00:47:19,070 this side of the Missouri. 681 00:47:20,947 --> 00:47:23,366 Protected morning, noon and night by yours truly. 682 00:47:25,327 --> 00:47:26,911 Much obliged. 683 00:47:28,330 --> 00:47:30,748 The bank's been robbed! The bank's been robbed! 684 00:47:30,790 --> 00:47:32,667 Good Lord, the bank's been robbed! 685 00:47:32,708 --> 00:47:34,377 What's going on? 686 00:47:34,460 --> 00:47:36,629 It's gone! The water's all gone! What'd he say? 687 00:47:36,671 --> 00:47:39,007 He said the bank's been robbed! 688 00:47:39,048 --> 00:47:41,050 Dr. Marx! I'm on fire! Embrace me! 689 00:47:52,603 --> 00:47:54,563 All right, folks, stand back, clear the area. 690 00:47:54,605 --> 00:47:56,191 This is a crime scene now. 691 00:47:56,232 --> 00:47:57,400 Secure the perimeter, dust for prints, 692 00:47:57,441 --> 00:47:58,985 check for fibers, scan for DNA. 693 00:47:59,027 --> 00:48:01,612 I want a urine sample from everyone. And get me a latte. 694 00:48:01,654 --> 00:48:03,156 And don't mix up the two. 695 00:48:03,198 --> 00:48:04,532 What's this? 696 00:48:04,573 --> 00:48:06,284 "Prospecting Permit." 697 00:48:06,326 --> 00:48:07,994 I'll take that. Material evidence. 698 00:48:08,036 --> 00:48:09,578 What are we gonna do now, Sheriff? 699 00:48:09,620 --> 00:48:10,788 We need that water. 700 00:48:10,830 --> 00:48:12,540 We're all going to die! 701 00:48:12,581 --> 00:48:16,336 My friends, we all know what we have to do now. 702 00:48:16,378 --> 00:48:18,963 That's right. We all know what we have to do now. 703 00:48:20,506 --> 00:48:22,175 And that would be? Form a posse. 704 00:48:22,217 --> 00:48:23,592 Form a possum! 705 00:48:26,262 --> 00:48:27,763 A posse. 706 00:48:29,432 --> 00:48:32,894 Now, we're gonna be doing this in an orderly fashion. 707 00:48:32,935 --> 00:48:35,021 First off, does anybody here 708 00:48:35,063 --> 00:48:37,648 know how to use a firearm of any kind? 709 00:48:40,609 --> 00:48:41,819 All right, then. 710 00:48:41,861 --> 00:48:43,738 What do we do now, Sheriff? 711 00:48:43,779 --> 00:48:45,990 Now we ride! 712 00:48:59,379 --> 00:49:01,672 Where are we going? 713 00:49:01,714 --> 00:49:03,132 What? 714 00:49:03,174 --> 00:49:04,842 Where are we going? 715 00:49:12,350 --> 00:49:14,436 Now, as my deputy, you'll be in charge 716 00:49:14,477 --> 00:49:16,104 of all tracking and finding of villains, 717 00:49:16,145 --> 00:49:19,315 utilizing your well-developed Injun-uity, no offense taken. 718 00:49:19,357 --> 00:49:20,608 So which way do you think they went? 719 00:49:20,649 --> 00:49:21,692 You want to sniff the air 720 00:49:21,734 --> 00:49:23,152 or commune with a buffalo or something? 721 00:49:26,822 --> 00:49:28,324 Oh, you're good. 722 00:49:31,494 --> 00:49:33,913 I'm depending on you, Spoons. 723 00:49:33,955 --> 00:49:35,873 You got a little tobaccy in the beard there. 724 00:49:35,915 --> 00:49:39,210 Always good to have a medical man along, Doc. 725 00:49:39,252 --> 00:49:41,587 Reptiles got to stick together, right, my brother? 726 00:49:41,629 --> 00:49:42,964 I'm an amphibian. 727 00:49:43,005 --> 00:49:44,215 Ain't no shame in that. 728 00:49:44,924 --> 00:49:46,050 Whoa! 729 00:49:48,136 --> 00:49:50,346 You sure you're fit for duty there, soldier? 730 00:49:52,181 --> 00:49:54,183 Well, you got a little something in your eye there. 731 00:49:54,434 --> 00:49:56,018 Oh, that? 732 00:49:56,060 --> 00:49:58,604 That there's conjunctivitis, sir. It's hereditary. 733 00:49:58,646 --> 00:50:01,774 Oh. Well, I'm glad to hear it's not contagious. 734 00:50:03,526 --> 00:50:04,860 Now, just wait a cotton-picking minute! 735 00:50:04,902 --> 00:50:06,404 A posse ain't no place for a... 736 00:50:07,655 --> 00:50:09,240 Never mind. 737 00:50:09,282 --> 00:50:11,367 Hold on there, little sister. 738 00:50:11,409 --> 00:50:13,702 Someone's gonna have to look after the town while I'm gone. 739 00:50:15,871 --> 00:50:16,998 Can I gut-shoot someone? 740 00:50:18,624 --> 00:50:21,169 Let's put a pin in that. 741 00:50:21,210 --> 00:50:23,796 Sheriff, you're going to bring that water back, aren't you? 742 00:50:25,047 --> 00:50:26,341 Count on it, little sister. 743 00:50:29,427 --> 00:50:30,719 Which way do we go, Sheriff? 744 00:50:30,761 --> 00:50:32,763 There's tunnels everywhere. 745 00:50:32,805 --> 00:50:34,640 Whole town's perforated with them. 746 00:50:34,682 --> 00:50:37,560 How'd them fellers find the bank, anyway? 747 00:50:37,601 --> 00:50:39,728 Gentlemen, if we can just stay on task here. 748 00:50:39,770 --> 00:50:41,981 Sheriff! Over here! 749 00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:46,986 Would you look at that? 750 00:50:47,028 --> 00:50:48,696 Like seeing the face of God. 751 00:50:48,737 --> 00:50:50,114 Amen, brother. 752 00:50:50,156 --> 00:50:53,159 I remember when it used to flow every Wednesday. 753 00:50:53,201 --> 00:50:55,328 Those were the halcyon days. 754 00:50:55,370 --> 00:50:57,788 Must be a reason she quit on us. 755 00:50:57,830 --> 00:51:01,709 Whatever the reason, something is controlling this here water. 756 00:51:01,750 --> 00:51:02,918 What do you say, Sheriff? 757 00:51:04,628 --> 00:51:07,590 Clearly, the robbers came from this direction. 758 00:51:07,631 --> 00:51:09,717 I say we track this pipe back to its hydraulic origin 759 00:51:09,758 --> 00:51:11,052 and apprehend the culprits 760 00:51:11,093 --> 00:51:12,428 behind this aquatic conundrum. 761 00:51:12,470 --> 00:51:13,637 What'd he say? 762 00:51:13,679 --> 00:51:14,805 I think he said follow the pipe. 763 00:51:14,847 --> 00:51:15,931 He said follow the pipe. 764 00:51:15,973 --> 00:51:17,392 He said follow the pipe. 765 00:51:28,736 --> 00:51:32,407 Whatever you do, do not look down. 766 00:51:33,491 --> 00:51:34,491 Whoa! 767 00:51:35,701 --> 00:51:37,119 What is this place? 768 00:51:37,161 --> 00:51:38,621 It's an aquifer. 769 00:51:38,662 --> 00:51:39,662 Oh. 770 00:51:40,706 --> 00:51:41,957 What's an aquifer? 771 00:51:41,999 --> 00:51:43,418 Well, it's for aqua. 772 00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:46,546 Well, it's empty now. 773 00:52:05,648 --> 00:52:07,358 That's a big one. 774 00:52:10,486 --> 00:52:13,489 It's the end of the line. Don't go no further. 775 00:52:13,531 --> 00:52:17,201 Someone or something is messing with our hydration 776 00:52:17,243 --> 00:52:19,161 and that pipe has got something to do with it. 777 00:52:19,203 --> 00:52:20,829 I thought we was following bank robbers! 778 00:52:20,871 --> 00:52:23,541 We're experiencing a paradigm shift. 779 00:52:23,583 --> 00:52:25,627 I'm gonna shift the features on your face if you don't shut up! 780 00:52:25,668 --> 00:52:27,044 Go ahead and try! 781 00:52:29,380 --> 00:52:31,132 Quiet, you savages! Stop your rattling. 782 00:52:31,173 --> 00:52:32,634 You're affecting my cogitation. 783 00:52:34,427 --> 00:52:37,179 Whoa! I got it. Snuff out them torches. 784 00:52:43,227 --> 00:52:44,895 Sure enough. 785 00:52:44,937 --> 00:52:46,939 Smart thinking there, feller. 786 00:52:46,981 --> 00:52:48,149 Start climbing. 787 00:52:48,190 --> 00:52:49,942 Get your foot out of my face! 788 00:52:49,984 --> 00:52:51,193 Not bad, huh, Beans? 789 00:52:51,235 --> 00:52:52,278 You keep thinking like that, 790 00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:53,613 your hat's gonna catch on fire. 791 00:52:53,655 --> 00:52:55,573 Well, you know, you get on a roll, you just... 792 00:52:55,615 --> 00:52:57,741 Hot, hot! Burn. 793 00:53:09,545 --> 00:53:11,339 Poor things. 794 00:53:11,380 --> 00:53:13,174 All they wanted was a little water. 795 00:53:13,215 --> 00:53:16,760 Cactus dying of thirst. It don't bode well. 796 00:53:16,802 --> 00:53:18,137 Hey, look what I found! What you got there? 797 00:53:18,179 --> 00:53:19,847 I saw that first! 798 00:53:19,888 --> 00:53:21,307 Hey, that's mine! 799 00:53:21,349 --> 00:53:22,684 Give me that! 800 00:53:23,434 --> 00:53:25,019 It's empty anyway. 801 00:53:25,060 --> 00:53:26,895 I knew that. 802 00:53:26,937 --> 00:53:28,147 Where'd you find that? 803 00:53:28,189 --> 00:53:30,858 Sheriff! You're going to want to see this! 804 00:53:34,696 --> 00:53:36,364 It's Mr. Merrimack from the bank. 805 00:53:36,405 --> 00:53:37,906 What's he doing here? 806 00:53:37,948 --> 00:53:39,742 Everybody stand back. All right, let me see. 807 00:53:39,783 --> 00:53:41,910 Looks like them varmints shot him in the back. 808 00:53:41,952 --> 00:53:45,956 No, this man wasn't shot. He was drowned! 809 00:53:45,998 --> 00:53:47,291 Drowned? 810 00:53:47,333 --> 00:53:48,834 In the middle of the desert? 811 00:53:48,876 --> 00:53:50,378 What a way to go. 812 00:53:52,714 --> 00:53:55,591 Well, now, whose boot prints are those? 813 00:54:00,388 --> 00:54:04,141 That's interesting. The ground's still wet. 814 00:54:04,183 --> 00:54:06,060 I suppose we should bury him. 815 00:54:06,101 --> 00:54:08,187 I don't know. Birds got to eat, too. 816 00:54:08,229 --> 00:54:09,397 Circle of life! 817 00:54:10,648 --> 00:54:13,067 Hey! What's that dad-gum Indian doing? 818 00:54:17,988 --> 00:54:20,282 I see you're consulting with the spirits. 819 00:54:20,324 --> 00:54:22,201 No, I'm molting. 820 00:54:22,243 --> 00:54:23,911 Means I'm ready to mate. 821 00:54:23,952 --> 00:54:25,371 Oh. 822 00:54:25,413 --> 00:54:26,622 I'll keep that in mind. 823 00:54:27,540 --> 00:54:28,791 Cactus fruit. 824 00:54:28,832 --> 00:54:31,586 Ah, yes. The ancient cactus fruit. 825 00:54:31,627 --> 00:54:33,379 I believe your people use it as seasoning 826 00:54:33,421 --> 00:54:35,089 when preparing your native dishes. 827 00:54:35,130 --> 00:54:36,758 Also natural laxative. 828 00:54:38,217 --> 00:54:39,719 Pick up trail. 829 00:54:39,761 --> 00:54:42,971 Three men heading west. One blind, one with 830 00:54:44,766 --> 00:54:47,059 enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle. 831 00:54:47,101 --> 00:54:48,310 What did he say? 832 00:54:48,352 --> 00:54:50,563 They're riding sidesaddle. 833 00:54:50,605 --> 00:54:52,064 We're whispering. What'd he say? 834 00:54:52,106 --> 00:54:53,566 Someone's got a bad valve. 835 00:54:53,608 --> 00:54:55,901 All right, which one of you fellers needs a check-up? 836 00:54:56,985 --> 00:54:58,195 Awkward. 837 00:54:58,696 --> 00:54:59,781 Uh... 838 00:54:59,822 --> 00:55:02,700 What exactly are we going to do now? 839 00:55:03,743 --> 00:55:05,578 Now we ride! 840 00:55:10,874 --> 00:55:14,629 That means we're riding now! This moment. 841 00:55:57,713 --> 00:56:00,215 Marshmallows remind me of going camping with my daddy. 842 00:56:00,257 --> 00:56:01,801 I could eat them all night long. 843 00:56:04,386 --> 00:56:06,597 Of course he did make me cough them back up again for breakfast. 844 00:56:09,391 --> 00:56:12,520 This one time, I coughed up an entire Dalmatian. 845 00:56:12,561 --> 00:56:15,690 That ain't nothing. I coughed up a whole tribe of pygmies. 846 00:56:17,149 --> 00:56:19,067 They started looking at me weird. 847 00:56:19,109 --> 00:56:22,321 I remember them. They was quite friendly. 848 00:56:22,363 --> 00:56:25,700 I found a human spinal column in my fecal matter once. 849 00:56:29,328 --> 00:56:31,205 You might want to get that looked at. 850 00:56:33,165 --> 00:56:35,000 Pass the beans, Beans. 851 00:56:35,042 --> 00:56:36,919 Sheriff? No, thanks. 852 00:56:37,002 --> 00:56:40,756 Mr. Rango? Can you tell us about the Spirit of the West? 853 00:56:42,257 --> 00:56:43,718 Yeah, tell us about that. 854 00:56:43,759 --> 00:56:45,219 Is it true what they say? 855 00:56:45,260 --> 00:56:48,096 Yes, the Spirit of the West! 856 00:56:49,431 --> 00:56:51,975 The eternally unattainable ideal. 857 00:56:52,017 --> 00:56:54,687 They say he rides in an alabaster carriage 858 00:56:54,729 --> 00:56:57,606 with golden guardians to protect him. 859 00:56:57,648 --> 00:57:00,150 But he only appears to those who have undertaken an epic quest! 860 00:57:00,860 --> 00:57:02,319 And have made it 861 00:57:02,361 --> 00:57:03,946 to the other side. 862 00:57:09,034 --> 00:57:10,619 The other side of what? 863 00:57:10,661 --> 00:57:12,287 It's a metaphor. 864 00:57:12,329 --> 00:57:13,497 Ow! My eye! 865 00:57:13,539 --> 00:57:15,290 That's gonna heal right up. 866 00:57:15,332 --> 00:57:19,127 Sheriff? What are you going to do about Rattlesnake Jake? 867 00:57:19,169 --> 00:57:20,504 What? Where? 868 00:57:22,631 --> 00:57:26,343 Sorry about that. Word is you come against him once or twice. 869 00:57:26,385 --> 00:57:28,930 Yeah. 870 00:57:28,971 --> 00:57:30,806 Jake. You mean my brother. 871 00:57:30,848 --> 00:57:33,684 Your brother? That's what I said! 872 00:57:33,726 --> 00:57:36,729 But he's a snake and you're a lizard. 873 00:57:36,771 --> 00:57:38,731 Well, Momma had an active social life. 874 00:57:40,441 --> 00:57:42,109 Did he ever bite you? 875 00:57:42,150 --> 00:57:44,236 Sure enough did. Look at that baby. 876 00:57:44,278 --> 00:57:45,180 Go ahead, you can touch it. 877 00:57:45,195 --> 00:57:46,697 That's interesting. 878 00:57:47,698 --> 00:57:49,408 That there's a belly button. 879 00:57:49,450 --> 00:57:51,076 Luckily, I'm immune to his venom. 880 00:57:51,118 --> 00:57:52,995 Put some in my coffee just to give it a little tang. 881 00:57:53,036 --> 00:57:55,122 Is it true he's only scared of them hawks? 882 00:57:55,163 --> 00:57:58,375 Them's what we call his natural predator. 883 00:58:00,502 --> 00:58:03,380 All this talk of that serpentine devil is putting my quills on edge! 884 00:58:03,422 --> 00:58:05,758 I ain't sleeping tonight. No, sir. 885 00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:06,884 Don't you all worry about a thing. 886 00:58:06,926 --> 00:58:08,844 Come tomorrow, we'll locate that water 887 00:58:08,886 --> 00:58:10,763 and return to a hero's welcome. 888 00:58:12,139 --> 00:58:14,809 Friends, before we bunk down 889 00:58:14,850 --> 00:58:17,269 I'd like us all to join hands for a moment, 890 00:58:17,311 --> 00:58:19,897 say a few words to the Spirit of the West. 891 00:58:19,939 --> 00:58:21,732 That's a good idea. 892 00:58:24,234 --> 00:58:27,446 Ain't always spoken rightly to you, Spirit of the West. 893 00:58:27,488 --> 00:58:29,782 But tonight I want to thank you 894 00:58:29,824 --> 00:58:32,827 for bringing Sheriff Rango into our lives. 895 00:58:33,786 --> 00:58:35,704 It's a hard life we got. 896 00:58:35,746 --> 00:58:39,207 Sometimes I don't know how we're gonna make it. 897 00:58:39,249 --> 00:58:42,210 But somehow, Sheriff Rango makes me think we will. 898 00:58:43,629 --> 00:58:45,631 We needed a brave man and you sent us one. 899 00:58:47,466 --> 00:58:49,343 Nice to have someone to believe in again. 900 00:58:50,845 --> 00:58:54,222 Thank you, Spirit of the West. Amen. 901 00:58:55,223 --> 00:58:56,684 Amen. Amen. 902 00:59:28,799 --> 00:59:30,342 Just checking. 903 00:59:33,178 --> 00:59:34,513 It's a little cold tonight. 904 00:59:34,555 --> 00:59:35,723 Thank you. 905 00:59:38,684 --> 00:59:41,520 You ever feel like those things are looking at you? 906 00:59:41,562 --> 00:59:43,313 That's a Spanish dagger. 907 00:59:43,355 --> 00:59:45,941 But around here, we just call them the Walking Cactus. 908 00:59:45,983 --> 00:59:47,401 Walking? 909 00:59:47,442 --> 00:59:49,236 There's an old legend they actually walk 910 00:59:49,277 --> 00:59:51,446 across the desert to find water. 911 00:59:51,488 --> 00:59:52,948 When I was a little girl, 912 00:59:52,990 --> 00:59:55,367 I'd stay up late watching them, to see if they'd move. 913 00:59:55,409 --> 00:59:56,869 I thought if I could follow them, 914 00:59:56,911 --> 00:59:59,204 they'd lead me to someplace wonderful. 915 00:59:59,246 --> 01:00:02,416 Someplace with enough water for everyone. 916 01:00:03,918 --> 01:00:05,836 Night after night, I watched them. 917 01:00:06,879 --> 01:00:09,464 I never saw them move. 918 01:00:09,506 --> 01:00:10,966 But you're still watching. 919 01:00:11,008 --> 01:00:14,469 Who doesn't want to find someplace wonderful? 920 01:00:14,511 --> 01:00:16,847 We'll find the water, Beans. I promise you. 921 01:00:20,768 --> 01:00:22,644 That's such a lonely sound. 922 01:00:24,063 --> 01:00:25,814 You ever get lonely? 923 01:00:25,856 --> 01:00:27,399 Sometimes. 924 01:00:27,441 --> 01:00:29,151 I can't imagine it. 925 01:00:29,192 --> 01:00:32,654 You're such a charmer and everyone likes you so much. 926 01:00:32,696 --> 01:00:35,116 I never made friends easy like that. 927 01:00:35,157 --> 01:00:36,533 No? 928 01:00:36,575 --> 01:00:38,869 No, we're pretty isolated out there on the ranch, 929 01:00:38,911 --> 01:00:41,663 sort of like being sealed up in a little box. 930 01:00:41,705 --> 01:00:45,208 Don't really see a lot of folks. 931 01:00:45,250 --> 01:00:46,877 I wouldn't know what that's like. 932 01:00:48,420 --> 01:00:51,006 There someone special in your life, Rango? 933 01:00:51,048 --> 01:00:54,509 Oh, there used to be. But she couldn't keep her head. 934 01:00:54,551 --> 01:00:56,637 Besides, my life's too dangerous for that kind of thing. 935 01:00:56,678 --> 01:00:58,388 You know, it's an awful solitary existence 936 01:00:58,430 --> 01:00:59,932 out there on the prairie. 937 01:00:59,974 --> 01:01:01,642 Riding the ranges and the suchlike. 938 01:01:03,477 --> 01:01:04,686 Beans? 939 01:01:06,147 --> 01:01:07,355 Beans? 940 01:01:25,499 --> 01:01:27,668 I'm gonna skin you alive, boy! 941 01:01:27,709 --> 01:01:29,336 I'm gonna whup you like a red-headed stepchild! 942 01:01:29,377 --> 01:01:30,545 Choleric varmints, ain't they? 943 01:01:30,587 --> 01:01:32,923 Dysfunctional family. Need intervention. 944 01:01:34,508 --> 01:01:36,177 What's that coming? 945 01:01:37,970 --> 01:01:39,304 It's the water. 946 01:01:41,515 --> 01:01:43,100 I have a plan, 947 01:01:43,142 --> 01:01:45,435 and each and every one of you has a part to play. 948 01:01:45,477 --> 01:01:47,188 What do I do? 949 01:01:47,229 --> 01:01:49,064 Spoons, you got the most important job of all. 950 01:01:49,106 --> 01:01:51,233 You stay up here on the ridge, and if anything goes wrong, 951 01:01:51,274 --> 01:01:53,485 you give the signal. 952 01:02:05,664 --> 01:02:07,582 Hey, Beans. What size dress you wearing? 953 01:02:08,542 --> 01:02:10,919 He got it! Hallelujah! 954 01:02:10,961 --> 01:02:12,838 He found the water! You did it, son. 955 01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:14,131 Well, actually... 956 01:02:14,173 --> 01:02:16,341 Why can't you be all brainy like your brother? 957 01:02:16,383 --> 01:02:19,344 Pappy, about that water. There's something I gots to tell you. 958 01:02:19,386 --> 01:02:21,263 Hush up, now. Somebody's coming. 959 01:02:23,724 --> 01:02:25,767 Good sirs, gracious good afternoon 960 01:02:25,809 --> 01:02:27,269 to thee and thee and thee. 961 01:02:27,310 --> 01:02:29,730 May I present Madame Lupone's 962 01:02:29,771 --> 01:02:32,149 Terpsichorean Troupe of Traveling Thespians! 963 01:02:33,358 --> 01:02:34,568 What is that? 964 01:02:34,609 --> 01:02:36,028 I think they's thespians. 965 01:02:36,070 --> 01:02:37,196 Thespians? 966 01:02:37,238 --> 01:02:39,447 That's illegal in seven states! 967 01:02:39,489 --> 01:02:43,326 The stage is set. The princess prepares to take her own life. 968 01:02:43,368 --> 01:02:44,995 I yearn for love. 969 01:02:45,037 --> 01:02:47,956 Meanwhile, the lone sentry stands watch at the castle gate. 970 01:02:48,790 --> 01:02:51,126 Hark! Who goes there? 971 01:02:51,168 --> 01:02:52,753 This plot is highly predictable. 972 01:02:52,794 --> 01:02:54,379 Quiet! This is my favorite part. 973 01:02:54,421 --> 01:02:56,673 Arriving to great fanfare 'twas her aged father, 974 01:03:00,719 --> 01:03:02,345 strucketh by Cupid. 975 01:03:03,638 --> 01:03:06,808 Prithee, unhand my fair daughter 976 01:03:06,850 --> 01:03:08,560 and reach for the... 977 01:03:10,062 --> 01:03:11,230 Line? 978 01:03:11,272 --> 01:03:12,689 "Reach for the sky!" 979 01:03:15,483 --> 01:03:16,818 What was that? 980 01:03:16,860 --> 01:03:19,113 Must be that immersive theater. 981 01:03:19,154 --> 01:03:20,405 We got you surrounded! 982 01:03:20,447 --> 01:03:21,990 You and your entire family 983 01:03:22,032 --> 01:03:23,700 get your hands up where I can see them. 984 01:03:23,742 --> 01:03:26,453 My entire family? 985 01:03:50,018 --> 01:03:52,062 It's a full house. 986 01:03:53,355 --> 01:03:54,606 Looks like we're gonna have ourselves 987 01:03:54,648 --> 01:03:56,775 a good old-fashioned standoff. 988 01:03:56,817 --> 01:04:00,862 I'll have you know, you're not looking at our entire contingent. 989 01:04:08,829 --> 01:04:10,497 What's that supposed to be? 990 01:04:10,538 --> 01:04:11,873 That's the signal. 991 01:04:11,915 --> 01:04:13,708 That's the signal! 992 01:04:13,750 --> 01:04:15,502 Something must have gone wrong! 993 01:04:19,422 --> 01:04:22,550 So something's supposed to happen? 994 01:04:23,551 --> 01:04:26,888 I am open to suggestions. 995 01:04:34,729 --> 01:04:35,981 Run! 996 01:04:42,570 --> 01:04:44,156 Get on the wagon! 997 01:04:50,287 --> 01:04:52,289 Should we have ourselves some sport, chill'ens? 998 01:04:53,248 --> 01:04:55,542 I likes it when they run. 999 01:04:55,583 --> 01:04:58,461 Maybelle, give the holler! 1000 01:05:04,885 --> 01:05:06,553 Looks like we made it! 1001 01:05:06,594 --> 01:05:08,263 That audience was quite responsive. 1002 01:05:08,305 --> 01:05:10,515 Yeah, well, I think that chromosome pool is about dried up. 1003 01:05:38,626 --> 01:05:39,627 We got bats! 1004 01:05:40,670 --> 01:05:42,047 Here! You drive. 1005 01:05:50,513 --> 01:05:52,766 Looks like there's gonna be soup tonight! 1006 01:05:52,807 --> 01:05:54,559 Come on, let's get some! 1007 01:06:04,986 --> 01:06:08,198 What in tarnation? Don't shoot the water! 1008 01:06:08,240 --> 01:06:11,493 Jedidiah! It's time for the Alabama squeeze box! 1009 01:06:11,534 --> 01:06:12,619 Okay, Pa! 1010 01:06:20,127 --> 01:06:21,878 I am sensing hostility. 1011 01:06:21,920 --> 01:06:23,171 Incoming! 1012 01:06:28,927 --> 01:06:30,137 Hello! 1013 01:06:30,178 --> 01:06:31,263 Goodbye! 1014 01:06:41,398 --> 01:06:43,358 Lasso that swine! 1015 01:06:48,863 --> 01:06:50,073 Huh? 1016 01:07:04,296 --> 01:07:06,131 I suggest we take evasive action! 1017 01:07:06,173 --> 01:07:07,966 I suggest you shut up and shoot! 1018 01:07:08,008 --> 01:07:09,050 What happened to the Sheriff? 1019 01:07:09,092 --> 01:07:10,593 He had a previous engagement! 1020 01:07:10,635 --> 01:07:13,138 Boseefus, give them some gumbo now! 1021 01:07:20,228 --> 01:07:22,230 What was that? Go check it out! 1022 01:07:24,149 --> 01:07:25,692 What is it? Is there a problem? 1023 01:07:27,819 --> 01:07:29,404 You could call it that. 1024 01:07:40,541 --> 01:07:41,542 Whee! 1025 01:07:48,549 --> 01:07:49,632 Huh? 1026 01:08:08,569 --> 01:08:09,569 Huh? 1027 01:08:17,744 --> 01:08:19,079 Headache. 1028 01:08:21,415 --> 01:08:23,124 Is that all you got? 1029 01:08:41,684 --> 01:08:43,604 That wasn't altogether unpleasant! 1030 01:08:45,439 --> 01:08:46,689 Eat lead! 1031 01:08:57,242 --> 01:08:59,035 Here, hold these. 1032 01:09:09,170 --> 01:09:11,089 Get your hands off me! 1033 01:09:14,635 --> 01:09:15,760 Ow! 1034 01:09:15,802 --> 01:09:17,304 Oh, I'm sorry. 1035 01:09:20,682 --> 01:09:22,016 Whoa! 1036 01:09:26,605 --> 01:09:27,897 Jump! 1037 01:09:50,878 --> 01:09:53,131 It's impossible. 1038 01:09:53,173 --> 01:09:55,467 It can't be. It's empty. 1039 01:09:55,967 --> 01:09:57,760 There's no water! 1040 01:09:57,802 --> 01:10:01,473 No water? Then what the hell we been fighting for? 1041 01:10:01,515 --> 01:10:03,558 Sir, you have defiled and desecrated 1042 01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:05,644 the very sustenance of our livelihood! 1043 01:10:05,686 --> 01:10:08,647 I think that there fella in the purty dress is the Sheriff. 1044 01:10:08,689 --> 01:10:10,898 That's the same fellow what give us a prospecting permit? 1045 01:10:10,940 --> 01:10:12,275 A what? 1046 01:10:12,317 --> 01:10:13,985 Irrelevant! Obfuscation. 1047 01:10:14,027 --> 01:10:16,112 You and your kin are under arrest for bank robbery 1048 01:10:16,154 --> 01:10:17,905 and the murder of our beloved financial advisor 1049 01:10:17,947 --> 01:10:21,702 Johannes Merrimack the Third, AKA, Fluffy Joe. 1050 01:10:21,743 --> 01:10:23,537 Sheriff, we didn't kill nobody. 1051 01:10:23,578 --> 01:10:25,830 We done tunneled into that vault, but there weren't nothing in it. 1052 01:10:25,872 --> 01:10:27,999 Somebody done robbed that bank before we robbed it. 1053 01:10:28,041 --> 01:10:29,792 Then where'd you get this here jug? 1054 01:10:29,834 --> 01:10:31,878 That's what I been trying to tell you, Pappy. 1055 01:10:31,919 --> 01:10:33,338 I found it in the desert. 1056 01:10:33,380 --> 01:10:35,882 Then why in tarnation did you bring it here? 1057 01:10:35,923 --> 01:10:40,261 Hold on! You're saying this here jug was empty when you found it? 1058 01:10:40,303 --> 01:10:41,804 Uh-huh. That's right. 1059 01:10:41,846 --> 01:10:43,264 I don't believe a word of it. 1060 01:10:43,306 --> 01:10:44,807 Let's hang them, Sheriff! String them up! 1061 01:10:44,849 --> 01:10:47,018 Who'd dump water in the desert? 1062 01:10:47,060 --> 01:10:48,978 Wouldn't be the first time. 1063 01:10:49,020 --> 01:10:52,065 It's a puzzle! It's like a big old mammogram! 1064 01:10:52,106 --> 01:10:54,025 What's going on, Sheriff? 1065 01:10:54,067 --> 01:10:55,360 I don't know. 1066 01:10:55,402 --> 01:10:56,819 But I'm going to strip away this mystery 1067 01:10:56,861 --> 01:10:59,364 and expose its private parts. 1068 01:10:59,406 --> 01:11:01,074 You and your kin are coming with me. 1069 01:11:06,162 --> 01:11:07,955 They're coming! 1070 01:11:07,997 --> 01:11:08,998 Here they come! 1071 01:11:10,709 --> 01:11:12,001 Looks like they got them robbers. 1072 01:11:35,483 --> 01:11:36,651 Where's the water? 1073 01:11:40,029 --> 01:11:41,906 There weren't no water. 1074 01:11:55,962 --> 01:11:57,464 Where is he going? 1075 01:11:58,465 --> 01:12:00,550 He's going to see the Mayor. 1076 01:12:03,595 --> 01:12:05,221 He's got to be pleased with that. 1077 01:12:05,263 --> 01:12:06,889 That's a good one, boss! 1078 01:12:17,191 --> 01:12:18,318 That's interesting. 1079 01:12:18,359 --> 01:12:21,279 I do apologize for the shoes, Mr. Rango, 1080 01:12:21,321 --> 01:12:24,532 but there's a certain protocol to this game, you understand. 1081 01:12:24,574 --> 01:12:27,368 I'm a bit of a stickler for protocol. 1082 01:12:27,410 --> 01:12:30,079 Well, that's good, 'cause you got a few questions to answer 1083 01:12:30,121 --> 01:12:31,164 and I've got my own protocol. 1084 01:12:36,586 --> 01:12:39,422 But why would anyone dump water in the blooming desert? 1085 01:12:39,464 --> 01:12:43,468 It does seem a bit naive, taking the word of admitted bank robbers. 1086 01:12:43,510 --> 01:12:47,221 Besides, once they hang, your job is done. 1087 01:12:47,263 --> 01:12:49,140 Bravo! Job well done. 1088 01:12:49,182 --> 01:12:51,726 But what if somebody did rob the bank before they got there? 1089 01:12:51,768 --> 01:12:54,354 And who would do that, Mr. Rango? 1090 01:12:54,395 --> 01:12:56,731 I was hoping you could tell me. 1091 01:12:56,773 --> 01:12:59,567 That sounds marginally near to an accusation. 1092 01:12:59,609 --> 01:13:01,361 Take it any way you like. 1093 01:13:01,402 --> 01:13:02,445 Ow! 1094 01:13:06,991 --> 01:13:08,159 Something you said 1095 01:13:08,201 --> 01:13:10,745 keeps rattling around in my frontal lobe. 1096 01:13:10,787 --> 01:13:12,664 What's that? 1097 01:13:12,706 --> 01:13:16,250 "Control the water and you control everything." 1098 01:13:16,292 --> 01:13:19,045 Come now, Mr. Rango. 1099 01:13:19,086 --> 01:13:22,006 You attribute divine power to me. 1100 01:13:22,048 --> 01:13:24,634 How on earth could I possibly control the water? 1101 01:13:27,721 --> 01:13:31,182 You've obviously mastered this game. 1102 01:13:31,224 --> 01:13:34,728 Well, I've been playing it for many years, sir. 1103 01:13:34,769 --> 01:13:37,689 I was here before the highway split this great valley. 1104 01:13:37,731 --> 01:13:40,525 I watched the march of progress, 1105 01:13:40,567 --> 01:13:43,486 and I learned a thing or two. 1106 01:13:43,528 --> 01:13:46,740 Perhaps it's time you started to take the long view, 1107 01:13:46,781 --> 01:13:49,826 begin to appreciate the broad sweep of history. 1108 01:13:51,327 --> 01:13:53,705 Look out there, son. 1109 01:13:53,747 --> 01:13:55,623 You can almost see time passing. 1110 01:13:59,544 --> 01:14:01,254 What are you building out here? 1111 01:14:01,295 --> 01:14:04,925 The future, Mr. Rango, the future. 1112 01:14:04,966 --> 01:14:08,845 One day soon, all this is going to fade into myth, 1113 01:14:08,887 --> 01:14:11,681 the frontier town, the lawman, the gunslinger. 1114 01:14:11,723 --> 01:14:13,892 There's just no place for them anymore. 1115 01:14:13,934 --> 01:14:15,351 We're civilized now. 1116 01:14:15,393 --> 01:14:18,145 That's right, civilized. 1117 01:14:18,187 --> 01:14:19,773 That's what the future holds. 1118 01:14:19,814 --> 01:14:21,566 You can either be part of it, 1119 01:14:21,608 --> 01:14:23,818 or you can be left behind. 1120 01:14:23,860 --> 01:14:26,112 Is that what happened to Mr. Merrimack? 1121 01:14:26,153 --> 01:14:27,363 Did he get left behind? 1122 01:14:27,405 --> 01:14:29,407 Careful, Mr. Rango. 1123 01:14:29,449 --> 01:14:32,869 You seem to forget you're just one little lizard. 1124 01:14:32,911 --> 01:14:35,997 You seem to forget I'm the law around these parts. 1125 01:14:39,375 --> 01:14:42,169 Our new sheriff has been playing the hero for so long, 1126 01:14:42,211 --> 01:14:43,797 he's actually starting to believe it. 1127 01:14:45,131 --> 01:14:47,425 Call in Rattlesnake Jake. 1128 01:14:47,467 --> 01:14:50,219 But Jake's the Grim Reaper. 1129 01:14:50,261 --> 01:14:52,513 He never leaves without taking a blooming soul. 1130 01:14:52,555 --> 01:14:53,807 Do it! 1131 01:15:08,488 --> 01:15:09,906 Now be still. 1132 01:15:09,948 --> 01:15:12,700 You gotta look presentable to meet your maker. 1133 01:15:34,639 --> 01:15:37,642 The Mayor has bought up all the land in the valley, 1134 01:15:37,684 --> 01:15:39,769 except for your ranch, Miss Beans. 1135 01:15:39,811 --> 01:15:41,479 That just don't make no sense. 1136 01:15:41,521 --> 01:15:43,523 Without water, that land is useless. 1137 01:15:43,564 --> 01:15:46,442 Unless he controls the water. 1138 01:15:46,484 --> 01:15:48,486 Like a monkey's bladder! 1139 01:15:48,528 --> 01:15:50,864 Then he could bring it back once he's bought up all the land. 1140 01:15:50,905 --> 01:15:52,699 But how does he control the water? 1141 01:15:53,825 --> 01:15:55,535 Sheriff, we got a problem. 1142 01:16:02,667 --> 01:16:05,586 Hold on, Beans. That won't be necessary. 1143 01:16:09,298 --> 01:16:11,384 Hang him till his head turns blue! 1144 01:16:11,425 --> 01:16:12,719 Give us them robbers! 1145 01:16:12,760 --> 01:16:15,013 Hold on! Calm down, everyone! Let me talk! 1146 01:16:15,055 --> 01:16:17,724 Nail them to the courthouse! Now, calm down. 1147 01:16:17,765 --> 01:16:19,934 Get them out here so we can cut off their giblets! 1148 01:16:21,061 --> 01:16:22,854 You, too, Spoons? 1149 01:16:22,896 --> 01:16:26,148 They done taken that water. They taken everything we got! 1150 01:16:26,190 --> 01:16:29,027 No one's stringing anyone up. Not while I'm sheriff. 1151 01:16:29,069 --> 01:16:30,486 But this is all his fault! 1152 01:16:30,528 --> 01:16:33,073 You said you's gonna bring the water back. 1153 01:16:33,114 --> 01:16:35,700 It's just, we got no hope without that water. 1154 01:16:35,742 --> 01:16:37,368 We got nothing left to believe in. 1155 01:16:38,327 --> 01:16:40,621 You see that sign up there? 1156 01:16:40,663 --> 01:16:43,041 As long as that sign says "Sheriff," 1157 01:16:43,083 --> 01:16:45,334 you can believe that there's law and order in this town. 1158 01:16:45,376 --> 01:16:49,672 But without law and order, ruminate on that. Oh, yeah. 1159 01:16:49,714 --> 01:16:52,842 Starts out slow, like a fungus. 1160 01:16:52,884 --> 01:16:55,344 Somebody says a cross word. Accusations start flying. 1161 01:16:55,386 --> 01:16:56,596 Neighbor turns on neighbor. 1162 01:16:56,637 --> 01:16:58,139 Pretty soon, we're eating our children! 1163 01:16:58,180 --> 01:16:59,724 And then dogs and cats are getting together 1164 01:16:59,766 --> 01:17:01,642 to create all sorts of unnatural mutant aberrations! 1165 01:17:03,686 --> 01:17:06,147 So, you want something to believe in, Spoons? 1166 01:17:07,398 --> 01:17:08,691 Believe in me. 1167 01:17:10,317 --> 01:17:13,404 Believe in that there sign. 1168 01:17:13,446 --> 01:17:16,741 For as long as it hangs there, we got hope. 1169 01:17:42,058 --> 01:17:44,560 Hello, brother. 1170 01:17:45,227 --> 01:17:46,312 Thirsty? 1171 01:17:57,740 --> 01:18:02,369 Long time, brother. How you been keeping? 1172 01:18:02,411 --> 01:18:03,579 Well, you know... 1173 01:18:06,666 --> 01:18:11,045 I hear you been telling about how you killed all them Jenkins brothers. 1174 01:18:11,087 --> 01:18:12,630 With one bullet, wasn't it? 1175 01:18:13,923 --> 01:18:16,092 Isn't that right? 1176 01:18:16,134 --> 01:18:20,471 All these good folks here believe your little stories, don't they? 1177 01:18:20,513 --> 01:18:24,391 Why, they believe you're just a stone killer, don't they? 1178 01:18:24,433 --> 01:18:27,687 Seems these folks trust you. 1179 01:18:27,728 --> 01:18:30,898 They think you're gonna save their little town. 1180 01:18:30,940 --> 01:18:33,860 They think you're gonna save their little souls! 1181 01:18:38,072 --> 01:18:41,492 But we know better, don't we? 1182 01:18:47,581 --> 01:18:51,002 So why don't you show your friends here what you're made of? 1183 01:18:51,044 --> 01:18:54,214 Show them who you really are. 1184 01:18:54,255 --> 01:18:56,632 Why don't you just pull your gun and shoot me? 1185 01:18:56,674 --> 01:19:00,094 But, of course, you won't need all these. 1186 01:19:00,136 --> 01:19:01,888 Just one, right? 1187 01:19:04,098 --> 01:19:07,351 Go ahead, hero. Pull the trigger. 1188 01:19:11,064 --> 01:19:13,066 You got killer in your eyes, son? 1189 01:19:15,359 --> 01:19:17,028 I don't see it. 1190 01:19:20,114 --> 01:19:23,243 You didn't do any of them things you said, did you? 1191 01:19:23,284 --> 01:19:25,661 You didn't kill them Jenkins brothers. 1192 01:19:25,703 --> 01:19:27,371 You ain't even from the West! 1193 01:19:27,413 --> 01:19:28,706 Are you? 1194 01:19:29,331 --> 01:19:30,624 Say it! 1195 01:19:31,167 --> 01:19:32,710 No. 1196 01:19:32,752 --> 01:19:35,838 Oh, speak up. I don't think your friends here heard you. 1197 01:19:37,715 --> 01:19:39,050 No. 1198 01:19:39,092 --> 01:19:41,594 All you've done is lie to these good people. 1199 01:19:41,635 --> 01:19:45,223 You ain't nothing but a fake and a coward. Isn't that right? 1200 01:19:45,848 --> 01:19:47,183 Yes. 1201 01:19:47,225 --> 01:19:48,893 Louder! Yes. 1202 01:19:53,439 --> 01:19:56,483 Listen close, you pathetic fraud. 1203 01:19:56,525 --> 01:19:59,570 This is my town now. 1204 01:19:59,612 --> 01:20:01,488 If I ever see you again, 1205 01:20:01,530 --> 01:20:04,284 I will take your soul straight down to hell! 1206 01:20:21,467 --> 01:20:22,718 Who are you? 1207 01:22:19,793 --> 01:22:21,212 Who am I? 1208 01:22:23,381 --> 01:22:24,631 I'm nobody. 1209 01:24:04,648 --> 01:24:06,733 Ow! 1210 01:24:19,246 --> 01:24:20,789 Golden guardians. 1211 01:24:23,083 --> 01:24:24,626 The alabaster carriage. 1212 01:24:29,590 --> 01:24:31,217 The Spirit of the West. 1213 01:24:36,638 --> 01:24:40,351 Excuse me? Mister Spirit, sir? 1214 01:24:41,935 --> 01:24:44,730 Ah. There's a beaut. 1215 01:24:44,771 --> 01:24:47,400 Sometimes you got to dig deep to find what you're looking for. 1216 01:24:49,693 --> 01:24:50,693 So you made it. 1217 01:24:51,987 --> 01:24:53,406 Is this heaven? 1218 01:24:53,447 --> 01:24:56,617 If it were, we'd be eating Pop-Tarts with Kim Novak. 1219 01:24:57,326 --> 01:24:58,702 Yeah. 1220 01:24:58,744 --> 01:24:59,745 No kidding. 1221 01:25:00,871 --> 01:25:01,872 What are you doing out here? 1222 01:25:01,914 --> 01:25:04,584 Searching, same as you. 1223 01:25:04,625 --> 01:25:07,920 I don't even know what I'm looking for anymore. 1224 01:25:09,046 --> 01:25:10,297 I don't even know who I am. 1225 01:25:11,965 --> 01:25:13,467 They used to call you the Man with No Name. 1226 01:25:15,302 --> 01:25:19,056 These days they got a name for just about everything. 1227 01:25:19,098 --> 01:25:20,933 Doesn't matter what they call you. 1228 01:25:20,974 --> 01:25:23,227 It's the deeds make the man. 1229 01:25:23,269 --> 01:25:25,104 Yeah, but my deeds just made things worse. 1230 01:25:25,145 --> 01:25:27,398 I'm a fraud. I'm a phony! 1231 01:25:27,440 --> 01:25:29,191 My friends believed in me, 1232 01:25:29,233 --> 01:25:30,984 but they need some kind of hero. 1233 01:25:31,026 --> 01:25:33,195 Then be a hero. 1234 01:25:33,237 --> 01:25:35,573 No. No, no, you don't understand. 1235 01:25:35,615 --> 01:25:36,907 I'm not even supposed to be here. 1236 01:25:36,949 --> 01:25:38,784 That's right. 1237 01:25:38,825 --> 01:25:41,287 You came a long way to find something that isn't out here. 1238 01:25:42,413 --> 01:25:44,873 Don't you see? It's not about you. 1239 01:25:46,250 --> 01:25:47,751 It's about them. 1240 01:25:50,630 --> 01:25:52,423 But I can't go back. 1241 01:25:52,465 --> 01:25:54,300 Don't know that you got a choice, son. 1242 01:25:58,429 --> 01:26:00,764 No man can walk out on his own story. 1243 01:26:13,860 --> 01:26:14,945 So you made it. 1244 01:26:16,822 --> 01:26:20,326 That's right, amigo. The other side of the road. 1245 01:26:22,953 --> 01:26:25,998 Did you just see that? 1246 01:26:26,039 --> 01:26:27,958 We each see what we need to see. 1247 01:26:29,627 --> 01:26:31,337 Beautiful, isn't it? 1248 01:26:43,683 --> 01:26:44,683 Yeah. 1249 01:26:45,643 --> 01:26:47,978 It is. 1250 01:26:48,020 --> 01:26:50,564 Come, my friend. I want to show you something. 1251 01:26:54,985 --> 01:27:00,199 Many years ago, this entire valley was covered in agua. 1252 01:27:00,240 --> 01:27:03,536 Now only one question remains. 1253 01:27:05,204 --> 01:27:06,706 Where did it go? 1254 01:27:41,574 --> 01:27:43,325 They follow the water. 1255 01:27:43,367 --> 01:27:46,203 They follow the water! Come on! 1256 01:28:21,863 --> 01:28:23,657 That just don't make no sense. 1257 01:28:23,699 --> 01:28:26,201 Without water, that land is useless. 1258 01:28:27,453 --> 01:28:29,162 What are you building out here? 1259 01:28:29,204 --> 01:28:31,123 The future, Mr. Rango. 1260 01:28:31,164 --> 01:28:33,292 You can either be part of it, 1261 01:28:33,333 --> 01:28:35,461 or you can be left behind. 1262 01:28:38,464 --> 01:28:40,841 I was here before the highway split this great valley. 1263 01:28:44,219 --> 01:28:46,847 I watched the march of progress, 1264 01:28:46,888 --> 01:28:48,599 and I learned a thing or two. 1265 01:28:54,271 --> 01:28:55,815 Control the water 1266 01:28:56,816 --> 01:28:58,692 and you control everything. 1267 01:29:05,783 --> 01:29:07,743 Come now, Mr. Rango. 1268 01:29:07,785 --> 01:29:10,287 You attribute divine power to me. 1269 01:29:10,329 --> 01:29:12,623 How on earth could I possibly control the water? 1270 01:29:49,743 --> 01:29:51,244 What now, amigo? 1271 01:29:59,503 --> 01:30:01,797 No man can walk out on his own story. 1272 01:30:03,716 --> 01:30:05,133 I'm going back. 1273 01:30:06,760 --> 01:30:07,803 But why? 1274 01:30:09,262 --> 01:30:11,223 Because that's who I am. 1275 01:30:23,694 --> 01:30:26,279 You got a lot of nerve showing up here, lawman. 1276 01:30:26,321 --> 01:30:28,031 What is it you want? 1277 01:30:29,324 --> 01:30:31,243 Your pappy and them boys are about to hang 1278 01:30:31,284 --> 01:30:32,619 for something they didn't do. 1279 01:30:34,287 --> 01:30:35,873 But I've got a plan. 1280 01:31:04,192 --> 01:31:07,320 I appreciate how difficult this is for you, Beans. 1281 01:31:07,362 --> 01:31:10,156 But you're making a practical decision. 1282 01:31:10,198 --> 01:31:11,700 Decisions, decisions. 1283 01:31:12,910 --> 01:31:14,870 There's no need for any more suffering. 1284 01:31:22,920 --> 01:31:26,840 Your family's ranch is nothing but a wasteland now. 1285 01:31:26,882 --> 01:31:30,928 Sign the deed and relieve yourself of your father's burden. 1286 01:31:34,097 --> 01:31:36,308 My daddy was not a burden! 1287 01:31:36,349 --> 01:31:38,310 Keep your blood money and I'll keep my land! 1288 01:31:44,984 --> 01:31:48,153 Do what he says or, by all the fires of the black pit, 1289 01:31:48,194 --> 01:31:51,281 I'll squeeze them pretty brown eyes out of your skull! 1290 01:31:52,825 --> 01:31:54,534 Now, hold on, Jake. There's no need to... 1291 01:31:54,576 --> 01:31:57,037 Let me do my job! You brought me in. 1292 01:31:57,078 --> 01:31:59,456 Now we're gonna play this thing out to the end! 1293 01:32:00,666 --> 01:32:03,084 Sign the damn paper, woman! 1294 01:32:03,126 --> 01:32:04,670 Go to hell! 1295 01:32:04,711 --> 01:32:07,172 Where do you think I come from? 1296 01:32:07,881 --> 01:32:10,175 Look into my eyes. 1297 01:32:10,216 --> 01:32:12,552 I want to see you die. 1298 01:32:17,599 --> 01:32:18,725 Jake! 1299 01:32:22,312 --> 01:32:24,023 I'm calling you out! 1300 01:32:26,692 --> 01:32:28,735 Jake! 1301 01:32:28,777 --> 01:32:32,113 This day just got a little more interesting. 1302 01:33:00,225 --> 01:33:01,643 Put her down. 1303 01:33:01,685 --> 01:33:05,397 Or what, little man? You going to kill me? 1304 01:33:05,438 --> 01:33:06,773 That's just about the size of it. 1305 01:33:09,818 --> 01:33:11,277 Get your filthy paws off me! 1306 01:33:11,319 --> 01:33:12,654 Shut your gob! 1307 01:33:12,696 --> 01:33:15,365 All right, Sheriff, make your move. 1308 01:34:47,373 --> 01:34:48,834 Now, amigos! 1309 01:34:53,797 --> 01:34:56,091 Heave! Heave! 1310 01:35:05,184 --> 01:35:06,226 Ow! 1311 01:35:13,441 --> 01:35:15,652 That was a bad idea. 1312 01:35:20,199 --> 01:35:21,366 Thirsty, brother? 1313 01:35:21,407 --> 01:35:22,408 Huh? 1314 01:35:24,953 --> 01:35:26,538 Here it comes! 1315 01:35:29,124 --> 01:35:30,291 No. No! 1316 01:35:34,546 --> 01:35:36,089 It's a miracle! 1317 01:35:36,131 --> 01:35:37,465 Look out! 1318 01:35:44,430 --> 01:35:46,225 Lookee there! What is that? 1319 01:35:47,809 --> 01:35:49,853 It's our salvation, Pa! 1320 01:35:49,895 --> 01:35:52,272 It's a jailbreak, boys! We're busting out! 1321 01:36:02,824 --> 01:36:04,784 I'm gonna blow so many holes in you, 1322 01:36:04,826 --> 01:36:07,079 your guts'll be leaking lead! 1323 01:36:07,120 --> 01:36:09,248 Well, then it's a good thing I brought some backup. 1324 01:36:21,260 --> 01:36:22,260 What? 1325 01:36:25,847 --> 01:36:27,599 Ain't no hawk. 1326 01:36:27,640 --> 01:36:28,934 Ain't nothing but bats! 1327 01:36:32,604 --> 01:36:35,440 Stick to the plan, boys! Let's bleed that devil dry! 1328 01:36:48,120 --> 01:36:50,538 It only takes one bullet. 1329 01:36:50,580 --> 01:36:52,291 You ain't got the nerve. 1330 01:36:53,708 --> 01:36:54,960 Try me. 1331 01:36:59,589 --> 01:37:01,466 Oh, Mr. Rango. 1332 01:37:01,507 --> 01:37:03,302 Aren't you forgetting something? 1333 01:37:08,932 --> 01:37:10,725 Hand me your gun, Sheriff. 1334 01:37:13,519 --> 01:37:15,063 Now, Mr. Rango. 1335 01:37:27,617 --> 01:37:29,452 Beans! Hold on. Don't worry, I got a plan. 1336 01:37:30,411 --> 01:37:32,164 Help! 1337 01:37:32,789 --> 01:37:34,374 Open the door! 1338 01:37:35,917 --> 01:37:37,294 Okay, plan B. 1339 01:37:38,544 --> 01:37:40,130 Beans, you're mumbling. 1340 01:37:40,172 --> 01:37:43,883 All my problems taken care of except for one. 1341 01:37:45,010 --> 01:37:46,178 It's a new West, Jake. 1342 01:37:46,219 --> 01:37:48,180 There's no room for gunslingers anymore. 1343 01:37:49,097 --> 01:37:50,890 We're businessmen now. 1344 01:37:50,932 --> 01:37:52,558 Yeah, we got new hats. 1345 01:37:52,600 --> 01:37:55,770 Where I come from, we call this improvisation. 1346 01:37:57,605 --> 01:37:58,982 You came back. 1347 01:38:06,406 --> 01:38:08,825 What was that? 1348 01:38:08,867 --> 01:38:11,370 No need to panic, but I think you just swallowed plan B. 1349 01:38:11,411 --> 01:38:12,453 What? 1350 01:38:14,247 --> 01:38:16,124 Okay, panic time. 1351 01:38:16,166 --> 01:38:18,877 You and the Sheriff are more alike than you think. 1352 01:38:18,918 --> 01:38:21,087 You're nothing but legends. 1353 01:38:21,129 --> 01:38:24,383 Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed. 1354 01:38:27,927 --> 01:38:30,889 One last bullet to kill one last outlaw. 1355 01:38:32,682 --> 01:38:34,309 How fitting. 1356 01:39:08,927 --> 01:39:11,096 Sheriff, I'm sure if we work together, 1357 01:39:11,137 --> 01:39:13,181 we can reach a mutually beneficial solution 1358 01:39:13,223 --> 01:39:15,308 to our current situation. 1359 01:39:15,350 --> 01:39:17,060 You better take it up with him. 1360 01:39:28,780 --> 01:39:30,240 One bullet. 1361 01:39:32,033 --> 01:39:33,952 I tip my hat to you, 1362 01:39:33,993 --> 01:39:36,329 one legend to another. 1363 01:39:39,207 --> 01:39:41,418 What was that you said? 1364 01:39:41,460 --> 01:39:46,339 "Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed." 1365 01:39:46,381 --> 01:39:48,007 No, Jake! No! 1366 01:40:00,979 --> 01:40:02,188 Rango! 1367 01:40:03,689 --> 01:40:06,609 You brought the water back, just like you promised. 1368 01:40:07,693 --> 01:40:09,321 You really are a hero. 1369 01:40:10,489 --> 01:40:13,741 Well, the thing about heroes is, whenever you... 1370 01:40:13,783 --> 01:40:15,201 Don't spoil it. 1371 01:40:15,494 --> 01:40:17,370 Right. 1372 01:40:17,412 --> 01:40:18,621 Well, I don't know about you all, 1373 01:40:18,663 --> 01:40:20,165 but I could sure go for a dip. 1374 01:40:24,377 --> 01:40:27,588 And so the lizard completes his journey 1375 01:40:27,630 --> 01:40:31,134 from humble beginnings to the legend we sing of today. 1376 01:40:31,176 --> 01:40:33,553 And although he is certain to die, 1377 01:40:33,594 --> 01:40:36,222 perhaps from a household accident, 1378 01:40:36,264 --> 01:40:39,225 which account for 65% of all unnatural deaths, 1379 01:40:39,267 --> 01:40:42,854 the people of the village will always remember 1380 01:40:42,895 --> 01:40:45,773 the name of the one who saved them. 1381 01:40:45,815 --> 01:40:47,108 Rango!